Having standards is not a hate crime

millennialpink2000 · 2021-10-06T00:58:39+00:00

FDS is based in radical honesty.

This includes the honesty to not laugh at some guy's dumb joke or agree to a date location to be 'agreeable', even though it's inconvenient.

FDS encourages women to be honest about their boundaries, expectations and standards. It's not trickery or deceit, but men hate it because FDS encourages us not to play along with society's bullshit script—so men perceive that as a direct assault

_-Laniakea-_ · 2021-10-06T00:34:46+00:00

It's the workings of misogyny that has patterned women enforcing boundaries as equivalent to men forcing their desires. A simple "no, thank you" from a woman is seen as just as violent as a man murdering someone. People actually believe that women are innately receptive to the demands of men, so to not be is like going against nature to them.

apommom · 2021-10-06T00:29:46+00:00

Hearing FDS compared to TRP is infuriating. Their goal is to use us, our goal is to protect ourselves from being used.

ApprehensiveGiftBox · 2021-10-06T00:44:06+00:00

Don't want to date an FDS woman? Don't pay for the first date. Easy tip for scrotes to avoid us. We aren't out here actively running men down and pulling out their wallets against their will. We aren't coming up with strategies to hide our intentions. We are up front. We block and delete. Don't like it? Don't worry, you'll be cut quickly.

youre_a_cat · 2021-10-06T06:56:21+00:00

I agree, the amount of hate FDS gets on other subreddits is insane... especially when the overarching advice in FDS is "leave the situation as fast as you can if you do not like it". We're not tricking, manipulating, or hurting men whatsoever. The mental gymnastics that people go through to equate this subreddit to incels is astonishing.

sleepysiri · 2021-10-06T08:19:58+00:00

Period. I see this as similar to the whole “how men hate vs how women hate.”

Women’s “hatred” is very passive, internalised, not a burden to men, and a reaction to how they have been mistreated, oppressed, abused or assaulted. Their behaviour includes separating themselves from men.

Whereas men’s hatred is very much externalised, there’s intent, it’s entitled, it’s not a victim response. Their behaviour includes bothering women and infiltrating female spaces and discussions.

At the core of PUA vs FDS is men vs women and the differences are so obvious.

shockingupdate · 2021-10-06T03:31:01+00:00

We’re not changing anyone. We’re not even changing ourselves; just accepting the men who fit in with who we are and want to be, right now. I never imagined just how much people despise women with standards before joining this sub.

purasangria · 2021-10-06T00:43:35+00:00

The most anyone can do is accuse us of laziness; I am indeed to lazy to chase a man. If he won't act right, we ignore him.

Yawn. Such misandry. (Eyeroll)

swatir24 · 2021-10-06T03:51:26+00:00

I saw a post on the gaybros subreddit disparaging women for being difficult to date. These guys said they were glad to be gay as they didn't have to deal with kuhrazzzy women. Men's hatred for women perseveres, whether they are straight, gay or bi.

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2021-10-06T00:31:25+00:00

On the dating sub today someone got pissy because I said I can afford to be picky. Why settle for chuck steak when I can have wagyu. Oh because in real life you would want me but I wouldn't want you LOL BOOHOO. Men are made your standard excludes them, had they not they be all for them. I am sorry Jim your balding head and studio APT doesn't meet my standards

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-10-06T04:53:40+00:00

I have a male friend who said he has great success with NSA sex just by being upfront. He tells the women he encounters at bars/clubs that he’s only interested in sex, and some of them are also looking for that.

I think it’s insidious when a man goes through all these motions to hide the fact that he just wants to get laid.

ButterfliesHurricane · 2021-10-06T06:33:28+00:00

Great post! There is no one model, it’s all about compatibility. Compatibility of person (we encourage ourselves to level up too!), compatibilities of values (we seek HV values), lifestyle, goals. Setting standards is part of knowing ourselves, our worth, our wants and needs and assess our compatibility with potential partners. I have never seen any post on there promoting tactics to change other people’s minds or lie to them to make them date us.

I’m also a believe that if a guy asks me out and asks me to pay half or takes me up on my polite offer to pay out, it’s not compatible with my values even if I am more than able to pay for my meal and hold my own financially so I won’t take the dating further (no argument or moral judgement, just no second date).

Ok-Yogurtcloset3467 · 2021-10-06T11:18:28+00:00

FDS is not about misleading and manipulating men. Its about knowing exactly what you want, communicating that and then leaving if it's not met.

Strange how that's interpreted as a hate crime when women do it but men having standards is just part of what makes humans human.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2021-10-06T07:34:16+00:00

FDS women are pretty up front...a woman...who is dating...and taking her time getting to know you....probably wants....a relationship!? Who would have guessed!? What kind of a manipulative pickup artist is she, fancy wanting to get to know me as a person!?

Scrotes mad. They know exactly what FDS is about, that's why it scares them. And pickmes are quick to slander us, as it reinforces their "pick me I have no standards" narrative.

ciderero · 2021-10-06T08:53:54+00:00

women being picky should be encouraged because it benefits society greatly. picky women have better quality partners which means better children that are raised with 2 decent parents instead of 1. pick up artist and red pill men do nothing to benefit society. creating more parentless children only causes resentment and debt. encouraging pick up artists would be like promoting child poverty. all other male animals compete for sex and so should human males for the betterment of our species. if you are offering nothing, someone else will be more impressive than you.

Zurflu · 2021-10-06T17:37:15+00:00

It triggers scrotes because they see women as objects. Imagine if you went to the car dealership, picked out a new car, were approved for financing etc, but then the car just decided it didn't want you to buy it. That's how misogynists view women having standards and encouraging other women to have standards- it's an absurd nonsensical concept to them.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-10-06T21:39:11+00:00

The problem is that men see everything, literally every single thing, that complicates their access to women as a violent attack against all men. They equate easy access to women with their ability to survive. Not just success, but actual survival, hence the suicidal whining of incels.

FDS makes it harder for men to get all the benefits associated with women that they feel so entitled to. They are threatened by high standards and terrified that if this trend will continue, they will have to work much much harder to get laid. They will even have to become better people and for way too many men it's an impossible task.

asupernova91 · 2021-10-06T14:33:32+00:00

Yeah how dare we be sick of poor, abusive and misogynistic treatment?! It’s projecting at its finest. Men that don’t feel like they’re good enough for women further resent us for having standards. And I don’t mean that in a hateful way, but those men don’t need a woman to abuse and to act out their trauma on, they need a therapist.

relationship_reddit · 2021-10-06T16:57:14+00:00

🙌 🙌 🙌

You are entitled to have any, ANY standards you want. You are not obligated to give anyone a chance. As long as you're not demanding that the people who meet your standards be with you, you're good.

ItsFreezen · 2021-10-06T12:26:21+00:00

Dear Scrotes and Pickmes. The rule at FDS is WE DON'T CHASE. What don't you understand?

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-07T05:22:44+00:00

They don’t want us to have a space, that’s it period. They feel envious when they isn’t about them or making it easy, all the posts i see this is always to avoid abusive, narcissist men. If they feel entitled for this, it’s for something.

Title	Having standards is not a hate crime
Author	Pryras
Upvotes	1389
Comments	75
Date	October 6, 2021 12:21 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q297qt/having_standards_is_not_a_hate_crime/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/having-standards-is-not-a-hate-crime.1077153 https://theredarchive.com/post/1077153

Comments