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dimsummer-
[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 365 points366 points367 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Negging. 🙄 they think they're so clever
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I see it as outright manipulation. Chances are he's expecting sex as part of his "love language". In that case, he's needy for wanting to put his penis in her. It's reverse psychology.
[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
You're right. IMHO he's needy for even bringing up "love languages." He's so lazy that he needs her to establish and define the most basic desires of any healthy relationship. "How much can I get away with"
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Exactly, before FDS, scrote messages like these would literally make me grimace but I wasn't sure why. There's so much malice and laziness to unpack in these gross messages.
[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
And they really get mad at us for "reading into it too much" or "misunderstanding" them. Like nahhhh lol, once you see it it's pretty clear, and you def can't unsee it
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
I agree. There's no such thing as "reading in too much", imo. I've noticed that phrase used as a gaslighting technique.
At the risk of making this unnecessarily nerdy, I will say that our brains have an unlimited amount of concepts to choose from. Brains specifically choose what to say to help us attain our goals; it's a deliberate process with multiple fields devoted to it (neurology, psychology, etc). Someone who gaslights like that is the kind of person that would hit his partner and then say he doesn't mean it or he was just angry.
[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
That's really cool, thank you for sharing that. It's bananas how heavily we're gaslit into questioning our own reasoning and deduction skills-- trying to dumb us and our intuition down. I think they know our senses are acute and they rightfully percieve it as a threat to their LV attitudes and behaviors. So they shut it down asap.
And no not unnecessary at all! I love how intelligent you and the rest of the women in this sub are. Always willing to converse and share ideas, it's so nice😭♥
[–]top_of_the_stairsFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love how intelligent & chatty the women in this sub are, too! It's so refreshing 🥰
[–]shockingupdateFDS Newbie 288 points289 points290 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It’s like they’re speedrunning getting blocked
[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao basically 🤣
[–]QueenAlice3FDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Awww, you got me to laugh out loud. Is that a love language?
[–]shockingupdateFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It is for me!
[–]MadamLeFayFDS Apprentice 126 points127 points128 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Not that I'd have answered him but: "Would you say you're needy?" "If you think "that's a lot", would you say you're lazy?"
[–]FDS-GFYFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bwahaha. Even a simple: no, I don’t.
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly.
FDS is my favorite logic sub.
[–]TheNightWitchFDS Newbie 118 points119 points120 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The guy who made up the love languages idea for money was a bigot and a homophobe and his ideas are so detrimental to relationships that no decent therapist would ever recommend them. https://link.medium.com/rUWDst6xtib
[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The only therapist to ever recommend it to me was working for a Christian-based practice. The fact it was religiously based was very covert and I had no idea at the time. I was a young teen so I internalized some really shitty stuff that my current therapist(I LOVE her) is still helping me unlearn.
[–]FDS-GFYFDS Newbie 256 points257 points258 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The minute he said love languages I knew he was looking for the act to put on. Thanks for the training, Queens!!
[–]Specific-Composer300 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I only learnt that from this forum today or yesterday 😂😆 in future I'll just say "gifts" 😂
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I say money, gifts and planned vacations. 🥰
[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Apprentice 204 points205 points206 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Love languages are such a scam. It’s how LVM explain away that they don’t know what type of gift to get their gf, or how to give a compliment, or how to be loving.
Your gf being disappointed you got her roses when yesterday she mentioned how much she loves sunflowers does not mean she hates gifts.
[–]quiteshall0wFDS Newbie 73 points74 points75 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The author of this shitty little book is a fundie Christian who specifically wanted to prevent divorces and breakups due to his beliefs.
[–]mashibeansFDS Apprentice 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I didn't know this, thank you for sharing. It's always fucking frustrating to hear about this love languages things, because even here in this sub you have some women who think it's a genuine tool to "explain" or "help communicate" relationships, and I'm all for saying it's all bullshit.
Everyone wants all love languages, period, maybe some more than others, but everyone needs words, gestures, body touch, etc. The only one some people might not like is gift giving, but it's usually for other reasons, like not wanting more things in their space, wanting only very certain things, or being afraid the gift has strings attached.
[–]AdmiralRandoFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! I was a fundie back when I first read this (along with ALL of the women and NONE of the men). I am very surprised to see the resurgence of this lightweight trash.
Please don’t buy into this, ladies. Fucking astrology is better.
[–]abirdoftheskyFDS Newbie 42 points43 points44 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right?? My love languages are all of them. I’m affectionate with my words and touch, I pick up cute little gifts, quality time is obviously desired and important for relationships, and because I love my partner I want to make their lives better through cooking something delicious, cleaning the bathroom, etc.
And you know what? It’s not crazy or needy. It’s healthy. My fiancé does all those things for me. He’ll give me flowers and picks up my favorite chocolate (he just texted me because he passed by a consignment shop and bought me a couple items he thinks I’d like), he does my laundry because I hate it, tells me all the time how much he loves me, gives me plenty of non sexual physical affection, and plans quality dates (even during lockdown! Would plan at home date nights) and likes having phone free time together.
[–]QueenAlice3FDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also that way if you pick one and they do it you’re supposed to be happy despite all their other shitty behavior.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you! 👏🏻 finally, someone said it.
[–]Rosee-lil-feetFDS Newbie 63 points64 points65 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Total Douche
[–]VmchikFDS Disciple 57 points58 points59 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I always answer this and it pisses the men off. Now she’s needy because she expects him to pull all the stops? I’ll also bet you a million dollars he would’ve said physical affection if she answered differently. Their script is getting obvious.
[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 55 points56 points57 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Imagine getting into a relationship where some AH scrote thinks giving your partner attention, gifts, being nice to them is NOT NORMAL and they classify it as "needy"
"You can only get one of the things but I want sex, 50/50 and for you to do all the housework, child birthing and rearing and cooking"
Lol NEXT
[–]dimsummer-FDS Newbie[S] 31 points32 points33 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And you know they want at least three -- physical touch, words of affirmation (free therapy), acts of service (housework/childrearing). Many will want quality time and gifts too. But if we want anything other than physical touch we're needy lmfao
[–]FDS-GFYFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love this idea as a response:
Sex Childbirth Domestic Servant Breadwinner
Pick one, scrote.
[–]BBQCoolRanchQueenFDS Apprentice 255 points256 points257 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Ah yes, the love languages 🙄 or how to guilt women into accepting 1/5 of the bare minimum. Something tells me this scrote was looking for "physical touch".
[–]ArugulaIsAwesomeFDS Apprentice 177 points178 points179 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
It’s always physical touch. 🙄
[–]jupitarianriseFDS Newbie 129 points130 points131 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, meaning letting him beat you up in the bedroom. If you tell him you’d like more hugs, forehead kisses, holding hands in public and stuff he’ll say you’re too needy/being a princess
[–]curiousandbashfulFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
👆
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly, him wanting to put his penis in her so bad means he's needy.
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lmaooo with quality time sprinkled in here and there.
[–]EricaeatscarrotsFDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The emojis make me want to barf
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Theres a certain kind of scrote that overuses emojis...
[–]YellowsunflowerloverFDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And then he was blocked lmaooo.
What a moron.
[–]dimsummer-FDS Newbie[S] 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep!
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Yes." block
[–]hopeful_flounder93FDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I call this the "neg & beg", because it's almost invariably followed by some pathetic way to ask for sex by someone who hasn't been laid in millenia, for good reason
[–]jupitarianriseFDS Newbie 144 points145 points146 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmfaoo he showed all his cards in the first few messages. Block & delete.
[–]Lemon_bars_addictionFDS Disciple 124 points125 points126 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Gentle reminder that dating apps are 99% LVM 1% HVM and you deserve better ♥️
[–]dimsummer-FDS Newbie[S] 29 points30 points31 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I saw the post telling us to delete our dating apps right after posting this and was like, ok this is a sign. Haha.
[–]Fatt3stAveng3rFDS Disciple 106 points107 points108 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, they're a damn scam lol.
I want all of them, too. Attention, affection, affirmation, quality time and presents. A real man won't just do one or two and call it a job well done.
[–]pickmieshaexorcistFDS Disciple 107 points108 points109 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Pft, love language. 🙄 one lady here put it very succinctly when she said something like, I don’t want my relationship a la carte.
[–]wrice05FDS Apprentice 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
praise
[–]dollymyfollyFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Would you say you have nothing of value to offer? 😤🙄
[–]starlight_sequenceFDS Newbie 53 points54 points55 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not that he’s worth it, but my response would be “I would say that I have high standards, which guarantees I only have high quality experiences and high quality people in my life!”
I didn't respond before blocking, but if I had it would be something like this!
[–]Fearless-CookieFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Who else also find this emoji 😜 annoying? I don’t know but it feels like they are trying to undermine their inappropriate and replacing “just kidding” with that emoji.
[–]springtulip475FDS Newbie 77 points78 points79 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
🤣🤣🤣 proof love languages are the ultimate scam
[–]BBQCoolRanchQueenFDS Apprentice 57 points58 points59 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Right? And there's only one "right" answer these scrotes are looking for from a woman; physical touch. Time and attention? Clingy. Acts of service? Free labour. Gifts? Gold digger. As soon as the words "love language" flies out, I'm no longer interested.
My previous therapist introduced me to love languages. Ugh so happy I fired her.
[–]Adventurous_River_64FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
There was a thread on here about LVMs using emojis and this perfectly illustrates that lol
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Lol if u come across it please share. I didn't see that one. But I have serious quams about men and emoji use.
[–]Adventurous_River_64FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ouihh9/men_using_lots_of_emojis_is_a_red_flag/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks! That's exactly it. I dated a rapey scrote who overused emojis.
[–]Adventurous_River_64FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
From a grown man it comes across as something being off.
[–]_RustInPiece_FDS Disciple 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"So....what is your preferred love language?"
"Yes."
[–]Ok-Performance5997FDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I refuse to interact with people who use the 😜 emoji.
[–]Professional-Ad-457FDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Same! Also I dated a guy who used this emoji 🕺for everything. For some reason it gave me the creeps. Made me want to 🤮 🤮 🤮
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thst is bizzare. Hate it when people use ambiguous emojis. I have a feeling men do it on purpose.
[–]Professional-Ad-457FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He did it to emote being happy and upbeat about every little thing - you have similar reddit given name to me except yours is cooler. Mine sounds very corporate!
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, but they're so fake!
Yeah we have similar usernames LOL. We can be corporate and cutey duo. (Cuz peas are cute)
[–]jupitarianriseFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t forget this emoji 😏
[–]Adventurous_River_64FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
this is my personal dealbreaker emoji 🤣
[–]Professional-Pea-317FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My love language is being treated like I'm human. Let's see if you can handle that and we'll go from there.
[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Textbook case
[–]blackmetalbettyFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, they really love that love language bullshit. They know they can starve or deny you the others if you pick the one. And even the one you pick, they'd probably just find a way to weasel out of acknowledging it. Guessing his is touch though and it's terms are indisputable.
[–]Wild_ArtioFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Asking about love languages now will get an automatic block.
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😒 get off OLD.
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[–]throwaway88043468FDS Newbie 365 points366 points367 points (7 children) | Copy Link
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