If you have to perform niceness or play jester on a date, then you’re not actually desired.

brassbuffalo · 2026-06-11T14:56:44+00:00

This seems to contradict many of your previous posts. You've previously argued that you can't expect someone to really desire you early on. Now you're arguing the opposite. Is this an admission that you were wrong in previous posts?

You seem incredibly off the mark bringing up transactional relationships. Anyone who wants to feel truly desired doesn't want a transactional relationship. They want someone who wants them, not what material things they have to offer. A prostitute truly desires your money, not you. Why do you think people want transactional relationships?

Sensitive_Housing_85 · 2026-06-11T15:08:16+00:00

I’m nice on dates because I genuinely like the person, but I also feel that if you have to convince someone you’re worth it, they don’t truly desire. You can create attraction, sure, but I get what you mean.

WanabeInflatable · 2026-06-11T15:25:53+00:00

I agreed with you until this line:

> There are definitely women who will not be making you perform niceness for them nor jestering for their amusement

No, it is not definitely nor it is guaranteed.

I agree that men shouldn't be jestering for women that are not interested. But no - there could be literally zero women who are truly interested. Men should accepted much harsher thought: it is better to be perpetually single rather than jestering and beta-buxing. A lot of men are not ready for such a choice.

Particular_Trade6308 · 2026-06-11T19:11:24+00:00

I read this and thought it was an incel OP at first, turns out it’s Lilith. Must be a bait?

ThrowRAGlobeVase · 2026-06-11T18:13:42+00:00

Ahhh, a Lilith post. The signature “Jester,” “beta bux,” and “lady of the night” terminology.

I’m confused because the other day you said guys shouldn’t complain about having to “play jester” because they’re limiting their options if they don’t. Now the assertion is that if they do, they’re not actually desired.

Humans - both women and men - have a lot of desires. One of them is wanting to be loved and accepted for who they are. Another is sex and things that feel good.

Sometimes it feels good when things are transactional… whether that’s a friends with benefits, a person who takes you out to expensive dinners, or a lady of the night as you so eloquently put it.

Sometimes, like when you care about a person on a deeper level, or want to, the transactional part don’t feel so good.

It’s pretty complicated, and at the same time, it’s not that complicated at all.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2026-06-11T14:52:39+00:00

So I’m for straight up whores cheaper and faster and zero clown 🤡

ResidentFortune624 · 2026-06-11T14:33:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DavidSwimmer19 · 2026-06-11T17:49:45+00:00

Why is Lillith allowed to keep posting here when people clearly get banned for much less?

addings0 · 2026-06-11T19:41:13+00:00

Women don't care if men are sincere in their kindness, because it's not the only thing women want. Women want men to be two things ( or more ) , and shift between them, based on her whims. Too much kindness makes men look weak, so now she doesn't want it anymore. Now the bad boy becomes valued ( until the bad boy also fails her expectations ) . Even if women do't want the bad boy, women want to see how much they can get away with by curtailing him with their own choices. " You're a good man when you let me cheat on you. " It's all just more manipulation and gaslighting to make her feel superior.

chobolicious88 · 2026-06-11T20:36:38+00:00

Problem is, to accomplish what youre saying - men need to accept where they are in the pecking order.

Thats basically it, the women you dont have to jester for likely see your genes as good enough, coz heres are on the same level or below.

yoloswag420noscope69 · 2026-06-11T21:13:55+00:00

So now we're in the part of the cycle where half the people here all agree to pretend that jestering means "just having a personality".

screw56 · 2026-06-11T17:17:17+00:00

First off, if we even ignore the problematic consent/trafficking aspect of escorts. It’s temporary, comes with many limitations of what you can do and also carries high risk of STDs, getting robbed etc.

If you see things from a lens of short term attraction then yea sure being hot is the easiest way in. But who is to say other methods are not viable at all? If I’m not attractive but being funny and a good time can get me laid with the same chick as an attractive guy, why shouldn’t I try? Ofc looks play a direct role but sometimes things like proximity, convenience, comfort can certainly tip the scale in your favour. But I don’t even like this weird sexually charged framing to begin with.

You should go where you are wanted but I think it’s naive to assume that sex appeal is just all about pure physical attraction to the appearance.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-06-11T17:48:12+00:00

Define "have to"

I do/try all kinds of wild shit on dates, mainly for my own amusement. I guess that's just part of who I am.

What I'm not going to do is sit and have a first round interview where I state my current life situation, where I see myself in 5 years, my backstory, family history, and "what I'm looking for".

If I ever got the impression that a woman was "wanting me to perform niceness" (whatever that means), I'd turn into a sarcastic asshole for about 15 seconds. It would probably get a laugh.

Anyone who does that nonsense is completely missing the point of a date.

"Truly desired" means she will come over to fuck you and then leave. If she won't do that, that doesn't necessarily mean you aren't "truly desired", but you do have to do a ton more digging to get your answer if you cant get her to come over for nothing more than sex.

HungryDepth5918 · 2026-06-11T20:41:28+00:00

Having a sense of humor isn’t a transaction.

Emotional_Meal748 · 2026-06-12T00:52:14+00:00

Yes instant consent is sexier than delayed/conditional consent

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binne21 · 2026-06-11T19:19:58+00:00

What kind of a person isn't nice on a date???

YourMrFahrenheit · 2026-06-11T16:35:45+00:00

They call it jestering because the idea of having a personality feels completely performative to them. I think that’s really telling.

Competitive_Swan_130 · 2026-06-11T14:39:04+00:00

I agree. Not only are they not desired but they also aren't really nice or good people. If the only time you're good or do things for somebody is when you expect something back, you're just transactional. Which is cool, I see nothing wrong with women getting money out of men , especially when a lot of women are having sex with men and not getting anything out of the sex. Women who hook up and don't have an orgasm or any money in their hand are engaging in frivilous fucking and that shit is stupid.

InitialNo3061 · 2026-06-11T20:24:59+00:00

oh my fucking god shut the fuck up

fucksiclepizza · 2026-06-11T22:47:20+00:00

If someone has to perform niceness then theyre not actually nice.

Narsauce_Alpha · 2026-06-11T15:56:37+00:00

No shit, tell me something I don’t know.

If you have to perform niceness or play jester on a date, then you’re not actually desired.

Comments

I dont think I need to bother responding after seeing a DEFENSE of Epstein.

As do most people.

OMG! People hate BIGOTRY! THIS IS NEWS!

OMG! People hate bigotry because it makes them feel bad too?!

Holy shit. Do you guys only know Epstein, Diddy, and Tate?

Right. Most peoole dont like casual sex.

While being purple.

Purple isn't red.

Red is in purple.

So is blue. Congrats, you have passed elementary school art class.

Title	If you have to perform niceness or play jester on a date, then you’re not actually desired.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	2
Comments	231
Date	June 11, 2026 2:29 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1u30ok1/if_you_have_to_perform_niceness_or_play_jester_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-have-to-perform-niceness-or-play-jester-on.1582571 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582571