I’m 44m she’s 34f. Got together at 28m and 18f, married 15 years, six kids. Currently travel nurses LPNs (the lower paid kind) and I would still have to travel if we divorced to make the bills of out overwhelming debt, and I’d rarely ever get to see my kids again. Five years into our relationship she cheated on me with a career criminal who was a patient she was taking care of while she was in nursing school. She started a relationship with him, but slept with his friend too. He goes to jail, I find out about everything, we start therapy, five more years of fighting like hell for her then I find out she’s had a two year affair with our coworker and slept with five other guys. I’m devastated, I’m going to leave, setting up divorce, she begs me back. Current day: Says she wants an open marriage and I agreed. Slept with first guy, I couldn’t handle it. Drops this on me: I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with you, you feel more like a friend. I break down, beg her back, she agrees says she loves me. She’s seeing the new guy this weekend. I’m scared to death. I’m destroyed. I have no one else in this world. In my heart I know it’s over, but I can’t let go. Saying I’m a wreck is a gross understatement. I don’t know how I’m going to make it. WTF is wrong with me? How could I put up with this for so long?

UPDATE: Informed her I was divorcing her. She didn’t care. Leaving this morning.