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AcadiaLeather5071
[–]WittyImprovementFDS Newbie 378 points379 points380 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Manifesting this for the future. Also let's add a group of supportive girl friends
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 235 points236 points237 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This is my life rn while my sister takes care of a baby and her narcissistic man child boyfriend
[–]adalovelace1793---FDS Newbie 113 points114 points115 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Girl, I know what you mean.
Imma the "No free labour aunt, get your ZVM to get you a nanny or get divorced and we will be there for you" sister- aunt 🤣
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This. Even if I lived nearby, I wouldn't babysit. I don't do free labour and I'm childfree.
[–]FunbutGrossFDS Newbie 40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Your sister might be suffering a living hell and don't even realize it for what it is, please stay present in the baby's life because is going to get ugly insidedoors and the kid is gonna suffer, be the safe place the she/he needs. I know it's not your problem but i have been the kid and i would have loved a safe place or someone to talk once in a while.
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 59 points60 points61 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No, she knows what he is and that she's trauma bonded.
She has withdrawn from me over the years because I had tried keeping those lines of communication open and voicing concerns with his behaviour or how she feels - I spent hours doing research into how to support someone in this situation and I know her withdrawal is actually a sign of that. I've tried letting her know or sending her resources, encouraged her to go to therapy alone, etc. She knew that having a kid would make it worse, not better.
But she's flat out told me I'm too "rigid" in my standards, and I can't make her leave the narc. I used to be with a narc so I understand a lot of what that abuse looks like.
At the end of the day, she's responsible for facing the truth and using her therapy to get the professional help she needs to leave.
I live on the opposite side of the country, so I just keep the lines open and reach out to her regularly.
[–]LonelyWineAuntFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’ve handled the situation perfectly. I really appreciate the friends snd family who did the same for me when I was with a NVM.
I knew they knew it was a bad situation but I had to get out on my own. I had to break the cycle of codependency with therapy and then, when I was ready, I asked for the help and support I needed from family and friends to break free and thankfully, they were there for me.
Seven years and I haven’t repeated the mistake of making a bad decision about a man. If a woman gets out of a bad relationship before she’s ready, I believe she’s likely to repeat the pattern.
[–]The_Oracle_of_DelphiFDS Apprentice 419 points420 points421 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Yesterday a traditional Indian woman in a sari introduced herself to me (in the US). She very quickly asked if I had children. When I said “no” she automatically said “Oh, I’m so sorry”. I said “no need to be sorry - I’m perfectly happy this way”. She seemed to understand and smiled. I think it’s slowly catching on, throughout the world, that a woman without a child is not a TRAGEDY.
[–]MiaWallace995FDS Newbie 189 points190 points191 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Im Indian and want my indian ladies to wake the fuxk up ;_; enough with the marriage and kids saga
[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 113 points114 points115 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Lol maybe she started the permutations and combinations of possible scenarios in her head that led you to this ‘disastrous fate’, hence the smile. I am glad that she did not ask you about your husband, maybe if she was Bengali she’d definitely do.. I am a Bengali women and can’t avoid to face this ‘where is your husband and kid’ conversation, happens in the first 5 minutes of meeting a complete stranger(Bengali). And in the absence of hubby and kids it becomes everyone’s duty to fix a home for my stray pussy. tHiS iS hOw We sMaLL tALk.
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie 60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
fix a home for your stray pussy
I lol'd
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So did I 🤣🤣
[–]butterflyfrenchfryFDS Newbie 50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I was the cool wine aunt until I got sober and met a HVM. I think present day wine culture is something younger women might want to be careful about, but I agree with most things on this sub. Leveling up, respecting yourself, and maintaining goals is more important than appearing cool. I say this coming from a family full of women that celebrate “wine o’clock” every day and put their dreams aside to become housewives.
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree. Wine is a numbing agent. It may not be the problem but daily use can mean it’s being used as the bandaid for the real problem. I see a lot of friends use it to numb the anger they’d otherwise show at a lot of the issues we talk about here ... it allows them to stay calm and be “not really a feminist, dear.”
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
From my experience, it's not the young Gen Z women that are big drinkers but the Boomer/Gen X Moms married to LVM that are self-medicating on booze.
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist 95 points96 points97 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm here. It's great!
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can't wait to be there! Congrats to you and your fulfilling freedom! 😄
[–]zazaleazFDS Newbie 102 points103 points104 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me, except I don't want to visit with other people's kids either!
[–]gravedestruct1onFDS Apprentice 60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Honestly I don’t even think you need to go that far in terms of the whole cool wine aunt thing. Realistically most people work 40 hours work weeks, and depending on your country and company have varying levels of vacation time (here in the US it’s pretty shit, like 2 weeks a year I think??).
Just in general working hard on your own, buying your own place whether it be a condo or a house, your free time will improve without having to take care of kids. You could even get to a point where you don’t even need to work FT if you save for retirement and everything right.
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m there right now! I only have three years left in the workforce until I can retire. I want the most beautiful garden in town!
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 119 points120 points121 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cool aunts, grandmas and mentors are a vital village to grow a happy, healthy child.
[–]Nice_Pass2393FDS Newbie 201 points202 points203 points 5 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link
Why do we have to choose between children or alcoholism? Oh that's right. Corporations need to get rich somehow
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There’s a lot of conflating motherhood with marriage to LVM. And I don’t agree with it, tbh.
Personally, I absolutely love motherhood and find it largely rewarding. Skipping it is a valid choice that every woman should have access to - kids are a lot, but they aren’t exploitative and they do love you (at least pre-teen). They do reduce mobility and they do cost a lot of cash and they do mean less sleep. No judgment if that’s not your thing and you have the self-awareness to call it.
But I’d like to point out that the exhausted, frazzled, prematurely aged woman is suffering from a crappy husband, not from typical motherhood. Kids are pretty malleable when they’re young and they gladly help clean and cook (to get the new wifi password 😉) and tell funny jokes over dinner and give hugs and all the fun stuff.
Spouses can be supportive too but the vast majority of husbands kind of ... aren’t. Blaming it on the kids is a massive cope by mom, and it’s a bit dishonest.
[–]greatcathyFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lovely post
[–]2020naFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you ❤️. There's already a child free Reddit that is quite anti motherhood at times and look down on mother's. Based on what I'm seeing I hope FDS doesn't end up there. I chalk it up the the young age group 🤷🏽♀️
[–]takingbackitallFDS Newbie 144 points145 points146 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I'm the water aunt lmao 😂 I'm fun at parties (heh)
[–]MisandryFTWFDS Newbie 82 points83 points84 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I am the tea aunt. The kids actually call me Tia and ask me to make them tea.
[–]takingbackitallFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg. That's amazing, I love it ❤️
Come to think of it now, I'd probably be the coffee aunt, not the water aunt lol ☕
[–]xpressurself111FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Your username gives me life
[–]MisandryFTWFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was told I was being misandrist by not having sex with men. Thus my name.
[–]Nice_Pass2393FDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah same but my health is more important than impressing other people
[–]idestroythingsfora-FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Soda aunt hours
[–]RussianCat26FDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Would you prefer marijuana aunt? Because I'm totally in support of that! I get your point, and I don't like how much wine is glorified online either.
[–]Nice_Pass2393FDS Newbie 117 points118 points119 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
To each his own. How about hiking aunt? Artist aunt? Musician aunt? Dancer aunt? Fashion aunt? Nature aunt?
[–]RussianCat26FDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I think all are fabulous! I admit, its a bit difficult for me to imagine being an aunt in ANY capacity, considering I'm an only child 🤷♀️ I have 3 Admirable aunts, so life does balance out.
Edit So it looks like a guy tried to comment on this and say some dumb stuff?? Thanks mods for stepping in 😊
[–]dogfart4FDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why not all of these?!
[–]pikkpieFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Count me in sis!
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Aunt Ant
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m that aunt! 🌳🌳🌳🤩🌳🌳🌳
[–]zorra666FDS Apprentice 62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I AM that auntie! Maybe I don't have a suspicious amount of money but I pull a good salary, live on the other side of the world, travel incessantly pre-covid. No kids, just a couple doggos❤️
[–]FDS-GFYFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Holy shit this could be me in < 10 years. #winning
I have all of that, except the wine and the money. Life is still good!! 😁
[–]LongirlFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That’s me! And I become a great aunt in July! Got my Chanel lace gloves and long cigarette holder on order to complete the look. I’ve already got the Tiffany sunglasses 😎
[–]AcadiaLeather5071Ruthless Strategist[S] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yess! 🙌😍😍😍
[–]SadPersonality8576FDS Newbie 40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes, please.
[–]dutchie19FDS Newbie 74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I would be that cool aunt, if only someone had said to me growing up marriage isn't a goal, and isn't required. Nor is having children. Two ex husband's and 3 kids (who I love) later, that opportunity is lost forever to me.
[–]xpressurself111FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When those kids grow up and out, you will have much more freedom. Plan fun things to look forward to like this! (That’s what I am doing as mom anyway haha) I think “as soon as my child goes off to college/military/moves out and is stable, I….” And keep that list in my phone notes app. :)
[–]madonna_whorecomplexFDS Apprentice 22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm currently saving up for this dream, can't wait to be an aunt! I would spoil my nieces so bad. My childless, cool aunt is my ultimate inspiration (and this post is so on the mark because she also shows up spontaneously and bring some exotic gifts)
[–]just_takin_the_dFDS Apprentice 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm aiming to be the cool childless aunt with my niece and nephew! I wish I had a childless aunt on which I could model myself off - instead I'm really breaking tradition in my family by not having kids
[–]BlackMasalaFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What a life! My heart yearns for such freedom
[–]Lemon_bars_addictionFDS Disciple 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Switch wine to tea and I’m in 😝
[–]TigreImpossibileFDS Apprentice 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is me already, pre-covid lmao! 😎
[–]AriaLuzFDS Apprentice 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds great to me.
[–]snowwhite224FDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My dream lol
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LMAO 15 years? This is literally me right now.
[–]liberty_5-30000Throwaway Account 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is my sister. She is the best!!!
[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! I loved that song in La La Land, ‘here’s to the fools who dream’, it was about her 😎cool and fool aunt :)
[–]candyfox84FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is me rn and I get three paragraph texts from my niece and nephew, full of heart emojis 🥰💕being the cool aunt is fucking amazing.
[–]ceilingkatwatchesusFDS Disciple 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm that Aunt and sooo happy to have sweet nieces and nephews who love to hangout with me during their summer break. I live in a very metro city in Asia and they always want to come and visit. Pre-Covid I took one of my nieces to the Maldives for a week and we had soo much fun. It was a graduation gift. So happy to spend that money on her.
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ll be that aunt 💅🏻
[–]xdecadentFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m here for it!!
[–]PossiblyJennayFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
SO MANY of the rich couples or even singles I know are rich because they don’t have kids.
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[–]WittyImprovementFDS Newbie 378 points379 points380 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 235 points236 points237 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]adalovelace1793---FDS Newbie 113 points114 points115 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FunbutGrossFDS Newbie 40 points41 points42 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 59 points60 points61 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LonelyWineAuntFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]The_Oracle_of_DelphiFDS Apprentice 419 points420 points421 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]MiaWallace995FDS Newbie 189 points190 points191 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 113 points114 points115 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie 60 points61 points62 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]butterflyfrenchfryFDS Newbie 50 points51 points52 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist 95 points96 points97 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zazaleazFDS Newbie 102 points103 points104 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gravedestruct1onFDS Apprentice 60 points61 points62 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 119 points120 points121 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nice_Pass2393FDS Newbie 201 points202 points203 points (25 children) | Copy Link
[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 43 points44 points45 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]greatcathyFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]2020naFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]takingbackitallFDS Newbie 144 points145 points146 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]MisandryFTWFDS Newbie 82 points83 points84 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]takingbackitallFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xpressurself111FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MisandryFTWFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nice_Pass2393FDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]idestroythingsfora-FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RussianCat26FDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nice_Pass2393FDS Newbie 117 points118 points119 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]RussianCat26FDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dogfart4FDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pikkpieFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zorra666FDS Apprentice 62 points63 points64 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FDS-GFYFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LongirlFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AcadiaLeather5071Ruthless Strategist[S] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SadPersonality8576FDS Newbie 40 points41 points42 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dutchie19FDS Newbie 74 points75 points76 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]xpressurself111FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]madonna_whorecomplexFDS Apprentice 22 points23 points24 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]just_takin_the_dFDS Apprentice 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlackMasalaFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lemon_bars_addictionFDS Disciple 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TigreImpossibileFDS Apprentice 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AriaLuzFDS Apprentice 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]snowwhite224FDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]liberty_5-30000Throwaway Account 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kinkardineFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]candyfox84FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ceilingkatwatchesusFDS Disciple 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xdecadentFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PossiblyJennayFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link