Masculine v. Effeminate men

tektools · 2020-04-08T10:20:48+00:00

I think every man needs to develop his masculine and feminine sides. If you're total Bluto and can't relate to girls you'll come off as a meat-head. And if you spew poetry from the heart to match her every emotion, well she's gonna think you're a softy.

It's good to use the right does of masc/fem to match the situation.

GlobalArachnid · 2020-04-08T16:45:11+00:00

Masculine men and Effeminate men who are successful with women have the exact same Masculine core to their energy.

Prince was cunning, ambitious and a little bit dangerous. He was a go-getter who did what he wanted and let women fall into his frame. Now take someone like Conor McGregor. Again, he's cunning, ambitious and a little bit dangerous. He's a go-getter who does what he wants and lets women fall into his frame.

Prince and Conor McGregor have the same masculine energy to them. They dress themselves up in completely different ways, but they both have the exact same masculine energy that women love. Some women like more effeminate guys. And by effeminate guys, I mean guys who are fickle about fashion and are a little bit dramatic and mopey, but they're peacocking and being drama queens in a way that's undeniable masculine, if that makes sense.

Effeminate men who are successful with women combine as many of the characteristics of attractive women as they can (thin body, fashionable, emotionally manipulative) without sacrificing their masculinity in any way to make women relate to them more all the while being undeniably masculine at the same time. They don't sacrifice their social power, career ambitions and their willingness to kill a person if they absolutely have to.

shesabeautybabe · 2020-04-08T10:18:47+00:00

Most “soft” guys are intuitive with their emotions which is great, but sadly that also means they need just as much coddling as you do. “Macho” men are basically hotheaded Neanderthals that have the emotion of a tin can

chuckvsthelife · 2020-04-08T13:34:35+00:00

I think for guys.... we just need to work on being true to ourselves and care less about the “masculinity” and “femininity” we have (these are by and large social constructs).

Yeah like maybe there is some middle that attracts the most women, but it’s not about getting the most women it’s about getting the women who are most attracted to you and the only way to do that is to be your best self.

A woman can be a 10 to me physically and open her mouth and spew vacuous bullshit and I’d be completely uninterested. There is some degree of situational awareness to be learned but prince owned his shit and that was attractive. Own your shit, own being yourself.

verticaluzi · 2020-04-08T10:26:19+00:00

What resources are available to help me develop my masculine side?

shinn497 · 2020-04-08T13:58:37+00:00

I'm pretty masculine and I've noticed a general lack of attraction the less I talk. Which sucks since I like to talk. Women like me a whole lot more than they like a lot of men, but the same way they like a pet or a little brother. It is what it is. I wish I could just be stoic and talk less, but its super hard.

Radicalmattitude1 · 2020-04-08T15:54:12+00:00

Many seduction theories talk about integrating masculine and feminine qualities in your character. David Deida has a great framework in his book, Way of the superior man. Robert Greene talks about effeminate men being seduction artists in his book The Art of Seduction.

Real world examples of this are people like Russell Brand ( watch the way women respond to him on stage or in interviews), Michael Jackson - some women would literally pass out when they saw him.

watchtheworldsmolder · 2020-04-08T09:14:47+00:00

Donald Duck

MinCad · 2020-04-08T13:21:56+00:00

Masculinity, depending on how you look at it, simply boils down to 4 primary qualities.

Strength Courage Mastery Honor

These are all functional, positive traits which when practically applied are beneficial to the group. Guys who are seriously deficient in one or more of these traits typically draw suspicion or even scorn from other men.

Developing these attributes will make you seem more manly and hence more attractive to most women.

Masculine men generally attract and date hotter (i.e., more feminine) women.

While it's good to have a bit of balance and be in touch with your feminine side, you'll be better served by developing and strengthening your masculinity.

bonix · 2020-04-08T14:05:52+00:00

I definitely consider myself an effeminate man and while single it was rather fun and easy to interact with girls, especially at clubs. I could strike up conversations with them that caught them off guard, complimenting their outfit and their look in ways no other guy in the club was doing and they always reacted positively. I'd get numbers left and right. Even pulling attention from macho guys that were trying their standard lines. It was fun times.

Polaru21 · 2020-04-08T14:24:01+00:00

I m a big, fat man and bearded. Being fat, I can understand the big thighs problems girls have and related to girls and they were surprised a guy understood the pain of HAVING TO BUY JEANS EVERY MONTH. Until the 5th grade I only had mostly girl friends cuz they didn t bully me cuz I was fat. Then from 6th grade I found my best male buddy and became more "masculine". Now I am in touch with my feelings AND act like a real "man". For short, I m the father of my groups and the best gay boyfriend/SO for girls. I love it.

theosamabahama · 2020-04-08T11:47:57+00:00

As a bisexual man, the only experience I have with this is that some men (gay and bisexual) prefer masculine men, others prefer effeminate men and some don't have any preference.

I have a delicate body and face, but I don't have an effeminate vibe. And I don't like effeminate men either.

Braziliandownright · 2020-04-08T11:30:31+00:00

I have the perfect combination: very masculine and sweet man

purpplekite920 · 2020-04-08T13:54:38+00:00

It’s all about the integration of the masculine (assertiveness, agency) and the feminine ( receptivitiy, communalism)- this is evolution. An evolved man will be the best match for an evolved woman, someone who has also integrated and developed both the masculine and feminine in herself.

Morpheus987 · 2020-04-08T12:31:22+00:00

I just loled at the example of Prince.

PotatoSquisher · 2020-04-08T11:00:27+00:00

A guy here, I have firsthand expertise with "soft" men as I am one. I have watched so many men treat women like objects in bars that I hang out in. I don’t personally understand it, but the women seem to accept it, so it’s their choice in my opinion.

Being a “soft” guy is not wrong, yes I have feelings, yes I cry in movies or when I hurt, and yes I don’t treat women like objects. Nothing wrong with that, again in my opinion. Now, however I will be the “macho” man, and be the Neanderthal who beats the shit out of someone, when threatened or if someone I love is threatened. I just choose not to be that on a daily basis.

I have a girlfriend now who has a young child, she has said many times that I am different, and she likes it as she has had to many of the “macho” men before in her life. I like to hold her and be held, I am a tender lover, and she has seen me in a mad state and has no fear that I wouldn’t, or couldn’t, protect them both. I tried most of my life to hide my soft side, but I don't anymore as it is who I am, so why hide it.

Some ladies I have met over the years like who I am, and some don’t. Well, most don’t. Which makes me very happy to have found a lady in my life now that accepts me for who I am, and I have no doubt that she truly loves me.

nickvnick · 2020-04-08T11:23:38+00:00

People respect masculine men more.

As much as the betas and women on this sub like to denigrate masculine men, none do so their faces.

When women arent complaining about macho assholes online, they are fucking them in real life

haddonhopkins8 · 2020-04-08T09:58:19+00:00

This video talks about exactly what u want to know. https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ

TishthaDish · 2020-04-08T16:03:20+00:00

I am flexible, however, which side he shows me I tend to take the opposite. I am very feminine with Alpha and very much a leader with Beta. I don’t really have a preference.

kalifo_yt · 2020-04-08T17:28:16+00:00

i’m ducking lonely

DrinkerOfWater69 · 2020-04-08T20:24:21+00:00

Honestly, as a guy, Effeminate men are actually attractive to me. Guess its the looks and the courage they have to express that side of themselves that I find attractive...

Dudz_k · 2020-04-08T12:17:21+00:00

I'm lucky that I have the perfect balance of both.

You want to be able to physically attract a girl with your masculine traits. My girlfriend loves my muscles, body hair, and deep voice. And around my friends, I act more like an alpha male.

But, I still have an effeminate side that drives girls crazy thet they almost never see in other guys.

I like to dress effemintate. I love skinny jeans and tight v-necks. I have a great sense of style in general. My girlfriend loves how I protect her, but she likes that I'm gentle and tender at the same time.

As long as you're straight, there's nothing wrong with being a little effeminate, you don't wanna be a total meat head.

kyutie23 · 2020-04-08T16:54:59+00:00

From my experience you always start out with the more masculine and as the relationship develops and those initial layers melt away you open up your feminine side. It's definitely a spectrum that shifts and have to constantly readjust depending on who you're talking to

Edit: I guess females are the opposite.. more feminine at first (lots of makeup) and then turn more masculine (less makeup and more burps)

LoveNotH86 · 2020-04-08T14:33:16+00:00

I think the issue here is the stereotype of what masculine means to most people. To me masculine isn’t just the alpha male, meat head, player type.

A_Wackertack · 2020-04-08T20:11:42+00:00

Prince got all the ladies and he was effeminate.

That's all I have to say, stop being macho you normie.

PiperBigBell · 2020-04-08T20:35:20+00:00

God this sub has gone to hell.

LakersAreTerrible25 · 2020-04-08T22:10:27+00:00

From my experience, it's better to stay in your masculine and be a mystery to women. Even so much as arguing with a woman for any reason and portraying feminine energy WILL reduce a woman's interest bigtime. Doesnt matter if she's only been with 1 dude or 100, it's female nature. The reason for this is simply due to how she'll start exhibiting masculine energy, in order to match the feminine energy being demonstrated. I found staying in my masculine causes women I date to become obsessed with me and chase my validation. That's why you wanna minimize complimenting a woman, since that gives her validation and the ability to move on to the next guy

2020-04-08T23:06:19+00:00

I have seen the difference, but one can never generalize what happens. Everyone I’ve met is a different person. Douchebags are douchebags but you can see none of them alike same with nice guys. In some overly masculine guys, I can see the discomfort in some girls in contrast to admiration in other girls. While for nice guys I do agree that they’re less sought after but in the end its really up to who we choose to pursue.

smoothmax · 2020-04-09T00:24:38+00:00

Some of the best materials I've seen on this question from a PUA perspective are by Jonathan Manwhore. Such as his lectures at 21 Conventions on YT. He emphasizes emotional strength and unreactiveness as being essential masculine traits for attracting women and for success in all aspects of life.

arachnid_nope · 2020-04-09T02:47:29+00:00

I'm just gonna say it: I like an effeminate guy.

There are few things less attractive to me than fragile masculinity, and someone who doesn't know how to communicate / can't express their feelings. A great example of this personality is Red on that 70's show. He's successful in his love/personal life, but his macho-ness makes communication difficult, and he projects that onto his son. I find him downright unlikable

I'm much more drawn to someone like Prince. Confidant, but not arrogant, and his confidence won't change based on what someone else says. He's not a guy's guy, but I tell you he's a whole lot sexier than every guy's guy I've ever met

theatom88 · 2020-04-09T10:02:10+00:00

Always good to switch. Tailor to your audience. Keep them guessing. Stay intriguing.

StanDando · 2020-04-09T23:00:27+00:00

(Man here) To give as straight and simple an answer as possible:

Yes. Metrosexuals talk like theyre gay, and use sarcasm. They also try to turn the room against the competition in the room,behind their backs. And tend to be more concerned with getting the girl drunk. They also use what I call 'Sim Game' a lot.

Real men actually tend to be more genuine, funny, cheeky and fun. Or, theyre quiet, shy and overthink.

jameskelley207 · 2020-04-10T16:57:12+00:00

Didn’t I tell you to fuck off? ...look bro I know all this sounds awful, You literally spent the first half of your interaction with me not giving any sound advise, but being a douche it’s bordering on pedestrian (seriously, sjw?). Quoting me and just putting lol. If that’s what you call “help” you’ve got serious growth of your own to work on.

Lol.

mattsgotstylebaby · 2020-04-14T07:24:11+00:00

I’m straight as fuck and I little bit anti gay from a drop the soap type a deal in the past.

But I’m probably like 60% femine over 40% masculine. I like masculine women.

radrax · 2020-04-08T19:24:20+00:00

This is totally a personal preference but I love effeminate men and pretty boys. Machismo is a turn off for me, maybe because its really big in my family's culture and thats what I grew up around.

everloser · 2020-04-08T13:57:28+00:00

Be a man. Men are created to be men. As long as you do what men do, girls come back of you. Because women is created for men. Do list is simple just do what men do. And dont forget a conquerer doesnt pass his life in harem but on the battlefield.

nickvnick · 2020-04-08T20:31:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MrMemper · 2020-04-08T13:18:54+00:00

Why are you asking? This is a clear answer. But maybe it isn’t to you. Or maybe you’re just bored in quarantine.

It’s like saying how do you feel when approached by a tiger vs being approached by a house cat.

You might think: duh, that’s obvious the person would feel a great deal of fear and panic when approached by a tiger and may not feel anything at all when approached by a house cat.

Do you see where I’m going with this young man?

It’s not about what the feeling is. The point is feeling itself. The tiger evokes a high emotional response while the house cat might get a glance or a kind smile if it’s lucky or an “oh how cute”.

That’s the difference kiddo

Smileyface8156 · 2020-04-08T14:06:04+00:00

I'm probably gonna get downvoted to oblivion for this. But here goes.

Being feminine, as a man. Or having a "well developed feminine side" is not a good thing. Women are attracted to masculine men. If "being in touch with your feminine side" was attractive to women, betas would be drowning in pus. Those guys take pride in being more feminine than any of "those chads"

You are a man, focus on being a man. You do not need a "feminine side", that's what evolution made women for.

Masculinity is what gets the girls, not femininity. You're not dating lesbians. Femininity just makes you her orbiter, or her "gay best friend"

A masculine man is consistent with his own code of honor, is assertive, and is the driving force in his own life. He doesn't need to open up his heart to any woman who will listen to show how in touch with the feminine he is.

Masculine v. Effeminate men

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Title	Masculine v. Effeminate men
Author	Andrew__IE
Upvotes	340
Comments	236
Date	April 8, 2020 7:57 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fx2cks/masculine_v_effeminate_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/masculine-v-effeminate-men.1493658 https://theredarchive.com/post/1493658