I never would have thought in a million years I would be in this position in a million years and I'm really trying to shift my perspective on relationships because I don't want to ever be back in this spot. I really feel what life has taught me is good long term relationships RARELY exist. When I say rarely I do mean rarely maybe 2 in 10 at most. What is a good long term relationship? I would say together over 10 years and both people wake up everyday happy who they are with. This is what I want more than anything in the world, but 3x divorce and almost 50 years on this planet and what I've learned women are too immature for this type of relationship. Lets get into why....and if you are reading this please tell me where I am wrong, or I'm curious tell me if I right so I can stop touching the fire. For context I would say I'm an above average guy 6'4", 230lbs, make over 6 figures, and I'm not lazy. I'm current soon to be ex wife even referred to me as a great "functional" husband.

First marriage I was young and dumb, I got married at 20/21, we were high school sweethearts didn't argue got along so what do you do next? Get married. Well she ends up leaving me when I'm around 26/27, I don't remember exactly what was said, but she left me, because I remember being surprised. No kids and I was didn't have a lot of money so this divorce didn't cost me that much.

Second marriage I dated maybe half dozen women, and eventually find my next wife, I'm probably around 30 when we get married. She has a kid from when she was young, and we have two kids shortly after. Here is where I give her credit she works hard has a master degree in the medical field makes over 6 figures, so it's not like she's a total loser. I start to feel like "something" is wrong not sure what so for literally at least 2 years I'm randomly asking her, "what's wrong" she's always saying nothing. Matter of fact if I ask her too many times what's wrong she gets mad and says if I keep asking something will be wrong. Well she divorces me over email tells me she's been unhappy since our son was 2 and now he is 5 or 6...lol. This is where I get enraged because I've been asking this woman for years what's wrong. Basically the excuse I got was is she fell out of love. Fortunately the divorce was very fair to me. It was so good the lawyer I had that reviewed the paperwork literally said it was an excellent fair divorce. No child support, 50/50 custody, no alimony, split stuff and be done.

Here is where I get mad I spend more time at the gym, I get on dating apps, I'm 39 and I just go on tons of dates. I probably went on around 50 dates before I met my soon to be ex wife. My STBXW is feels like she's very different she from a different more traditional country, her parents are still together, and she has a professional job make good money. Downsides is she has been divorced twice as well at this stage. First marriage young and dumb, second marriage to her she has a kid with this guy, but when I asked why she is divorcing him the reasons I can understand. This guy got HUGE on her like 100lbs+ overweight, she would mow the lawn, she would do the "man" jobs all the time, and for her the "all the time" part was the issue, because she does like to work in the yard. She also tried to get him to address things. So I'm thinking she's a safe bet plus we are older she is 37 and I'm 43. Fast forward 7 years, and now I'm almost 50 she is almost 44 and she blindsides me with wanting a divorce. I'm not going to get specific but in general let's just say boundaries were crossed, her boundaries. Granted these boundaries were discussed, she agreed to it, and if this was a boundary of hers she crossed it herself MULTIPLE TIMES, but she said she only crossed the boundary to please me. Well she keeps letting this boundary get crossed and now years later says this is the reason she wants a divorce, even though I completely agree with not crossing this boundary. She basically says it's too late.

Here is my conclusion 3 divorces blindsided in all these divorces. I truly feel like women have made marriage and the concept of building a future together non-existent, because how can you have a relationship under the circumstances that if some thing in the relationship goes bad the expectation is your partner some how just realizes it without you directly saying something. Looking back I can see where these women gave me little hints that "some thing" was wrong, what that some thing was at the time I wasn't sure, and if women aren't willing to tell you it feels like they are setting the relationship up for failure. My other thought is maybe women just get bored, because I feel like on a certain level they crave chaos, so in this case maybe they just made up the reason. Also functionally women don't need men, they make their own money, they can hire a handyman, and if they want sex that's easy. I wonder if this changes at some age for women, but my soon to be exwife is almost 44 and she's attractive but FOR A 44 year old woman, so I would have thought women in their 40's would want to have a man locked down because finding someone to commit to a woman gets much harder not easier, so maybe they truly just crave chaos. My other conclusion if feel like I came to was I never realized how much slave to their emotions they are, because logically none of this makes sense to me which tells me it's rooted in strictly feelings.

So any guys out there that had the dream of wanting to grow old with a sweet woman you can share the ups and downs of life with and you gave up on that dream, can you tell me how you did it? I want that so bad, but logically I realize it's not realistic, I want it to be realistic but life has shown me it's not possible AT ALL, because here is what I've seen either you get divorced, or they decide to stay with you and at BEST over the years you get to a point where you just kind of tolerate the other person.

Even my STBXW asked her own mother how her and her dad stayed together for so long, and her mom told her that she feels very alone and she's too old to change anything so she just deals with the feeling. I wouldn't want my wife to feel that way that doesn't sound pleasant, and my STBXW says her parents bicker pretty often.

BTW any guys reading this if your in DFW and want to socialize let me know.