The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 11 - FDS Gets Entangled with Sex Work Twitter

Icefind · 2021-05-19T07:37:55+00:00

This episode was truth bomb after truth bomb! Extra thanks for talking about sugar babys. I'm so happy to have found this corner of the sex work critical internet, when I feel like the odd one out in the real world that normalizes porn and media constantly pumping out stories that are basically onlyfans promo. Only thing that stuck out to me was using the sentence "woman got strangled". I prefer to say "a man murdered/raped/strangled this woman", as in there's an active attacker doing these things to women. I really dislike language that erases the attacker, as in women just wander in these situations and get themselves strangled. I think we've heard enough rough sex defenses at court.

KevlarSweetheart · 2021-05-19T06:51:42+00:00

I know Lilith was joking around but when she was explaning the sugar baby part, I could tell it was hard for her to talk about. Thanks to you three for being so honest about your experieces and opinions.

cliterally_speaking · 2021-05-19T05:45:20+00:00

Anyone else listening to the podcast on repeat? 🙋🏽‍♀️

2021-05-19T08:52:40+00:00

17:36

The blue tick sex workers on twitter attacking Laila Micklethwait are just the PR arm of Mindgeek. They control the "performers" twitter accounts and its content.

The "christian right wing conspiracy" was just a PR attack by Big Porn agents.

MorthaP · 2021-05-19T12:40:20+00:00

It's not entirely the same, but I worked in a company for a while that developed web sites where men would be able to pay for live cams etc. I was just a developer but from what I experienced in that time I can tell you men do not have a single ounce of respect for a sex worker or even just a woman they don't know who is presented in a sexual context.

Muffcakelord · 2021-05-19T16:23:44+00:00

PROSTITUTION SHOULD NOT BE A BAND-AID FOR THE FAILURES OF CAPITALISM

Also..
"There's almost no homeless women! Men obviously are underprivileged"
Yeah women "choose" to get paid for being raped seeing as the counter-option is getting raped without pay, big shock. As if it wasn't obvious: the reason we don't see homeless women as much is because it's super dangerous to be a woman on the street let alone being a woman CONSTANTLY on the streets without anyone reliable to protect them, especially when the police is part of the problem.

This episode is one of the undeniable examples on how literally ANY argument against feminism or what FDS stands for is SO easily countered. Literally all anti-FDS people are saying are blatant lies. "You want sex-work to end because you hate sex-workers" yeah us wanting for any sex-worker to have a pleasant, safe and more comfortable life truly is the best way to showcase hatred isn't it?

THE BODY KEEPS COUNT

This point is chilling to me. I've often wondered why women suffer so much more medical complications than men on average despite the clear fact that they're also healthier in every way statistically. Many argue that it's just because men refuse to go to the doc's, but in reality i think women are on average surpressing more pain than men are. Men are mostly lazy meanwhile women will be in deadly pain while also knowing that there's a 1% chance their doctor will actually help them rather than fat-shame them and send them home, give them some bullshit painkillers and send them home, or ask them to stress less and go home. Alongside the fact that women carry the natural burden of producing life, which of course awakes for complications, i believe the amount of trauma the majority of women go through all over the world has a BIG say in why they're so much more physically messed up. IBS is almost a given and whenever researching it, it's one of those few cases where most of the content creators/authors are women. Stress and depression is so common it's also basically a given, whereof when men experience the same deal, they tend to freak out and get violent seeing as it's not a given for them and they're not as generally used to it - they feel entitled to being healthy, comfortable and served right.

Women are suffering to their core and they should as a group be sick and tired of the way most people pretend that their lifestyle and treatment is at all OK. We deserve more!

Illustrious_Dream751 · 2021-05-21T04:01:17+00:00

Made a Reddit account just to say this. When you said "I don't hate sex workers, when I see a sex worker I think she's not that different than me, she's one of my sisters" I had to pause it because I broke down crying. It brought to the surface so many emotions I didn't even know I had. All this time I was thinking SWERFs were my enemy but it made me realize this is just another way to keep women divided and fighting each other instead of patriarchy. You 3 ladies talk about us in a more humanising way than most of my clients.

I'm an escort and camgirl and I found Female Dating Strategy because of that Twitter thread. I admit at first I was caught up in the heat of the moment and thought it was highly tone deaf and offensive. But as soon as I listened to the Male Socialization episode of the podcast I was hooked. Immediately binged all of the other episodes and was left hungry for more. Thank you so much for addressing what you meant by those tweets, this episode may just have saved my life.

Since listening to that episode yesterday I was tossing and turning all night re-evaluating my life. "What the fuck am I doing? I have a degree. I don't need to be doing this. I'm not even making that much money. When I was a little girl I had all these dreams about changing the world and now I'm sleeping with old men for money. I dissociate every time I have sex. What the fuck am I doing with my life"

Browsing the subreddit today solidified my decision that I need to quit this line of work. It's making me depressed and when I'm not working I just lie in bed looking at memes to distract me from feeling like shit about myself. All of you ladies inspired me to actually put my degree (social work) to good use. My dream now is to become a social worker who supports other sex workers, I hope to use my experience to help them leave this industry and transition to civilian work.

Sorry for the long comment, I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you so much for all the work you do and I'm sorry for the mean stuff I said about you. The way that you keep doing what you do despite all the crap you get is admirable. Please, never give up, don't get burned out, keep fighting. You are saving people's lives.

PS my ears pricked up when one of you mentioned whorephobia and said you had more to say about it later in the episode but then didn't mention it again. I'm curious to know what you meant by that, maybe you could elaborate in a future episode? Thanks!

_Amarantos · 2021-05-19T05:24:43+00:00

oh hell yeah. randomly being up super late pays off.

camelCaseC · 2021-05-19T16:20:54+00:00

Thank you for talking about Sugar Babying. I hope every young woman hears about it and listens so we can undo some of the grooming. It rings true to my experiences, as well, and I wish this subreddit and podcast existed before I joined and got traumatized for life.

souredskittles · 2021-05-19T07:10:25+00:00

Aw shitttt, I’m ready for this. Probably my favorite fds beef.

Exaustedqueen · 2021-05-19T21:22:11+00:00

Man I almost threw up remembering my """sugar baby"'" experiences oof. And I was 25! Imagine experiencing that at NINETEEN... I hate this world.

dominicanpowerhouse · 2021-05-20T06:04:48+00:00

Lilith is such a strong beautiful person to speak so openly about her experiences as a sugar baby. I think many women at one point in their life consider some variation of using our bodies for some type of gain (nice things, money, etc) . It was hella refreshing to get her take on it. The whole "the body remembers" is killing me tho...my mind has definitely rationalized some fucking awful behavior. Gunna have to do more research

TululahJayne · 2021-05-19T18:03:33+00:00

What's the most masculine(toxic) thing you can think of?

For me it's denying there is a problem and then turning on the person who brought it up so there is no reason for you to actually look inside and change your mind and actions. Toxic masculinity to me is hiding the problems, ignoring the problems, because actual change and "soul searching" so to speak, is an ardous life long struggle.

This is what the men (and women) complicit in the Porn industry are doing to us, when we state FACTS on Twitter and anywhere else. Of course the world's most sinister and evil men want to turn marginalized women against truth. It doesn't benefit them if they believe the truth and trust other women(FDS)!!!

Honestly i can't even think straight to write this comment. Best podcast ever! I cried a few times during this one and can relate to feeling exhausted after trying to explain my point to LibFems friends. This stuff matters so damn much to me. I can't see anything else because it's so glaringly obvious once you exhale and open your eyes.

Women who are lurking this sub, PLEASE just exhale and open your mind. There is no need to push the happy prostituted woman narrative. It does not apply.

cherry_blossom_szn · 2021-05-19T15:02:25+00:00

Amazing episode as usual ladies. I wish I could put this podcast in an IV bag so I could get a steady drip of this energy all week

Blindtothesided · 2021-05-21T04:47:14+00:00

Oh man, I listened last night before bed and honestly I was in tears over Lilith. THAT, my friends, is a woman who has learned from her past. She was incredibly brave to share that aspect of her life with us and I commend the hell out of her for that.

The thing is, when one of us shares a traumatic experience and gets vulnerable with it, it helps to heal us ALL. Because you never know who is currently going through something you've been through and who can benefit from your vulnerability.

I've been more honest on this sub about what I'm currently going through than I've been with any of my IRL friends. In fact, most of my IRL friends don't even know my engagement is off (they were discouraging as hell to me when he was clearly cheating and I've cut them out of my life for it). I don't know about the rest of you, but I draw a lot of strength from your stories and personal experiences. Sharing is how we relate, and relating, identifying ourselves in others' stories, is how we heal.

So, Lilith, thank you for sharing your experiences. We recognize it was NOT easy to talk about and we love you for letting us in.

foodgrowerfoodeater · 2021-05-19T18:38:15+00:00

Not OF being an MLM 😭😭 thank you

throwitawayuserna213 · 2021-05-19T15:21:36+00:00

A few minutes in and excellent content so far as usual. I do have one question. Idk if I should have picked this up from the podcast or missed it or what not, and not to derail any conversation or good points being made, but curious why the onus seems to be put solely at the feet of women (SWs) to disclose the men's use/cheating and not at the men who are the ones doing the cheating? My thought is the fault lies with the men to disclose, which they won't, and they are the scumbags. I may have missed the point of that tweet.

WeirdRockbaby · 2021-05-19T14:25:34+00:00

Awesome episode. 💖👑🍾🥂💖

Wonderrednow · 2021-05-20T15:36:39+00:00

This was a great episode that needs to be shared widely. Honestly it convinced me to financially support the podcast. I truly believe this is an important platform for young women. Thank you ladies for all that you're doing.

gigababejfl_ · 2021-05-19T23:27:19+00:00

I'm about to listen to my faves in a little while. My body is reddy!!

ledvagen · 2021-05-19T15:58:19+00:00

What incentive would a sex worker have to challenge their client on their opinions of their wife or girlfriend? You can't consider yourself a therapist if you have a financial incentive to please your client AND you're not a fucking trained therapist, stop lying!

WittyImprovement · 2021-05-19T15:16:29+00:00

Did the episode get deleted? I'm not able to see it on my Spotify. The latest one it shows is last week's

Maingurl · 2021-05-20T00:28:20+00:00

Drama! I'll be listening!

Jai_Kali · 2021-05-21T12:55:25+00:00

"You're never going to find empowerment at the end of a man's penis." Yes!

Such a good episode. All the hosts are so articulate.

allthedates2018 · 2021-05-19T18:40:29+00:00

Lol I love that Alberta featured on this one. I'll let JT know so he can log the CanCon.

dogfart4 · 2021-05-20T19:57:16+00:00

Best episode yet, ladies! Great job!

Mango-Jello · 2021-05-25T01:56:56+00:00

I also used to do the whole sugar baby thing. The girls that say it's not just straight up sex work are fooling themselves. At the time I thought it was great! All these dudes lining up to give me money!

I was talking to several men. I remember at one point, a PROFESSOR of a nearby University reached out to me. (I was from out of state, so I was "safe" for him) He wanted anal, gave me more than a months rent for it, and when I said no and tried to return the money, he told me to keep it out of "goodwill". 2 months later with no contact, he reached out and asked for anal, AGAIN! When I turned him down again, he got angry, called me autistic and a gold digger.... Um, ok?

I went on "dates" with guys that were probably sleeping with several girls younger than their daughters. Guys that don't want to get STD tested, guys that claim they can't wear condoms, some who tried to haggle down the "price" I put on myself. And of course, like they said in the podcast, men that complained about their wives to me! So much bullshittery! 🤮

There were, and probably still are, articles about how great it was, and how to be a better sugar baby for your "daddies". And how to avoid "Splenda" daddies, etc.

It definitely felt like they were creating this narrative that everyone should do this, it's great! Why aren't you doing this right now?!

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-05-20T13:55:04+00:00

Can you do a podcast on the wall?

abstractsadgurl · 2021-05-22T00:17:17+00:00

Lilith is a queen 👑

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Okami-Sama19 · 2021-05-24T18:39:16+00:00

I got desperate for some fast easy money, and I used my previous Reddit account to throw up porn of myself in different Reddit's.

I really only had one session with a guy who gave me 25usd to degrade him while I was naked too.

I've also felt like a person working a client during my hefty casual sex days and it felt like I was doing something awesome.

I can't feel jealousy towards others with only fans, but yes the supposed empowerment was just degrading and I felt like my soul was dying.

Doing better now purely because of fds, thank you for the pod casts.

freerollerskates · 2021-05-25T14:58:28+00:00

I've made this comment before on here, but it bears repeating since it was discussed on the podcast: if anyone is going to die from lack of sex it is women.

There have been studies done on Catholic nuns that indicate that a lack of child bearing increases the incidence of certain feminine cancers (breasts, ovaries, womb - obviously cervical cancer risk is increased by HPV)

These nuns were from different communities around the world and the only thing they had medically in common was being women who had not had any children.

Similar phenomena has not been observed in male celibate communities.

In addition, regular orgasms which cause the womb to contract can help to prevent uterine prolapse, which is not necessarily life threatening, but is life-limiting for the women who suffer from it and can often lead to hysterectomy.

Perhaps those of us who are celibate by choice or standards should be provided with an attractive eunuch to fulfil our needs? Just putting it out there... It's healthcare!

The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 11 - FDS Gets Entangled with Sex Work Twitter

There is a fundraiser for $10,000 going on to help grow FDS so they can make more content!!

Comments

Title	The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 11 - FDS Gets Entangled with Sex Work Twitter
Author	SnarkSticks
Upvotes	145
Comments	69
Date	May 19, 2021 5:10 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nfwr25/the_female_dating_strategy_podcast_ep_11_fds_gets/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-female-dating-strategy-podcast-ep-11-fds-gets.754374 https://theredarchive.com/post/754374