What are the ideal traits of a partner

Downtown_Cat_1173 · 2024-07-07T21:48:03+00:00

A brilliant mind, a sense of humor, compassion, and liberal politics

HappyCat79 · 2024-07-07T22:05:23+00:00

Physical attractiveness for me is someone who is relatively fit. I don’t need a body builder, but someone who takes care of their body and their health is important to me. Nice smile, again, I don’t need perfect teeth or bleached white, but teeth that are cared for and intact is important to me. My ex had horrible oral hygiene and it was disgusting to me. I don’t like long beards and prefer a clean shaven face, which is what my boyfriend has. I also like tattoos but not too many and not on the neck or face.

Now, aside from the physical attraction, there are personality attributes that are very important to me. High sex drive is very important to me because I love sex and want it a lot. I require someone who is secure and not jealous or controlling. I require someone who is good at expressing his emotions and is comfortable being emotionally vulnerable with me. I need to be emotionally vulnerable with my partner as well, and I don’t feel safe unless we can be vulnerable with one another. That is how you build intimacy with a partner. I need someone who is respectful and can work through conflicts without being toxic. I need someone who is straight forward and doesn’t play head games.

I have that in my partner. He is everything I ever wanted and more. I don’t care about money or anything like that, but he’s an educated professional. He’s incredibly handsome. He shares my taste in music and food. We are on the same wavelength and I love it!

EulenWatcher · 2024-07-07T16:01:25+00:00

I'm a really bad sample for this question, because so far I've had only 3 crushes and I don't think it'll change in the future.

Emotional connection. I cannot feel any kind of romantic or sexual attraction if we don't know each other and there's no the sense of...being connected. Basically all the people I've fallen for first shared something vulnerable with me.
Smell. I should find their smell appealing.
Compatibility. Compatible values, plans on the future, lifestyle etc. I.e. I'm liberal and egalitarian, so I wouldn't date a conservative seeking a traditional relationship.
Educated and well-read. I want my partner to get my allusions and be able to talk about literature or myths with me.
I like Asian features, but at least one of my crushes wasn't Asian. Although, she was also a woman.
Being a mature adult who can take of themselves and others.
Good emotional intelligence and communication skills. I do not play hot and cold games nor I do any mind reading.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-07-07T16:29:26+00:00

Dark hair, dark eyes, bright smile, white or South Asian or mixed, healthy weight but not muscular, nice bum, a little shorter than me. Doesn't work unsocial hours and probably not full time either, does his share around the house, income not an issue. Likes to try new things and travel, a good cook, has at least a couple more overlapping interests we can do together as well as some that are completely different. On the quieter side but has friends of his own and likes social events. Isn't any kind of extremist or bigot, feminist or feminist ally, tolerant of differing non-extreme political views, sees terrorists as terrorists. Wants to learn about NI and my culture, respects and gets along with my family, has the same expectations regarding how we treat each other's family. Kind, caring, calm, nurturing, trusting, mature, honest, loyal, emotionally open, romantic, optimistic, organised, gentle, intelligent, funny. In the bedroom - submissive, willing to explore, generous, overlapping kinks.

volleyballbeach · 2024-07-08T02:37:41+00:00

Needs, not in order:

Integrity

Fit, particularly stronger than me

Likes outdoor activities

Kind

Strongly believes in equality

Hard working

Desire for a life long marriage and willing to put in the work to build and maintain a healthy, supportive relationship

Goal driven, and supportive of my goals

Prefers to have sex at least 3-4 times per week

Tolerant of periods of long distance (I travel a lot for work)

Frugal / lives within his (and eventually our) means

At least 5’5”

Likes cuddling

Wants (non deal breakers) also not in any order:

Debt free

At least 5’7”

Big arms

Likes to have sex every night we are together

Makes me laugh

Friendly

Pushes me out of my comfort zone

Handy (good at fixing vehicles, plumbing, welding, building things, etc)

Likes hiking, multi day backpacking trips

Good with animals

egalitarian-flan · 2024-07-07T16:05:08+00:00

Physical = around my height, white or Asian, clear skin, pleasant body odor/"pheromones", silky or fluffy hair, well-groomed nails and hands, thicc belly and thighs, no facial hair, little body hair.

Emotional = feels safe showing his emotions and being honest with me about his desires, goals, fears, etc. Is empathetic towards me as well as others, volunteers his time to those less fortunate like I do. No dark triad traits.

Mental = is at my educational and/or intellectual level, enjoys in depth discussions about a large amount of topics, thinks taking a hike while solving puzzles/riddles together is fun, likes to read and keep learning.

Sexual = is adventurous, open-minded, enthusiastic, likes using toys, and is interested in having sex a minimum of 3 times every week, though hopefully more like 5 or 6.

Occupational = has a job he at least somewhat enjoys

Edit: what's with the downvote? At least say what your issue is so it can be discussed 🙄

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-07-07T16:36:45+00:00

Athletic, 5'8--5'9, conventionally attractive, straight white teeth, neatly groomed, very hygienic, educated, intelligent, emotionally stable, self aware, great social skills, protective of his family, loves kids, confident, compassionate, driven, longer dreads, tattoos, and black.

Siukslinis_acc · 2024-07-07T17:53:29+00:00

Compatability, chillness, confidence, not depending on me for all of their stuff, having a life outside of me.

leosandlattes · 2024-07-07T23:12:24+00:00

Chestnut to brown-black hair, 5’5 to 5’9 tall, slim body, an easy smile, a sense of style without being overly primped, nice cologne, and prominent vasculature in the arms (lol).

Family-oriented, a good relationship with his own family, comes from a good background like no criminal activity and has a decent and respectable career. He’s ambitious, decisive, intelligent and college educated (though the last one is not a hard preference and can be forgone given the other factors are met).

And finally, ideally he loves banter and has a slightly unhinged sense of humor. He’s sweet and caring, just as affectionate as I am, and aligned in life goals. And he should be willing to learn a little bit about my culture if he’s not from my ethnic/cultural background.

Also someone who likes to eat healthy. Whole, nutritious food; not a bunch of junk food or frozen/box meals. And they need to be adventurous with food! Picky eaters would definitely not mesh with me.

AngeCruelle · 2024-07-07T16:29:09+00:00

Gorgeous head of brown hair, brown eyes, intelligence, understanding the importance of family, eagerness to please

FlameGoats · 2024-07-07T16:06:03+00:00

Taller than 5'6 and physically strong
Confident without putting people down
Adventurous
Not broke
Good with kids
Good with animals
Funny
Passionate and intelligent about whatever topic interests him
Able to notice the little things
Religious
Conservative

PsychoticNurse · 2024-07-07T19:59:02+00:00

His personality first--but not only in the way he treats me. I also look at the way he treats others, such as women who aren't conventionally attractive, or people who cannot do anything for him, or disabled/elderly. I look for men who do not insult people for their outward appearance or life circumstances that are beyond their control. He should be humble and kind, but not afraid to defend himself (verbally, not physically). I don't want a pushover man. I also look at how he handles his emotions. I want a man who expresses them, but in an appropriate manner. Men who fly off the handle over every little thing, or are insulted easily, are not attractive to me.

Then I look at other things. I'm 5'4", so he should be taller than me, have facial hair, take care of himself (clean, smells good). Idc about looks too much, and Idc if he's overweight (but not obese). You can lose weight, but you can't change your personality. He must be conservative and have the same morals/ethics as me. He should have a great work ethic, and be driven/motivated at work.

And this is very important to me: a man who can accept fault and apologize when he's wrong. A man who can take feedback from me without becoming defensive. A man who can use his words, and talk to me about something I'm doing that's bothering him.

Struckbyfire · 2024-07-07T15:58:32+00:00

Confidence (while still being humble), integrity, a good sense of humor and they’re compassionate while maintaining their boundaries. I love physical touch and vulnerability.

It’s also exactly what I’m into with women.

Sexually they’re either firm and confident in bed or completely submit to me and aren’t ashamed of being submissive (I’m a bit of a switch).

And there needs to be physical attraction. I like masculine appearing men, and feminine women. It’s really hot for me to have a hot, muscle daddy submit to me.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-07-07T16:18:08+00:00

Looks - blonde, blue-eyed, around my height.

Personality - kind, funny, open to trying out new things, laid back, confident in who he is as a person. Likes cats.

avocado-afficionado · 2024-07-07T16:35:20+00:00

I have a thing for highly intelligent men, like ADHD levels of hyperfixation for some reason. At least 3-4 inches taller than me (I’m 5’3), brown haired, high empathy and a little bit adventurous but that doesn’t mean hyper-extroverted. Dated an extrovert for 1.5 years and never again.

Don’t really care about income, but he has to work any stable job and be consistently hard working.

Bonus points if he plays music, but not necessary

Funstands4Funger · 2024-07-08T06:36:36+00:00

Physical traits I like: black hair, generally masculine traits like visible muscles in arms and strength to match, deep voice, and stylish.

Other traits I like: integrity, intelligence, calm, gentlemanly, an overall good and responsible person.

holyskillet · 2024-07-09T01:09:37+00:00

cute, high intelligence and something like emotional independence. I can't respect men who depend on approval of other men.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2024-07-09T02:03:12+00:00

Smart, good communication & social skills, manners, has his own interests (hopefully some that overlap mine), moral code compatible with mine, open & on the liberal side politically. Also, must smell good & actually like women.

anna_alabama · 2024-07-09T13:07:26+00:00

The only guy I’ve ever been attracted to is my husband:

intelligent, comes from a good family, hardworking, ambitious, funny, caring, kind, a good listener, pragmatic, a leader, clean cut, taller than me, dad bod

Nyanpireeee · 2024-07-10T04:29:57+00:00

I’m bisexual but I care most about -how much they care about me (I want to be loved) -their intelligence. I want deep conversations. Preferences? I like them chunky with some muscles but not too many. (Idk guys like that just look like they give amazing hugs) Or slightly skinny with no muscles because then they look like scrawny zombie boys. I like creepy looking boys. But overall I don’t care much ab that. I think the builds I described are attractive but I pretty much find anybody with style attractive so onto point twooo Fashion!! I love anybody with good fashion. Especially alternative. So we can dress wierd together. You can probably tell I’m a teenager from this description buuuut ya know.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-07-07T16:43:43+00:00

Taller than me. I'm 5'8. Slender toned body. Not super jacked just that they take care of themselves. Not overly masculine and secure in themselves to not hinge their masculinity on small things. A nice voice. A sense of style like hair style clothing style. Nice face no beard. Literally first thing I notice. A little nerdy and goofy Empathetic and kind can be easy to be vulnerable with. And eager to listen and help. A full head of hair. I'm sorry bald men but I like hair. Ambitious and independent. But still will always come back to me.

relish5k · 2024-07-07T16:32:52+00:00

personality: competency, good judgement, humor, intelligence, decisiveness

physical: tall, broad shoulders, lean build, thick or curly hair (ideally at least 2-3 of those), and nice to look at facially

TheMedsPeds · 2024-07-07T21:09:34+00:00

5’7-5’10, slender average or slightly athletic, some tattoos but not like fully covered, dark hair that’s at least a inch long, no facial hair minus scruff, that’s okay, full time job making at least $15 an hour, likes metal/punk or something in that subculture, light nerd (some video games, table top board games) smart, slightly-edgy personality, has his own vehicle, place and a small group of friends, into some form of art (like drawing, playing an instrument, etc.) sociable but not TOO sociable like phone constantly going off sociable. Loves animals, mostly cats, but not a big kid person. If he lacks that paternal instinct and feels awkward around kids…yes, let’s never have kids together. Is clean, bathes regularly. Has a sense of style but isn’t over the top about it like “omg there’s a scuff on my shoes!” Likes to travel, not a homebody, wants to get out and LIVE life and hates being stuck behind a screen for 90% of his down time. Laid back, no anger problems, doesn’t like to play mind games. Yes, that’s the perfect man.

KikiYuyu · 2024-07-08T01:10:55+00:00

Stability, reliability, sense of humour, is a nerd, emotionally intelligent, good at communicating, very huggable

Being hot is a plus but it doesn't really matter in any meaningful way

katecard · 2024-07-08T04:24:07+00:00

Nice, fun, supports women, pretty, hyper feminine face, short height, long hair, clean, athletic but not large or ripped, sweet, polite, respectful, funny, talkative, really really likes me, smart enough to have fun conversations with, similar interests, cute.

saraimarsena · 2024-07-07T20:57:12+00:00

PHYSICAL

handsome features, 6+/10, bearded, thick brows, long lashes
preferably black or latino
5’9 - 6’3
circumcised
average income is fine, making more than me
physically strong

RELATIONSHIP IDEALS

enjoys treating a woman and pouring into a relationship emotionally, physically, loves hard, loves ME, likes me a lot, adores me, very invested in me, openly expressive of his love for me
monogamous, no STDs, demonstrated ability to carry on an LTR, no history of cheating
able to value the intimacy of sex, doesn’t see it as a meaningless activity, open to waiting for PIV
decent sex drive, likes sex, values my pleasure, open to my kinks
desire for kids, marriage within 5 years. no other kids ⁠
not a virgin
not abusive, able to manage anger and relationship conflict
desires to take on greater financial share than me

PERSONALITY

christian background, protective, caring, has hobbies, FUNNY, interesting to talk to
dominant leaning, likes to lead and plan
masculine
not a total homebody, desire to go out and have fun, open to bars and clubs
creative, enjoys art
has played sports, enjoys sports
more extroverted than me
drinks socially

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MistyMaisel · 2024-07-08T03:53:47+00:00

Funny, handsome, great man, good lover, loving father, mature and competent adult, million dollar smile.

DXBrigade · 2024-07-08T09:56:27+00:00

I like geeks but if they play video games 24/7 forget it. Educated, good sense of humor, liberal bonus point if they practise a sport. Physically, I prefer black men (but I am open to date other races), 175 cm .

Different_Cress7369 · 2024-07-08T10:23:35+00:00

Honest, compassionate, has integrity and empathy. Someone who is on my level professionally and intellectually is preferred, not religious, or at least not God bothering. An animal lover who is socially and environmentally conscientious.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-07-08T19:33:30+00:00

Sense of humor, thoughtfulness, empathetic, emotional intelligence, shared values, good conversationalist/open minded, not misogynistic

SaBahRub · 2024-07-07T16:56:22+00:00

Hawt is different from loveable, as we all know

Title	What are the ideal traits of a partner
Author	randomperson67636
Upvotes	11
Comments	111
Date	July 7, 2024 3:35 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dxja87/what_are_the_ideal_traits_of_a_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-the-ideal-traits-of-a-partner.1523542 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523542

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