"Do you have any ideas?" Yes: LEAVE HIM!

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2020-11-18T12:02:11+00:00

[deleted]

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2020-11-18T12:00:43+00:00

I genuinely feel so bad for this woman. She already has a lot of trauma and now her scrote husband is raping her only 6 WEEKS after she's given birth. I wish I could help her somehow. She needs to divorce him immediately for the sake of her and her baby but the comments on the post aren't emphasising that enough.

mshourglasss · 2020-11-18T12:41:50+00:00

This gave me a headache. These men are so depraved it genuinely makes my head hurt

Can you imagine having such little respect for your wife that your willing to subject her to pain and suffering for your meaningless orgasm? I’m sick.

gutsandgorey · 2020-11-18T13:11:42+00:00

She should tell him that she really enjoys ball-stomping. It's not against heterosexuality to stomp on a man's balls and all her ex boyfriends liked it so why shouldn't he. In fact don't even ask just initiate it by kneeing him in the crotch.

Firstdayinhell · 2020-11-18T12:53:26+00:00

Absolutely disgusting. And how she keeps saying she cant argue against it makes me so sad for her. She shouldn't have to argue. No should be enough. She should be recovering in peace and enjoying time with her new child right now. Instead she has to stress about the bullshit that her piece of shit husband is putting her through.

gigi_gigix · 2020-11-18T12:49:51+00:00

They only like anal sex because we don't like it (pickmeishas say they love it - sure you do love). I hope she leaves him and reports him for rape. Dangerous predators need to be locked up.

millenniumY2K · 2020-11-18T13:33:40+00:00

This gives me such anxiety, it sounds completely like my ex. He pressured me daily for anal, would touch my butthole during sex knowing I hated it. Said the same thing when I asked if he’d like it, that he’s straight and that’s different, etc. Eventually he anally raped me and I began figuring out how to leave. It was exhausting. Unfortunately I think about it fairly often, just anger at him and myself. Can someone message her about this sub? I feel bad for her and her child :(

divination__ · 2020-11-18T14:54:54+00:00

Thankfully the top-rated, most awarded comment on this post states that she is being raped, abused, and sexually assaulted on a daily basis, and "communicating" or confronting him might lead to worse outcomes and she needs to plan her escape. Most of the other comments are, of course, 'you need to communicate and tell him you don't like it :)'. Wild how tolerant our society is of male bullshit that people can't even recognise very obvious abuse.

I imagine this will be a terrifying time for this woman. Hopefully she has realised how absolutely fucked up her husband is. I remember when I finally realised that my ex was emotionally and mentally abusing me, and that we weren't just going through a 'rough patch',(thankfully it wasn't physical like what this woman is going through) and the rage I felt was almost incomprehensible and so overwhelming. I really hope she is ok.

Samvanderkamp123 · 2020-11-18T13:14:36+00:00

He understands.

He doesn’t agree.

(Credit Chumplady)

He understands that she doesn’t want it; that it hurts; that she cries.

He understands that if he wears her down, she will give in to keep the peace.

He understands that she has just had a baby, and she has not healed.

She needs to understand that he is a selfish abuser.

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2020-11-18T14:16:25+00:00

2 words: marital rape

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2020-11-18T14:08:29+00:00

There's a disgusting scrote in the comments saying she's "trash" for "lying to him about liking anal" and that he should "divorce him". Why do they have so little empathy?

Noogenesis21 · 2020-11-18T14:26:43+00:00

This is a perfect example of why women MUST have firm boundaries and stop sacrificing our wants and needs for the benefit of others, at the expense of our bodies, minds and souls. Yes he's a selfish uncaring scrote (redundant), but unfortunately she trained him by pretending to like anal, and that if he just presses a few more times she'll give in. The only way this will stop is if she stops violating and sabotaging HERSELF by being honest and telling him that she hates anal sex and will never do it again. And mean it. Unfortunately, I don't see this story having a happy ending; either she'll continue to violate herself by continuing to do the thing she hates, until she becomes so miserable and leaves the scrote...or she honors herself by saying "no more!", in which case it's only a matter of time before scrote decides to cheat on her because mUh PeNIS nEeDs BuTt. Either way it goes, odds are she'll wind up a single mom with a lot of pain and heartache to deal with. My vote is she should leave him ASAP and save herself years of suffering - he's shown who he is, she needs to believe him and cut and run.

Zayelle · 2020-11-18T13:01:41+00:00

She should try to initiate anal sex on him. Let the tables get turned.

chatrebelle · 2020-11-18T13:24:10+00:00

She told him many times she does want it, that it hurt, that his comments make him uncomfortable. HE DOES NOT CARE. Nothing she says can make him understand. It's not lack of communication, it's lack of respect. He only cares about himself. She should leave.

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2020-11-18T14:31:53+00:00

[deleted]

positive_acct · 2020-11-18T14:03:07+00:00

This is all rape.

localgirlcult · 2020-11-18T13:40:02+00:00

That's so sad. She put her body and possibly life on the line to give birth to a child for a man who doesn't love her. She can't get it through her thick head that the man does. not. love. her. It's so scary knowing you tied your life to someone who doesn't care about you. I guess that's why they don't want to know.

Rebelladonna · 2020-11-18T14:46:46+00:00

It breaks my heart that women put up with this shit. I'm so angry for her. What the fuck does she mean she "can't argue against" those things? First of all, she shouldn't HAVE to argue against it. Nonconsensual sex is rape: FULL STOP.

But if she wants to argue against it (just in her own head to reassure herself she's right, because this is not something that should be grounds for argument with him at ALL), how can she NOT? It's fucking easy! Women have to stop giving up and doubting themselves so fucking quickly!

You don't know enough anatomy to argue with his demands that you give him anal when your perineum is torn? Seriously? You don't need to be a doctor to know what is physically hurting on your own body. His lOgiCAL dEbAte there is not the "gotcha" she seems to think it is. Stop giving men's lOgiC so much deference! It's not logic, it's BULLSHIT designed to manipulate you by wearing you down.

And you don't know how to argue against his insane argument that sex between a man and a woman is... GAY?! You have to be kidding me. I just can't even with this. Are there two men in the bed? No? Then it's not gay. Trust me, whatever porn sites he's looking at where men are anally raping women definitely have videos of women pegging men, too, and it's not under the "gay" category. Give me a break.

To be clear, I am angry FOR her, not AT her. Why are women socialized to have such low self esteem and be so fucking accommodating to men, even at their own detriment and physical injury? How did things get like this?

I hate her scrote of a husband so fucking much. He doesn't deserve her at ALL. Any man who makes a debate out of a woman's feelings, her boundaries, or ANYTHING that is not grounds for his lOgIcAL aRgUmEnts should be kicked to the curb immediately. This is only going to get worse. OP, if you see this, PLEASE leave him immediately.

eagleverest · 2020-11-18T13:56:07+00:00

That sub is a shitshow

oddcharm · 2020-11-18T16:09:27+00:00

Omg I read this earlier. This woman is literally typing out how she “had to” perform certain sexual acts and sees nothing wrong with it?! This is sexual abuse plain and simple. You shouldn’t be CRYING while having sex 👎🏽

LevelTurbulent · 2020-11-18T15:23:29+00:00

So he openly abuses her.

Yeah, she needs to leave. He knows what he's doing and he's enjoying abusing her. It's never going to stop.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-11-18T13:22:31+00:00

Oh, this is agonizing. Just fucking leave him already. He doesn't care about her. He doesn't care if she feels good, he doesn't care if she feels bad. She's an object that performs services for him. But at this point, a sex doll could offer him orifices without having to deal with someone's humanity...which is what the useless scrote wants. I'm so sick of hearing about these kinds of marriages which are just so...🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

ConnectYogurtcloset1 · 2020-11-18T13:40:00+00:00

She doesn’t have to leave him it’s a simple fix really. Stop talking and explaining things to men. Explanations just invite “””man logic””” and arguments, as evidenced by this guy’s behavior. Don’t engage!

Just stop doing it. Get up, put your pants on, say NO and leave. Leave the house if you have to and wander the mall, get a pedi, see a movie alone, go to your mom/sister/colleague’s house but be gone for hours. Every single time. He needs you more than you need him and he will get the message.

I hate that women feel like they have to be people pleasers. Just be a so-called bitch and say no, and mean no!

LilyChickadee · 2020-11-18T16:57:45+00:00

People need to call this what it is: coercive rape. Actually let’s just drop the qualifier, it’s rape. 99% of men do this and would never call themselves rapists, but that’s what they are. Look up Germaine Greer’s opinions on “marital rape” for a female-centric viewpoint that we’ve been gaslit into ignoring. COERCIVE RAPE IS RAPE. This story is both horrifying and common.

shutup201 · 2020-11-18T17:51:26+00:00

She's a pleaser (her words). He's with her because he can treat her like this. I hope she comes to her senses soon because this dude is a demon who wants to ruin her for sport. This is pretty enraging and sad.

daglowup · 2020-11-18T20:46:04+00:00

👏Stop having children with NVM 👏

2020-11-18T16:26:33+00:00

Oh my god. This poor woman. Divorce is the only option, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about her.

Bombs_ · 2020-11-18T16:51:28+00:00

That level of depravity is insane. She needs to leave asap, that is rape full point. Porn culture is fking everywhere

Milobear27 · 2020-11-18T18:40:39+00:00

I ran across this the other day. The guy had another similar photo with his baby and then a photo with just the baby.

https://imgur.com/a/5tp50MC

randomgirl34861 · 2020-11-18T22:42:44+00:00

Men get off on anal because women don’t like the act. Here’s how I know this-

I had anal sex before I had vaginal sex. I wasn’t pressured into it. Due to my religious upbringing, it was my idea. It was with my first boyfriend who was HV but not the right guy for me, and who I had been dating for over a year. We wanted to have sex, but didn’t want to lose our ~viiRgiiNiitY-

I know FDS is anti-anal because it is generally uncomfortable, make women feel degraded, poses a lot of risks for us and isn’t necessary since we have vaginas that are actually equipped to be penetrated. Taking into account that I had reacted poorly to the Pill, pregnancy is my worst nightmare and I would never have an abortion... I found anal sex to be a way to connect physically with less worry for me (with a condom always, prep, lube, etc.)

Andddd guess what happened after I discovered that I genuinely do like this act???? I never had anal sex with another man again!!

WHEN YOU TELL MEN YOU LIKE ANAL THEY LITERALLY STOP WANTING IT. This makes me think there’s no way they prefer anal sex over vaginal sex. They only want it because you don’t.

Deadgirl1888 · 2020-11-18T17:33:28+00:00

It's awful to get harrassed constantly and coerced In to anal. I think it's an important question to start asking right when you start dating someone. Act like you're into it so he will tell you the truth. Any guy who is into it will never let it go. He will do everything he can to get you to do it with him.

protectinidentity · 2020-11-18T19:59:11+00:00

Jesus fucking Christ. Every day I’m more and more grateful that I left my abusive husband and am happily living a scrote (and stress) free life.

2020-11-18T22:06:23+00:00

I feel like there are men who saddle the woman with a child to bind her more tightly in the relationship. Pregnancy and having a kid knocks the wind out of a lot of women's sails. "I can't leave because of the kid" and other such nonsense seems to creep in, and then she's been there struggling for another 10 years.

morrigan1618 · 2020-11-18T22:49:21+00:00

Her husband is a disgusting animal who should have never been allowed to reproduce.

hakunnamatatamfs · 2020-11-18T17:20:07+00:00

Wtf? Wtf did I just read? Ugh

mikobaby · 2020-11-18T18:27:17+00:00

What a disgusting abuser. She should enter him with a huge black slong and see how he feels. But for real though, she needs to leave this asshole...but we all know that she won't. It’s really sad.

Repulsive_Incident27 · 2020-11-19T01:00:17+00:00

I can’t even think of something creative/snarky to comment because I’m so disgusted with the husband.

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light_workerx3 · 2020-11-18T17:46:33+00:00

🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮 so sick to my stomach reading this ..

Fitncurly · 2020-11-18T20:10:54+00:00

She needs to document his sexual depravity and inconsideration (if she’s in a state where recording convos are legal she can record him being callous and repeatedly trying to break down her boundaries—also the unwanted touching and assaults), and threaten to divorce and take him to the cleaners if he doesn’t go to therapy and knock it off. This is of course if he’s not a violent lunatic like so many men are. But if he is, she should just go ahead with the divorce (and a new anonymous address!) without saying a word to him.

aquietsword · 2020-11-20T01:10:39+00:00

You tell a toddler multiple times. You tell a grown ass man once. This guy is rapey as fuck and leaving is really the only fucking thing she can do.

Title	"Do you have any ideas?" Yes: LEAVE HIM!
Author	GrapeJuiceEnthusiast
Upvotes	290
Comments	91
Date	November 18, 2020 11:57 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jwei7e/do_you_have_any_ideas_yes_leave_him/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-you-have-any-ideas-yes-leave-him.334720 https://theredarchive.com/post/334720

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