Is it possible for amazing personalties in men to override looks?

Pilling_it · 2021-04-20T12:06:27+00:00

Looks get you in the door, personality keeps you inside. In that order.

You won't get a chance to showcase your personality if you can't attract her to begin with. And you'll see her cutting more slack to hotter men, and decide it's not worth it.

On the flip side, you can use charisma in low inhibition places (read with alcohol), and that certainly plays.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-04-20T12:04:53+00:00

Well yes there is still a minimum looks threshold, if you're talkin about an average guy getting a girl that's above him League wise like let's say the guy is a five and the girl is like a 7, if we're just talking about an online dating profile pretty much absolutely not, not saying it can't happen but no. Now if they happen to be in the same class or work at the same job, something like that, if he definitely has that kind of personality and charm and can make her laugh yes it can happen

Chaddamhusein · 2021-04-20T13:09:07+00:00

If an average guy is given a chance to show his amazing outgoing fun personality

This is a big if

annabeelongx · 2021-04-20T13:41:45+00:00

[deleted]

Aldabruzzo · 2021-04-20T14:11:14+00:00

Its commonly believed that woman find personality more important if a minimum looks threshold is met.

This isn't exactly correct. First you get past the looks threshold, then she's evaluating you on everything else. It's not that personality is "more important" than looks. It's that the looks requirement is satisfied, so she can now go on to assess other things in this man.

If an average guy is given a chance to show his amazing outgoing, fun personality how much can this override his looks?

The average (looking) guy can get past some women's looks thresholds, and then he will make or break it on his personality.

hesipullupjimbo445 · 2021-04-20T17:35:14+00:00

Only if he’s average looking because an average guy can at least get his foot in the door. Women are chain locking the door if they sense an ugly guy.

Bandit174 · 2021-04-20T18:28:43+00:00

Depends on how bad the looks are. Realistically most ugly people have average personalities and most hot people also have average personalities. Furthermore, looks impact how personality is perceived more than personality impacts how looks are perceived so if you had the option to improve your looks or personality you'd notice a bigger impact in your dating success by improving your looks.

throwaway1643 · 2021-04-20T12:16:38+00:00

Nah, next question please

2021-04-20T12:18:41+00:00

evanstown21 · 2021-04-20T12:17:13+00:00

How ugly is ugly? Because most people are not ugly. They’re just poor. Anyone can be hot if you have enough money. But let’s say you’re just average aka nothing particularly stands out, you’re just gonna have to bring something else whether that’s style, charm or talent and you need to play to your environment. That can influence attraction a lot. I’ve met some pretty homely looking guys dating fairly cute girls (not like a 3 dating a 10 but like a 6 with an 8) because they were really good at whatever hobby/interest that she was into. The other option is that your personality is great and you’re so charming that you’re perceived to be ultra likable and the “life of the party” among your mutual social group and that comes across in a very attractive way, especially to women who might themselves not have that same social capital. They’ll see that as an admirable skill

FreierSteinkopf · 2021-04-20T12:10:31+00:00

Looks rule above anything else. Personality outsoide of confidence and leader skills are not that important for reproduction thus not that important to a women.

John_Oakman · 2021-04-20T12:08:04+00:00

Statistically possible but not really relevant in the context of this subreddit.

_lemazaki · 2021-04-20T13:12:35+00:00

Yes. The problem is the "chance"... this is better with women that you know and see in regular basis.

Five_Decades · 2021-04-21T00:26:31+00:00

My understanding of a study of women and their moms, a man's personality only matters if he has enough SMV for the woman to see him as a sexual creature. If you lack that, personality doesn't matter.

It goes in the opposite direction too. A woman can have an amazing personality but if she doesn't have enough SMV for you to view her as a sexual being, it doesn't matter.

At the end of the day we're all unconsciously calculating whether someone is a sexual creature or not. People generally aren't categorizing people as ugly, below average, average, above average, etc. They're mostly just calculating people as sexual creatures or non-sexual.

Having said that, there is leeway. If you like and respect someone's personality, you are more likely to find them attractive. Studies by David Sloan WIlson have found that whether you like or respect someone as a person can play a role of about 60% of whether you find someone attractive or not.

goatismycopilot · 2021-04-20T14:06:27+00:00

No. However, very few men have amazing personalities. A much larger group of people think they have them than actually have them.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-04-20T14:57:46+00:00

For some women it does, for some it doesn't. For me it doesn't. I just can't get over it and nothing can make me grow physical attraction. I've tried plenty.

What really happens is I become tolerant of his personality or so wrapped up in the mental stuff, that I can fool myself into enjoying his presence but never want to touch him, have sex, be close to him and find his physical presence irritating and bothersome.

The poor man really doesn't pick this up because I am so enthralled with his personality and overestimates my attraction.

It really isn't a good way to be. It took some reflection to figure out how I could dislike being around someone I cared for so much and never wanted to hurt.

avolcando · 2021-04-20T11:55:17+00:00

Its commonly believed that woman find personality more important if a minimum looks threshold is met

Maybe by boomers, women want attractive guys because they're attracted to attractive guys (the hint is in the name).

If an average guy is given a chance to show his amazing outgoing, fun personality how much can this override his looks?

Why does an average guy need to "override his looks"? Average guys get into relationships all the time.

Psychological_Wear_7 · 2021-04-20T11:54:43+00:00

Never seen it with my own two eyes, but maybe the women here do.

Who knows

iamthemovie1992 · 2021-04-20T12:47:25+00:00

For a relationship? I mean there’s for sure a limit. But I think you can do like 1 or 2 points below her preference if your personality is truly amazing and they are very compatible. There is an LTR threshold, and while it may be lower than it is for casual sex.

For casual sex? Not a chance in hell, that shit is based off looks and looks alone. Sure you can still fail because you have the wrong personality, but if you don’t have the looks to start with you don’t even get to the qualifying round

rft24 · 2021-04-20T15:11:36+00:00

the simple answer: yes.

you just have to find a woman who prioritizes personality over looks.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-04-20T13:48:46+00:00

The hottest woman I know IRL is married to a 4 at best, who's got a good but normal job.

I know many very attractive women with average men.

So something is going on there.

The other issue is type though which seems stronger in some women than in men in my observation.

I'm a 5-6 at best my wife is a 8. (We did some rateme stuff for fun a few years ago). She was completely into me though when we met and she didn't really know my personality, she said she was literally shaking when I called her after meeting her at a party she was so nervous talking to me and didn't think I would call her. I am "her type" and some guys which are very attractive to most women don't do it for her (I know her type being we are swingers in case anyone thinks she's lying). She likes men who look like men so to speak. I have known other women with types like that, some to the extent you would assume the guy was rich but really she was just into that.

This muddies the water on personality or looks I think more than it does for men. While some men are into different types or have a preferred types, I think on the whole women have a wider range of "I like to do him" over men. Men might be less choosy in the act but most porn is of one type of woman for a reason. You have to search for stuff like BBW porn, it doesn't show up on the main page because its a nitch thing.

cowfishAreReal · 2021-04-20T12:28:42+00:00

For ltr absolutely yes. Personality is more important for relacionado. But if you want to have one night stands with randos than no people don't care about your personality if they don't plan on ever speaking with you again.

f an average guy is given a chance to show his amazing outgoing, fun personality how much can this override his looks?

Again for relationships a LOT, but it's also a matter of compatibility, permite doesn't have a ranking of objectively better personalities, each woman will have a different opinion on what personality is more disarable

bowserfire73 · 2021-04-20T13:28:39+00:00

Think about it. Personality can't do anything when you don't have the opportunity to show it. Its not a variable in the equation, so how would it change the outcome?

davidfosford21 · 2021-04-20T14:26:16+00:00

depends, if you're talking about HVM with options, then no, if you're talking about an average joe, then yes probably

SuitableStart · 2021-04-20T14:28:07+00:00

No, personality only matters if you have something to work with.

2021-04-20T14:28:21+00:00

Over time yes, irrespective of gender. Boredom is bad.

SaBahRub · 2021-04-20T14:43:09+00:00

Duh.

The human race is diverse, after all. There might even be ugly women who do well because of personality, but they are probably much rarer

mechanical_elves · 2021-04-20T15:19:27+00:00

Override is much too much of an overstatement.

If a woman actually thinks you're ugly, the most your personality can really do is compensate for that, partially.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-04-20T15:25:33+00:00

Definitely possible, but there is a limit. Ideally, you have the both, but having only one can make up for a lack of the other.

Lokipoki29 · 2021-04-20T16:39:17+00:00

Even if you can , your personality can only get so interesting before reaching its limit

geometersbane · 2021-04-20T16:46:26+00:00

For women who go for hot guys, it's to make her friends jealous. For those who go for below average dudes, it's either a beta bucks situation or to show everyone else that she's not shallow. It's all about how her choices are perceived by others.

psypD · 2021-04-20T18:39:00+00:00

Nope.

RuGiZuGi · 2021-04-20T19:51:23+00:00

Yes? It happens all the time.

Most men are not physically attractive objectively speaking yet they have no issues getting women, looks do matter to a degree of course, attraction is important but women care about how a man carries himself, charisma, charm, confidence, wit can get you far

OXOzymandias · 2021-04-20T21:40:56+00:00

to some extend

RepresentativeSwan1 · 2021-04-20T22:17:09+00:00

RepresentativeSwan1 · 2021-04-20T22:20:53+00:00

"Personality" doesn't exist.

yungthrowaway97 · 2021-04-21T01:20:55+00:00

Never. Just never. Plus she won't even be sexually attracted to you even if you had a 9 inch 🍆. She would still deep down want the tall masculine guy with less personality and a smaller 🍆. It's like asking if a 200 lb girl with giant tits and a great personality is gonna be preferred over a flat chested girl with a beautiful face and only cares about instagram. Humans generally go for attractive people first. Date in your league.

honeydewmelonz · 2021-04-21T05:33:49+00:00

Absolutely. I’ve dated guys that other people would consider hideous but I thought he was the sexiest man alive. My friends as well. I don’t see what they see (physically) in their bfs but they’re sooo in love.

michael1962-01 · 2021-04-21T07:58:42+00:00

Good personality?

"You are a arshole!!!"

"You stupid moron"

...."Fuck me harder....HARDER"

...'I'm horny...DO something!!!!!"

Personality....... lol

miaowkitty · 2021-04-21T08:48:45+00:00

Usually when people are asked what is the most important thing in a partner, they rarely say "looks", and shame people who do think so. I find this very weird, because looks are always the first thing people consider. You're not an option, if you don't pass the threshold.

OP is right about good looking guys usually having better personality. Good looking people are more likely to be successful, other people react to them more positively and so on. They have no reason to be desperate in dating, so they can be more relaxed.

GGMcThroway · 2021-04-21T14:24:12+00:00

Ugly can mean both how you were born and how your present yourself. Taking care of your appearance doesn't need to mean making yourself look like an adonis. Taking care of your health, hygiene, and hair will put you above a worryingly large percentage of men.

Deformations and the like will make most people pass (regardless of gender), but most men aren't ever going to be at that point.

Starter91 · 2021-04-21T18:13:58+00:00

Lol no

shnanogans · 2021-04-24T17:57:48+00:00

Yes. Case in point: Ed Sheeran. You definitely need to work harder to have someone be attracted to you if you aren't conventionally handsome which 100% is not fair and sucks but it absolutely can be done. Same applies for women.

NeonGyllenhaal · 2021-04-27T23:37:09+00:00

Yeah? It happens all the time.

ohheyhi99 · 2021-04-20T12:04:08+00:00

Every man I dated did.

Then again, amazing personality is a highly subjective term. Someone's idea of it is a fireman saving cats, for some it's a CEO with a good haircut and for me it's tall guys who make dirty jokes and read German idealism.

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Shirts_Pants · 2021-04-20T12:53:02+00:00

Happens all the time if you are talking about LTR and not ONS. There is definitely a looks threshold but for most women it is not that high and actually more based on things like grooming and hygiene.

TheJim66 · 2021-04-20T13:13:34+00:00

Well, if by amazing personality you mean "alpha asshole" then sure.

theawaregirl · 2021-04-20T13:20:15+00:00

I have seen fairly "meh" looking men who SLAYED with women because of their attitude/personality. So yeah, 100%.

Looks attract, personality amplifies. So even if you don't have a lot of the initial attraction through looks, personality can quickly amplify that and create a pretty fair amount of attraction.

TemperateSloth · 2021-04-20T15:58:07+00:00

I guarantee you that Danny DeVito has been with at least one woman more attractive than most guys ever sleep with.

2021-04-20T16:51:54+00:00

It depends if he is a 0 or a 6. I've only dated average men who became hot because of their personalities.

AreOut · 2021-04-20T16:53:00+00:00

most women don't think individually so it all depends on what her friends find attractive, if she sees her friends are attracted to someone she'll be attracted too regardless if it is about looks personality status money or whatever

Title	Is it possible for amazing personalties in men to override looks?
Author	OSfrogs
Upvotes	6
Comments	117
Date	April 20, 2021 11:51 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/muolos/is_it_possible_for_amazing_personalties_in_men_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-possible-for-amazing-personalties-in-men-to.762342 https://theredarchive.com/post/762342

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