I’ll keep it brief. My ex wife and I split up in December 2024 and given it was a sexless relationship for many years, I jumped straight into having some fun with various dates here and there. Nothing serious, and completely open with who I was seeing. It was fun, but tiring so I gave it a rest.

Then I met a gorgeous Asian woman who does not want more kids, is substantially younger than me, is self employed and financially self sufficient. We’ve now been dating for 6 months and it’s been good, but not without some challenges (two adults dating after divorce, to be expected).

Now for the question! She’s made it clear that because of her culture (mainly) she won’t ever live with me, as it’ll force her daughter to live with me too. She’d prefer if her daughter continues to live in the family Home, whereby the entire family is very close knit and raises the daughter as a tight family unit. The cultural change would be too severe, to be considered fair on her daughter. That’s how she feels.

I respect that. BUT…. It does feel like “well what’s the point of dating if we’re not aiming toward any form of longterm “unity” in a home?”

Am I wrong?

Should I be excited that I’m dating an attractive woman who does NOT want to cram herself into every crevasse of my life and day to day existence?

I will admit that the relationship does have some gaps that I’d prefer to not have, such as;

  • she isn’t physically active, I am. All the time. I want to do activities together. She doesn’t.

  • culturally, things like going on a holiday is just alien to her. “Why, what’s the need?”

  • she knows her family will never fully accept me cos I’m white. They’ll tolerate me.

  • I want to travel, she doesn’t care for it.

The sex is amazing, and apart from that it’s mostly pretty limited in space for relationship growth. So it’s serving a purpose for now but I don’t see this going on forever, it’s a glorified FWB situation.

As for me, I don’t even know if I want to live with a woman again, or be in a dynamic full time relationship. I’m like “should I be happy with this arrangement so that I can also lack commitment, cos I dont want her to live with me?” But then I wake up, lonely all day and think “fuck… a wife would be great”.