Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.

CodeCody23 · 2021-05-21T20:51:04+00:00

Lol if you think young single moms are seen as appealing, or beacons of society then you aren’t paying attention. It’s also not entirely up to them as to whether they get married. The man doesn’t want to marry them.

superlurkage · 2021-05-21T20:51:33+00:00

Where is this world you live in where single mothers are never criticized or judged?

DXBrigade · 2021-05-21T20:52:39+00:00

It depends. My parents never got married and they are still together.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-05-21T21:05:48+00:00

What makes you think they had no intention of marrying those men, and why don’t the men deserve to be shamed as well for knocking up the women without marrying them? Women aren’t getting pregnant by themselves.

CubicleHermit · 2021-05-21T22:08:10+00:00

Marriage is irrelevant; there are plenty of people in unstable marriages or who are married but too poor to adequately support kids, and there are plenty of people who have long-term unmarried partnerships which are stable enough that there's no problem raising kids, as well as some purely single parents who have adequate resources to raise kids on their own.

People have been having kids they can't support for as long as there have been people, and there's plenty of shame around that already, we don't need more - instead, what we need is better education, better access to birth control and abortion, subsidized or free child care, and better security for the aged (seriously, the "my kids are my retirement plan" thing is still around.)

If you're going to shame anyone, shame the politicians who don't support social structures to let people support their kids better.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-05-21T22:40:32+00:00

Umm yeah that’s already more than lightly shamed. Most single moms had full intent to marry the father, or were married to the father at one point. Let’s shame men who knock women up and leave. Well, we already do, but yeah. Most of the time, nobody intended to end up a single parent. Maybe bad choices were made, or maybe shit just happened. What we really need to do is encourage diligent birth control use until everyone is absolute sure they are ready for kids.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-05-21T23:17:31+00:00

The men on this sub confuse me more everyday. Marriage should be done away with because it harms men and women should be ok with being forever girlfriends because if you really love a man you wouldn’t force him into a legally binding contract where he risks everything. Yet you should be ashamed of yourself if you have kids with a man you’re not married to. But you can’t be unmarried with no kids either because then you’re a selfish sad cat mom who’ll die alone.

This is what you get when more and more people are anti-marriage. You’re either going to have swathes of single parent homes or a plummeting birth rate. Neither are things most of society actually want but you’re going to have to accept and tolerate one of them. Pick your poison.

looozooop · 2021-05-22T02:15:00+00:00

Single moms are literally shamed all the time... are you new here?

Sage_Planter · 2021-05-21T20:51:55+00:00

Men who have kids with women they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.

It takes two to tango, buddy. Why are you putting all the blame on the women for getting pregnant? It's the responsibility of both parties to practice safe sex and take precautions if a baby isn't a desired result of sex. High school girls don't just magically get pregnant on their own.

Also, why do you think most of them are struggling? A U.S. Census report estimates that just 43.5 percent of custodial parents get the full amount of support they're entitled to. And more than 30 percent don't receive anything at all. Why aren't we shaming people who don't pay their child support?

The real evil here is the lack of proper sex education, lack of access to affordable birth control, and the lack of abortion options.

TimelessMystic · 2021-05-21T21:12:56+00:00

Whether a person is married or not doesn't have to be shamed. People should be free to decide how they want to live and how to show their love. Institutionalized marriage is one of the things I believe we are better without. Not everyone wants to live traditionally molded lives. Some people want to stay independent and marriage is a thing that confines them.

With that being said, women should be shamed for being with someone who doesn't want kids (and she knows), while wanting to have kids herself.

zerofeetpersecond · 2021-05-22T07:45:43+00:00

Single moms with kids should be shamed for going after single men without kids. Unless the guy creates dialogue first, single moms have no business being hypergamous again.

LMM-GT02 · 2021-05-23T18:30:05+00:00

No they should be heavily shamed. You know that them and their children will likely never be net tax revenue contributors.

Generations of tax deficits dragging us down. I wish there was no right to have children because of all the horrible people that do. Fucking raw shouldn’t entail more taxes for everyone else.

Your children are only your world, to everyone else they are just human larvae that costs money.

SychoNot · 2021-05-24T20:17:01+00:00

Yeah my brother got used as a sperm donor. Knocked up a girl he wasn’t even dating but she was adamant about keeping it. Baby momma could give 2 shits if her son has a relationship with his dad. I’d go as far to say she would prefer he didn’t. She just wants child support and to be able to dictate the poor kids every breath and step he takes. I think some women see kids as a vehicle to bail out of their dysfunctional life.

poweroverwhelmingg · 2021-05-22T03:54:55+00:00

They should for sure be shamed, and not lightly. Its absolutely ridiculous that women are sexually active with someone they don't want to be with and NOT taking birth control. It's past unacceptable how often it is, and the ones that truly suffer are the children.

They act all surprised when a kid is on the way.. like how are you surprised? That's how it is MEANT to work. And every time I ask one of them (there's an INSANE saturated amount of single mothers in the dating community with toddlers) why they weren't on birth control if they did not want a kid at the time, and were having sex, the vast majority of them say "well.. uh I wasn't having sex at the time) ...what? Ok Mary Magdalene.

That's part of the issue. There is no shame, so there is no correction. Its reckless, incredibly stupid, and a determent of society and the kid. While were on it, her and the dad need to TRY TO WORK IT OUT. I don't see how people have sex for 4 years and as SOON as the baby touches down they split. Government is too supportive of it and incentivizing it. A child performs BEST with the father AND the mother in the household.

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EviessVeralan · 2021-05-21T22:52:31+00:00

Single parenthood should be more stigmatized then it currently is.

blueXcat · 2021-05-21T23:56:49+00:00

Of not spend their life with *

Marriage is just making it social official

2021-05-22T00:55:11+00:00

What about the ones who live like a married couple, but just never bothered with the paperwork?

Impressive-Spot-1191 · 2021-05-22T03:49:59+00:00

'lightly' shamed

nah, people who contribute to single parenthood under these circumstances should be heavily shamed

m0isturizeme · 2021-05-22T04:19:11+00:00

No, I don't think they should be shamed, what's done is done. They should have been (heavily) educated, much earlier.

mechanical_elves · 2021-05-22T07:07:33+00:00

Instead of shaming, receiving government aid should be conditional upon a verified hysterectomy. For the damage they cause to society, it's entirely justified.

To say "it's behavior doesn't strengthen society" is a ridiculous understatement. Single motherhood leads to a significant increase in children who grow up to be drug abusers, be gang members, be expelled from school, be committed to reform institutions, and become juvenile murderers.

Statistically speaking, single mothers are a cancer on society and a failure to their children.

Crafty-Particular998 · 2021-05-22T08:40:32+00:00

This is ridiculous because you can’t predict life. Marriages can fall apart after 15 years and your kids get caught up in it, is that more stable than just having your parents living separately in the first place? If a woman is knocked up by accident, should she be forced to get an abortion if she doesn’t want one?

Shit happens, life is unpredictable. All these rules and norms people come up with for how to do things properly are ridiculous.

JB8511R · 2021-05-22T16:06:21+00:00

More than lightly

midwestufohunter · 2021-05-22T21:01:35+00:00

Show me the study that says shaming results in behavior change.

Gilmoregirlin · 2021-05-23T02:26:52+00:00

Shaming lightly or not is meaningless to the people that are being “shamed.” The only person it effects at all is the shamer who it makes feel slighter better as if he or she is somehow making society better or enforcing some sort of societal norms, just like you OP. You think that by ”lightly shaming” these women you will somehow prevent this behavior in the future by other women and therefore I guess prevent someone’s pain and maybe that makes you feel better like you are helping society? But you are not. They don’t care what you are anyone else thinks, so what is the purpose of shaming? What’s your point?

zerofeetpersecond · 2021-05-23T19:38:09+00:00

The real problem isn’t a lack of men wanting to be husbands or fathers, it’s that the men who want to be husbands and fathers aren’t always the most attractive sexually. Women need to choose a man as if each quality he has is a player on a team. The right batch of qualities makes him “complete.” They don’t want though, they just want the all madden team or the EA allstar team with the game set to easy mode.

2021-05-24T02:14:49+00:00

"lightly shamed"

lol

Make them walk through the streets wtih a parade in tow, a big band - a whole damn orchestra in full song

"DAMN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN"

BA BA BA BA BA

Then the Pope is brought in and he begins to speak

"All ye bow to this wonder of freedom and beauty that allowed this cretin to spill his seed inside her, she is joy, she is wisdom, she is life"

But in all seriousness, hormones - life is chaos for many years for many people - impulsive acts and infantilism is very common, so shaming the women is not the cure, education - and the teaching of independence of mind - but that shit takes REAL WORK, shaming is just misery on top of misery.

Mustbeaight · 2021-05-21T21:05:10+00:00

They already are but my problem isn’t so much the shaming.. the problem is that daddy government provides a safety net for her bad decisions thus incentivizing it

JazziestCabbage · 2021-05-22T08:10:32+00:00

It is much better to be a single parent than drag a child through the mud of a dysfunctional relationship. One parent who isn't in conflict is better than two who are in conflict. I do not think women should be shamed for being single mothers, in many cases it is more responsible than the alternative, which is a poor marriage or dating.

Title	Women who have kids with men they have no intention of marrying should be (lightly) shamed.
Author	Danielcraigboston1
Upvotes	12
Comments	219
Date	May 21, 2021 8:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ni2gva/women_who_have_kids_with_men_they_have_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-who-have-kids-with-men-they-have-no.753431 https://theredarchive.com/post/753431

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