Updated

Jeep-Stingrey · 2024-08-23T14:07:02+00:00

Hey she realized the grass isn’t greener and realized how much she actually does love you. I think this is awesome, since you have kid or kids. We can’t look at the past or worry about tomorrow, we have enough worries for today. More than likely it won’t turn out how we think. We must forgive and not hold until hurt because it only hurts us not them. If she really changed then this is awesome but just move forward with caution, don’t jump in and just see where it goes.

duketool1011 · 2024-08-22T19:09:48+00:00

I want to clarify something because I don't think I worded it correctly in my post. I don't have any thoughts about reconciling. That ship has sailed. When her boyfriend moved in, that was the last shovel full of dirt on a dead marriage for me. My curiosity only comes from being astounded that she thinks that I could somehow forget the last 4 years. Even if I was a complete moron with zero self-esteem and I got back together with her, I would be paranoid non-stop anytime I saw something that looked remotely suspicious. I lived through 2 years of that shit at the end before we separated. I damn sure don't want to live like that again.

CrazySanta7 · 2024-08-22T18:46:33+00:00

You want to figure out what a woman is thinking??!! Haha. Move TF on bro. Stop wasting your life having hope with this woman.

recovering88 · 2024-08-22T18:26:47+00:00

It’s all manipulation. My ex was the same. She had no problem dating and fucking whoever she wanted but she instantly broke down when I started dating someone seriously. Now she’s all alone and makes little remarks about the old days and sniffles when she sees me. I’ve moved on. She didn’t want me when I was trying to fix everything so she can kick rocks and figure her own shit out

SuperConfused40 · 2024-08-22T15:37:25+00:00

Read the book, "no more mr nice guy" and figure your shit out.

It's over. Move on. Never talk to her again unless it's about kids.

DifferentCup1605 · 2024-08-22T13:51:16+00:00

She just wants to stop you from pursuing the other woman

Ok-Grand-1882 · 2024-08-22T04:12:44+00:00

Did you end up divorcing her yet?

upvotersfortruth · 2024-08-22T02:51:38+00:00

What in the actual fuck are you thinking? Curiousity killed the cat, now it's after you. Her relationship isn't working so she's reaching back to you because you're the closest / easiest thing around. On the other hand, if you've changed and are now of the opinion that you're okay being in a relationship with her where she can step out whenever she wants but you can't, go for it!

Icerunner45 · 2024-08-22T01:54:06+00:00

Most likely, don’t let her back in. If you really want to give her a chance, make her sign a post-nup and give you all your stuff back.

TheBoyBand · 2024-08-22T00:59:41+00:00

Your response should have been “this is not a conversation to fkn have via text or in person period!”

You are now talking to other woman and you seriously give a fuck how her mind is working 😂😂😂 come on man lol

Boomhower113 · 2024-08-22T00:52:12+00:00

Imagine this new guy has her bent over the couch you bought and she’s smiling the whole time he’s railing her from behind.

Odds are, that actually happened.

That ought to cure any “I should go back” thoughts for you. If she’s started living with another dude, y’all are done.

Enjoy your trip.

KillerUndies · 2024-08-22T00:46:51+00:00

I fear this for my own future as I read this scenario way too many times.

Bumblebee56990 · 2024-08-22T00:07:30+00:00

Whatever you want is where you should go. If you listen and get back with her you’ll be back here in five years or less.

PhysicsHenchman · 2024-08-22T00:06:11+00:00

You can look in my post history and see, but I played this dance with my ex three times. Each time she had buyers remorse about her actions, it was because I had started to see someone. Unfortunately, because I thought I owed it to my children, I let her back in.

I cannot express how much of a mistake It was to let her have any extra second with me. manipulation tactics, fueled by buyers remorse, regret, and The fear of losing her back up. She’ll probably say something along the lines of “well, I’m not like the other people“. She most undoubtedly is cheaters play the game by the same book playbook.

Don’t do it.

DivorceTA1988 · 2024-08-21T23:53:33+00:00

She doesn’t want you but she ALSO doesn’t want anyone else to have you. Fuck all the way off with this nonsense

Bretweir_jerky · 2024-08-21T22:49:08+00:00

I’ve said it before and only need to say it because all the other advice here is spot on, as usual; Stop talking to her. She is not your friend. She sued you in court to take your money and destroy your family for another man. Cut contact

crankyrhino · 2024-08-21T22:44:55+00:00

She doesn't want you, but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either.

Let it go.

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-08-21T22:24:06+00:00

Send those texts to the dream boat she's shacking up with. LOL

OkEmphasis5923 · 2024-08-21T22:16:43+00:00

Here's how her mind is working....she wants to keep you in her back pocket just in case. Don't overthink it. That's all this is. If you want to test that out tell her you broke up with your girlfriend and right now you are utterly and completely single and see her reaction. In your heart, you know the answer.

OkEmphasis5923 · 2024-08-21T22:16:33+00:00

Here's how her mind is working....she wants to keep you in her back pocket just in case. Don't overthink it. That's all this is. If you want to test that out tell her you broke up with your girlfriend and right now you are utterly and completely single and see her reaction. In your heart, you know the answer.

captainchippsixx · 2024-08-21T22:01:58+00:00

Dude. Ignore her. Look at her actions. Her actions say she doesn’t love you for a long time. Sounds like she is looking for soft landing of her situation falling apart. You should laugh her face!

jd385272 · 2024-08-21T21:30:50+00:00

🍿

Techdude_Advanced · 2024-08-21T21:19:28+00:00

The rule is you never go back. Run into the fire of your choice.

jazscam · 2024-08-21T21:17:41+00:00

Have the conversation, message the new partner, then don’t reconcile. Sounds like a lesson your ex needs to learn.

dnbndnb · 2024-08-21T20:09:01+00:00

She always thought you were Plan B. New guy likely not all she thought he would be. Fantasy in her head said she could just go back to you, she’d a few tears, be back in a comfortable place, and then find another new man someday.

You moved on. Plan B is shattered. She’s stuck. TFB

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2024-08-21T19:57:59+00:00

Thrive in your new rebirth. Think about what brought you to leave. Think about how much it cost you to leave.

HereinPA1 · 2024-08-21T19:40:55+00:00

I wish you would have opened with “she’s been living with a guy for 9 months” because that by itself is a full stop.

I completely understand your curiosity and possible what ifs, but man, she’s not worth it. My ex was getting dicked down by some guy through our whole separation and divorce and that alone is a non starter on reconciling. She never hinted she wanted to, but knowing that closed the door on those thoughts for me.

That chapter of your life is closed, don’t open it up again.

Reflog1791 · 2024-08-21T19:38:10+00:00

Of course they want another shot at the champ after you level up. This is all very standard.

If you improved your life without her you can expect the opposite if you get back with her.

iSurvivedltd · 2024-08-21T19:33:19+00:00

I can tell you how her mind works.

Her-let me leave him because this new guy loves me. Shows me attention. He’s great in bed. Blah blah. Blah.

Reality-my ex is talking to another woman? Someone else wants him? Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I thought. Lemme get him back

Reality-I miss being a family and when I think about it, it wasn’t that bad.

You-tell her to fuck herself and to only text you when it has to do with your kid.

These women think they are slick but we need to be one step ahead of them at all times.

JustSomeDude7287 · 2024-08-21T19:22:06+00:00

Did you ever figured her out during your relationship? No. Did you figured her out during the 4 years? No. There’s no sense of trying to understand those who are illogical.

Simple fact is she wants control over you and you having a new relationship means she lost that control over you. To her you couldn’t do better than her but reality is she set the bar so low that it’s funny she tripped over it.

There’s certain doors in life that does not need to be open again. You’re doing great, remember what turmoil you went through?, yeah, let’s not redo that again.

Nothing left to be said. She can live with her guilt for the rest of her life. You don’t, so continue thriving!

ww3historian · 2024-08-21T19:02:59+00:00

Go gray rock on her

ColdEstablishment172 · 2024-08-21T19:00:13+00:00

Weren't you the one that said you were talking to another woman in a different country? Then you told your ex that you were going to go visit that country and she cried a little before she hung up?

Anyway, don't do it!!! She doesn't deserve closure. You had to deal without it for so long. She can have a piece of that pie also. Keep going man. You got this. You are the shit! Emperor. King. We as males have the power of the masculine behind us, ever supporting us. And I don't mean that in a toxic masculinity kind of way. Toxic masculinity is boys trying to be men without knowing what that fundamentally means.

Title	Updated
Author	duketool1011
Upvotes	19
Comments	39
Date	August 21, 2024 6:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1exxedt/updated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/updated.1527936 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527936

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