Ladies, do you consider seeing a man once a week (every Saturday) as fulfilling dating?

NinjaCynic · 2021-08-28T21:21:46+00:00

It doesn't matter what any of us consider fulfilling dating. If you're not happy with seeing him only once a week, or that he's not proudly declaring that you're a couple, dump him.

electroloop · 2021-08-28T22:47:32+00:00

I would see guys once a week who I wasn’t exclusive to/had no intention of taking things further. Take that with a grain of salt. If you’ve been dating for 4 months and it’s still once a week? Something’s up. Doesn’t sound like he wants to commit.

frustratedanon123 · 2021-08-28T20:26:36+00:00

Personally, no. I wouldn't be satisfied with this.

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-08-28T22:20:41+00:00

It shows that he’s not that invested & has no intention in the long run. Did this with my LVX for 8 months, once a week dates (on the weekend). He dumped me after.

Pattern of communication + escalation of effort = potential for long term relationship.

Pattern of communication + no escalation = he’s a fuckboy that’s using you for a while

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-08-28T20:40:42+00:00

I think at this point he should be making the effort to see you more. For the first couple months? Sure, we're all busy... but as your partner, I'd expect at least 2-3 dates per week. (And this is coming from a doctoral candidate working 60+ hours per week. I'm the definition of busy.)

I've both seen and experienced how men behave when they want you. They scramble to make plans.

TigreImpossibile · 2021-08-29T03:24:07+00:00

For the first month, once a week is ideal for me. I don't like to be crowded by a new person.

But after that, I would want to see someone I'm really into and bonding with more, 2 - 4x a week is ideal. Unless they were exceptional and had a really good reason this wasn't possible, I wouldn't want to continue seeing someone only once a week.

The other thing is, if it's work commitments, I don't want to date a workaholic so that's a fundamental life view/compatibility issue in and of itself.

Also, something to consider is that men have been known to breadcrumb women and keep them at arms length by not seeing them too often - don't let a man do this to you and waste your time.

apple_cores · 2021-08-28T20:40:06+00:00

Once a week for 4 months seems stale to me; As if it’s just a standing appointment. Do you feel as if your relationship is growing? Has he ever initiated seeing you more often than once a week? For me, that’s not enough. For the first month or two that’s fine but he should pick up the pace after, especially with exclusive dating.

You’re still only dating, so I wouldn’t expect for him to post you on social media nor would I want that in the early stage. That being said, FDS does not really encourage exclusive dating. You’re putting all your eggs in one basket without the certainty of a relationship.

And a little sidenote on the subject of a man posting his girlfriend on social media: Once you’re in a relationship and he does not or refuses to post you (assuming he is active on social media), then you need to reconsider your relationship. And you shouldn’t even have to ask him to post you, he should want to do it and ask you if he can. The only reason a man won’t post you is to keep his options open. I’ve told this to some of my girlfriends and they argue back that they’ve seen/know men who always post their girlfriend and they still cheat. Yes, but that’s not my argument -There are men who post their SO and do not cheat and there are men who post their SO and still cheat. Yet I’ve never seen a man keep his SO a secret with good intentions.

Men who are serious about you will want to publicly let others know. Again, this is assuming they have social media accounts. Also, if he hasn’t introduced you to his family after you’re officially in a relationship, he’s not serious about you. Just something to consider.

candyfox84 · 2021-08-28T20:26:50+00:00

I find this phase (4-5 months) to be a bit of a watershed moment in any relationship (for me, 3 months is too soon). It will either escalate to commitment (2-3 dates a week), or naturally die out. Has he brought up making anything official? Does he express how he feels? If not, I would distance myself a tad and see how he responds.

It may still be a bit early to put anything on social media. Just my personal preference, but I would wait about a year to share any kind of couple-ish photo.

shedipity · 2021-08-29T02:13:34+00:00

if he’s only seeing you on Saturdays weekly, it’s likely he’s seeing other women too, especially on a Friday night. it seems kind of stale. it doesn’t sound like you’re the woman he wants to really secure. it sounds like you’re just convenient for something to do on a Saturday, especially if you’re intimate with him. I think you know it’s not fulfilling either since you’re asking in the first place and in another comment you mentioned he’s a “commitment phobe” so he literally admitted he’s wasting your time.

purasangria · 2021-08-28T21:04:54+00:00

My take: He's not seeing you exclusively. He's seeing someone else on Friday night.

The fact that you're confused means something is up. Has he asked for exclusivity, or are you assuming? If you asked, and he said, "sure we can be exclusive," that's not good enough. That's him locking you down whilst he continues to search for his dream girl.

Here's an idea: Join a women's dating support group on Facebook. Every area has them. Already in the one I'm in, multiple women have discovered by posting their "boyfriend's" photo in the group, with the innocent question, "Has anyone seen or dated this man?" that their "exclusive" dating relationship was not so exclusive. Multiple women reported either recently seeing him on an OLD site, or having gone on a date with him. In each case the woman broke it off and didn't see him anymore. He was also branded a cheat to the other 3000 women in the group so now we all had warning of this man.

Being introduced to his friends is also no indicator; he may be introducing you to certain friends and not others. If you're seeing the same 6 friends w him, there's a reason. He's not introducing you to his expanded friend group. He's got another woman for that.

Men have zero morals about using women for sex and money. If he's not seeking more of your time, there's a reason. Trying being " busy" more: "Going to a concert with a friend," etc, and date other men unless he's specifically asked for exclusivity.

If a man's into you, he wants to monopolize your time so that you can't see anyone else. He'll also love spending time with you and want more of your company, even during the week.

island_hopping · 2021-08-28T20:18:41+00:00

I can’t see anyone’s comments but I’m getting the notifications. 🤔

spicyspa · 2021-08-29T03:17:36+00:00

No. I don't think you do either because you're asking us.

DuchessDurag · 2021-08-29T03:40:24+00:00

No effort no reward. Once a week for a 4 months is not enough. It’s better for you to talk to other guys and keep going on dates, seeing as your not committed to anyone.

alichuchu · 2021-08-28T20:44:59+00:00

If you want to meet more, I suggest you mention that you would like to meet more often. Observe his reaction. You should never feel confused or uncomfortable while dating someone. Don’t be afraid to drop him if he does not want to make an effort to meet, without a valid excuse.

Although, there should be no reason not to see you if he’s really interested in you.

galian84 · 2021-08-29T06:38:48+00:00

Not a good sign if he’s not trying to escalate the relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised if he is keeping his options open and at the very least, talking to other women. Or as other ladies have mentioned, he has a girlfriend.

I dated a man like this. He didn’t make me his girlfriend until 5 months in, we saw each other about once a week, maybe twice occasionally and he lived 10 minutes away from me. I then found out he was talking to other women, if not going on dates during the rest of the week.

Be wary and keep your guard up. I also saw in other comments that you said he is a commitment-phone. That typically means he’s commitment-phobic to YOU.

saint-jezebel · 2021-08-28T22:54:16+00:00

It is not fulfilling. Let me point some things out:

No social media means you don’t exist. Every Saturday means you revolve your schedule around him and he etches out one day to see you. So you spend 6 days alone to see him one day. Every Saturday means he’s putting in no effort to see you other days. Every Saturday means one day he likely doesn’t allot to social media or speaking to anyone else to make you feel like you’re the only one. If he’s never on his phone around you, that’s a 🚩. If it is like this after 4 months, it’s not going to change. Sorry. Every Saturday means you’re exclusive to him but he’s dating other women. There is literally no excuse. There are many days in the week. Keep your options all the way open. Wider open than a menu. Every Saturday means maybe 8 hours. That’s all you are worth to him. Every Saturday means 4 days a month; a month had 30 days.

I knew a guy like this. It will continue to go nowhere fast. Keep your options wide open. I disappear ✌🏾 but I also don’t care because a situation like this benefits a women in no shape, way or form.

thowawaywookie · 2021-08-28T21:49:03+00:00

What do you actually do when you meet once a week? Does he come to you or you go to him?

katiekat0214 · 2021-08-28T20:59:04+00:00

As a strong introvert, an older woman who's already been married twice, I'd love this. I don't need and absolutely don't want constant togetherness or even to chat/text every day. Living apart together would have to be part of the deal, and that assumes that we already have our own lives, our own routines, and we make space in our lives and routines for each other.

Different, though, from being a younger woman who very much wanted to marry, cohabitate, and have the usual definition of intimacy with a partner. Been there, done that, good the second time, with caveats since he was older, and a pack rat, and had health issues. He was a HVM, but big no thanks to all caregiving from here on out. These days, those wants from younger years have changed a lot. So much depends on where you are in your life cycle.

Sounds to me like you do want more, a lot more, and if you're unhappy with how things are, talk to him, see how he reacts, and suggest changes that work for you. I hope it all works out.

chelseachain · 2021-08-29T12:15:47+00:00

This could go on for as long as you allow it, until the day he finds another girl he is interested in, and he moves mountains to get as much time with her as possible. You unfortunately aren’t that girl.

I’m not saying it to be cruel, I’m saying it because I’ve been there done that and I wish someone had said it to me exactly like that, and that I would’ve actually listened.

Astral_weaver · 2021-08-29T07:41:21+00:00

Four months of this situation it is too much in my opinion. I would just dump him.

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2021-08-28T22:04:35+00:00

I don't like social media posting and specifically tell my BF and men I am dating not to post me. I like to be as invisible to people not in my inner circle as possible. Hence me not having a social media account beside this thing (and I am anonymous on here). As for seeing each other every Saturday, and talking everyday this is my ideal relationship/dating at 28 full time teacher and grad student. Saturdays are my only free days. Besides in the summer.....

But stop asking us what we like. Are you okay with this? Do you want this? If so it and you both discuss this then it is fine. This is ideal for me (counting), but may not be for you.

daglowup · 2021-08-29T04:32:35+00:00

I’m a bit confused, can you clarify on what basis you became exclusive? Was there some kind of conversation about your desire to progress the relationship and escalate into something serious? Because if so, then why are you still only seeing each other once a week? And if no conversation of that kind took place, then why are you exclusive? What are both of your intentions for this relationship?

fdsonlynoscrubs · 2021-08-29T12:37:49+00:00

I was in a similar relationship, but it was 2X per week. It was fine for a little while but after that it was like ummmm is this going to progress or not? When I’m in a relationship, I want to spend weekends together and just be together - not just Tuesday and Saturday nights.

He had good excuses, but ultimately it was unfulfilling for me and so I ended it. Don’t wait as long as I did. If you’re not happy - speak up, ask for what you want, and if it’s not working out then you know what to do.

Kernowek1066 · 2021-08-29T14:10:40+00:00

I wouldn’t be. I did something similar a while ago and lasted a whole four weeks before I just couldn’t put up with it anymore. It felt too low effort to me - if he wanted to he would

taele1996 · 2021-08-29T03:08:06+00:00

My boyfriend would drive down to see me once a week when we first started dating, only because he lives 55 miles away and it’s a pain to sit through 1.5+ long traffic. He did that for a good 7-8 weeks until he asked me to be his gf. Now he just sleeps over on the weekends.

But honestly it’s up to you if you think it’s fulfilling to see him once a week. Going 4 months, meeting once a week, and no clue if he’s gonna make things official is a huge no in my opinion.

AnniaT · 2021-08-29T14:36:52+00:00

What matters is if you feel happy like that or not. For me in the first 1 or 2 months of dating and before being officially in the relationship one time a week with good and thoughtful dates works perfectly. As things develop and the relationship gets deeper, I like being together more often. But it doesn't matter how others feel or like it, it's about if you find it fulfilling for you or not.

purasangria · 2021-08-28T20:14:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Ladies, do you consider seeing a man once a week (every Saturday) as fulfilling dating?
Author	island_hopping
Upvotes	231
Comments	101
Date	August 28, 2021 8:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pdh0it/ladies_do_you_consider_seeing_a_man_once_a_week/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ladies-do-you-consider-seeing-a-man-once-a-week.1065746 https://theredarchive.com/post/1065746

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