Cry me a river

kikivegan · 2020-05-06T14:40:28+00:00

BAHAHAH I have spent my whole adulthood so far trying to love men with deep insecurities and show them that they are worthy of existing. It ALWAYS bites me in the ass. They need to take the initiative and take control of their own well-being. NOT 👏 MY 👏 JOB👏

Maisiebr · 2020-05-06T14:37:48+00:00

Ugh. Women's circumstances aren't any easier. If anything, we have to face our own sex's specific socialization and how it chips our natural confidence away piece by piece by the time we're grown up. What do we do to ease that? We fight for better circumstances to all women and girls, we go to therapy to undo the damage, we support each other. We aren't a free service to ease your mind, shithead.

_tinyimp · 2020-05-06T14:47:12+00:00

Um it’s called a therapist? Get one?

Wait__No__What · 2020-05-06T14:58:37+00:00

Get a job. Get an education. Get some skills. Join the military. Go ACCOMPLISH something, and you won't feel like such an insecure failure. You don't need "love", you need some self esteem and self respect, and those are only EARNED by accomplishing something worthwhile. No one can give those things to you, you have to get up, go out, and earn them for yourself.

DallasOMalley · 2020-05-06T15:02:29+00:00

Boo-fucking-hoo. I've spent entire relationships providing hours and hours of free emotional support to men who are insecure. Quit your goddamn whining buddy, take some personal responsibility for your well-being, and go see a real fucking therapist like a proper adult.

CaramelxMarshmallows · 2020-05-06T15:09:44+00:00

Basically "provide me with all the love and do emotional labour for me but I won't return the favour because I'm the victim here. Remember my post saying that I'm VERY insecure and incapable of doing emotional labour? Now you're an entitled bitch to expect anything in return when you were the one who actually offered this in the first place"

Blame the women tactics.

If he can understand his issues but can't solve them, then he needs to see a therapist to get help.

It's not a healthy relationship if one person is acting like a psychologist/ therapist.

eden_else · 2020-05-06T15:30:02+00:00

Men really are out here acting like they cannot help themselves 👏get👏therapy👏 Smh grow tf up, no one gets unconditional love and constant praise in this world, get over it. Do shit for yourselves.

blackopium777 · 2020-05-06T14:52:10+00:00

Like I give a shit.

glazedhamster · 2020-05-06T16:18:27+00:00

Why did he post this in socialskills? Demanding constant and unconditional free emotional labor from others rather than taking proactive steps to improve yourself (such as mindfulness or I dunno SEEING A FUCKING THERAPIST) is like the exact opposite of social skills.

I'm so sick of hearing men complain about how hard they have it because of expectations. As if literally everyone doesn't fight with society to be their own, whole person. Grow up and get help from someone whose job it is to help those who want to help themselves be better people.

AyemHerself · 2020-05-06T16:08:28+00:00

We all have insecurities. Coddling them is not the way to fix it. You've got to grow on your own.

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-05-06T14:47:00+00:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA wtf he smoking

Seraphinx · 2020-05-06T16:49:50+00:00

Yet another example that men don't see us as people.

They assume we don't or can't experience any of this.

darling89 · 2020-05-06T15:18:11+00:00

Women can't heal/fix men that's their job they need to see a therapist

2020-05-06T16:34:33+00:00

TL;DR- “Daddy and mommy didn’t show me enough love so now it’s your job to fix me cause I’m a man and I shouldn’t have to put in the emotional work.” It’s amazing that all these men think women’s lives are cake. As if we don’t get hurt emotionally, as if we don’t have parental issues, as if we don’t ever feel lonely or unloved, as if we’re always surrounded by friends. It’s infuriating.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-05-06T15:16:53+00:00

EARN IT and maybe we can talk...

gursky0 · 2020-05-06T18:44:43+00:00

I'm so tired of men playing the victim as if women aren't human, don't experience any struggles, and exist to serve them.

You had an upbringing that was lacking? Go figure your shit out. It's not anyone else's responsibility.

TheOGJammies · 2020-05-06T15:13:35+00:00

Don’t save’em

Novemberinthechair · 2020-05-06T17:46:26+00:00

"...love us."

I'll pass.

The irony is he wouldn't be able to ask for women to look past men's shortcomings and coddle egos if he didn't think women were put on earth to accommodate him. Basic male entitlement. Women have their own interior lives to deal with. And the self pitying tone...? He expects a mommy/hooker/maid/therapist with that tone? Not a good look, duder.

Meccha_me_2 · 2020-05-06T15:31:39+00:00

"Help us."

Absolutely fucking not you fucking waste of space.

RadarFemef · 2020-05-06T17:26:38+00:00

Uh no. Take care of your own damn self. If you’re not healthy enough for a relationship, do not enter into one. That is taking advantage of someone.

I highly doubt this goon would advocate loving women when they’re insecure and make bad choices, so why does he think men get a pass? Newsflash: they don’t

Dimethylchlorine · 2020-05-06T16:54:37+00:00

Nope. This is up there with that movement in the 2010’s where we were supposed to be sensitive to men and not use the phrase “man up”. Does anyone remember that? Let’s bring that back cause they really do need to man up

plutunic · 2020-05-06T17:58:12+00:00

I don't fucking care. women have more problems and manage not to devolve into addiction, lethargy, failure, sociopathy or selfishness to get by.

blackredrosepetals · 2020-05-06T18:13:40+00:00

‘many of us truly feel like losers’

that feeling is right dude. because you are losers. whining to women on the internet to fix you is proof of that lmao.

detectivejuicee · 2020-05-06T17:48:02+00:00

If you treat yourself as a product of your environment you'll never take control of your life

For a long time I was the "oh poor abused girl" nope, fuck that noise

I am learning to take my own weather with me

I am taking responsibility for myself and mitigating my circumstances not just blaming everything on them

I had to learn that being insecure, not loving myself, low self esteem etc were all defense mechanisms so I wouldn't have the courage to love myself. Loving yourself means not taking any shit, it means being disliked, it means prioritizing your values over your comfort, over being liked

And i did it all, I do all this hard work because I WANT TO BE BETTER

I want to try and live my life to the fullest. I want to master independence then vulnerability, to home in my skills

It pisses me off so much to see this man just blame everyone else.

Sure, gain some sympathy. It'll be some seasoning to go on your turd of a life

greenappletw · 2020-05-06T18:52:23+00:00

He's right about one thing. Deep insecurity in men is what turns them into monsters. Wife beaters, rapists, cheaters, pedophiles.....all from a deep rooted insecurity and a need to feel powerful.

If most men feel like that then what does that say 🤔

yellow_fisher · 2020-05-06T19:41:44+00:00

"Love us"

You think we haven't tried??

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-05-06T18:03:29+00:00

Ummm....people in general can be insecure and feel unloved, men and women. However, from this post, it appears that men should be allowed to cope with this using various vices as opposed to self improving and expect to receive love from women as opposed to giving love themselves. As a woman, I guess you are expected to give love even if you yourself are dealing with insecurities, etc. and the object of your affection is emotionally stunted :/

_boring_daven_ · 2020-05-06T16:43:38+00:00

I’d refer them to a therapist. Your therapist can build you, not me.

StrawberryMoon3 · 2020-05-06T20:22:58+00:00

Why do these wankers always expect emotional labour from women for free? Ffs go to a freakin therapist!

saydeesalt · 2020-05-06T18:26:37+00:00

I mean this is true. But do something about it. It’s not easy to work on yourself whether you’re male or female.

Mean_Green_Kween · 2020-05-06T19:10:24+00:00

No. 💅🏼 👑

Loonelle · 2020-05-06T19:35:52+00:00

Yes I will help you. I will make it my goal to fuck up your male self esteem even more. Just on GP.

2020-05-06T19:17:19+00:00

No, fuck that. No more damaged “men” !!

BobLoblawsLawBlog201 · 2020-05-06T21:02:08+00:00

And even with all those insecurities they still manage to run the world.

"Lord give me confidence of a mediocre man"

Cobmobster21 · 2020-05-06T16:42:49+00:00

I agree with everything but that last paragraph. It's not my job nor my business to love a broken person. They'll just break you in return. How can you expect a guy who is insecure and has low self esteem to know how to love? They need to know that they cant depend on others to make them feel desirable. But that's a bunch of hard work that they'd rather not do.

lillycrack · 2020-05-07T08:19:19+00:00

Can you imagineeeee a woman making this post with a list of the actual things women go through? Or trying to excuse shitty behaviour like this?

Men like this refuse to be loved. They’re victims. Loving these men means sacrificing and draining yourself to hold them up because they never want to work on their low self esteem; just have a sexy mommy figure who will hold them up until her back breaks. Then he cries to the next one about how betrayed he was.

balladwilds · 2020-05-06T15:55:03+00:00

I mean, he is not wrong. Everyone is insecure.

The issue for women is to have compassion and empathy AND boundaries. You can be the nicest kindest person on earth and still put your needs first. It’s not selfish, it’s in fact the healthiest way to live.

You cannot be an actually kind, altruistic and loving person if you don’t take care of yourself, your emotions and needs first.

I don’t get why for some women in this sub it’s either or. You can be compassionate and have self respect at the same time. Funny thing about self respect, it always beats everything else, or else it doesn’t exist.

2020-05-06T20:08:05+00:00

They're not fooling us with their 'confidence'. We all know they're insecure pieces of shit. Afraid that you're not going to accomplish anything in life? Well, turn off that porn will you!

ItsFreezen · 2020-05-06T20:51:16+00:00

You kill women and children because your insecure. Go EFF yourself.

honeybeeroll · 2020-05-06T20:58:37+00:00

"not that there's an excuse for these things but insecurity sets up a pattern in our lives"

"SO ACTUALLY as you can see from the entire tone of this post, I am trying to convince everyone else this is an excuse for my shitty behavior, and everyone else needs to love me and cut me some slack, while I do NOTHING to learn how to act like a decent human being"

Cry me a river indeed. I'm insecure and have been worse insecure, and it caused me to lose friends, and I realize that is MY problem and my fault. I didn't go asking for everyone else to love me more 🙄. i needed to love me more and take responsibility. Ugh I fucking hate this culture we have of 0 individual accountability!!

zzzelot · 2020-05-07T00:07:34+00:00

"People see some men and think that we're confident."

LOL!! Who are these "people"?? It is very rare that I see a random dude and think that he looks confident. Delusion/entitlement is a far cry from real confidence.

Ell-O-Elling · 2020-05-06T16:51:14+00:00

In other words “be my mommy and love me no matter what I do because you should suffer for my insecurities so I don’t have to”.

Pathetic!

It’s so infuriating to see men blame women for their failures or expect us to overlook them because life is so hard for them!

Bitch, it’s hard for us all!

Be a fucking adult and handle your shit instead of asking us to overlook your failures because you’re too weak to fix yourself!

TheDeadlyBeauty · 2020-05-06T22:51:53+00:00

Never thought I would see video games and alpha male in the same sentence.

Anyway I didn't finish reading that gen z/millennial male whine fest. Grow up.

retro_glamour · 2020-05-06T23:25:09+00:00

Many of us truly feel like losers

We need to know that we matter.

But, you are losers, and you don't matter...

sadcello · 2020-05-06T18:09:59+00:00

"men were never validated"

What a fucking gaslight and manipulation. Men are all fucking spoiled rotten and coddled by society. Everything caters to you, everyone excuses your actions, everyone have high hopes for you, yet you still have the gall to say you were never validated? How much more love do you need, huh? You want the daughters who never get loved to use their entire life to love you despite never knowing how it feels to be loved for who she is? Fuck you.

You fail yourself. If women can stand up and be independent on her own despite being oppressed and unwanted from birth, why the superior sex need the inferior sex to support and love them so they can succeed? Because you're a useless cumbrain-ed manchild who can never do anything on your own. Cry more, you fucking inferior sex.

4BigData · 2020-05-06T18:27:30+00:00

"We need... we need..." losers! Focus on what she needs and you will get it back. You only get what you put in.

modernmedusaa · 2020-05-07T11:16:25+00:00

OH BELIEVE ME

We NOTICED the insecurity behind your constant antics and fake TRP alpha act

That's why we throw you in the bin

2020-05-07T03:40:43+00:00

I constantly fell for this shit 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

jadedilla · 2020-05-07T15:34:45+00:00

Smh. Why did I even bother responding to this dipshit. Now I’m mad.

VirtualSpacedCadet · 2020-05-06T22:35:56+00:00

If they want a woman’s love they should just call their mother 🙄

Lazy_Jacket500 · 2020-05-06T22:41:55+00:00

men are pretty narcissistic in average.

vowelsareimportant · 2020-05-07T11:44:23+00:00

Pass. If they hate themselves they end up hating us for being dumb enough to like what they hate.

May26th · 2020-05-07T12:19:46+00:00

Title	Cry me a river
Author	balladwilds
Upvotes	177
Comments	90
Date	May 6, 2020 2:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gel3bk/cry_me_a_river/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/cry-me-a-river.676816 https://theredarchive.com/post/676816

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