Are most male insecurities fueled by women or by other men?

WhiteningMcClean · 2019-05-05T18:47:24+00:00

Penis size: most women don't care about penis size and most don't want big penises because they hurt. It's men and their porn obsession that makes them insecure.

Women absolutely do. Just because not all women want 10 inches doesn't mean they don't care.

Virginity: most women don't care if a guy is a virgin, some even like it. It's men who shame other men about their sexual history and partner count.

This is laughable. I agree that men do shame other men for it more than women, but the amount of women for whom virginity is a deal-breaker DWARF the amount who prefer it. I remember learning quickly not to tell girls I had never done it before.

Height: most women don't care about height as long as the guy isn't shorter than them.

Also false. I'm attractive and not horribly short and have been rejected outright for my height numerous times. Only once was it from a girl who was taller than me. Or even when not rejected, I hear something negative about it constantly. The "6 ft and up meme" doesn't come from nowhere.

Displaying emotions: men call each other pussies and say they're acting like "girls" if they show any emotion that isn't anger.

Also 100% false and is an outdated notion. It really only holds true when you're with legit asshole dudebros. Even regular dudebros will at worst just ignore it. Women, on the other hand, may react well to emotion in the moment, but it's incredibly unattractive to most of them.

Englezu90 · 2019-05-05T18:54:10+00:00

Women definitely care about height and penis size.

Not once has another man shamed me for either.

angels_fan_rp · 2019-05-05T18:57:05+00:00

I see women virgin shame and shame dick size incessantly. It's like the go to insults.

I have never in my life seen a man shame a guys dick.

When you hear small dick shaming over and over and over again, men tend to internalize that. Then women have the audacity to say, "dick size doesn't matter!"

I have a hyper macho rancher brother in law that gatekeeps masculinity in the most toxic way you can imagine. He's constantly calling guys faggots and disguisting because they don't conform to his standards of masculinity. Which is wranglers and cowboy boots.

I wear buckle jeans and he tried to shame me by saying, "does your wife know you're wearing her jeans?" I said, "I have never in my life seen someone that cares so much what other people wear!!" Then there was a kind of awkward silence. But he hasn't done it since.

flamingoinghome · 2019-05-05T19:34:19+00:00

I have to say, I know my total lack of fucks re: height is unusual, but the dick size one is the weirdest to me. Because, like, if you're aware of a guy's dick size, surely that means you've seen his dick? And straight women really only see dicks in the context of men they're already attracted enough to that they're getting naked with them. It seems like cool, detached analysis of dick size probably comes mostly from literal locker rooms and the like.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-05-05T19:23:28+00:00

It’s both. Men are competitive and women are the ones setting the standards. If women desire taller men with larger penises, then of course those guys are going to hold those things over the other guys that don’t have them to stoke their egos.

CainPrice · 2019-05-05T20:10:48+00:00

Women care about all of these things. It's just not as doom-and-gloom as the internet incels like to make it out to be. You don't have to be 6'6" tall with an 8-inch penis and a reputation around town as a super stud to have sex. If you're average at most of these things, you'll do okay if your game is good.

Penis size - If you're 5 inches or more and average girth, you're fine. (Note that 5.5 is average). The exception is fat women. Chunky girls have extra folds of skin in their crotch and their belly gets in the way, so you need to be longer to get deep enough into the vagina to hit the good spot.

Virginity - Girls who do casual absolutely care if you're a virgin or if you're inexperienced. Not because they're worried you'll suck in bed, but because they're worried you'll take the sex more seriously than they will and try to get into a relationship. Girls who don't do casual don't care as much.

Height - 90% of women want a guy who is six feet or taller. But only 10% of women actually know what six feet looks like. If she's 5'7" and you're 5'10" and you say you're six feet on your dating profile, she'll think you're six feet. Just don't tell her you're actually average height.

Emotions - Women don't consciously shame men for being emotional but unconsciously don't get as turned on for guys who are weenies.

Digedag · 2019-05-05T18:48:25+00:00

As a hetero man I couldn't care less about what other men think about me, after all I care about what women think of me, because I want to be attractive for them.

All the things you've named have a negative influence on a men's attractiveness towards women. It's pretty much proven.

qwertyuiop111222 · 2019-05-05T20:36:55+00:00

Height: most women don't care about height as long as the guy isn't shorter than them.

Hilarious! Make two tinder profiles of equally attractive men. Make one 6'2, and the other 5'5 (both taller than the average American . female). The latter profile will get almost no right swipes, not even by women shorter than him.

Displaying emotions: men call each other pussies and say they're acting like "girls" if they show any emotion that isn't anger.

The majority of responses on this thread, and my own ex-wife, beg to differ with you.

LillthOfBabylon · 2019-05-06T07:10:44+00:00

Other men. Usually it's your own group that hurts you the most.

Height: most women don't care about height as long as the guy isn't shorter than them.

Even then, look at Peter Dinklege.

men call each other pussies and say they're acting like "girls" if they show any emotion that isn't anger.

IKR?! They seem to have forgotten women aren't the ones who started the Soy Boy meme.

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razenha · 2019-05-05T22:40:14+00:00

100% by women

Cunari · 2019-05-05T19:00:01+00:00

Well look at the things are only cared about by men.

Muscle mass and overall body size(including fat). A lot of men admire big fat and muscular men but women do not.

The things men feel secure about tends to be less when it is only important to men: muscle mass above a certain point then things that are important to both men and women: penis size and height.

jenovajunkie · 2019-05-05T23:03:24+00:00

Now you are just blaming men for female desire/fantasy?

Yeesh, don't want to be around ColCrin.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-05-05T18:53:12+00:00

Insecurities are fueled by low self esteem. I've known guys with small dicks who had a swagger because they knew their oral game was on point.

MGTOWKapow2 · 2019-05-06T00:59:10+00:00

most women don't care about penis size and most don't want big penises because they hurt.

Wrong.

most women don't care if a guy is a virgin, some even like it.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL. First thing out of a woman's mouth if she's losing an argument with you or she doesn't like what you just said. Something about mom's basement, virgin neckbeard loser. And obviously with a small cock.

So... you're totally fucking wrong.

Autistic_Reeeeeeeeee · 2019-05-06T02:03:20+00:00

Penis size: most women don't care about penis size and most don't want big penises because they hurt. It's men and their porn obsession that makes them insecure.

This is wrong. They certainly do. Women laugh when it is small. Women gasp when it is big. I am sure porn has an impact but to say women are not attracted to penis size is deluded. Women can be afraid of a large penis because it might hurt but that does not mean they are not attracted to it. Men know this, they would rather you be afraid of their penis than have them think you have a small one.

Virginity: most women don't care if a guy is a virgin, some even like it. It is men who shame other men about their sexual history and partner count.

It really depends. Men care more about virginity than women do. I know women personally that are purely attracted to men because of their many partners. A common and proven pickup technique revolves around approaching women in groups and having either all or the majority of them interested in you. If many women are interested in 1 man it signals that the man is of a higher value so each individual women wants him more and this only feeds the cycle. It is called preselection.

With men this is different if a women approaches a a group of men in a provocative way I am instantly turned off and uninterested. This is the case for most people. Men will have sex with this women but they won't be attracted to her romantically in any way.

Height: most women don't care about height as long as the guy isn't shorter than them.

Being 6 ft 5" and having male friends between 5 ft 7' and 5 ft 9' I know for a fact that most women are attracted to height and size.

As long as the male is taller than the female it is usually okay. But its not just height, but size.

Women are attracted mostly to security and how well any specific man can provide it. Being tall or large in stature mimics that.

Probably why slightly overweight men have a better chance of attracting women than extremely skinny men. They can to some extent display strength.

So this is also wrong, I don't see many women running around with guys shorter than they are.

Displaying emotions: men call each other pussies and say they're acting like "girls" if they show any emotion that isn't anger.

Not showing emotions is akin to being a rock that people can rely on. It has nothing to do with being perceived as male. Everyone knows people have feelings but it is how we deal with them that matters.

If a tragedy happens in your life someone needs to remain strong and unshakable until the tragedy is over. This is usually a male or group of males and they need to provide support and stability for those who cannot do the same. Men need to be the foundational rock that others can rely on in times of need. Being emotional and thinking in irrational ways because of it is essentially voiding this responsibility.

Crying is for women and children. Men learn form their mistakes, Move forward and remain the rock of stability for their family and friends. This is a sacrifice men make. It is a conscious decision to prevent the chaos caused by any tragic event. We do it for small things like a pet dying as well.

While women and children are crying and inconsolable men need to be relied upon.

This burden is by far the worst that men have to deal with. Without strong men our society would crumble.

And looking at the voting patterns of women and how it has destroyed Europe and other Western countries it is verifiably and undeniably true.

Just because it can sometimes manifest in men calling each other pussies does not mean that is the main cause.

Men making fun of mean for having emotions is just them identifying weakness and calling it out for what it is.

If you are a weak male you will and should be called out on it.

Women can also be pillars of stability however this is few and far between and they are not nearly as effective as males at doing so.

Everything you have said here is extremely surface level and just shows how much you don't actually know about these things.

Reisiluu · 2019-05-05T20:22:29+00:00

Correct on all points.

An average dick is fine and virginity is better than unwillingness to make the woman cum. Men are about 12 cm taller than women on average so there is a taller man for every woman out there. Men who have healthy self respect can show their whole range of emotions without coming across as needy, whiny or wimpy.

analt223 · 2019-05-05T20:26:45+00:00

Its women. The "other men" argument is mostly bullshit, and is very much used as an excuse.

Men would rather come home to a woman who hes attracted to and shes attracted to him than just about anything else.

And no, women do care about men who are virgins. And men have always been able to display emotions, as long as it is about the plight of others. When people talk about the "we want men to cry" crap, its "we want men to be able to cry about women's oppression". Go be a man and cry about your own life when you lose your job or something and see how even the most liberal feminist women don't want you opening up then.

TheDogJones · 2019-05-05T21:42:01+00:00

"most women"

OP needs to do a lot more reading about what both men and women care about. In particular, the notion that women don't care about height is laughably false. It's like a person from Mars wrote this post; it's so out of touch with reality.

azngirl7689 · 2019-05-05T18:39:09+00:00

Men. They care about looking good to men. If they’d chill with the macho crap and relax, their lives would be better.

[deleted] · 2019-05-05T22:56:50+00:00

Women. All insecurities for men come from how women perceive them. If women didn’t make fun of/ were attracted to dudes being short, or bald, or whatever, then guys wouldn’t have any problems with being that. That being said, can’t blame them for necessarily having those preferences, not their fault I’m not attractive enough, but the only reasons I don’t like being short is because it doesn’t make me hot to women.

zayelion · 2019-05-05T19:18:07+00:00

Certain levels of stoicness. For example when women become violent, apparently it is "manly" to completely ignore her when she is up in your face like a drill sergeant. A woman punches a guy in the balls people laugh, a guy punches a woman in the gut people call the cops. There is a double standard here pushed by both sexes for men to subject themselves to needless violence from women.

As a man I've found if I want to share my emotions with a woman it comes at a cost, its like borrowing money from a chest. In the general female consciousness (stereotyping) children have emotions, men do not. I've expressed deep regrets, insecurities and heartache to women and they call me a robot in the next few mins for not sharing more. They are simply not even trying to listen, its bizarre.

For that reason I keep some close friends that I can just vent to.

sadomasochrist · 2019-05-05T20:43:04+00:00

Almost none of this is true, and some of it is idiotic.

Height: most women don't care about height as long as the guy isn't shorter than them.

Did you even think before you wrote this?

czerdec · 2019-05-05T20:54:34+00:00

How the fuck would anyone know? If the experimental work had been done to provide a reliable answer, I am sure I'd have heard of it by now. Those fuckers would deserve a Nobel.

passepar2t · 2019-05-05T21:26:57+00:00

Can't speak for other men but my insecurity is fueled by my being garbage.

[deleted] · 2019-05-05T21:34:28+00:00

When i was young i guess all my insecurities were from low self esteem, more than likely from a very domineering dad, although we get along great these days. So other men i guess

gopher_glitz · 2019-05-05T21:57:32+00:00

Hi, I would love to take you out sometime...

"Insert rejection and reason for rejection (usually looks as men are rejected right away or something else if the guy has tons if women friends)"

That is what that guy is going to be insecure about.

Xemnas81 · 2019-05-05T22:50:41+00:00

No, many women do reinforce gender roles, especially with regards to sexual selection. Don't let anybody try and convince you otherwise for sake of their narrative.

That said it's pointless to try and prove that "women do it more" to counter feminists, and it's even worse to demonise women's for the most part, instinctive preferences in men.

(Unless you decide to defect to Men's Lib, in which case you will be expected to renounce your Red Pill philosophy and endorse feminism more. Some of these include gender abolitionists-essentially what radical feminists are when their misandry and heterophobia cools off-who will fight with you against wo/men 'reinforcing toxic masculinity'. But say goodbye to many anti-feminist/tradcon friends of yours if you do so.)

Rather than antagonising, just reinforce the idea that sexism is neither unilateral, nor purely a product of social conditioning, and finally, not inherently oppressive.

grand_tiremaster · 2019-05-05T23:44:33+00:00

From a woman -- Penis size: the girth matters. At least 6 inches is preferred IMO, with girthy girth.

Virginity: Yeah I actually do not care if a man is a virgin. It kinda makes things more fun.

Height: Yep pretty much. Though I am 5'7" and like 5'11" in heels, so a taller-ish man is preferred just so I do not tower him. My mom is 4'11" super tiny lady, while my dad is 5'9" which is considered short. I have seen several short couples, though.

Displaying emotions: This is a tricky one. Because I have had LTR's with a couple of guys who were emotional and it was more annoying/draining than anything else. It really depends on how a man displays his emotions and how he handles them. If a guy is angry and goes to the gym to blow it off? Okay great. If he is angry and punches a hole in the wall? Not great, I am running the hell away. In times of sadness or annoyance (maybe I did something that rattled his chains), I would prefer sitting down and talking it out. I have seen men hold it in and become passive aggressive. It would be nice if both parties are mature and can communicate their feels. But this is not always so.

[deleted] · 2019-05-06T00:07:20+00:00

You are right that some of these insecurities are overblown by men themselves.

However insecurities are usually based on a fair amount of truth (hence why you are insecure in the first place).

Penis size definitely matters if it's really small, the question is how small is small.

Virginity definitely does matter but it's age relative. A 20 year old virgin many women would find cute and innocent (oh he's waiting for the right girl). A 30 year old virgin is a weirdo freak to pretty much all women (even if they don't admit it out loud). Nobody respects another human being that can't get what they want; especially on a sexual level since it's so fundamental.

Height is overblown as well. However it does matter if you're short (like really short), but it's not a endgame, I do admit the 6ft or friend meme is bullshit but it does seem the male ideal is tall WITH a handsome face. It seems we think taller people are better looking by default. If a tall man is ugly his height is (almost) useless as a boost [unless she's part of the few women with a height fetish].

Ziczor · 2019-05-06T07:29:26+00:00

Women. I pay attention to what my gf says about other people looks. It's always "you're great-looking, I wouldn't be with you otherwise" and then she proceeds to bash some chad dude from TV, that I'm 5 levels below, cause his eyebrows are slightly uneven, or face is a lil bit asymmetrical in a way that even lookism users wouldn't notice. I can form a perfect chad in my head just from what she says. I don't expose my thoughts and anc insecure, but it hurts like a bitch. I'll go mental soon, 100%.

JudgementalChair · 2019-05-06T13:01:09+00:00

I'd say the standards set forth by other men in western society can be rough, but at the same time it's what teaches young boys what it means to be a man (excluding the toxic masculinity side of things). You can make the same argument on the feminine side of things in that women are much harsher judges of other women than men are of women

Wallstreet3 · 2019-05-06T15:57:35+00:00

In regards to penis size. There was an actual study done where women selected a 3D printed representation of a penis. The average of all the women came out to 6" length and 5" circumference. Both measurements are a half inch bigger than average. And if the women were selecting on just visual length it corresponds to 7" Bone pressed erect length. Both measurements place that man in the 90th Percentile.

So yeah, size matters. Not saying all women want or can even handle Mandingo, just pointing out that female preference is greater than average male genitals.

Over on BDP, we conclude through shared experience that being between 7x5 and 7.5x5.5 is the best dick for a man to have. At 5.5 inch girth, your condom size is limited in the US, Skyn Large might feel a bit tight. Bigger guys gotta special order from Europe.

[deleted] · 2019-05-06T18:42:58+00:00

Other men when you're younger, they can beat you up easier. No threat of physical violence = who cares what other men think, they can't enforce it in any way, and you can destroy whatever it is they have that they can try to lord over you with.

So, mostly women. You don't have to give a single shit about anything if women still want to fuck you at the end of the day.

MisterJose · 2019-05-06T21:13:51+00:00

Penis size: I think part of it is based on the way men think about sex in general. A bigger penis must be better, right? The whole idea of intensity of experience seems central to that. Women who say penis size doesn't matter are thinking about sex in a way you're average porn-watching male is not.

Virginity: Yes, this is probably a bit society. Men are supposed to be good in bed. You can't be good without experience. Virginity implies both that you don't know what you're doing, and that it must be that no other women ever wanted you, which is a turn-off for many women if they think that's implied.

Again, the default female model seems to be 'loving mutual relationship with my sweetie, these things wouldn't matter' and men are thinking 'I want lots of women to feel like dropping their panties at the sight of me, of course it would matter.'

Height: I dunno. I'm 6'0", and short girls seem to like me and get giggly looking up at me at a higher rate than taller girls.

Displaying emotions: Yes and no. I think women imagine attractive men sharing certain vulnerabilities with them, and sure that seems nice.

On the other side, I remember talking with someone I met online, and opening up for the first time about how crushed I was about certain past rejections, and how I still think about it, and she informed me what a turn-off that was being for her.

LeJacquelope · 2019-05-07T01:19:16+00:00

Penis size: most women don't care about penis size and most don't want big penises because they hurt. It's men and their porn obsession that makes them insecure.

Also women: "Only men with small dicks would say that ahurhur"

Virginity: most women don't care if a guy is a virgin, some even like it. It's men who shame other men about their sexual history and partner count.

Also women: "duh hur hur you just say that because you can't get laid you pathetic virgin ahurhur..."

Height: most women don't care about height as long as the guy isn't shorter than them.

Also, hella lots of women: http://imgbox.com/g/agKf0EDKuA

Displaying emotions: men call each other pussies and say they're acting like "girls" if they show any emotion that isn't anger.

Also women: https://i.imgur.com/FBqSAup.png

CosmicBioHazard · 2019-05-07T09:21:38+00:00

Virginity: most women don't care if a guy is a virgin, some even like it. It's men who shame other men about their sexual history and partner count.

When I divorced my wife for cheating, I went off on her about how the worst of it was that I could no longer share a first time with anybody else, virginity was always of utmost importance to me. She tried to be sympathetic and said that women really don’t care, and even prefer non-virgins.

The statistic going around is that men’s marital satisfaction takes a huge hit if they’re not still with their first partner; 15% less likelyhood that they say they’re happy with their marriage. That’s incredibly significant, but even if you hadn’t seen the statistic it’s only common sense that if you’re not his first, then you’re not as special to him as you could be. Do women just have some aversion to being appreciated? why the hell would a woman want a non-virgin? it baffles me.

Oh, shaming, right. I digress. No, other men couldn’t care less about my N count when it comes to being supportive; My ex-wife on the other hand; first sign that the relationship was toxic was when she suggested I cheat on her “because I needed the practice”.

height

I’ve only ever seen guys get shamed for being short by women. I’m really tall and I’ve only ever heard women comment on that in any capacity.

Penis size

If a man ever actully sees my dick I’ll get back to you on that. I can’t imagine they’d say anything about it.

Displaying emotions

Men and women alike are pretty supportive if I ever show emotions, though the few people in my life who have given me flack for it have all been women.

TopOccasion29 · 2019-05-08T06:13:43+00:00

Jesus christ!!! reading these comments make me glad that I'm hung and have satisfied all women I've been with sexually. When women pull my pants down they gasp on how big my penis is.

Thank you God.

alphafox823 · 2019-05-05T19:47:36+00:00

I think the insecurity comes from women and other men at parody, but the actual behavior policing, shaming and bullying definitely comes from other men more.

[deleted] · 2019-05-05T20:27:18+00:00

WRONG.

Women CARE about penis size. Maybe not as much as men but they still care about it. Easily disproved statement. Ask any woman if she would date/marry a guy with micro penis. Or even 3 inch (when hard) penis. It would be deal breaker for majority of women.

Virginity is also shamed mostly by women. Even online! (What are you, a virgin? HAHAHA).Women think virgin men are creepy. Men themselves do not care that much since they have no interest in other men probably, but women generally would not date or even fuck (knowingly) a 35 or 45 year old virgin. A woman may not care if a man is a virgin in his teens but if he is above 20 or god forbid, above 25 and a virgin? HE'S A CREEP must be something wrong with him (and they are not wrong, yes, virgin men usually have issues). Strike two.

Height: yes, women care about it less than men (on the internet) but they still care about height. Especially if a woman herself is quite tall not 5'2 but 5'8 or 5'9

And do not even speak about emotions.

So you are wrong on all your points it is not even funny.

immaculacy · 2019-05-05T20:10:44+00:00

Yeah I think a lot of it is coming from media.

Penis size: Comes from porn.

Virginity: I've only seen media, other guys, and girls who are only interested in hooking up say it's a bad thing. Most girls will be really happy if the guy she likes didn't fuck someone else. I mean that's awesome.

Height: Girls care about this one, but you don't have to be a monster. Just be taller than them usually. If you're teenagers and still growing girls care less about this. Under 5'7 is pretty short but a 5'7 who girls think is hot won't have any problem.

Displaying emotions: I think this one is more so media. Most people don't like to open up too much, cry in public, etc, but men more so. I don't know how much of a problem this is.

oneprettycoolcat · 2019-05-05T20:53:21+00:00

It's just women.

I'm a guy. Outside of work, I don't really need anything from guys, so why would I care about their opinion?

On the other hand, as a heterosexual guy, women have what I desire most in life, so of course their opinion matters. 99% of what women call "toxic masculinity" is driven by women.

willfullyfacetious · 2019-05-05T22:51:59+00:00

money: most women dont care .. oh wait.

[deleted] · 2019-05-06T05:02:10+00:00

In the western world, by women for the most part.

Women dictate what is socially acceptable.

Women can get a man fired or even locked up.

That's in addition to the traditional power of gossip and influence held over the men they are fucking.

Eastuss · 2019-05-06T07:38:40+00:00

So do men feel insecure mostly because of other men or because of women?

Could be both. But you seem to misunderstand one thing. Those aren't irrational insecurities, men actually get rejected for these reasons you list.

Penis size: most women don't care about penis size and most don't want big penises because they hurt. It's men and their porn obsession that makes them insecure.

Wrong. Women care about penis size. Most women would tell you you need to have an average length with GIRTH.

I don't have relatable experience for this though.

Virginity: most women don't care if a guy is a virgin, some even like it. It's men who shame other men about their sexual history and partner count.

I was told this too until I got rejected several times for being a virgin. I had sex when I lied about being a virgin. I have friends who had a similar issue.

Height: most women don't care about height as long as the guy isn't shorter than them.

I thought this too until I got rejected countless times for being short. I thought I had to go for short women so I got to be taller than them, but they all wanted very tall men. All my girlfriends were average height, sometimes taller than me.

Displaying emotions: men call each other pussies and say they're acting like "girls" if they show any emotion that isn't anger.

Same thing but less obvious, if you don't behave masculinely you'll get friendzoned until the ends of times.

I was bullied a lot at some point, but it never really made me insecure because I don't care if I don't attract men, obviously. Bullying is also sorta normal between men. I bullied, I got bullied, it's just normal to tease and banter other men by their obvious defects.

Women, however, actually reject you for these reasons.

Zippo-Cat · 2019-05-06T07:55:39+00:00

There are literally studies out there disproving every single one of your claims.

Don't know what else to tell you. The "interesting point" you saw was complete bullshit.

LinkedFerret69 · 2019-05-05T19:58:48+00:00

Depends on how/why that insecurity exists.

Penis size: if he feels inadequate anc cannot pleasure a woman because he's below three inches, you can blame that on women more than men (even though technically it's internal). But if he feel inadequate at 6 inches, that is mostly men.

Virginity: again, context. Some feel the insecurity becuase it shows them as "unwanted" or "unloveable" by women, as many women do actually care about that status (want a good partner in bed and don't want overly emotionally attachment). Now they wont actively shame them for it, like other men will. So again, context.

Height: I'd say that's more a woman fueled one based on my experience. You see so many women online saying they want a guy 6 feet or taller, which if you aren't can make you feel really insecure.

Displaying emotions: more contextual, but more so men than women.

ohheyhi99 · 2019-05-05T20:16:55+00:00

Women who say that only men shame other men over looks, penis size, height, and vulnerability are as deluded as men who say that only women shame women over looks or that only women care about height. Many people don’t realize the messaging that the opposite sex hears because they’re not personally attuned to it or targeted by it.

There’s also a disturbing trend these days, mostly online, where a sizeable minority of women uses men’s physical traits to evaluate their toxic masculinity. Men and women have done this “looks = character” thing to each other and themselves forever, but this trend feels different because of who it’s coming from. If a man’s physical trait can be associated with moral failure, it frees up “righteous” women to bully him. For example:

Ugly: creepy, threatening, entitled in thinking that he can approach women who perceive themselves as better-looking (even if he takes rejection well)

Smaller penis: must be compensating for his “fragile male ego,” failure at pleasing women

Short: confident = overcompensating, insecure = weak, clearly has a Napoleon complex if he responds negatively to our insults

Vulnerable: “the male ego is so fragile!,” “women don’t owe you their time and emotional labor,” “women struggle everyday and privileged men don’t help, so men should be able to handle their own business”

Fortunately, tons of women don’t believe any of these things. Some women even fight back against these ideas. But there are lots of women who promote these ideas too. It’s harder to brush off what a woman thinks than it is to brush off what a man thinks. And men don’t always know if the woman they just encountered is one of them. For comparison, there’s a lot of men who don’t care about a woman’s n-count, but women don’t always know in advance if they’re talking to a guy who does.

If you use Twitter, search “short guys” or “napoleon complex.” I’m not even short and that stuff still makes me feel insecure. But I usually won’t tell that to women in real life because that’d open me up to being considered weak or entitled to changing women’s preferences.

Bntt89 · 2019-05-05T20:36:43+00:00

Guys do penis shame, me and my friends have said guys won’t get girls cuz the have small dicks. But we don’t actually know their dick size we just say it as an insult. Both men and women virgin shame, both men and women shame men for emotional expression men will call you pussies but women tell men to man up as well and tell them they don’t care unless they bring solutions. Only women height shame, women care more about height.

[deleted] · 2019-05-05T20:53:52+00:00

By other men mostly. Then they blame women for something men do.

FlavFal · 2019-05-05T21:13:09+00:00

Penis size: men really blow this one out of proportion. I'm tired of hearing guys with average sized penises complain like they have micro penises.

Virginity: yes, most women care and would rather not date an adult virgin.

Height: women care about height, but I wouldn't say it's as extreme as some men make it out to be.

Displaying emotions: both men and women are guilty of this one.

Title	Are most male insecurities fueled by women or by other men?
Author	ColCrin
Upvotes	19
Comments	279
Date	May 5, 2019 6:36 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bl19uf/are_most_male_insecurities_fueled_by_women_or_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-most-male-insecurities-fueled-by-women-or-by.255917 https://theredarchive.com/post/255917

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