Reminder that this is the common behavior of husbands. Vetting is lethal and so is depending on someone other than your romantic partner

ItsFreezen · 2022-02-07T12:43:11+00:00

"But, But If You Don't Get Married You Will End UP Alone" /s

Carneliancat · 2022-02-07T13:51:06+00:00

This is what happens when society collectively gaslights women and denies us our righteous anger. Instead of grovelling, she would have been able to throw his shit out on the lawn and lock the door behind him. I hope she is able to eventually find her way through the emotional fog and feel her anger. It is a galvanizing and healing force, despite what society tells us. Anger is your humanity asserting itself. It says "what you just did to me is not okay". It says "I do not deserve this treatment". It pulls you away from the people you need to get away from. Nurture and value your anger, ladies. It is powerful, and brings mental clarity.

SavvyPanther · 2022-02-07T12:50:33+00:00

Just to throw in some positivity (because it’s hard to remember that HVM exist when there are soul-crushing stories like this) my cousin got cancer and her husband stayed with her, took full care of their three teenage girls and all of their practices and events, went to all the appointments with her, cooked healthy food, cleaned… just really stepped up and did everything so she could rest and recover. Then after her last treatment (yay, cancer free!) he booked a surprise beach vacation for the whole family coordinated so that her BFF & family rented the beach house next door. My cousin said it was the best week of her life, just chillin on the beach with everyone she loves the most.

honeybadgerattitude · 2022-02-07T10:48:39+00:00

What in the name of the holy goddess is wrong with these unfeeling scrotes!?!?!

kinkardine · 2022-02-07T11:10:51+00:00

Looks like the bigger/fair weather tumour took itself out.

Papaverinum · 2022-02-07T12:44:13+00:00

Why is it always like this?! Either this happens or a woman gets pregnant and her husband turns into an abusive, unsupportive monster...

Japanese_Lasagna · 2022-02-07T14:51:12+00:00

“In sickness and in health” clearly are just meaningless words when a sizable portion of men choose to marry. It’s quite possibly the most important vow, and yet they toss it aside when it inconveniences them. What’s the point of getting married if you can’t have someone to lean on for support when times get tough for things that are out of your control?

broogaloo · 2022-02-07T12:17:47+00:00

This is probably my biggest fear about getting married. You vet and vet and vet, but there’s no way to know if he’d do this when the unthinkable happens. I know I would vow to be by my partner’s side through sickness and in health, but what if they just…did this?

SerialGeneralist · 2022-02-07T13:54:26+00:00

But they love to sit online complaining that women don’t care about their feelings. But they don’t also talk about how they will cheat on their pregnant/sick wife or in worse case scenario: leave. It’s all about them and only them. Pull a man’s move on him and he is ruined for life. I’ve heard way too many women talk about how their husbands showed their true colors during such a vulnerable time. Hell even I can remember when I had an emotional breakdown on the stairs and my ex at the time sat and continued to play his game. Another ex went out with his friend and was gone all day when I was so overwhelmed emotionally. I broke down on shoulder and he decided going out was more important. But when he acted like he was going to throw his big ass out the window while I lived on the 13th floor I was there for him emotionally. This was after he lied about going to meet a girl and claimed he was depressed. He just didn’t want me to break up with him. The only time a man was there is the guy I’m dating now. My favorite cousin died during thanksgiving week and I was having a hard time with my emotions but he was there. I was so used to being ignored I didn’t know how to handle it his affection but I appreciated him being there. Not even my own dad gave a damn.

drowsypillowprincess · 2022-02-07T14:48:04+00:00

This is normal. And that’s the horror.

Men care only about what women can give to them. When a woman can no longer offer 24/7 smiles and perform 27/7 caretaking of men’s performative infantilism and daily existential crisis that they’re 37 and somehow not Luke Skywalker** yet, they nope out to find another woman who will continue to lie to them about their exceptionalism.

Wives always stay. Wives are the table. But husbands are—more often than not—useless extra mouths to feed.

**Insert pop culture protagonist of your choice, but I’ve always found Star Wars obsessed men to be particularly needy. It’s become it’s own red flag for me.

quasarbar · 2022-02-07T13:54:08+00:00

He can't take the stress and anxiety that her condition is causing him! Oh that poor, dear man. What an awful wife to make his life harder with her disease.

/s

TVsFrankismyDad · 2022-02-07T14:50:39+00:00

But...men are providers who love women unconditionally!

Hope that guy gets hit by a bus.

FUBARfromLSA · 2022-02-07T15:08:23+00:00

As a breast cancer survivor, I went through something very similar.

sigh

The way I was treated was harder to go through than the actual cancer.

The cancer is over. Well for now at least.

But the scars and trauma from being abandoned remain.

Davina33 · 2022-02-07T14:49:32+00:00

Heartless scumbag of a man.

queenofswordsxxx · 2022-02-07T13:06:10+00:00

Fair weathers friends…. More like fair weather scores 😭

WandernWondern · 2022-02-07T14:46:52+00:00

These fair weather husbands.

goatismycopilot · 2022-02-07T15:20:02+00:00

I have a friend who had to drive herself to radiation treatments at first when she got diagnosed with breast cancer because it was too " stressful" for her husband. Between her teenaged son and her friends everybody stepped in. She divorced him.

thewetdog_ · 2022-02-07T15:07:34+00:00

There should be no higher shame, this guy shouldn’t be able to show his face at the town supermarket or post office without getting nasty looks and told off by real men.

zorua · 2022-02-07T15:44:23+00:00

It hurt my heart to read that post this morning. The fact she wants to give up and not have treatment... what an awful man for leaving her all because its too much for him. If he had cancer she would've moved mountains for him no doubt.

The_Cat_Empress · 2022-02-07T15:18:05+00:00

Ugh. I’m so damn TIRED OF THIS.

I hope Queen continues to receive treatment and when her scrote of a husband comes crawling back she can give him a nice healthy kick in the balls.

F*ck this guy. I hate him.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-02-07T16:00:24+00:00

Men see sick wives as damaged goods.

Why? Because they think of them as objects, as property. Men objectifying women = the source of perceiving virginity as women's value. A woman that has had other relationships and has had sex = is seen as "used".

A woman that gets sick is left by her husband because he sees her life threatening disease as an inconvenience to him.

Fucking 🤡. No mercy for these men!

MsWriteNow07 · 2022-02-07T15:48:00+00:00

God bless this woman. But I don’t think that we have to worry about this. I actually know two women this happened to in real life. One’s husband divorced her when she was suffering through her second bout of breast cancer and the other woman’s husband stayed, but refused to take her to chemo or do anything at all to help her. He was pissed she was no longer able to do all the housework and childcare. Both women’s husbands cheated on them A LOT while they were being treated. Here’s what I learned from that situation. The man who would leave you when you have cancer was not a good husband to begin with. Both of these men were serial cheaters, with huge entitlement complexes, who treated their wives as subhuman to start with. They were the kind to talk over their wives, to expect their wives to never have a “off day “even when they were sick with a cold or pregnant or whatever.

Yes, I do think this is an entirely male phenomenon and it’s some thing women should be aware of, but the Venn diagram of men who would leave you during cancer and men who we eliminate with FDS vetting is a circle. Yes, of course, Brad who wants to go 50-50 on that coffee date, and expects you give it up after a walk in the park would leave you if you couldn’t sexually service him because you were too sick from chemo. But is there really a need to be worried about a man who waited for you for months, planned high value dates, and always takes care of you when you’re sick now? With men there’s always a slight risk involved, but you’re probably good.

Title	Reminder that this is the common behavior of husbands. Vetting is lethal and so is depending on someone other than your romantic partner
Author	Muffcakelord
Upvotes	534
Comments	59
Date	February 7, 2022 10:23 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/smmz8i/reminder_that_this_is_the_common_behavior_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/reminder-that-this-is-the-common-behavior-of.1100585 https://theredarchive.com/post/1100585

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