So the good looking guy in my friend group is a virgin but the obnoxious one who pees on cars gets laid all the time?

RandomBlokeFromMars · 2018-10-24T20:30:02+00:00

everyone can score. looking good is just the "easy mode". it just means girls will not approach you by themselves and instead YOU must approach them. not a tragedy.

it is a numbers game. the guy probably gets rejected a lot, but who cares, next. if you approach a lot, you will get laid eventually. and your experience grows, and after a while your intuition will tell you how to score with certain girls.

franc3sthemute · 2018-10-24T22:33:35+00:00

The difference is one will ask 100 girls for what he wants, 1 is going to say yes. The other is shy.

ImJustSo · 2018-10-24T20:31:23+00:00

Looks get you in the front door and that's it.

I've been fat and ugly and succeeded with women and failed with women.

I'm not fat anymore and called handsome daily, I still succeed and fail with women.

I'm better looking and better socially now, so I fail less.

And that's the entire fucking point of all this shit. You're never gonna fuck every girl you want. You just try to be the most attractive you, regardless of Pees on cars guy, regardless of handsome virgin, and regardless of some guy doing magic tricks in the club.

Become a better you, physically and mentally, and you will be more attractive to more people.

Giveit2giroud · 2018-10-24T15:51:55+00:00

90% of attractiveness is confidence.

iamtheswoop · 2018-10-24T16:55:11+00:00

Being physically attractive is merely your ticket to play the game at a higher level. Confidence is definitely important because when you have confidence you pass shit tests with ease, but the other thing is "always be escalating". If you're constantly touching and flirting and always be trying to close with a kiss or something more it's eventually going to happen if they are initially attracted to you.

I have a friend, she "broke up" with me about 2 months ago. But she keeps texting me and we keep hanging out. Every time we hang out I'm always escalating and we end up making out. After each time she always tells me, "we can't date so we probably shouldn't do that again". Then we'll hang out again and end up making out again, it's funny to watch her head spin.

MysticSpaceCroissant · 2018-10-24T22:13:39+00:00

He sounds like me (the attractive virgin) I have social anxiety, and I just don’t have the confidence to talk to women. It really goes to show that confidence is key. I plan on trying an approach tomorrow though so wish me luck!

AnonomousWolf · 2018-10-24T17:19:40+00:00

Girls don't like guys that look good. They like guys that know what they want.

That's why "Nice guys" don't get girls, because they are too nice, they say yes all they time, and don't take charge and go after what they want.

And that's why assholes get lots of girls, they don't let girls just walk over them and go after what they want even if it pisses people off.

You can be a nice guy but still make it clear to the girl that you know what you want and won't be anyone's puppy dog. And stand up for who you are.

makdaddy63 · 2018-10-24T21:50:38+00:00

I think this speaks more to women and what they respond to

muse933277 · 2018-10-24T20:28:40+00:00

You don't have to be super attractive to get girls. I know plenty of guys who arne't attractive in the conventional sense who have pretty girlfriends.

hunterpua · 2018-10-24T17:04:44+00:00

You know how there are bad boy techniques being taught to be more attractive? They were inspired by the sexual success of actual bad boys.

GomboAndGimlee · 2018-10-24T20:40:19+00:00

How do you know the guy isn't lying about his sexual exploits? Have you seen him take a girl into a bedroom or heard a girl confirm it?

Maybe he is telling the truth. Just wanted you to consider that without any evidence, he might be making things up.

AudiblePlasma · 2018-10-24T18:17:44+00:00

How old are you and your friends?

recyclablebanthas · 2018-10-25T03:07:57+00:00

1

So the good looking guy in my friend group is a virgin but the obnoxious one who pees on cars gets laid all the time?

Can anyone explain this to me?

Yeah. You think you're evaluating these guys based on how they're "attractive," but you're not. You're assuming it's about looks, when it's not. You already know this on at least some level, to be pointing out all the things you go on to point out in your post.

It would be like if there was this basketball club that thought basketball success was determined by the color of your socks. And if you wear the wrong sorts of colors, you were just going to underperform. Someone who checks off the actual boxes will come along and blow that theory out of the water, and everyone still clinging to it will be going, PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME HOW THIS THIS HAPPENING?!

2

In my friend group there is this really attractive guy that almost every woman compliments on his looks. I have even heard women talk about him in another room saying "Omg friend is so hot."

Yeah, this doesn't hurt, but it's not "game." I also had a friend like this, who got a LOT of comparisons to models and famous attractive actors.

3

The main problem is he is kinda awkward and quiet which women seem to really not like since he is still a virgin.

And like with your friend, the "attractive" friend who got complimented on his looks, was a virgin well into his 20s, because he was really awkward and had self-esteem issues. He had habits that shot himself down. He was basically so disbelieving of his own chances that he often kicked fish out of the boat, even when they were trying to jump in. I lost count of the times he accidentally rejected girls. Even girls he was actually interested in.

4

Well I have another friend who is objectively average or less than average looking. His teeth are crooked, he is overweight, and he just has no interesting features.

See, you aren't a girl looking for sex or a relationship, so your opinion doesn't really matter here. You aren't any sort of measure for what's "objectively average." The women hooking up with this guy, ARE.

You're going through a reality adjustment here, where you're realizing that your view on something doesn't match-up with what actually is. This stuff isn't magic. And what your friend is doing, isn't complicated.

5

Also his personality is playing video games for 100s of hours, peeing on people's cars at parties and shouting out memes in real life. He is the one who gets laid somehow in our friend group. He even somehow convinced a goody two shoes virgin to 69 him on their 3rd date.

His personality is more than what you just laid out here. Especially if he's doing all these things you mention. Confidence is definitely on display. Probably fun. Probably other things that you're basically overlooking in this summary of what you consider him to be about.

But his success stands in opposition to what you want to believe or what you have been believing up until now, so you've been too busy dismissing him to LEARN from him.

6

It makes no sense to me.

And it will never make sense until you reexamine your beliefs on this matter and discard the ones that are clearly false.

7

I guess it goes to show aura matters more than what you look like or even what you actually say.

Basically. Good summary!

8

But just objectively speaking this guy should not be getting laid this much. Maybe a relationship or two but the quantity of women he gets is a little ridiculous for who he is.

No. You're not speaking objectively. If you were actually talking about objective truths, and this guy wasn't meeting objective standards that were TRUE, then he wouldn't be getting laid.

We don't live in a magical fairy tale land. Your friend didn't make a deal with the devil. He isn't doing magic. He's not incredibly lucky.

He is, objectively speaking, doing things you have been dismissing or ignoring, which lead to results that should be absolutely NO surprise to you. But belief is a powerful thing and when people want to believe something, they'll ignore evidence to the contrary to guard that belief against reality.

9

>>.....it is a numbers game. the guy probably gets rejected a lot

It is not a numbers game unless your game is awful and you need to interact with more people as a result, just to get to people who will overlook the flaws in how you interact.

What is true for sure is not that he definitely gets rejected a lot, but that he has confidence enough to get somewhere. Only you, OP, could say whether or not he has to have a lot of interactions to get what he's getting.

phileo · 2018-10-25T14:58:07+00:00

It shows that extraversion wins in our society. I don't really like extraverted people since they are so exhausting. Seems like women like it, though.

2018-10-25T17:29:31+00:00

Looks get you into the door but don't close the deal

NoDoughThough · 2018-10-24T21:35:17+00:00

Its probably a southern area where the guy is a redneck and drives a big truck. He’s drunk all weekend every weekend but his lighted tires make up for it. He’s the closest thing to a “bad boy” that all the cute skinny girls can find. The attractive guy is well mannered and put-together. He would thrive in a classier area if he had just a little more money to flaunt. But the current girls he’s with aren’t interested in that. They want a simple, middle class family- to go to a local college, to hit the lake on the weekends, to sit by bonfires in the winter. He’s simply too refined to provide that.

zhantoo · 2018-10-24T22:36:30+00:00

Confidence. Also, people tend to try to please those who do not give them approval the most - Aka they will try to convince the "bad boy" to not be bad to them.

Offroad_Bandit_01 · 2018-10-25T00:29:40+00:00

Because women make bad choices up until they get knocked up and left.

Then they suddenly seek out the thirsty nice guys to foot the bill for someone else's offspring.

bilabrin · 2018-10-24T21:31:52+00:00

He's comfortable in his own skin and doesn't put on airs or get nervous. He just does what he does an it comes off as obviously genuine. Selling genuine passion and realness is effortless.

You can impress a woman by talking sincerely and passionately about how awesome your star wars figure collection is as long as you really believe it and believe they should believe it too.

It ties into the concept of "leading."

2018-10-24T22:27:22+00:00

You sorta answered your own question. Would you wanna fuck the quiet and “kinda awkward” guy or the dude that doesn’t really care what anyone else thinks about him and spends his time doing what he wants?

I was sorta put off by the video game comment too plenty of gamers have game just an FYI.

What women tell me is that I’m “not like the other guys” and I honestly can’t pin point it. It’s not because I’m quiet and kinda awkward though.

Honestly it sounds like your friend doesn’t give a fuck and honestly that’s the first step with women. Not giving a fuck about whether they will or will not fuck you... there will always be another woman that will.

RustyKovichko · 2018-10-24T23:39:38+00:00

Because women are dumb

AtmaWeap0n · 2018-10-25T08:57:14+00:00

Because we, as men, put value on women based primarily on their looks. But women put value on men based on very different criteria. Women go for men who have power, money, charisma, etc. because those are things that correlate with dominant alpha males.

Your good looking and socially awkward friend, despite having the looks is obviously not an alpha male. That's because looks aren't integral to what makes an alpha male. Your average looking friend, despite being chubby and ordinary looking, probably doesnt give a fuck what other people think, is confident in himself regardless of whatever his life situation may be, and has some sort of magnetism with people, however stupid it may seem. Those are the real definitions of being an alpha male, which females pick up on intuitively.

cory4crz · 2018-10-24T19:29:13+00:00

Hiii

livingtribunal99 · 2018-10-24T19:38:10+00:00

Just read the title and the crazy friend sounds more fun, imagine it from a girls perspective

livingtribunal99 · 2018-10-24T19:38:38+00:00

Just read the title and the crazy friend sounds more fun, imagine it from a girls perspective

inspiredshane · 2018-10-24T19:40:37+00:00

What I’m hearing is that one guy is awkward, afraid of rejection, probably wants a fairytale ending, and uncomfortable being sexual. The other guy is fun, fearless, wants to fuck, and unapologetic about that fact.

Even if the first guy could pull a hotter woman if all other things were equal, all other things aren’t equal. Their value is subjective to the woman in question, within a range of typical expected variance.

So, more women have sex with the guy who’s unashamed of being sexual because being sexual with him doesn’t make them feel ashamed.

Ever try having sex when you’re ashamed of sex? It requires almost all the work to be done by someone else. It’s also usually happening in a BDSM club. It’s fucking tricky.

Guy #1 likely masturbates a lot, and it’s killing his sex drive, and crippling him with low self confidence and social anxiety. If he’s more fit, his testosterone would naturally be higher than guy #2’s (again, all other things being equal).

Imagine two girls are into you. One is hot, but awkward, afraid of rejection, wants to marry instantly, and is ashamed of her sexuality.

The other girl is slightly less hot, but still fuckable, and is fun, fearless, down to fuck, and throwing the vibes at you unapologetically.

Which girl would you rather spend the evening with?

I’m genuinely interested actually, so please let me know.

inspiredshane · 2018-10-24T19:40:46+00:00

What I’m hearing is that one guy is awkward, afraid of rejection, probably wants a fairytale ending, and uncomfortable being sexual. The other guy is fun, fearless, wants to fuck, and unapologetic about that fact.

Even if the first guy could pull a hotter woman if all other things were equal, all other things aren’t equal. Their value is subjective to the woman in question, within a range of typical expected variance.

So, more women have sex with the guy who’s unashamed of being sexual because being sexual with him doesn’t make them feel ashamed.

Ever try having sex when you’re ashamed of sex? It requires almost all the work to be done by someone else. It’s also usually happening in a BDSM club. It’s fucking tricky.

Guy #1 likely masturbates a lot, and it’s killing his sex drive, and crippling him with low self confidence and social anxiety. If he’s more fit, his testosterone would naturally be higher than guy #2’s (again, all other things being equal).

Imagine two girls are into you. One is hot, but awkward, afraid of rejection, wants to marry instantly, and is ashamed of her sexuality.

The other girl is slightly less hot, but still fuckable, and is fun, fearless, down to fuck, and throwing the vibes at you unapologetically.

Which girl would you rather spend the evening with?

I’m genuinely interested actually, so please let me know.

2018-10-24T19:43:40+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/p/BpUxlOiA7_R/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1xi076geb59fh Kind of unrelated to the topic but this will give you an idea to relate to

mikedamike · 2018-10-24T19:46:23+00:00

Just shows you how much more important taking action is than having good looks.

mikedamike · 2018-10-24T19:46:27+00:00

Just shows you how much more important taking action is than having good looks.

2018-10-24T19:46:28+00:00

it's a bitch to understand because we can never experience being a girl, but women aren't solely attracted to looks like we are

2018-10-24T19:47:17+00:00

So in this case what can the attractive guy do to get laid?...

2018-10-24T19:47:28+00:00

So in this case what can the attractive guy do to get laid?...

2018-10-24T19:47:39+00:00

So in this case what can the attractive guy do to get laid?...

mikedamike · 2018-10-24T19:47:41+00:00

Just shows you how much more important taking action is than working on looking good. This is the real world, not a tv show.

skipsfaster · 2018-10-24T19:47:49+00:00

Yeah...welcome to girls. Having a good personality is not necessarily a good personality for getting laid.

mikedamike · 2018-10-24T19:47:55+00:00

Just shows you how much more important taking action is than working on looking good. This is the real world, not a tv show.

skipsfaster · 2018-10-24T19:48:09+00:00

Yeah...welcome to girls. Having a good personality is not necessarily a good personality for getting laid.

GomboAndGimlee · 2018-10-24T19:51:04+00:00

How do you know the guy isn't lying about his sexual exploits? Have you seen him take a girl into a bedroom or heard a girl confirm it?

Maybe he is telling the truth. Just wanted you to consider that without any evidence, he might be making things up.

GomboAndGimlee · 2018-10-24T19:51:11+00:00

How do you know the guy isn't lying about his sexual exploits? Have you seen him take a girl into a bedroom or heard a girl confirm it?

Maybe he is telling the truth. Just wanted you to consider that without any evidence, he might be making things up.

GomboAndGimlee · 2018-10-24T19:51:24+00:00

How do you know the guy isn't lying about his sexual exploits? Have you seen him take a girl into a bedroom or heard a girl confirm it?

Maybe he is telling the truth. Just wanted you to consider that without any evidence, he might be making things up.

GomboAndGimlee · 2018-10-24T19:51:33+00:00

How do you know the guy isn't lying about his sexual exploits? Have you seen him take a girl into a bedroom or heard a girl confirm it?

Maybe he is telling the truth. Just wanted you to consider that without any evidence, he might be making things up.

GomboAndGimlee · 2018-10-24T19:51:51+00:00

How do you know the guy isn't lying about his sexual exploits? Have you seen him take a girl into a bedroom or heard a girl confirm it?

Maybe he is telling the truth. Just wanted you to consider that without any evidence, he might be making things up.

GomboAndGimlee · 2018-10-24T19:52:16+00:00

How do you know the guy isn't lying about his sexual exploits? Have you seen him take a girl into a bedroom or heard a girl confirm it?

Maybe he is telling the truth. Just wanted you to consider that without any evidence, he might be making things up.

NiceReporter · 2018-10-24T19:52:23+00:00

If there's anything I've learned from years of going out and observing, its that confidence is 95% of it. I'm not even going to say personality is a huge factor because as you see with your video game playing, car peeing friend, it isn't his personality, but his confidence. I've always been on the more shy and reserved side and it works against me GREATLY. My looks don't matter. My hobbies and passions and motivations don't matter. What's going to attract a woman is your confidence. But that doesn't mean you can't use those things as confidence builders. It's all about how you feel about yourself. So work out at the gym, continue developing yourself and hobbies. Those things alone don't get the girl, but how it makes you feel about yourself will.

NiceReporter · 2018-10-24T19:52:43+00:00

If there's anything I've learned from years of going out and observing, its that confidence is 95% of it. I'm not even going to say personality is a huge factor because as you see with your video game playing, car peeing friend, it isn't his personality, but his confidence. I've always been on the more shy and reserved side and it works against me GREATLY. My looks don't matter. My hobbies and passions and motivations don't matter. What's going to attract a woman is your confidence. But that doesn't mean you can't use those things as confidence builders. It's all about how you feel about yourself. So work out at the gym, continue developing yourself and hobbies. Those things alone don't get the girl, but how it makes you feel about yourself will.

NiceReporter · 2018-10-24T19:52:52+00:00

If there's anything I've learned from years of going out and observing, its that confidence is 95% of it. I'm not even going to say personality is a huge factor because as you see with your video game playing, car peeing friend, it isn't his personality, but his confidence. I've always been on the more shy and reserved side and it works against me GREATLY. My looks don't matter. My hobbies and passions and motivations don't matter. What's going to attract a woman is your confidence. But that doesn't mean you can't use those things as confidence builders. It's all about how you feel about yourself. So work out at the gym, continue developing yourself and hobbies. Those things alone don't get the girl, but how it makes you feel about yourself will.

NiceReporter · 2018-10-24T19:52:57+00:00

If there's anything I've learned from years of going out and observing, its that confidence is 95% of it. I'm not even going to say personality is a huge factor because as you see with your video game playing, car peeing friend, it isn't his personality, but his confidence. I've always been on the more shy and reserved side and it works against me GREATLY. My looks don't matter. My hobbies and passions and motivations don't matter. What's going to attract a woman is your confidence. But that doesn't mean you can't use those things as confidence builders. It's all about how you feel about yourself. So work out at the gym, continue developing yourself and hobbies. Those things alone don't get the girl, but how it makes you feel about yourself will.

GomboAndGimlee · 2018-10-24T19:54:08+00:00

How do you know the guy isn't lying about his sexual exploits? Have you seen him take a girl into a bedroom or heard a girl confirm it?

Maybe he is telling the truth. Just wanted you to consider that without any evidence, he might be making things up.

Ikuyas · 2018-10-24T19:58:35+00:00

Does he have a job? What do YOU think makes him somehow attractive or getting laid? Any clues?

GomboAndGimlee · 2018-10-24T19:59:24+00:00

How do you know the guy isn't lying about his sexual exploits? Have you seen him take a girl into a bedroom or heard a girl confirm it?

Maybe he is telling the truth. Just wanted you to consider that without any evidence, he might be making things up.

GomboAndGimlee · 2018-10-24T20:00:27+00:00

How do you know the guy isn't lying about his sexual exploits? Have you seen him take a girl into a bedroom or heard a girl confirm it?

Maybe he is telling the truth. Just wanted you to consider that without any evidence, he might be making things up.

2018-10-24T20:23:07+00:00

So what can the attractive guy do to get laid?!

Fallingbe · 2018-10-25T00:12:45+00:00

Would you call the guy who plays games interesting? Is he fun? Talkative? You say his personality is playing games but surely there’s more to it.

Maybe it’s how confidently he admits to just playing games. Main question tho, is he fun and interesting?

poopfeast180 · 2018-10-25T01:09:40+00:00

pees on cars

He's a liar.

Fwest3975 · 2018-10-25T01:24:33+00:00

I’d say the virgin isn’t very centered in his confidence. The other guy seems to be centered and doesn’t give a fuck.

wont_give_no_kreddit · 2018-10-25T02:14:02+00:00

The thing about your friend with the jacked teeth is, he’ll bang any girl, he’s about quantity, not quality.... in total honesty, I can’t even get aroused if I’m not attracted....

ethical_pa · 2018-10-25T02:34:13+00:00

"Objectively speaking" is the wrong way to look at it. Instead, look at it from the point of view of the girl: He's fun, care free, won't judge me. He gives me good emotions. I can be free around him. Etc.

rowansims · 2018-10-25T03:06:10+00:00

Let me guess, you think the ugly one is winning at life because he gets laid? Come back to me in 10 years and tell me which one of these guys is happy.

Cevar7 · 2018-10-25T03:43:11+00:00

Because the shy guy never flirts with the girls so he doesn’t put himself in a situation for something to happen

themanbat · 2018-10-25T04:34:33+00:00

Women aren't like us. Being attractive is a plus, but it's only one of a number of factors. Being timid can definitely remove all bonus points that being handsome gets you. Generally confidence can trump all.

2018-10-25T04:45:18+00:00

Funniest post in this sub for a long time

2018-10-25T06:27:00+00:00

right place right time, lying, or just doesnt give a fuck.

one, some, or all of the above.

55redditor55 · 2018-10-25T07:53:46+00:00

Sounds like OP has a soft crush on his friends 🤭

sonhvo · 2018-10-30T05:33:58+00:00

Your attractive friend doesn’t sound like he holds his frame well or leads.

Women typically want to go on an adventure, a ride, to step into a man’s world. This is why many of them have fantasies of being swept off their feet by some bad boy on a motorcycle (in exaggerating a little). This plays into the masculinity and femininity of a relationship, which exists whether it’s hetero or homo. The feminine energy is caring, understanding, and nurturing (think of an archetypical ideal girl/mother). Masculine energy is focused, assertive, and confident (a good comparison is Brad Pitt in Troy). These two polarities compliment one another.

It sounds like your obnoxious friend has a good leading frame and freely expresses his masculinity. He isn’t afraid to be loud and obnoxious, intriguing women and getting them hooked into his frame.

If your attractive friend carries himself more confidently, expresses himself more openly and assertively about what he wants, and leads within his frame, doing what he wants because he wants to not because of how women or others think, he will be more successful with women too.

Luffydude · 2018-10-25T00:56:34+00:00

Newsflash that this sub uses as an excuse: looks don't actually matter

LionVenom10 · 2018-10-25T09:33:34+00:00

I feel like you’re hating on the other guy...

Title	So the good looking guy in my friend group is a virgin but the obnoxious one who pees on cars gets laid all the time?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	349
Comments	224
Date	October 24, 2018 3:49 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9r0u9h/so_the_good_looking_guy_in_my_friend_group_is_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-the-good-looking-guy-in-my-friend-group-is-a.1455514 https://theredarchive.com/post/1455514

Comments