David Wygant is Here in this thread to ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS! Q&A TIME!

MonkeySteriods · 2011-02-23T03:19:48+00:00

What was your "ah ha" moment?

davidwygant · 2011-02-23T03:34:03+00:00

Thanks for you time, David.

What is the difference between a confident and an arrogant man?

davidwygant · 2011-02-23T03:21:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:27:51+00:00

From introvert_guy:

Some of us have never been outgoing in our entire life, as introverts we like spending time alone than with others. Its pretty difficult to change anything about us in a short time. It feels very very weird for us to walk up to stranger and start a conversation. Can you tell us some little steps/exercises doing which we can talk more easily with others, and slowly get better and good enough to speak to total strangers?

2011-02-23T03:19:13+00:00

No questions- just wanted to personally say thank you for taking time to do this, David! We're all huge fans.

marbles12 · 2011-02-23T03:38:21+00:00

Any advice on impoving my vocal projection? I feel like this is a HUGE part in being social and attractive in general. I've met people that within seconds I can tell if they're confident or not simply by how loud and articulate they are. I believe most shy people have a very low tone of voice and scared to speak their mind most of the time.

I try to sound like a confident guy but I'm not there yet. It sounds forced. Any suggestions?

webalbatross · 2011-02-23T03:59:05+00:00

Hi, David, and first of all thank you for this... Here's my question: I'm a lesbian girl, and I usually have problems flirting with girls, as I don't know a priori whether or not she's gay. What can I do, with my body language, eye-contact and presence, to let women know I'm probably interested in them while not freaking possibly heterosexual girls out?

caranova · 2011-02-23T04:19:30+00:00

I just want to say that after years of reading PUA material, coming across yours was my "Ah ha!" moment.

frogma · 2011-02-23T04:28:31+00:00

Hey David, figured I'd ask:

How do you deal with last-minute resistance? When you're on the cusp of sex and the woman says she doesn't want it.

Usually I either back it up and try again a bit later or stop altogether, basically anything that amps up her hornyness. It works fine most of the time, but I was wondering if there's anything specific that you do.

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:19:24+00:00

From afungi:

I've read a lot of your advice that seems to center around initiating conversations and making a connection with women. Your advice on this is spot on and works like a charm. But there is one thing that I haven't heard you talk much about, and that is turning the conversation sexual or establishing yourself as a potential sexual partner right away.

Do you have any advice on this? I've noticed that women love to talk about sex, but it's not always easy to bring it up in conversation.

Lightfiend · 2011-02-23T05:40:05+00:00

How do you blog everyday if you are really this shitty of a typer? Do you hire ghostwriters?

davidwygant · 2011-02-23T03:47:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:33:26+00:00

From ThrowawayPUA: (paraphrased)

This sometimes feels like a younger man's game. Any specific advice for a 52 year old?

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:21:25+00:00

From Aurorae:

Question from a girl: How can I appear approachable to men when I'm out?

I know some things include looking and feeling confident and being open to talking to people I encounter, but is there anything else I'm missing?

Is it just that these things can only help a little, and most of it is just how physically attractive you happen to be?

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:19:02+00:00

As usual, vote this thread up for all to see, please! I will be pasting questions in, but feel free to add your own!

chebb · 2011-02-23T04:00:39+00:00

Hi David, thanks alot for doing this AMA! I want to apologise in advance about the use of some pickup terminology, I'm not quite sure about your feelings on them but I don't think you encourage their use (just checked, definitely don't). Anyway I've always like your material (appreciate the effort put into the youtube vids) and as far as I can tell, you seem to be a big proponent of the natural game, talking to everyone, being charming to everyone, and being an overall great guy. So I'm going to also assume that you're a proponent of the social game ie. having a large network of friends who like you because you are fun to hang out with, whatever you're doing. Basically being the go-to guy and leader of your social circle.

My question is what ways can former afc's (generally people who weren't very social for most of their lives) catch up on learning to be naturally social in a social circle, or even, do you have any tips to speed the process along.

Some context. I love pick up, in general. I can go out to a club or any event on my own and impress myself with how well I do socially, and how different ideas work. I feel confident now in situations around new people, and I have pickup to thank for it. I believe the reason I have this confidence is because I know what to do in a given situation, generally how to act (and equally how not to act), and have enough experience now to feel very comfortable in my own skin and not worry about the outcomes of social situations. None of this is canned material, but the result of trial and error and inner game development over 1-2 years since learning about pickup.

But the thing is, by learning pickup I've been learning a pretty specific skill while also developing my more general social skills. That said, being skilled in pickup relatively easy, as almost all guys are bad at picking up women, so to get ahead only required a bit of time in this area. However being a generally social guy is another story. Whereas alot of guys don't pickup women the same way we learn to, the majority of them lead generally social lives and are much more experienced, and partly as a result confident, in these social situations.

I find it hard to mix with some groups (the more elite the group, the more difficult I find it) as I don't know how to act around these people. I find it much easier to be independent, which is something I've thought myself through pickup to appreciate. I can go and do whatever I want, regardless of what other people want to do, and I can act whatever way I want because I'm not seeking peoples approval. I find this works very well when meeting people for the 1st time (not just pickup), but it also leaves me almost helpless when I'm stuck with a group of people. If we are meant to go somewhere, and people are busy (or drunk), I can't just leave on my own as it's not conductive to a social environment. Yet waiting for others conflicts with my alpha characteristics, and in the end I feel frustrated.

So this leaves me to be the independent guy I'm used to being and enjoy being. However I realise that by doing this, I'm just hiding up a weak spot and am not being conductive to creating lasting friendships. So to repeat my question, I know social basics and have gotten relatively far in game, but is there any way I can learn to be social, something more outgoing people have years more experience at, at a faster rate than if I just started forcing myself to hang out with people and put up with the teething problems when I start out?

Obsidian743 · 2011-02-23T03:28:47+00:00

Explain some of your biggest failures while being a MPUA and what you've learned from them.

Could you have always done something different/better? If so, give examples.

nycprowl · 2011-02-23T03:35:28+00:00

Hey David, thank you for taking the time, your advice and guides have been the ones that resonate with me most. Two questions for you.

You handle approach anxiety a lot and I've come a long way. However, something that i still sometimes get is escalation anxiety (going for kiss, etc), especially with girls who are shy and don't show any reciprocation, but are receptive. What is the best way to overcome escalation anxiety?
I know you're a firm believer in not waiting 3 days (and I'm the same way), but do you believe in overtexting (does a conversation through text help or kill attraction when you first meet? What about after you've been on a few dates?)

I have a lot more questions but I'm trying not to be greedy.

PyouA · 2011-02-23T03:36:51+00:00

Hey David, Welcome.

I've had a couple of different girls tell me that I'm difficult to approach but once they start talking to me I'm a lot of fun. The girls who I don't make a cold approach to are always the ones that work out better for me (if a girl is brought into our group by a friend or if she opens to me, for example). I almost always enjoy these conversations more and way more often develop a romantic relationship from this kind of meeting rather than a cold approach.

When I just go in for it and start talking to strangers, I act different. Its like I'm performing instead of just being real. I never get blown out because I'm entertaining/challenging/whatever but at the end of the day cold approaches tend to lead nowhere for me.

I know I didn't give you much to work with here, but how can I be the normal me and still start conversations with strangers? Do you ever feel like your performing when your opening?

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:33:07+00:00

From FakeAndGay: (paraphrased)

What advice do you have for a nervous high school student with extreme approach anxiety? I want to approach people in the halls and in my classes but I just get nervous.

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:28:05+00:00

From apocalyptic:

What knowledge, skills, and qualities that we learn in Pick-Up are applicable and helpful in maintaining a healthy relationship?

And as a caveat to the above question:

How can we best develop these skills and qualities?

MimoSkater · 2011-02-23T03:23:40+00:00

For those of us who are introverted:

Do you think that we should try and step our shell and meet new people (an unnatural thing for us to do) or do you think that we should simply stick to being our reserved selves until we find someone that we will resonate with without having to change how we behave? Or a balance between the two?

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:38:19+00:00

From takfam:

One thing I've taken from your teachings is that you encourage men to go pursue their interests and meet women of like interest in the pursuit of those activities.

My question is: What if a man has interests that are largely male in demographic? That is to say, what if very few women are interested in what one man is interested in? Is it a game of patience at that point simply waiting for new women to enter the activity, or should one expand one's interests and explore new hobbies and activities?

unsexyMF · 2011-02-23T03:24:53+00:00

I know that part of your philosophy is "talk to everyone." I'm an introvert, and while I've been able to get over a lot of my social fears, I still find it tiresome to be really really social. Usually, when I go out, I just talk to my wing man and the girls I'm interested in. I don't build up a ton of social proof, but I do get plenty of decent leads.

Do you have advice for those of us who get wiped out by too much socializing?

davidwygant · 2011-02-23T03:33:03+00:00

It's funny. I finally have the opportunity to ask one of the people who changed my life something directly and I can't think of a good question, but here goes:

I am strictly a person who likes to talk to women in the day. I find that the connection is deeper when I can actually hear their voice. :P

On those days when I just don't feel up for talking to anybody, or I'm just in a bad mood, would it actually be beneficial to try and have a meaningful conversation with them? Would anything actually come from that interaction?

diath · 2011-02-23T04:04:19+00:00

What are the main "traps" that you see in popular PUA thinking/terminology that we should avoid?

l33r · 2011-02-23T05:24:02+00:00

First off: Thank you. I am a big fan of your work.

Are you planning on applying your strategies to other things such as: corporate networking & getting a job?

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:27:36+00:00

From expectingrain:

Love your podcasts- Do you take any kind of voice or speech coaching? Your presentation is very good.

Also, are you a guerrilla marketing campaign for Whole Foods :) :) :)

sil3ntpua · 2011-02-23T03:36:58+00:00

Hey David,

Love your stuff. Just a question from a college student. Do you feel that your ideas and methods apply just the same everywhere? Or do you have some advice that might help someone in college more than the average person out there?

Thanks!

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:51:08+00:00

From theorem4:

21, college, have never approached a girl. I'm not concerned about my looks, but I am concerned about my self-image. Indeed, I went to a small high school, and was approached very directly and seriously at least twice (chickened out both times.) Since I've been going to college, I haven't had that same atmosphere where I know everyone in my class. I think I have an inferiority complex. I've been reading the stuff here for about a month, but I still turn to stone every time I have an opportunity.

msmiitz · 2011-02-23T04:13:32+00:00

You talk a lot about being in the present, how are you able to to silence the "monkey chatter" and live in the moment?

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T04:24:06+00:00

From doraemonxo:

David, I have a few guy friends that are shy around women, yet when I try to give them advice (such as your techniques) they don't want to hear it or avoid the subject entirely. How do I get them to open up and just at least try it out?

davidwygant · 2011-02-23T05:19:22+00:00

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davidwygant · 2011-02-23T05:38:05+00:00

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Obsidian743 · 2011-02-23T03:28:39+00:00

Many men struggle not with their game, but competing with the other men in these womens' lives.

When one is after a high value woman, how does one make sure they are the best, most interesting option in their life?

Specifically, how does one do this without coming off pushy, over the top, needy, or clingy? Any specific tips on how to supersede what other plans they might have with other men in their lives?

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:50:18+00:00

From Burgle22: (slightly shortened)

David,

What kind of advice would you have for the average non-jock college student?

My personal situation is probably pretty common. I'm 21, and a Junior (should be senior). I go to a smaller school that feels almost like high school part 2.

I've had some success with girls this year, but nothing substantial. Kissed a few, but thats it. I wasn't even THAT into them either. Just kind of went with it. I'm stuck now. I don't know any other girls and the one I was really interested in wasn't showing any signs of being the least bit into me, so I stopped that. This means I need to meet entirely new people. The only place I can imagine meeting a girl is at the gym, and I can't help but feel like a creep going up to a girl working out. (clubs aren't a big deal on my campus either but If I were to join one now it would be odd as it's halfway through the second semester and everyone already knows each other).

To cut to the chase I want to get the girls I want, not to have to settle. I need to create more opportunities for myself and I also feel as if I don't spark girls sexual side which may lead to me getting friend-zoned. I could go on forever, but I'm sure you can give me some pretty good advice based on what I've said.

Sorry this is so long but thanks a whole bunch if you answer my question. I've read a lot of your stuff and am a big fan!

2011-02-23T03:24:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Wumb0l0gy · 2011-02-23T03:27:58+00:00

David, I know you were a coach on an episode of MTV's Made several years ago. Do you have a link to that video or where I could find it by any chance?

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:38:36+00:00

From StarkNYC:

Hey thanks so much for taking the time! I've seen some of your stuff and it looks top-notch! I understand your style is very day-game/natural/on-your-way-to-things...

What is the best way to hook conversations when doing this (short of going direct, which may not be appropriate if there are many people around)? Do you simply find girls that respond well and want to keep it going, or does plowing with girls work well?

Where is the best time and places to meet girls in your experience?

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:20:29+00:00

From SnarkyMcChode:

Since we're on reddit, what advice does he have for those guys who are "forever alone", guys that have never been with anyone, whether it was inherent shyness or cultural background?

To use some of his terminology, how do we stop that little voice inside our head that tells us "Don't make a fool out of yourself and just keep walking/working out/ doing whatever"?

TofuTofu · 2011-02-23T03:38:02+00:00

From KarmaKaiser:

How important to you are the ego enhancement exercises in regards to meeting women. For example in the Mastery Series you make a big point of having a good wardrobe and I believe you touched on having physical fitness. How important are these activities to achieve the kind of lifestyle that attracts women into a person's life? Are they "low hanging fruit?," being things that are easier to fix that produce good results, or are they articulately essential to attracting women? Second Question:

You have a lot of disdain for the wider "Pick-up" Community. For instance, you refuse to refer to yourself as a seduction guru and refuse to refer to what you do as Pick-up. Who, in your opinion, "gets it." What other resources, besides those done by your own company do you think do the most good?

davidwygant · 2011-02-23T04:42:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Sealbhach · 2011-02-23T05:12:51+00:00

Upvote for David, you have a great message.

mysedditaccount · 2011-02-23T05:18:08+00:00

David - do you have to approach attraction differently if you are interested in conservative christian types?

musicismygf4 · 2011-02-23T05:50:51+00:00

Hi David,

First off love what you do. I've had friends that have seen you in speeches at colleges and they just talk wonders about you. I've read some of your older blogs and they have helped me alot. I just have a few questions. If you don't want to answer all of them thats more than fine and I'm sorry for the wall of text. :/

I read on this thread David that you say guys should put themselves in situations they enjoy and that will help spark conversations and confidence. I myself love going dancing, latin and 80's night at this one club in my city. I'm not much a fan of the mainstream music and club scene because I just don't feel like its real dancing (grinding). Not that 80's music is "dancing" music but I have more fun in those situations although I won't say I've never had fun at the other clubs it just depended on the mood I was in.

You note that women are more attracted to guys who are having fun already and enjoying themselves. When I go dancing I'm usually the craziest of my group, dancing with myself and with all my friends. I'm striking up conversations with people and random people I don't even know/remember come up to me and greet me by my name. I've had moments where I've been dancing with friends and a random girl will come up to me and ask to dance or just start dancing on me. I've had a couple girls call me out in the middle of a crowd and bid me to come over. Hell I even had once just give me her number and just walk away( I didn't even notice her the whole night). So I guess I'm on the right track in terms of getting that positive attention. But I have trouble initiating a conversation with a girl or asking them to dance, even if its blatantly obvious she wants me to ask I just chicken out at that point. Once it gets to one on one with a girl, all that confidence falls away. How can I fix this to whether I'm in a group of strangers or I'm one on one with a new girl, the confidence is there in both situations?

A question I have is, how does one initiate a conversation in that sort of situation and how does one keep it going? After a while you can't really talk about the music or the dancing. I've heard that relationships that start in those situations never last because they are based on being entirely superficial attraction because you're just judging this on how they look. This part I partially disagree with based on the situations I'm sometimes in because I typically can find a spot thats quiet enough that you can have a conversation (smoking patio, more private bar area) but I have been to bars or clubs that you cannot have a conversation in because everywhere is loud so I can see why someone would think this is true. Do you agree with this notion? And whether its a yes or no, how or can someone circumvent this?

Thanks again for this awesome AMA!

BigPhun · 2011-02-23T07:13:49+00:00

This might be a huge AFC question, but I'm really perplexed about it.

I'm very interested in the ex-fiance of a good friend of mine. We both met her in college (me first[if that counts]). He started dating her, they moved in together, got engaged at 5 years, broke up at 6... Anyway, that was about 3 months ago. I've been talking with both since, but mostly to her. We have plans to meet up on Friday.

I still have some conflict about going after her. I admit that I've always liked her. It seems stupid to post a moral question to a seduction guru, but I think she'll sense if I'm not committed. What should I do?

2011-02-23T14:59:21+00:00

what's your definition of confidence?

WE_ID · 2011-02-24T01:59:34+00:00

What is the best way for an AFC to start talking to random women? I don't have a problem talking to anyone except women; I have no idea what the problem is.

besteni · 2011-02-24T13:19:30+00:00

Been a fan ever since I heard you on Pickup Podcast with AJ and Jordan. You are an inspiration!

Obsidian743 · 2011-02-23T03:28:18+00:00

How much, in reality, does physical attractiveness matter when picking up women?.

Who has the best chance of getting laid by an HB9/HB10 (attractiveness and PUA skills from 1 - 10in parentheses):

Unattractive guy (3 or 4) with exceptional PUA skills (8 or 9)
Average looking guy (4 or 5) with good PUA skills (7 or 8)
Decent looking guy (5 or 6) with above average PUA skills (6 or 7)
Good looking guy (6 or 7) with average PUA skills (5 or 6)
Very good looking guy (7 or 8) with low PUA skills (4 or 5)
Super hot guy (9 or 10) with very low PUA skills (3 or 4)

Please elaborate on your thoughts.

meme4343 · 2011-02-23T03:34:40+00:00

Hey David. As a young man, I often find myself looking back on earlier years and thinking, "Man, I could have accomplished so much more if only I'd known what I know now." That kind of thinking is probably inevitable. Still, I'd like to hear how you deal with those thoughts and how you make sure you're always prepared for the future.

Title	David Wygant is Here in this thread to ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS! Q&A TIME!
Author	TofuTofu
Upvotes	254
Comments	244
Date	February 23, 2011 3:17 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fqr9j/david_wygant_is_here_in_this_thread_to_answer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/david-wygant-is-here-in-this-thread-to-answer-your.1315857 https://theredarchive.com/post/1315857

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