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redbirdflies
[–]Muffy217FDS Newbie150 points151 points152 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was talking to my Mom today on the phone and somehow my ex fiancé came up. We spent like 10 minutes laughing hysterically about all the stupid things he did. It’s good when you get to the point where you can laugh and wonder how in the world you ever wasted your time on a loser like that.
[–]outside-perceptionFDS Newbie124 points125 points126 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Remember the ex you did marry?
F
[–][deleted] 25 points26 points27 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This
[–]spen77 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oof
[–]coolestgirlyouevermeFDS Apprentice84 points85 points86 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The love of my life at 20 who I fantasized marrying and having 3 kids with = unemployed druggie hipster who is up to his ears in credit card debt and has no job experience related to to his degree
I am so thankful that he broke my young heart 🤣🤣🤣
[–]sanguine_dualityFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
are you me? Creepy goth guy who had a kid at 19, cheater, pathological bum who posts pictures of his ex with sad captions almost 2 years after the break up.
[–]__kamikaze__FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think we might have been dating the same guy. Mine fits this description to a tee!
[–]BellaStayFlyFDS Disciple78 points79 points80 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thank God 21 year old me didn’t wind up with 36 year old him. Why the age gap wasn’t the biggest red flag back then is a mystery to me. It hurt like hell, but I cannot imagine my life with him in it now and who I would be.
[–]pissedpumpkinFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This!!! I’m only a few months out of leaving him, but this was the most obvious thing I should have done
[–]jenaemareFDS Newbie72 points73 points74 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Lol the ex I wanted to marry was sure that one day he would be in a famous band and get into Hells Angels or lead a new motorcycle club. Now he plays the guitar in the park and works as a child camp supervisor. Not a bad outcome but I was convinced when we broke up that he'd become this really famous rock singer motorcyclist and I'd hear him on the radio and cry years later. Also he got fat and is starting to bald.
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 38 points39 points40 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Musicians are the worst !
[–]jenaemareFDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, I found out 6 months after the breakup that he had cheated on me with a lot of girls, once even when I was in the same location. He had snuck to the bathroom with another girl. Whenever he was away he would disappear for hours and claim he had no battery on his phone. I'm just happy I came out of that relationship STD free.
[–]bcndm6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
God, finally someone that understands me. Same here: cheated on, lied to and on top of that, he was probably the most pretentious human being that ever walked the earth. Good riddance!
[–]JunjiMitosisFDS Newbie64 points65 points66 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Lol mines dm’ed me a dissertation coming at me for my involvement in blm protests and volunteering.m, and tried to explain to me A BLACK WOMAN about how I was hurting his feelings and invalidating our love because he’s white
[–]cloeedFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg whaaaaat?!
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
OMG! How DARE He!!!
Huge bullet dodged
Wow
[–]JunjiMitosisFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep. He broke up with me because “He fell out of love with me” but is consistently commenting on all my socials and asked to get back together 3 times lol... auto blocked after last time
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Their hypocrisy and stupidity never fails to amaze me😂
[–]plembbFDS Disciple111 points112 points113 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Good riddance, Sam. You were too skinny and an obvious narc.
[–]420snailmodeFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao savage
[–]whatsnotclickinggThrowaway Account10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jesus are we talking about the same person ? 🙃🙃
[–]throwawayitstFDS Apprentice32 points33 points34 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Riddance straight from the heavens
[–]PollyAnnaSunshineFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex now has a tee shirt company where he sells poorly designed tee shirts with vulgar slogans. This is in addition to his day job. So glad we do not share a last name!
[–]warinmymind94FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The guy that wanted to marry me didnt even do a proposal, hed just sit around in his apartment and be like so what do you want in life to get married and have kids? I was like 21 at the time and was like I'm not ready for any of that I want to be young and have my fun right now. He was cheating and we broke up shortly afterwards because "I didnt want to marry him and there was no point". Later I found out that during the last 3 months of us still dating that he had actually started dating another woman, 6 years younger than him. Their anniversary was when me and him were still living together and dating! He ended up proposing to her about another 6 months later (they had dated 9 months) and she said yes. The worst part was that he proposed to her with a hard boiled easter egg that said "will you marry me?" Written in crayon on it while they were staying at her moms house. He didnt even give her an actual ring. They eloped and are living in some small dingy apartment in some tiny bumble town. I drove through it on my road trip. I thanked God for dodging such a bullet.
[–]Suitcase33FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
.......at a loss for words. an easter egg? a crayon? did she ever find out about you? its crazy he basically made u into just his roommate.
[–]warinmymind94FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes and yes. My mom had a weird choice for an engagement ring and he was always like whenever I propose I can still do better than that... but yeah it was an actual hard boiled Easter egg and no ring. I can't believe anyone would accept that, I'd imagine even pickmes turning that down. Huge bullet dodged.
[–]Suitcase33FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
so she knew? im so curious to know what her perception of all this was, this is an absurd situation. thank God u hes out of the picture sheesh.
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This group needs a hall of shame, worst of the worst pin. The Easter Egg proposal should be up top. 😂😂😂
[–]AbundantOverflowFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes. And. Amen.
Best wishes to his current baby mama and the way he hides her from the world.
Bullet dodged.
Grateful that I didn't get what I thought was so right for me.
Life is good.
[–]meri_cherriFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg same my ex at 20, from 12 years ago just added me on Facebook. Didn’t even have Facebook then and somehow he found me: Blocked. What was I thinking then.
[–]phulkari2784FDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seriously, I'm so glad we all evolve and I hope we don't get into that kind of rat hole ever again.
[–]AnansiNeonFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Woooo, thank you for the laugh.
[–]plannergorlFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He wanted to control how I dress down to my mismatched socks.
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Classic narcissist
[–]afrodeasyakFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He never wanted to understand how my culture was so complicated and terrible in comparison to his, or how I had difficulty tackling serious matters with my family. He just wanted things to happen as he envisioned, what a control freak.
[–]verusckaFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Woof
[–]Minkiemink8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
God help me. I married him....then....of course....divorced him. What was I thinking!?
[–]Suitcase33FDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Didnt try to marry me but my ‘ex’ (my dumber days so i me we werent even exclusive smh) was very bizarre looking back now. somethings still dont make sense. he asked me if i was ever molested when i came over to his house to netflix after a few weeks of knowing him (my pre FDS days). he wasnt dangerous at all i think he wanted to know all my vulnerabilities since he complained about me being hard to open up and secretive....despite him never opening up either 🤔 perhaps he wanted material to manipulate me with idek. Im just baffled that he really asked that. I said no w a straight face and shut that shit down. what a weirdo.
[–]NubianQueen101FDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunately I never had an ex. Missing a chance for a good laugh.
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice70 points71 points72 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
“fortunately”, people that find this sub before dating are the luckiest of all
[–]NubianQueen101FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Due to cultural reasons I have never dated, never wanted to. But now I feel getting married at 29 (now 33) without ever having experiences with relationships makes me the most vulnerable in the marriage. If I had more experiences I would have been able to tackle things differently and more efficiently.
[–]BennettistFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't think it does. You know deep down what care, kindness, reverence, and respect feel like. You also know what contempt, anger and confusion feel like. If you're feeling the latter instead of the former, even if you don't know why, run.
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I get that, I’m the same way except I’m 20 and I sneaked around and got in a relationship last year which I regretted. If I had this sub last year things would have been so much better for me, but it’s never too late
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When it does happen, never stop trusting your gut. It's okay to realize you made a mistake. It's okay to live life just for yourself or even live a life of helping other women and children and leaving men out of it.
[–]plembbFDS Disciple11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You mean fortunately.
[–]penelopesheetsFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Laughing at the fact that I wanted to marry a man ever in my life hahaha
[–]ErikaNaumannFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same. I'm glad I never did. Dodged a few bullets.
[–]themissdaydreamerFDS Disciple5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I remember wanting to marry my NVM first boyfriend and pass those damaged genes forwards lol that guy is cursed to be a waste of space, I dodged more bullets than Keanu Reeves in that Matrix scene
[–]yegerskaFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He was straight up sociopathic sometimes. If I married him I’d end up in a body bad one day
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank God you never have to deal with that again!
[–]pissed_afFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tbh I wasn't ever sure about him. Putting things on perspective all the stuff he did would make me less and less attracted to him, but I'd read that "so you're going to leave JUST because of x or y?" gaslighting bullshit.
[–]meecy166FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don’t have one but still laughing at my ex
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My ex when I was 16-18 had BO, didn’t brush his teeth, was much uglier than me, a year younger, hit me, cheated on me, was disrespectful to my family and I accepted it all.
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You never have to go through that again.
[–]FDStrategistFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ahhh I am so glad I didn’t marry him. At the start of lockdown I burst out laughing one day at the thought of having to be in that situation with him. I am so much happier alone. He was a PA and towards the end, violent. The proposal was the lowest effort. He was the kind of guy who never pays attention to what anyone else is interested in, if he bought you a birthday gift it was something he liked rather than something he knew you would like. He knew I would like a bit of fuss for a proposal. He knew what kind of rings I liked, yet I got the polar opposite for both.
I had a gut feeling that being engaged to him get wrong. So glad I trusted that instinct.
[–]SuperSailorSeraFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Hoping I can get to this point! Currently in the midst of a failed engagement. The last straw for me was when his reaction to my sister needing emergency surgery for serious internal bleeding was to call his mom and talk about splitting an order for beer and noodles. I'm hoping that I can laugh about this and everything else in time but right now I'm just hurt and mad as hell.
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Some things will always sting. Just learn to be thankful you dodged that bullet. I'll never understand their lack of empathy or lack of caring about anything but themselves.
[–]SuperSailorSeraFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's something I really struggled with. I could not understand how he did not seem to really care about me or anything beyond the scope of himself. I'm learning a lot by reading the FDS recommended books and it's opening up my eyes! Love this community!
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Girl, run. Far and fast. Just get out of it and thank your lucky stars you never had children with him.
[–]SuperSailorSeraFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely!! Cut and blocked for sure. Definitely doing the legwork to heal and educate to NEVER get into something like that ever again!
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
If you look through my posts, I wrote a long one a few months ago on what I did to heal from heartbreak. Title is “withdrawal survival guide”See if you can find something useful on that list 😘😘😘
[–]SuperSailorSeraFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
👀 Just read your post and am blown away! These tips are all extremely helpful and it looks like we share many interests (particularly saging, moon cycles, and meditation). Thank you for directing me to your advice; I'll take all of it to heart. ☺️
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So glad to hear it! ❤️❤️❤️
[–]eng2flyFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Let’s all take a moment of silence for:
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A moment of silence followed by a collective giggle 😊
[–]eng2flyFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh absolutely, similar to the other lady who said her and her mom laugh about her ex fiancé I think my abysmal taste before leveling up is humorous now
[–]hellau1234FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My god I’m glad I didn’t marry that fucker.
[–]spen71 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh that was a hard jab lmao
[–]beatlefreak_1981FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whew! Dodged a bullet there!
[–]Snowmist92FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
He immediately proposed to a new girl 3 months after I left him. I wasn't even upset.
That was a really fickle thing to do on his part.
[–]redbirdfliesFDS STRATEGY COACH[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That is so common sis. Happens all of the time. Thank God it’s her and not you
[–]Snowmist92FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks sis ❤
My family was upset and I didn't care lol. They thought he was so great. I really don't miss him, especially after how creepy he started acting.
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[–]Muffy217FDS Newbie150 points151 points152 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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