Is this romantic or cheap?

VeronaMoreau · 2020-11-05T00:47:31+00:00

Personally, I would not do a date like this with anyone who was not in an established relationship with me. I will do a picnic date that looks like this. It's well planned, uses an actual picnic set, and both of them dressed for that occasion. But once again, this is an 'established relationship' date not a "getting to know you" date.

Queen_BW · 2020-11-05T00:43:36+00:00

I think its romantic if the guy surprises you with a nice picnic. Definitely not for a first date, more like with someone you´ve known for a while

vitryolic · 2020-11-05T01:14:47+00:00

This is a relationship date, not a dating date

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2020-11-05T00:44:37+00:00

Bottle of wine, looks like charcuterie. Cute date if you're already in a relationship. This shouldn't be a first date.

dollymyfolly · 2020-11-05T01:18:04+00:00

Nice and romantic for an established, official, sexually monogamous relationship

chasingastarl1ght · 2020-11-05T01:15:01+00:00

A well crowded park in a city with an actual proper effort to set up the whole thing (real dishes, good wine, cheese board, etc) with flowers + nice set ups feels like pretty much being creative and putting an effort into organizing a date that is safe but also generous in the present context to me.

Obviously, a dude coming in with a plastic bag, two beers and a bag of chips while you sit on a blanket is a big no.

The challenge is... How do you know what he means if he invited you to a picnic

Icchy24 · 2020-11-05T00:49:14+00:00

Nice basket, wine, roses, charcuterie board. Doesn't look cheap either. Definitely romantic especially if its a surprise

AbundantOverflow · 2020-11-05T00:49:40+00:00

I think the answer depends on the woman and whether she enjoys picnics, but I also think something can be both inexpensive and romantic at the same time. I personally think it’s romantic because it looks like effort was put into it. I enjoy spaces where I can have fun or interesting conversations so adding snacks and libations would make this a fun time with the right guy IMO.

Mella_20 · 2020-11-05T01:42:34+00:00

When you're exclusive I think it's fine, but not for a first date, and it shouldn't be the woman packing all the food/drinks.

KetoKittenAround · 2020-11-05T03:34:28+00:00

A well thought out and executed romantic picnic will cost far more than a fancy date. However, it is still intimate. This type of romance is earned over several dates. He earns the right to plan a thoughtful and worthy event that sets him above alllllllllllllll the others who you could be with.

creamtart_ · 2020-11-05T01:21:10+00:00

Other commenters have already said it but I’ll reinforce the message. Sweet for a relationship occasionally, but not a regular date in general and not at all for first few dates.

iaintgonnacallyou · 2020-11-05T00:42:22+00:00

Does this fall under “home cooked dinner dates”?

redwineandsolitude · 2020-11-05T01:41:24+00:00

One of my favorite memories of all time was an hours-long picnic with my ex when we were head over heels in love. It was nowhere near this elaborate and we didn’t dress up. But it was months into the relationship.

Flightlessbirbz · 2020-11-05T03:10:40+00:00

This is a nice picnic with what looks like wine and good cheese. Most men aren’t going to put this much effort into a picnic tbh, but if they did, it would be a nice date just not for a first date.

bossbabekaren2point0 · 2020-11-05T00:46:10+00:00

I personally like picnics, but others may not. Guess it depends on how it’s done and where it’s at for it to be romantic.

CassieGreen85 · 2020-11-05T02:03:41+00:00

[deleted]

granddaughterwitch · 2020-11-05T10:29:01+00:00

I wouldn't call it cheap, but for a first date, it's not romantic either. I'd call it lowkey stalker vibes.

A first date should:

-Be in a place where people can see you.

-Show thought and effort, but not demonstrate clingy tendencies.

-Be in a place where people can sit comfortably without laying.

This is too intimate for a first date and requires a level of trust that you absolutely should not give to a first date (don't ever let a first date anywhere near your drink). It also crosses the line into too much money and effort, which implies that the man might be trying to love bomb.

If we were already in a relationship, this is a "popping the question" caliber date for me.

cherryspies · 2020-11-05T15:08:11+00:00

Well there is a difference between a full picnic in a flowery open park, and a beer in a paper bag in an alley.. I think it depends if he put some effort into the basket and the location you're good.

_mooness · 2020-11-05T01:27:28+00:00

I want to say this is cute, but in my experience only cheap men ask for picnic dates

AstridRavenGrae · 2020-11-05T06:05:25+00:00

Cute relationship date for sure - my partner and I just did this for Melbourne Cup day this week. Sandwiches, charcuterie board and salad and headed to the local nature reserve for a few hours.

We had a gorgeously relaxing day in the sunshine and then hit the beach for a bit. We tried to get in for a drink at a couple of venues on the way back but everything was fully booked (we’ve just come out of lockdown here). So then we headed back to my place for a movie and we cooked up a roast for dinner.

It was literally the perfect all-day date and exactly what we both needed for some quality time together.

Do I want a picnic for a first date/s though? Nahhhhh, I’m not going to a random park with a stranger.

4E4ME · 2020-11-05T02:36:47+00:00

The only picnic dates I've been on included an outdoor concert that I was very interested in. Just sitting on the ground somewhere with people walking by is never okay for me personally, regardless of how long we've been dating.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2020-11-05T16:54:24+00:00

I could spend $100+ just on charcuterie. Add wine and that’s a pretty high effort, high quality date...

VeronaMoreau · 2020-11-05T01:54:40+00:00

Does he have 5 glasses in his left hand, and he's drinking one in his right? Who else is coming?! Lol

Imaginsanion · 2020-11-05T02:24:01+00:00

I suggested a picnic when he asked me to the park. He insinuated i was a slut. I got a piece of gum and the honor of his social cue ignoring inability to undo my pants.

purasangria · 2020-11-05T13:52:08+00:00

I like this as a date after we’ve been seeing each other a while.

DM_ME_YOUR_KITTENS · 2020-11-05T03:01:24+00:00

I am really repulsed by picnic dates. It’s not even related to FDS or money, I just don’t like them. Before FDS, I had no problem hanging out with men in a park and no problem sitting on the grass. But the moment you bring a blanket into it and want to sit there eating for whatever reason I am extremely turned off.

yolosunshine · 2020-11-05T10:14:54+00:00

If you know each other already it’s romantic.

If this is date 1-exclusive, it is lame

balladwilds · 2020-11-05T11:26:00+00:00

romantic if you're in an established relationship. i think id love that especially if it was a surprise

ChocolateBiscuit96 · 2020-11-05T15:07:33+00:00

Depends on the status of the “relationship”. If this is the talking/dating/getting to know you stage then no, lol. If we’ve been in a relationship for some time, then yeah.

RightStranger · 2020-11-05T16:28:32+00:00

I think this picnic in particular looks high effort, especially the little touches like pink lemonade in a glass carafe, retro basket, and book (poetry to recite and discuss, hopefully). It can be a great way to see how creative he can be when it comes to courting you. I have an appreciation for the fine food so it's important to me that he knows his way around a cheese shop. But like others have said, it's not a good idea to eat food a man brought from home on the first date. This would be my dream date with an established boyfriend.

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2020-11-05T22:28:56+00:00

First date? Terrible idea. Established relationship? Could be romantic but 9/10 times it'll be the woman arranging all this.

I still remember a colleague telling me he was all embarrassed that a girl had put a lot of effort into a romantic picnic when he just wanted to see her to fuck.

sisibunnyxo · 2020-11-06T04:35:29+00:00

I think this is acceptable if I've already been on a number of dates with that person, we've established a good relationship and I trust them. I think it's all about how it's set up and planned at that point.

If with the right person who I know well and somewhat like what's pictured - roses, charcuterie board, good wine and proper glasses to pour them in, remembering my favourite foods, planned on a day with good weather etc - then I'm happy.

2020-11-06T06:58:16+00:00

A real picnic is not cheap. There are certain kinds of foods that are picnic foods. If we're talking shitty sandwiches on Wonderbread in an alley somewhere, yeah that's cheap. If it's a full spread with proper wine/champagne in a nice location and obvious thought put into it, that's romantic.

____4444 · 2020-11-06T19:34:44+00:00

agree w. the other comments it’s something a boyfriend etc does but not a first/first couple of dates. i think it would be a cute idea if planned out well and ofc depending on what he’s bringing!

devoushka · 2020-11-07T18:44:21+00:00

This actually takes more planning than just showing up to a restaurant. If he actually provides good quality champagne, homemade food, snacks, etc I'd be pleased by a date like this. Not as a first date but as a 4th or 5th date I'd be down.

just-peepin-at-u · 2020-11-05T02:43:17+00:00

That looks nice!

FriendlyPitch1 · 2020-11-05T09:09:18+00:00

This looks so cute. I would never let a guy go if he did this as a date for me 😍

Twolipz_78 · 2020-11-05T03:00:46+00:00

Well that depends is he still living with his ex even though they’re not romantically involved and that he has to be (extremely) involved with her out of necessity?

Half_Halt · 2020-11-05T20:41:06+00:00

It's not a cheap date. At least not as pictured with a wine flight & high end charcuterie. Personally, I don't find it a good first date. For subsequent dates I like it, though. It requires forethought & planning to pull this off. As a 40 something with a few relationships with lazy a$$ men under my belt, demonstrated ability to plan & follow through are important criteria by which I evaluate men now.

Title	Is this romantic or cheap?
Author	iaintgonnacallyou
Upvotes	179
Comments	67
Date	November 5, 2020 12:40 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jo8pz4/is_this_romantic_or_cheap/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-this-romantic-or-cheap.736854 https://theredarchive.com/post/736854

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