Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24

dudefromyork · 2024-10-15T14:39:45+00:00

How long would the sale be deferred for? And how enforceable is the sale when she inevitably tells you to f*ck off in a couple of years time when you ask her to sell?

AggieDan1996 · 2024-10-12T20:22:44+00:00

In our 2018 divorce, we had a morale clause put in place, which I abided by religiously. Her, on the other hand...

No romantic partners while you have custody between the hours of 8pm and 8am. His place, her place, hotel rooms, RVs, tents, etc. That'll make her monkey-branch more difficult.

First time it happened (that I know of) her cop uncle was over visiting from out of state for the holidays in 2019. I called to say goodnight to the kids. Heard a boyfriend there, it was 8:30 pm. I texted her immediately with a screenshot of the decree. "But my uncle is here. Nothing can happen." Resent shot of decree saying he had to leave.

She was pissed. She showed me, though, and ended up marrying him in October of 2020. Thus, putting an end to his leaving at 8pm. She actually gathered the kids around at the wedding and the four of them celebrated the end of the 8pm curfew.

Her divorce was finalized (after becoming estranged in 2021) last year.

Granted, I had my fair share of, "it's 7:55! We have to go!" And one time standing outside my girlfriend's house at 8:05pm because my daughter was dropping a deuce and taking forever. But, I had to be outside.

Sure, it can cramp your dating as well. But, I think it's worth it.

Low_Distribution5188 · 2024-10-12T18:46:46+00:00

Can you get spousal support if you still live with your wife during a divorce or is it better to find a place to live we have no kids??

Pro-IDGAF · 2024-10-12T15:50:02+00:00

when my ex of 24 yrs want to “take a break” she wanted me to leave and i called bs. you want a break, you leave…and she did.

my house, i made all the money. she didnt work. i ended up buying her out.

dont leave your house.

Ok-Cucumber-6976 · 2024-10-12T14:45:32+00:00

Install the cameras. All conversations are just messages. Turn on the camera when talking. And try to communicate with witnesses. Don't leave the house. Get on with your life. If anything happens, call the police. Write down any threats. Go to court. On the ban.

AirSailer · 2024-10-12T13:00:45+00:00

Don't expect the sale of the house to occur anytime soon after the divorce is finalized. She will drag her feet as long as possible. My ex was required to obtain a new loan and it took her 19 months; during that time she was late on payments multiple times and guess who's credit it hurt. I wanted to buy a house when I moved out but could not because I already had a loan, now I can't afford a house.

hazalo9 · 2024-10-12T11:03:41+00:00

You being in the home is a negotiating chip you have. She wants to make her life but at the cost of yours. Play every single card you have to get a better deal for yourself but most importantly for your children's relationship. You can't help them if you don't help yourself first. Good luck bro!

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-10-12T09:11:21+00:00

⚠️DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE⚠️ unless a judge orders it. Repeat that to yourself 10 x. Seriously.
Only exception is that if she is a violent one &/or with mental issues ---->you are at risk of bogus domestic violence accusation & TRO strike(ie a judge telling you to get out)

Here's why:

Once you're out, she becomes the primary caregiver by default. You're suddenly the "weekend dad." or "walking purse"
Her 👹lawyer might tell her to drag this divorce out for years bc hey, Free housing and support for her, while you're stuck paying
BUT If you stay, she'll want to speed up the divorce. If you leave, she's got NO incentive to hurry. Why? Free housing+ $$$ marital support !!
Worst case: You're paying for a house where she could potentially bring a new BF sleeping your bed
Staying in the house protects your rights. Don't give up that leverage without a fight or legal order.

Remember: Your goal is to be an equal parent, not a 🏰Disneyland Daddy in your kid's life. Stand your ground, man.

juliaskig · 2024-10-12T06:58:59+00:00

If your lawyer thinks you should sign this fire your lawyer.

sicrm · 2024-10-12T06:13:29+00:00

her plan is to get you out, get AP in, then she’ll be in no rush to sell deferred or not.

if it works out with AP, they won’t want to move. if it doesn’t work out, she could delay the sale more just to mess with you.

either the house gets sold or the other gets a check with there 50%. anything else is asking for trouble.

i80west · 2024-10-12T05:14:21+00:00

If she's living there alone, she'll have no incentive to expedite the sale, and she could delay it. After all, she'll be living there alone. We sold our house in my divorce and we both lived there until the closing date. We each moved out what we wanted and arranged to donate or discard everything else.

georeddit2018 · 2024-10-12T04:30:09+00:00

Don't leave. Ots your house to and you entitled to stay. Just be careful because she might accuse you of abuse and slam you with Temporary Restraining Order.

graceissufficent0310 · 2024-10-12T03:00:31+00:00

Don't you dare leave your house! Tell her to leave but the kids stay with you in the house where they are familiar and comfortable.

CrazySanta7 · 2024-10-12T01:00:34+00:00

She can F right off. Why do you have to move out? Deferred sale? No. She doesn't get to have an affair and have everything handed to her. I kept the house and told her to move tf out. I refinanced and got her off the deed.

throwaway_coy4wttf79 · 2024-10-12T00:55:31+00:00

Once your lawyer says it's ok, then it's ok. And believe me it feels great to not share the same space anymore. But don't do it until the lawyer is cool with it. Fuck whatever she wants.

This_Train340i · 2024-10-12T00:34:04+00:00

Better put a clause in that agreement to keep the AP from immediately moving into your house OR spending the night. Because that's is exactly what she is angling for.

NetherworldMuse · 2024-10-12T00:13:43+00:00

“They want me to…” nobody should give a fuck with you stbx or their lawyer want. The only thing you should give a fuck about is what the judge says and what your lawyer advises you to do

This_Train340i · 2024-10-12T00:11:37+00:00

If she has an AP, you should be able to sweeten the deal a little better while she is in limerence. Use her desire to expedite the divorce to YOUR advantage. If you sign and agreement that you will leave on 11/1, you will have to leave or you will be in breach of the agreement.

Training_Ad1368 · 2024-10-12T00:06:29+00:00

Don't agree to anything without some kind of negotiation backed by your lawyer. Don't sign anything without your lawyer blessing.

FUMoney · 2024-10-11T23:58:39+00:00

Fuck that “deal.” Deferred sale? No way. No way. Force the sale, split the proceeds. NO FINANCIAL ENTANGLEMENTS post-divorce. Especially post-divorce.

stupididiot78 · 2024-10-11T23:37:29+00:00

Who cares what she wants? You didn't want to her to fuck another man and look at what that got you.

dnbndnb · 2024-10-11T23:31:55+00:00

11/1? 🤣🤣🤣. Add to the agreement you’ll leave the house after it’s signed off by the court AND you want a $5k relocation payment for your troubles.

techrmd3 · 2024-10-11T23:25:29+00:00

offer HER an option for her and kids to vacate by 11/1 and see how she takes this... and offer her oh say 1-2k to make it easier for her to find appropriate housing.

"sometimes" this kind of exercise makes the other party realize that GET OUT OF HERE I DONT WANT YOU AROUND ... is a whole lot more complex than "Wifey don't want you around anymore"

The reason why I say this is, it's important to get the soon to be EX realizing the full implications of what she's doing with a divorce.

If you think about it. If the divorced woman stays in the house she was in before divorce... welp she really has no life changes now does she? If you force her to realize that YES her little head will have to come up with solutions without man help... sometimes during negotiations she "gets it" and becomes more reasonable.

Note: this does not stop divorce (that bell has already rung)... but it gets the other party (which did not have to find another place to live... a little reality check that making other people move IS a big deal... might want to be reasonable in requests.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2024-10-11T23:24:44+00:00

Having you out of the house greatly benefits her. What are you getting in return for this? Does agreement secure 50/50 custody and financial terms that you are okay with?

someatxdude · 2024-10-11T23:24:18+00:00

“People in hell want ice water”

What you should counter with is what your attorney advises you protects your rights and future financial interests, and is reasonable within likely outcomes if you go to court.

What she wants is fucking irrelevant.

Eric_C_Productions · 2024-10-11T22:56:56+00:00

It all depends on your situation with you STBX. Do you get along? Are you civil with her? Vice versa. My relationship was violent and the last two years of my marriage was less violent because I had a restraining order on her that kept her in check. I was married for 20 years, together for 24. I have 2 kids who are older now. If it is a violent or combative situation, I would say, get out and look for another place to live.

If you have to leave the house, do you have family or friends where you can stay or rent a room? Moving out was my best option for my own health and sanity. I am currently living at my parents house and I live 85 miles from the house that I have owned for 21 years. My kids live there with their mom. Despite living 85 miles away, I am still in their life, talk to them everyday and I physically see them every 2 weeks. Keep in mind that my boys are 19 and 20 so its not like they are needy and craving my attention anymore. I know more about what is going on in their lives than my ex-wife who lives in the same house. They don't really talk to her and she is working full time and doing her own thing now. Essentially they are just roommates. Its sad but I make it a point to be the parent to them. She tries to treat them like a friend.

Slowloris81 · 2024-10-11T22:56:54+00:00

If you do consider leaving, make sure you have an enforceable parenting plan first that you are agreeable to so you can see be sure to see the kids. Otherwise it may be a fight to see them depending on how reasonable your stbx is (and even then you don’t want to have to rely on her being reasonable).

deep66it2 · 2024-10-11T22:43:09+00:00

Nope! Stick it out & LIVE there. It's yours too. Don't discuss it with her at all.

Equal-Morning9480 · 2024-10-11T22:41:20+00:00

What are you getting in return for leaving? There must be some kind of agreement in place otherwise I wouldn’t be going anywhere, you are entitled to hafe the equity no?

Bumblebee56990 · 2024-10-11T22:41:06+00:00

What has your attorney said you should do? I wouldn’t leave.

Glittering-Spell-446 · 2024-10-11T22:37:46+00:00

People here say never leave the house only if domestic violence… but cant imagine staying same house though. I just started the process at least we dont own a home but we rent

No-Kaleidoscope1601 · 2024-10-11T22:36:48+00:00

Yeah I wouldn’t be leaving

Title	Wife wants me out of house by 11/1/24
Author	GigaFastTwin
Upvotes	29
Comments	54
Date	October 11, 2024 10:31 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1g1ly4x/wife_wants_me_out_of_house_by_11124/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-wants-me-out-of-house-by-11124.1532925 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532925

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