What are some things you guys do on first dates to make sure the woman knows this is not about friendship?

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-06-24T02:26:45+00:00

You need to flirt sexually with her. Something that should be obvious but which for some reason guys forget to do or avoid doing out of fear of being called a creep.

Basically if you don’t act like you desire her the woman will treat you as a friend, if you don’t create sexual tension, if you don’t act like she is a woman you want to fuck throughout the date and instead keep treating her like your pal or like your sister, then she will think you two should just be friends.

Guys just play it too safe when they are in a date with a woman, they don’t flirt sexually they don’t make her feel wanted and sexy, instead they treat the girl not much different than they would treat their sister. They just share some laughs, have a good time, no awkward silences or anything, but do not actually hit on the girl which makes things feel platonic.

OneWorld87 · 2022-06-24T08:50:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-06-24T01:59:00+00:00

Escalate the physical touch.

Litenpes · 2022-06-24T07:06:14+00:00

Good thing you're raising this subject, since it's one of the main reasons men are striking out on dates resulting in no second date.

To answer your question: Physical and verbal escalation, talk about the concept of "us" in different ways.

GlitteringPause8 · 2022-06-24T03:48:00+00:00

We’re confused because we don’t know if it’s a date in the first place or not. So if you ask a woman our, make it clear it is a date

burncushlikewood · 2022-06-24T03:07:40+00:00

Kino escalation, usually asking for a date is enough to show you're interested, I have trouble knowing when to make a move, so finding the right timing is important. Also the date location is important, don't take her to a movie it's a terrible date idea, go to a nice quiet bar and grab a drink, great time to talk and you can escalate as well

TeslaNicole · 2022-06-24T04:24:50+00:00

Koss her

keptit2real · 2022-06-24T11:54:59+00:00

One thing I suggest is not masturbating for 1-2 days before the date. It can help with keeping focus on building sexual tension

Professional_Base117 · 2022-06-24T07:40:37+00:00

Give her the bedroom eyes and be touchy. Not in a rapey way but gentile and subtile .

BrummieAMN19 · 2022-06-24T04:21:33+00:00

Moving things forward through physical and sexual escalation

compliance ladders and tests

yes ladders

demonstration of higher value through actions and stories

building sexual tension

strong body language, vocal inflexions and tonality

conversation threads to go by

frame

open and closed hoops

qualifying and teasing

establishing myself as an authority, especially a sexual one

Contango6969 · 2022-06-24T03:09:57+00:00

Show don’t tell.

I’ve never been friend zoned and I can’t think of the reason why really. Maybe because of low self esteem I never dated a girl too significantly more attractive than me. Maybe I’m just more escalating and aggressive than average. Maybe I’m too much of an asshole for them to want to be my friend. But yeah I wish I could pinpoint the secret to it lol

alexmaycovid · 2022-06-24T07:28:37+00:00

You need to develop a story. You do those things that only boyfriends do. You touch her, kiss, and later have sex. Anyway a good communication is the key if you don't click by conversation she won't allow you to continue, touch, kiss etc.

wiwoo · 2022-06-24T16:39:36+00:00

Do this https://i.imgflip.com/36e8se.png

i_love_crazy_hobos · 2022-06-24T02:54:59+00:00

When I go on a date with a woman, I hold her hand either immediately after we meet (if we're going to walk somewhere), or pretty soon after meeting (5-15 minutes). I also go for a kiss within the first 30 minutes almost always.

Even if she doesn't want to kiss right then, she knows what this is about (and would probably make it clear at that point if she wasn't feeling that way).

letmereaddamnit · 2022-06-24T03:51:07+00:00

Well, I guess that they like to imagine that theyre nice enough that a guy might just want to break friends. It probably influences them enough to not realize they're on a date until it escalates.

NastyMonkeyKing · 2022-06-24T02:40:31+00:00

Go in for a kiss at the end of the date

mrblack-- · 2022-06-24T09:54:06+00:00

I do something fun, then say the loser has to do something

I usually say if she loses she has to give me a kiss on the cheek. I KNOW it sounds lame but I’m telling you every girl I’ve done that too I’ve slept with on the second date.

I don’t touch them (unless they touch me first), I don’t talk about sex, I don’t flirt or do anything on the first date apart from pay for the drinks and ask them questions about themselves then go do something fun… that’s it

Neo-Rio · 2022-06-24T05:40:31+00:00

Don't let women set the frame. You know you want to bang her. She knows you want to bang her... and yet she carries on like you're just buddies?

Women aren't confused. They're just doing what they've always done.

Many guys have kissed her butt for so long... so now's your turn!!

...Unless you do something to stop that of course.

What you should be doing is putting your arm out for her to hold (and then guiding her to do it if she isn't forthcoming), and then tell her to kiss you and point to your cheek. These are basic compliance tests which incorporate physical contact.

As to what to talk to women about - I'm not about to regurgitate the work of Ross Jeffries, but I'll leave this as an exercise for the reader:

Go read a cheap romance novel, and then during your date, start telling the girl in graphic and explicit detail, what happened in the story. Especially the sex scenes. In fact, study the language used and regurgitate it word for word when you get to those bits as much a possible. You start out with "You'll never guess what happened in this romance novel I was reading... " and off you go and quickly fast forward to the sex scenes. Then you say "Wow, I can't believe someone wrote that!"

Designer_Ad_881 · 2022-06-24T04:59:13+00:00

Because you watch too much Disney movies and think dating is a happy ever living story that you are starting. Girls see's you as being too nice and friendzone you. It doesn't exite them.

What you need to do is flirt. Often I like treating my dates likes if they are my annoying little sister. This shows confidence in not trying too hard to please her. Like just tell her she is silly (and laugh) when she did something silly. Don't tell her awww its okay everybody makes mistakes... Blablabla.

Some things you can do to flirt:

1) Open door for her, let her pass and then say "that ass tho"

2) try to sit next to her instead of in front during a diner date or drink date. You may start by being in front, but then with a pretext like "I need to show you pics of my cat" go sit next to her and stay there.

3) Tell her "hey how small are you hands?" Then you put your hands face to face to compare. Or take her hand and say nice nails and observe them (if she has manicure).

How not to be a creep: There is a balance where you need to let go pf her hands sometimes and just talk and see if she would do something to get closer, like touching you while laughing. This is a sign that she is okay and you can continue escalating.

Shit tests: Whenever you do everything good, she will shit test you just to make sure you understand the situation and you are no insecure beta. For example, the girl will randomly say something like "why are you flirting with me we are just friend we won't have intimacy". To fail the test and be friendzoned forever, say something like "ohh no I wasn't blablabla". To pass the test, be assertive as you see the situation, don't back down. Ex: "that was so random how come you're so dirty minded to even think about intimacy with me, we just met relax your time will come maybe", or be sarcastic "oh you must have misread the situation I'm actually so gay you make my dong shrink, there is no chance" then proceed to physical touches with a smile on your face. Shit test vary you will fail alot but with time you will enjoy them as it means the girl is interested. It became second nature to me.

When she talks about her problems, don't try to solve them for her, you're not in a relationship with her yet to do that. Just listen to her.

Edit: Fear of being creepy: Find genuine solutions, personally, I explain to girls that sex is not that important to me, I like all the road that brings there, flirting, complicity, etc. If it happens it means we both like each others but that's not the goal as long as I see you smile I'm happy sweety.

Sometimes depending on the situation it might be a shit test so I'll put her in her place like: ya I'm creepy I like sex but you're not ready for that yet sweety.

This shows confidence and that you are perfectly aware and in control of the situation.

Hope it helps playa

Live-Ad-6309 · 2022-06-24T06:48:11+00:00

Just make sure there is a sexual undertone to the conversation. Physical compliments don't hurt either though can be overdone.

Yerebeets · 2022-06-24T09:22:05+00:00

I mean it should already be obvious based on how you invite her on the date, I make my intentions clear feom the beginning

JalapenoPeanutbutter · 2022-06-24T15:41:33+00:00

Just say you're looking for something more than friendship. Lol ezpz Straight and to the point.

nojremark · 2022-06-24T15:41:51+00:00

I'm pretty explicit about my attraction and intentions before the date, I don't want awkward surprised reactions if I go for a kiss or get flirtatious. 🙂👍

tomatoeandspinach · 2022-06-24T17:00:09+00:00

Women say that because they’re afraid that you are using them for a hookup. The reality is that they are interested in sexual relations.

Don’t be fooled by what they say. This is the reality of all relationships.

VorpalPaperclip · 2022-06-24T02:54:55+00:00

As others say, go for a kiss, that sorts that out immediately.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-24T03:13:58+00:00

For one don't date them. And you should really be having this conversation when you first meet them.

WalksAtNoon · 2022-06-24T04:35:07+00:00

I fucked up lasting 40 seconds after no having any more 2 years she’s been distant as heck and I did everything right before it all lmao I want a re do man

Bingo_is_the_man · 2022-06-24T04:33:17+00:00

Make a move

theonlyone00 · 2022-06-24T12:21:27+00:00

First of all if she did accept to go on a date with you, it means she’s having girlfriend-boyfriend intention. If after the date, she’s only willing to accept you as a friend, it translates to you not making a good impression on the girl so it kinda comforts her into not choosing you as a life mate

hardyxoxo · 2022-06-24T14:53:12+00:00

Flirt

321gumby · 2022-06-24T16:53:32+00:00

Physical contact. And I always try to go for a kiss first date.

gathee · 2022-06-24T17:39:39+00:00

Tell her you want sex

GotThaAcid5tab · 2022-06-24T19:25:38+00:00

Pull out the old boy and start yankin’

ShortStuffV2 · 2022-06-24T20:01:59+00:00

Why would I want to be friends with her?

Because women are people and people can have common interests or complementing personalities. Also, they might know other women or open your life up to other opportunities.

I certainly get the feeling of "I have enough friends, I just want to get laid" but definitely don't rob yourself by feeling like the alternative is worthless.

pool-of-coolol · 2022-06-25T01:13:46+00:00

Some girls are just slow! We want to see who you are, how you act in situations, to see if we like it or mesh, we want to build a bond as a friend (doesn’t necessarily mean JUST a friend) and companion so that the relationship isn’t built off of just sexual desire. So be yourself! If that’s flirting to show interest then go ahead and it lets her know you’re into her like that but maybe she’s hoping that not ALL you’re interested in!

But there is a possibility she doesn’t end up feeling that click (or vise versa) and doesn’t want to move in that direction to minimize hurt feelings. If that’s so, either you have a friend or you part ways to find someone who does.

i_love_crazy_hobos · 2022-06-26T21:32:06+00:00

As another note, I feel like if you're getting women on dates with you that think it's about friendship, you're doing something wrong from the beginning. The woman should know you are attracted to her and that this isn't a friendship, when you first meet.

This even applies to online dating. You should be saying things that confirm to her you're looking for a romantic thing.

Title	What are some things you guys do on first dates to make sure the woman knows this is not about friendship?
Author	SebastianPatel
Upvotes	143
Comments	96
Date	June 24, 2022 1:46 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vjcuqk/what_are_some_things_you_guys_do_on_first_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-are-some-things-you-guys-do-on-first-dates-to.1256257 https://theredarchive.com/post/1256257

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