as a woman, the biggest fear you have with men and dating is meeting or marrying a guy that is violent, or will be violent with you.

men aren't afraid of women being violent with them, the fear of losing their life physically by the hands of a woman is not something most men care about actively,

they're afraid of a woman having covert manipulative behaviors, men are scared of women not being loyal and cheating at any time, taking his kids and half his finances in the process.

Basically destroying their life. Nowadays you don't even have to be married for the woman to legally be able to take half your things and acquire alimony from you for the rest of her life.

that is why men care about loyalty, judging women on their promiscuity

in marriage or dating, if she hasn't had sex a lot it shows that she doesn't derive pleasure from casual sex and she doesn't need validation from many men, she most likely values deep relationships more with one man.

therefore she is less likely to chase that desire within a relationship with other men.

Therefore there is less fear that she will divorce rape you or take your kids away.

now women, if you found out that your boyfriend has punched/assaulted 20 women before dating you, would you not be worried that he will end up being aggressively disloyal and violate you physically? and would you not be more worried if you found out from someone else that he hid the fact that he had an extraordinarily violent past with women?

if you found out he was only in a few violent situations with women, most women wouldn't see that as an immediate red flag but would still take notice, as do men with women that only had a handful of sexual partners, but after a certain number both rightfully start seeing it as a red flag.

I know many older friends that have been fucked over in divorce or had girlfriends use them for money, cheat on them and take half their things just because they lived with him for 2 years.

all of the guys i know that had this happen to them say that the women had many previous sexual partners, (now im not saying all women were whores that did this, but a vast majority of them were)

Women aren't afraid men will take half their stuff or kids because women rarely have enough money to for them to worry and the kids are always rewarded to women in most cases

men get the same trauma and become bitter and jaded from these experiences as women that were abused.

that's why men pay attention to how many partners a woman has had casually before and how much validation they need from men sexually.