red flag: "I can't cook"

Asizella · 2021-12-03T07:30:10+00:00

On the flip side, my pickme former self used to gush over "guys that can cook," when really it was more like, know how to make 1 mediocre meal and do so only once in a blue moon when they want to get laid

HoneyBouquet · 2021-12-03T08:40:27+00:00

You know what I love saying to my strict south Asian family?

'Men belong in the kitchen'

The more men are idle, the more problems they cause.

I like a man who goes and does things: cook, go to the gym and lift weights and clean. He has his shit together without asking like me.

heroic_nincompoop · 2021-12-03T07:09:38+00:00

You know what that is? Mama baiting. He's doing a broken bird routine, "Look at me, I'm a bumbling widdle man who can't take care of himself🥺 Won't a strong, independent woman take me on and be my mommy?"in vain hopes some pickme with motherly instincts swoops in to let him suckle at her teats for all of time. Good on you for not falling for it 💪 💖

bleda_princezna · 2021-12-03T09:46:42+00:00

This is the type of guy who will straight up say his potential gf has to be a good cook or asking this question directly before asking someone out. Or have it in his OLD bio.

I always take it as my cue to leave. Not looking for an unpaid internship, bye.

ItLou · 2021-12-03T12:20:02+00:00

Cooking for your partner is not a "basic romantic gesture" because their weaponized incompetence forces the woman to complete this domestic requirement.

It's used to make the woman the task manager, & it simply shows how much of an actual child they are.

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-12-03T12:34:56+00:00

Also, cakes are baking, not cooking lol. What a dumbass this guy is.

iamNaN_AMA · 2021-12-03T14:45:18+00:00

Cooking is literally not even hard. I mean yes, there is an extremely high skill ceiling - I am not a master chef. But you can go a LONG way just being able to read instructions. People think "cooking" is this magical skill but for those of us who aren't professional chefs, it is 95% reading comprehension

amorphouschemical · 2021-12-03T13:03:53+00:00

My brother cooks, my uncle cooks. I had a few exes that cooked. There’s no excuse for an able bodied man not being able to cook.

Vaahla · 2021-12-03T13:57:25+00:00

How do you sustain yourself if you don’t “cook” or at least make food.

I don’t understand how people function in daily life while also being unable to follow the most basic recipe or instructions.

phulkari2784 · 2021-12-03T14:06:44+00:00

Huge red flag! Capable of eating but not cooking. Capable of fucking but not babysitting. Drop such losers ASAP.

pinksamosa · 2021-12-03T10:49:00+00:00

Another red flag is ‘I can cook’ lol. And using it as a flex. I have fallen for that shit way too many times.

JadeBaby2211 · 2021-12-03T11:57:52+00:00

I've heard men label things like cooking and cleaning women's work, meaning that they won't do either because they're afraid of becoming feminine🤣 the "I can't cook" is usually a cover up for mysoginist opinions like that. Feigned incompetence so that he can continue the patriarchical delusion that men shouldn't take care of themselves.

Lady_Schmoobleydong · 2021-12-03T15:15:53+00:00

If you can read, you can cook. Some people enjoy it more than others, some have other cooking aptitudes, totally fine. But the rule is clear, if you can read you can cook.

When my dad started working from home and would cook more, he’d pull fancy gourmet stuff online and go nuts, he was working from home for the first time in 30 years when my mom was commuting, he had no excuse, so he did something about it. He can read, plus having the time, so he can cook.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-12-03T17:47:27+00:00

Oh men can cook, if it's paid labour. 4 out of 5 chefs are male. And they push women out of culinary all the time or prevent them from getting promotions or raises. They don't want to cook if it's unpaid labour.

mashibeans · 2021-12-03T16:00:36+00:00

For me even pre-FDS this was a huge pet peeve when it came to men, or just, adults in general, really. I don't like cooking, I'm not a good cook, but even I can look up recipes and even tips on how to prevent stuff from becoming inedible or crap, or what to make with the groceries you already have at home. Hell, there are RECIPE GAMES in the Nintendo DS, that's how accessible this stuff is. (they aren't even games, they're like the current recipe apps)

This is basic research and critical thinking, not even challenging stuff. Same with the goddamn cleaning afterwards! Why do men always leave a fucking mess, and claim "well, I cooked so you clean," fuck off.

Sorry not sorry, unless you have a very specific mental deficiency/issue, I simply do NOT believe you "can't cook." You can say you don't like cooking and won't do it, but don't bullshit us with your supposed planned incompetence.

seraphinelysion · 2021-12-03T17:46:51+00:00

I like to tell men I can cook and then proceed to never cook anything for them. I won't even let them try leftovers. If we're parroting this 50/50 bullshit, then if I'm not going to get a home cooked meal, then neither are you.

beatlefreak_1981 · 2021-12-03T17:43:18+00:00

If he can't cook he also probably has a shitty diet and doesn't take care of himself in other ways too!

AnniaT · 2021-12-03T13:05:36+00:00

I can't cook that well and never liked cooking but never put on my boyfriends or other people the obligation to cook for me nor made a big deal out of it. Also with YouTube nowadays there's no excuse to not being able to cook something. It's my go to when I want to take cakes or other food for my co-workers or when I want to cook dinner for guests. I'll only do simple things but I'll do it and won't be ranting about how inept I am. My boyfriend is an amazing cook and I've learnt a lot from him. There's no excuse to not learn how to cook something.

Jandi18 · 2021-12-03T19:13:43+00:00

Men will cook a mediocre food, post it on social media and call themselves chefs 🙄. Men in my birth country will tell their wives they prefer fresh food everyday and won’t eat leftovers. West african food takes a lot of time to prepare but these men will still insist to have freshly made 3 square meals. Some of these men ate cereal for break lunch and dinner before they got married but after marriage they treat their wives like slaves.

mandoa_sky · 2021-12-03T11:58:00+00:00

jokes' on them - most days, neither do I

waddamelone · 2021-12-03T16:30:27+00:00

Sounds like a him problem. And why is he bragging about not being able to cook? A basic life skill? 🥴

slayeroftruth · 2021-12-03T18:52:21+00:00

Apple caramel dump cake is so easy my 4-year-old nephew did most of it. You literally just dump layers of stuff then cut up butter to layer it with. He is to cut the butter but put that layer for me as well. He did the layers with me showing him. He did pretty good job by himself. If he can do it then so can this useless lazy slob.

Pretending ignorance on cooking with all our modern convinces with many appliances and easy access many recipes in books and internet is pathetic. Whatever happened to men being masters on grill and smoker and really good chefs?

DuchessDurag · 2021-12-04T04:49:21+00:00

A man who says he can’t cook chooses not to. In a lot of cultures it’s actually the men who cook the huge feasts for festivals and celebrations.

jayda92 · 2021-12-03T15:33:47+00:00

No abled bodied man "can't cook". You can cook good food by looking up a recipe online and following it. No one needs years of experience and culinary schooling to take these basic steps.

My boyfriend admitted on one of our first dates that he's always happy to take me out and pay for dinner, since he can't cook. I also thought it was bullshit, and a major red flag, but he literally burned down kitchens; I can see why... He knows two (healthy) dishes, and they taste very good, but don't ask him to make anything else than that.

Sometimes I cook (but any moment I don't feel like it we go to a restaurant). But. He gets (and pays for) the groceries, he prepares the cooking, he cleans up afterwards, loads and unloads the dishwasher, he is in charge of laundry, he walks my dog unasked, he makes sure the house is tidy and spotlessly clean.. Like a domestic goddess (that I'm definitely not).

Some people can't cook, and that's alright. As long as they contribute and do their share; that's fine by me.

xximaclown · 2021-12-04T19:24:50+00:00

I showed this post to my mum and she wants to say that OP is brilliant.

Every day and basic survival tasks are so easy - they are literally called basic! If a man says "they can't do XYZ basic task" it's usually "I don't want to do this XYZ task."

cutiedew · 2021-12-03T19:53:06+00:00

Ahhh! I agree but if they are disabled (which you kind of mentioned) they may not be able to! There's some conditions where you just don't have the ability. I personally can't cook most stuff becuse ill just faint if I get slightly warm??

Title	red flag: "I can't cook"
Author	mypetchickens
Upvotes	1002
Comments	60
Date	December 3, 2021 6:52 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r7sykf/red_flag_i_cant_cook/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/red-flag-i-cant-cook.1088974 https://theredarchive.com/post/1088974

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