Question for all you men.

Unnecessary_Timeline · 2022-10-04T16:30:25+00:00

Yes, I did in college. I went to some Feminist events/meetings on campus and had a friend who became very...passionate.

By my 3rd year of undergrad I had become pretty disillusioned with the movement. I didn't like how Feminist talking points had become prominently featured in my courses (Psychology), how my friend basically only wanted to talk about Feminism and because mean about it, how the events and meetings I'd go to became aggressive and a competition who could be more oppressed. Not to mention the cringe slam poetry!

Also, I was one of the only men at these things and it wasn't because men didn't want to be there. Men would come to one meeting and never come back, probably because the atmosphere was so suffocating and unwelcoming. If you were new to Feminism, you'd dare not open your mouth or ask a question because if you said something in ignorance, the whole room would dogpile on you.

I got the feeling they didn't want men at these things, and the only reason they tolerated me was because I came with my outspoken friend and I am a gay man. I felt that if I wasn't gay they would not have tolerated my presence as much. Which is really fucking shitty.

Anyway, I eventually saw these meetings and topics were mostly just venting session for women and not actually anything productive or academic, so I stopped going to them. I started noticing in my courses how incredibly biased some gendered topics were, because anything about gender was framed from a Feminist perspective.

A lot of things in Developmental Psych, Social Psych, Cognitive Psych, Human Sexuality, Child Development, Abnormal Psych, were all dripping in Feminist dogma and were presented in a "this is correct and any other POV is not only academically incorrect, but morally wrong". There was no room for discussion or background or competing views when Feminism intersected with the topic. It felt very un-academic.

So by the time I graduated I no longer considered myself a Feminist. Of course I support women's issues, abortion, contraceptives, equal opportunity, mutual respect. Feminists hear that and always say "Well you're a feminist and you just won't say it!" No, I'm not a Feminist because I don't support the rigid, inflexible dogma that doesn't allow any discussion or dissent. I don't support the attitude of "If you don't agree with us you're not only incorrect, you're morally unsound."

Reddit1984Censorship · 2022-10-04T14:36:35+00:00

I used to consider myself feminist when i was politcaly unaware, becoming aware of the actual policies and real life effects feminism has and pushes was a shocking experience.

WeEatBabies · 2022-10-04T14:37:20+00:00

About 15 years ago, I was the most solid male feminist you ever met!

I read all the posts about grape and how women are unsafe. I sympathized with all of them.

Then I read this article, about a false grape accusation. The false accusation does not get to me, but when the victim asked the D.A. why he wasn't going to charge his accuser with perjury, the D.A. replied, we will not be opening that can of worms.

I went to feminists with this, thinking they would be as outraged as me.

Boy, did I get a surprise! I got called everything you can imagine, grape apologist, misogynist and all!

Slowly but surely I realized, thanks in part thanks to this sub, that their movement was not about justice nor equality!

lurker-burner · 2022-10-04T15:24:13+00:00

Raised by single mom and was kind of programmed to be one. I even buried the inner voice that kept trying to tell me something was not right with my outlook. I was even mentally preparing myself for a life of stereotypical male feminist and then one day YouTube recommended a video on self improvement - forgot what it was - wasn't a big channel just some guy talking about narcissists. Read a little up on human psychology (layman-level) and it changed my life
EDIT: found the channel - it was Richard Grannon

Woozuki · 2022-10-04T17:20:59+00:00

Never. Always knew the third wave was a crock of shit.

Their lynchpin, that, women on average get lower wages than men, is demonstrably and categorically false. The blue hair, obesity, and tattoos all follow from this one argument.

The west needs saving.

2022-10-04T16:00:11+00:00

Yes, in the casual feminism=equality sense. But even then I remember being shouted down in class for saying I'd rather have had periods than being forced to fight in WWI after another classmate was lamenting about how bad women have always had it, her example being her period. Which bothered me but I would have still just agreed that I was a feminist because I support equality.

But then I went to university and stumbled across a Karen Straughen video and that was that

BlockBadger · 2022-10-04T17:05:32+00:00

Yep, used to be full on part of the cancel culture mob, fell into deep depression not really knowing why. Turns out I hated myself.

Jakeybaby125 · 2022-10-04T16:01:22+00:00

I used to back when I was in my mid teens when I thought it was about equality. I was all about feminism and, when the MeToo movement came about, I was in full support of it. Then Depp V Heard happened. As everyone else was, I was in full support of Heard and thought Depp was a monster. Then the texts came out. I thought it was interesting and went to see what feminists were thinking. Nothing. Not a single whisper. Everyone was still condemning Depp and praising Amber and I thought 5hat it wasn't right. Then I went down the rabbit hole of the feminist movement. Now I am the main mod for r/antifeminists

liga__privada · 2022-10-04T16:59:12+00:00

I was a feminist until I learned what feminism is....

trashtony69 · 2022-10-04T18:32:44+00:00

My views on feminism/being a feminist shifted about 4-5 years ago. I was programmed to believe in all aspects of male privilege and that any issue a man would face surely wasn’t because he was a male. I did my own in depth research and lived my own life altering experiences that made me realise not only is that so incredibly far from the truth, but our issues are often silenced and believed to be nonexistent. I guess I just stopped being naive and listening to the media’s obvious feminist agenda push that’s shoved down our throats on a daily basis. But realising how much feminists try to hide and misinform on male sexual assault/rape statistics was my real turning point after being sexually assaulted and raped by women; I’ve woken up to how they’d prefer to refer to this as a rare possibility instead of acknowledging the severity of which it’s actually happening.

ReWildingOfMen · 2022-10-04T16:30:11+00:00

I never called myself a feminist....

But being the eldest son of a vulnerable-narcisistic mother... I was heavily indoctrinated in certain ideas.... That only really start getting thrown off in my late 20s to early 30s, a decade or so ago.

In many ways I was so terrified of 'being like my father' that I was easy to bring into line by such abusive women by drawing such a distinction implicitly or explicitly.

So I probably embodied certain male feminist 'qualities' some of the time during a certain period of my life 🤢🤮

ThisGuyCrohns · 2022-10-04T17:06:38+00:00

I would have considered myself a feminist at one point, and I’m still for equal rights of everyone. But I can’t participate in the feminist discussion anymore, it’s gone too far, it’s too much hate, and blatant misandry which has gone unchecked.

Even Reddit policies are discriminatory towards men. “Men are not a protected group” but women are. That’s still 50/50 of the entire population. You can hate on men all you want, but you can’t hate on women or you’re out. While hate is bad either way, it shows the dramatic shift that men are the lesser group, which is causing a huge rift in society.

Lionheart27778 · 2022-10-04T17:15:29+00:00

About 10-15 years ago yeah...kinda.

The main problem with men's rights in general, is that guys/girls often don't understand why it is needed and that men are disadvantaged in many areas ,until they go through an event/personal crisis that opens their eyes.

Most dad's for example, don't really understand how unfavorable family court is to men .. until they experience it first hand.

Modern feminism also does a really good job of portraying women to be only victims and fully takes advantage of the "women are wonderful effect" in order to achieve their goals ,while simultaneously downplaying men's issues.

This leads to a lot of the population demonising men's rights.

tenchineuro · 2022-10-04T16:53:29+00:00

Age 13-20, I was a liberal feminist. Yes I believe that everyone should be treated equally and have the same opportunities. Feminism now entails so much more than equality of opportunity. Feminism has turned into a political movement that is trying to force men into a corner whilst disregarding the incredible things that men do and have done.

Munstruenl · 2022-10-04T14:44:27+00:00

I am a 28 year old dude- I have had some unique experiences (father in prison, raised by single mother). I was taught in school (high school and college) how "men make a dollar to 70 cents of a women" and saw girl classmates get upset. At the time I didn't understand how wrong the "70 cents to a dollar" argument was but after seeing how some of my friends that were girls or classmates that were girls reacted to that I instantly became anti feminist. I grew up resenting everybody and everything because of the life I had and although I did have it harder in some ways I learned to not go through life assuming people have less problems then you have. Why? Because that isn't fair to them and that isn't fair for you. I saw girls who were privileged given the fantastic gift of resentment (/s) from an early age, and that made me despise feminism ever since. I realized that at one point in my life that if I kept going in that direction I was going to end it all, it made me furious beyond words at how my problems were 2nd to girls who were more privileged than me. And despite being evicted from my childhood home with my mom and struggling for a long while (things are better now) the BIGGEST mental problem I had was my resentment towards feminism and the idea that I was privileged no matter what. It drives me mad seeing these girls who have every opportunity in life that I have (if not more in some cases) hold resentments they have no right to have, that is no way to live life. That is why I am a mens rights activist, we MUST push back, we are not only fighting for our piece of mind but theirs.

je97 · 2022-10-04T17:28:46+00:00

I'm a (m/m) rape victim. I was rather neutral on the subject (mens rights/feminism, not rape obviously) however when it happened to me and I received no support from the police, and was even turned away from rape crisis lines I realised how bad the deal is for male victims. I'm not saying being a female victim is fun, but at least support exists and the police don't routinely laugh at them.

blast4310 · 2022-10-04T17:52:57+00:00

Hell no!

I support equal opportunity, but men and women are never equals to one another. The best they can be is complimentary.

International_Risk82 · 2022-10-04T16:58:02+00:00

Was never a feminist. The idea of equal rights was fine but having a political movement about gender equality named "feminism" never sat right with me and it felt like a farce intended to impose an equally stupid narrative. Sure enough, over the years my suspicions were proven right by all the misandrist crap I saw coming out of these vile excuses of human beings.

JxSparrow7 · 2022-10-04T17:52:00+00:00

I haven't. I'm gay and as a man who loves men I didn't have the normal "blinders' many of my straight brethren have. . I saw the manipulation without the feeling of attraction.

Gpda0074 · 2022-10-04T18:06:04+00:00

I used to be until I was about 20 and found the family court/ divorce statistics as well as when they began to tick up so badly. That was right at the launch of 60's style feminism. When people blamed men for ALL OF IT and insisted women bore no accountability, it made me question it. Then I questioned everything, dug into it myself, discovered a new hobby in reading about history, cultures, economics, etc. Turns out, feminism is a bunch of bullshit propogated by bored rich people 100 years ago. It was the 1910 version of trans rights, it just refuses to die.

Peaceandwholsomemes · 2022-10-04T17:33:08+00:00

Me basically a year ago I was saying to myself oh well girls get it so bad and I should support them and then came up the subject of abortion in my family. My mum was like well the women have it hard because a man can leave a woman and kids whenever and I said well a woman will get the benefit of the doubt if it comes to a divorce. She agreed with me but still said that the women had it harder and that’s where I started. But what sealed the deal was an article about how a women giving false allegations of sa put like 3 men in prison and when they were few she didn’t have any punishment.

Now I’m a firm believer in equal rights for all no matter what your gender or race is

sugens · 2022-10-04T17:52:59+00:00

I had a friend that was a pretty intense feminist. I supported her and her boyfriend in a lot of ways regarding feminism for years but I don’t think I ever was a feminist. Because she was a bit radical of a feminist and became more and more so throughout the years.

The misandry became more and more apparent when she kept generalizing things about men towards the men that hung out with us. Saying things like I’m so lucky to be a man. That I have it so much easier than women because of my male privilege.

I’ve always replied back with things like it shouldn’t be generalized because everyone is different. Men has advantages and disadvantages differently for each one of us while women has the same. I certainly didn’t have all those advantages she used as examples.

thegreatrodent · 2022-10-04T20:42:18+00:00

About 8 years ago back in college I would have considered myself a feminist.

I used to believe their little lie about feminism just meaning equality, something I had and still have no problems with. Since I was doing my minor in history at the time I decided to take a break from regional history classes to try a Women's History class. It was titled "From Goddesses to Witches, Women throughout history" and gave both a history and gender studies credit. I genuinely thought nothing of it and was full of eagerness to learn something new.

Right off the bat I noticed that there were very few men. Probably 10 of us compared to the 90 or so women. I wasn't intimidated, I love history and overall just had high hopes...

It was terrible.

Never in my life have I ever been in such a hostile environment, and i was mostly smart enough to keep my mouth shut and listen from the sidelines. One guy tried to disagree with a point being made, he had like 10 women (and 1 male "ally" that had been bragging about getting a vasectomy at age 26) screeching at him. It was also less about history and more a group therapy session for mostly upper middle class women to complain about the oppression they never faced, presenting women as eternal slaves that got to stay at home while men had all the fun dying in wars, go figure.

I also remember one woman sitting behind me casually remark how society would be better if men who commit crimes were castrated. Another advocated that women hitting men is far less of a problem due to physical strength differences. Yet another woman had a low key meltdown for having to read Socrates for class because he was "sexist" apparently. It was also where I learned that women can do no wrong either, after all, "internalized misogyny" magically made it mens fault even when the perpetrators were women. I also learned that having balls and sitting with your legs even slightly apart might as well be a crime against humanity.

After a semester of that garbage I was done, watching some Karen Straughan videos sealed the deal for me. I've lived overseas, I'm mixed, I know what it's like to be hated for my race, my nationality and my faith from a very young age, but never in my life did I assume I'd be hated for being male in the 2010's and beyond. Every year since then, I just see feminists going further and further off the deep end and I want NOTHING to do with them or their misandrist little cult.

Nathaniel66 · 2022-10-04T18:36:05+00:00

I am 100% feminists. Full equality. Women to the mines, garbage industry, to the high voltage lines and so on. If they don't want it, than call me a conservative guy who would like to see women in their feminine roles.

elebrin · 2022-10-04T16:39:43+00:00

I was raised in a very apolitical household. My mother didn't talk about politics with us, she rarely listened to political news, and she taught us to focus on ourselves and our own lives above everything else. Political action is all well and good but taking responsibility for ourselves is far more powerful and there is far more to gain from doing that.

She herself always voted, but she avoided primaries largely because voting in a primary meant signing up for a party and getting harassed on the phone, by mail, and by doorknockers. I've done the same myself. I very much do not want people at my door or calling my phone, nor do I want a mailbox stuffed full of political garbage. For that reason, I stay away from the primary stuff and having an official party membership.

TrilIias · 2022-10-04T17:57:11+00:00

I don’t know that I would have called myself a feminist, I wasn’t actively engaged in feminist organizations or feminist groups, but my opinions were basically: “Feminism is good and anyone who opposes it is an idiotic misogynist.”

Then I met a woman who openly criticized feminism, and I was shocked. I mean, she clearly wasn’t a misogynist, so how could say that?

That sent me down a rabbit hole, I ended up finding YouTube videos, both pro and anti-feminist. At first I mostly only looked at videos made by women, I would have felt oddly guilty listening to a man criticizing feminism. The anti-feminists made good points, and I was rather taken by surprise to have all of my previous assumptions challenged.

IceCorrect · 2022-10-04T14:47:55+00:00

Never. I allways belived in equality, never seen how one gender have more rights than other one.

crz8956 · 2022-10-04T14:54:26+00:00

point in your life you considered yourself feminist?

I never had, nor I intend to.

I was born in a country and nation, where women were seen as equal to men (aside from physical differences) since like IX-X century.

nkw1004 · 2022-10-04T16:54:09+00:00

I’m down the middle, I agree that some things regarding men need to be fixed while also agreeing some things regarding women need to be fixed. Leaning into one side too much is the reason everything just goes back and forth and we can’t just solve both issues simultaneously

Sitheral · 2022-10-04T17:55:44+00:00

Never. I always looked at it as something that was necessary at one point in history and today should become something else entitely, that we should be beyond fighting for particular groups and focus on all humans, no, all living beings being treated fairly, which to be fair does seem impossible in many ways but its a worthwhile ideal to pursue.

dungeonmonkey69 · 2022-10-04T20:45:12+00:00

I was definitely brainwashed during the whole #MeToo movement a few years back. I honestly thought it was a movement for good until I learned Asia Argento the leader of #MeToo was a sexual predator herself. Then I saw the fall of Louis C. K., Aziz Ansari, and Johnny Deep.

That’s when I began to realize the feminist movement isn’t about female empowerment or equality. It’s about punishing men.

Modern day feminism is absolutely HORRIBLE for women. For fucks sake, Roe V. Wade was overturned right under the feminists watch. They didn’t do shit.

If I was a woman I’d be disappointed and ashamed at how ineffective and worthless the modern feminist movement has been.

Egalitarianwhistle · 2022-10-04T22:50:37+00:00

I considered myself a feminist up until my roommate was falsely accused of rape just after the Kavanaugh confirmation.

I came forward with evidence that she was telling lies and I was labeled a "rape apologist" by people I thought were my friends.

Up until that time I considered myself a feminist. Now I realize that it means you ignore evidence and due process. No thanks!

miroku000 · 2022-10-04T18:08:59+00:00

I never liked the term "feminist" because the term itself is not gender neutral. Like there is even a debate about whether or not men can be feminists, and men being feminists leaders is strongly frowned upon. So, the movement itself, is structured around more around the advancement of women, than around gender equality. As such, any man or woman or anyone else for that matter who wants to advance the cause of gender equality, should begin by rejecting feminism and supporting gender equality in all cases for all genders.

damn_son5 · 2022-10-04T18:15:25+00:00

Yeah I was a feminist at one point. Then I recognized it for what it was and became an anti-feminist. Then I started seeing anti-feminism as mostly destructive and a rather mindless reaction to feminism. Now I don’t want to be associated with either camp. I mostly avoid serious discussions about equality and gender, especially if it turns ideological.

Reasonable_Listen514 · 2022-10-04T18:58:11+00:00

Honestly, I did, around college age when I truly beleived being feminist just meant believing in equal rights. That's how they draw people in, with a fake mission statement that sounds good and like the right thing to do. I woke up to the fact it is nothing but a supremacist movement and hate group over a decade ago, and opened my eyes to the inequalities MALES face that get absolutely ignored, and even seeing feminists cheer for bad things to happen to men and boys.

postanator · 2022-10-04T20:14:52+00:00

The war argument. Women complained about how they have it so bad but if something happens women and girls are protected but boys and men are sent to die. Like right now millions of men could potentially be called up to fight in a war nobody wants, yet the same cannot be said for women

Positive-Ad-1859 · 2022-10-04T20:25:02+00:00

I believe in equal rights, same pay ect. I also will hold the door open for women or anyone. That being said feminists are toxic man hating b****s and I'll never support them. If anything they drive men away from their cause

DetailApprehensive32 · 2022-10-04T20:31:14+00:00

It can work in heavily oppressed countries where rights of women are baffled since birth - no education , poverty and modern slavery. I would fight for their right. Not for the snowflakes women who has everything in the western world and hating on men just because men are technically more competitive while they feel entitled for privileges masked as rights.

Sir-Woodship · 2022-10-04T20:59:21+00:00

When i met my wife she was athletic, smart and strong willed. My father died early and my mom runned her hamburger business on her own for 17 years. So i was used to strong women and i liked them. I always followed women sports and admired their strong and beautifull bodies. Ive always looked like shit and didnt think i could ever get a woman i fancied. My mother couldn't cope with the stress of a business and having a teenager at home. She started beating me up, that way i lost respect for her kind of women. I moved out when i was 21 and by that time ive become and still am a Christian, as my mother was a staunch atheïst. After some months i met the women who became my wife. Strong, beautifull, smart. She liked me because i was honest and serious about relationships. We dated a while and became engaged. Somhow she could look through my looks and see me as i am. Ive always been seen as a creep and undisered because of how i look. So i already hated feminism. But i couldn't give her up because i love her. She didnt care i hated every form of activism. For two years i helped her training for marathons etc, then she became unable to do sports because she damaged her ankles and neck. She started to drink to be able to cope. She became a alcoholic. Three years i tried to help her quit drinking. Every two months back to rehab. One day i had enough. I took the lead and forced her to stop drinking and limit pain medication to the prescribed amount. We had serious fights about it. She was then seriously overweight. So she got a stomach surgery and i made her belief she couldn't have a drop of alcohol anymore because she would die from it. From those years of alcohol abuse and heavy opiates she became less able to think logical and solve problems. We got married Four months before the surgery. And we are now married for about Four years. She is thankfull to me because i stayed with her through all the shit. I am now the boss of the house, i run finances and everything. She still has difficulty sometimes with that and still thinks herself a bit feminist. But after those little fights she's always again happy i still love her. She has been diagnosed with autism and a light form of schizophrenia. It's sometimes hard to keep her of the pills. And if she goes to the grocery store she buys energy drinks and tobacco for Three weeks because she cant calculate how much she needs for one week. So i don't let her do that anymore. It is very often not easy to keep everything always in check. But i couldn't live without her. We have been through so much and Ive build my whole adult life around her. Don't understand me wrong, she isn't a sort of retard now, she still can be witty and point something out i didnt think about. But she is in no way the woman i fell in love with. Still i adapted to her new self and learned to love her as she is now. It isn't a easy life but it's worth it. She gives very funny remarks on things, we build our own fantasy world and her manners are very cute. I simply enjoy seeing her Being busy with things, seeing her walk and hear her speaking. We are always very tight on money because of our bills but we do fine. Im always kind and try to help People out in the neighbourhood. And she doing what she able to do in the household dispite of being most of the time very ill. My health isn't good to because of stress, eating junk and inherited diseases. Our house we rent is in bad state, i try to repear things. And we only have a moped to drive about, but i cant say im not happy. I hope we can move someday in a nice trailer because ive grown up in one. And living in a badly isolated and run down house isnt fun. i dont want anything to change about our relationship. I hope we will live for a lot more years and being in love. On the subject of todays feminism, i think it's a intently formed plan of elites to use misguided unstable individuals to get marriage exstinct and derail society. Those People have a lot of surpressed anger because of abuse they got at home and untreated mental illnesses. Other feminists are often spoiled rich children who don't get a lot of attention from their parents and seek a meaning in life and something to rebel against. And because feminism is promoted in school the last decades it's easy accessed by impressionable youngsters. Ive become the boss in the household to keep us from getting into depts and troubles and because it was the only way to survive. After all those years our relationship is still going strong, we keep true to eachother and believe in eachother. Thanks yall.

QuestlessSeeker · 2022-10-04T20:59:49+00:00

I’ll try and condense a lot of trauma.

Raised by a single mom…both my mother and father had a part to play in him not being there. Always felt weak and was picked on. Did well in school but cried amongst peers. Aimed for Drum Major (bandsmen leader of the marching band) and made it for my Senior year in high school.

Then I started dating.

I brought up my earlier life because due to what I experienced, I was a feminist by ENVIRONMENT all of K-12. All of the equality beliefs and being “a gentlemen” like my mom taught was front and center, I used to look at men that treated women mean or cheat as just the worst human, women could do no wrong, and well…it back fired bad…from 17-maybe 26 I had about 10 relationships (because I felt I needed validation from women) where these women ran a muck on my Psyche…the cheating, lying, and abuse was ridiculous..at around 20 is when I found certain books like “No more Mr. Nice Guy” and redpill before it got so popular…started doing more research about the things happening to men, cause I KNEW what was happening to ME…started finding out through experience that the more brutally honest, and unwavering I am with them, the more I was respected…yet they’d have this strange compulsion to be turned on by MORE aggression…had me feeling like I could only get success/attraction from them if I was “bad” …and just feeling like I had to do that to make a family, made me sad…made me question just a lot in general…then I look to women I probably will never meet on the internet or former classmates maybe…and just see how they don’t give a smooooooooth f**k about noooooooooone of us…I remember finding out about incels and being just heartbroken…I felt “lucky” for just even having intercourse and relationships if I go for it…let alone women being disgusted at my existence…everything kinda came together for me at some point…

I don’t remember when I stopped being a feminist, I just know for me reality beat the snot out me to prove it, then rushed in the data to back it up…

CommonAd9065 · 2022-10-05T14:25:22+00:00

I’m a woman but i’ve seen some things as an ex far left feminist that I think is very much worth mentioning. During the midsts of the KAM movement, a rumour was made saying that a 10 year old boy had killed himself bc of it. Obviously this wasn’t true but a lot of women bought it and celebrated in the comments of videos talking about it on TikTok, laughing about it or saying they hope it’s true. There were a lot of videos of women encouraging girls to make only fans for empowerment and to take advantage of men who hadn’t received attention from women. The reason why I left however, because (ridiculously) this wasn’t enough for me to change my views on feminism, I decided to go into sociology to become more educated on women’s issues and realised that men have a fuckton of issues aswell and that feminism would do a lot more effective being catered towards both genders. This suggestion got loads of backlash however and now here I am trying to get more perspective on what it’s like being a man.

edit: grammar

DavidByron2 · 2022-10-04T14:28:58+00:00

might be more of an /r/AskMen question? Or you could google opinion polls on it.

what's the context for you wanting to know?

CawlinAlcarz · 2022-10-04T14:48:32+00:00

Never did I ever consider myself a feminist - I'm 52 years old for some perspective.

I considered myself (and still do) to be someone who believes in equality of opportunity for people, regardless of anything about their sex, sexuality, race, religion (provided their religion isn't to destroy my culture and country), etc.

TAPriceCTR · 2022-10-04T18:29:29+00:00

I used to be very gynocentric but by the time I learned the term feminist, I already knew the term egalitarian and was developing in that direction. I saw feminist bias before trusting the feminist claims so no, I've never considered myself a feminist.

Christie o misty introduced me to dropping gynocentrism from my egalitarianism... that there were some things that men in particular suffer.

I'd love to cease to be an MRA but until the mission of equality is accomplished, I will continue to counter the prevaling lies that are destroying our civilization and maintaining the gynocentrism that is both in human nature and socialized in our culture.

Professional-You2968 · 2022-10-04T18:55:02+00:00

I have always been for equal rights, but dealing with feminists made me an antifeminist.

Affectionate-School3 · 2022-10-04T19:05:22+00:00

You’ll probably see a partisan divide in answering this question. Liberal anti-feminists here are probably going to say that they were once feminists, like myself.

So supportive of feminism did I used to be that I chose to be an at home dad at great cost to my reputation among people I was unfortunate enough to call family. I pointed to lack of women representations in government and corporation heads.

I still point to these things. It changed for me during the ascension of Don Trump, but I know feminism had problems even before then. Where feminism took a disastrous turn is when it started applying these elite disparities to the regular population. I investigated these claims about pay disparity and started getting really upset that the official claims are very disingenuous, as if women automatically get a lower salary based on gender. The reality is that women occupy the lower paying jobs of teaching and nursing because they are supplementing their male partner’s higher salaries. They are also primary caregivers which removes them from the opportunities to make more money. The same reasons the pay gap exists are also reasons why most ‘underpaid’ women are still getting that pay by virtue of their partners’ salaries.

Don’t get me started on the way feminism corrupted mental health counseling, mentioned by others here. I called out some female counselors for their women’s bias during my marriage counseling. They ended up agreeing with me because why wouldn’t they, I was right? They should have known they were not capable of counseling men instead of pretending they could.

I mostly just hate inaccurate information, especially when it’s religiously defended by an anti-intellectual infantry. These are the reasons I resist both right wing ideology and current feminist ideology. And anything else the left might say that is not independently verifiable.

I’m a champion of the true oppressed classes, so racial oppression. This false feminism just takes attention away from that front. Few of the popular feminist points have much to do with women of racial minorities.

peteypete78 · 2022-10-04T19:17:10+00:00

When I was young and stupid.

No_Fan6078 · 2022-10-04T19:27:03+00:00

since I was a child, I just remember how I was called out for try girls in the same way than men, like "she is a girl, you should do that", I was force to apologize to a girl in third grade for playing football, according to them I wasn't allow to hit girls, of course that is correct but they didnt say too much when I show them where she hits me first lol according to them I was lying , I still remember it like fuck what kind of school I did staudy.

2022-10-04T20:17:07+00:00

Never saw myself as a feminist, never bought into socially politically correct narratives, always saw myself as someone who questions things they try to brainwash into believing.

HannibalsProtege · 2022-10-04T21:11:54+00:00

I'll never forget her name.

I'll never forget how the LAUSD pushed her out the door because she was actively promoting a better grading system for students after noting that male students were being critiqued harshly than female students.

They tried to downplay it, by stating that the stressors of her family (her mother had some bad health issues) had taken a mental toll on her and she would have a leave of absence. That was partly the truth, a perfect balance of truth and deception.

She was my Honors Euro History teacher, a damn good instructor, a woman who cared about all of her students -- even the fuck ups, and was a lighthouse for those of us in the dark. To some of the students she was a punchline because she was a lesbian. But a bright woman who deconstructed all of my arguments -- with logic -- when I called myself a male feminist.

She asked me a basic question, if feminism is about equality why does our government stop young women from registering with Selective Service? But for young men like me at the time (this was the early 2000's; my high school tenure was '98 - '02) I had no idea how unequal we truly were.

I was denied the opportunity to sign up for an academic scholarship that could've possibly gotten me in to my dream school (Texas A&M). I was told that the scholarship was for Asian Americans only -- a lie perpetuated by the school councilor Mrs. Ochi. The scholarship was open to minority students who were pursuing an engineering degree. Didn't matter which field, but if you were pursuing an engineering degree you were compelled to apply.

Mrs. Ochi lied because the number of young women who wanted to pursue an engineering degree out of my high school was a fat goose egg. She would rather see me STRUGGLE than to excel better than the women at my school. All with a smile on her face.

I wasn't the best in math, I struggled at times, but my teachers saw that I was relentless when challenged, I was a quiet problem solver, an imaginative one too. I would go on to graduate from a U.C. in the summer of '07 with a degree in Computer Engineering and a minor in Expository writing.

With the exception of my science, and language arts (Spanish and Japanese) teachers -- all female -- my biggest critics were the other female teachers who routinely pitted myself, and a few other young men against their top students when comparing grades. Typically we did better in foreign language, science, debate, and English; while breaking even in math. Language, science, and English I outclassed the women hands down.

I'll never forget how I felt when I was expected to receive a low mark on the AP U.S. History exam, I got a 4 instead of the 2 that was projected. I'll never forget when in one of our high school debates I won the argument hands down, but it was ruled a draw to give my opponent -- a young woman -- a fair advantage after she had no rebuttal for three responses.

I ended up here after seeing blatant bias in my school's disciplinary measures when it came to punishments. I experienced first-hand uncharacteristic sexism when I voted for another girl who ran for student president, instead of the charming bitch who had snubbed me freshman year of highschool.

I'm here because of the biasness perpetuated by the University of California who chose to protect a woman who made false claims of rape but will demonize the innocent male despite the evidence that pointed to the contrary. I'm here because the female student who fucked two teachers for grades, passed her classes without attending group projects which was a MAJOR part of our grade.

I'm here because of Ms. J. Kagan a great woman who went against the narrative of what feminism really was, and exposed the double standards that feminist organizations like Women NOW actively promote. I'm here for the men who need to come out of the dark, and see the truth for what it is. Feminism is a lie, that has wormed it's way into mainstream culture to make the men of today accountable and financially expendable for the women of tomorrow.

zoxzoxzo · 2022-10-04T22:38:36+00:00

I considered myself a feminist for a bit, some time ago. However it was about getting equal opportunity, not getting equal outcome. Modern radical feminism in the west went so far from what the true feminism was when it first started. And I strongly believe that west doesn't even need feminism anymore because western woman can do everything a man can, and on top of that she even has a lot more more privileges. This new movement wrongly labeled as "feminism" was designed just to destroy the concept of masculinity and what it means to be a man.

Larkeiden · 2022-10-04T22:53:41+00:00

I am a feminist, i believe in treating everyone equal wether they are a men, women, gay, black, etc..

But I don't totally support the current wave of feminism or of wokes.

Langland88 · 2022-10-04T22:56:51+00:00

I guess I was between my high school years from 2003-2007 to about 4 years ago in 2018. I decided to take the advice from some of my college professors to listen to opposites of my beliefs and so I did. During the Donald Trump years here in the US, I was another yes man the left wing and believed in everything they stood for unconditionally until finally it was a women pointed out to me that as a man, I was suffering and didn't realize it. She pointed out things I was struggling with and pointed out how Feminists were actually painting a target on my head.

Because I was a straight while cisgendered male, I started to realize it was becoming more of a blanket statement to blame all the problems on. It was a strawman argument for sure. I started to realize that the people I was calling my friends were secretly hating me and even they themselves weren't realizing it up until now. In fact many of those friends aren't friends anymore. I have had a huge falling out for having political opinions that were more left of center than being full blown left wing.

Also once I left that social circle, I have been able to be more sane. On facebook, I used to only see memes from one radical feminist and it was memes that slowly started to say that men were trash or that men are the enemy. I blocked her and started blocking all Feminists and even some left wing pages on Facebook. I also found a woman outside of that social circle and needless to say, I am happy with her. She too isn't a Feminist and has many issues with the movement. Thanks to that, I have been much happier. Now that I also recently graduated college, I am finally free from the stupid Feminist propaganda that was being taught in the social science classes.

Anyways that's kind of where I am at today.

thiccsupreme · 2022-10-05T02:07:10+00:00

never. at least not third wave. i always believed in equality. nowadays, it’s the suppression of men.

Digitaldreamer7 · 2022-10-05T02:19:49+00:00

Never. It was a non-issue until the identity politics train started steamrolling men. That's when I started paying attention to all this shit. I practice "treat others with respect until they give you a reason not to" regardless of gender, skin color, or who they choose to bang.

Now, because of the shit storm all of this causes, I just avoid anyone who deals in identity politics completely. I don't make friends with them, I don't hire them, I don't make small talk with them, etc. regardless of gender, skin color, or who they choose to bang. I don't have the bandwidth.

TheeBattleMedic · 2022-10-05T03:02:53+00:00

I grew up in early 2000s hearing the future is female and women can do anything better than a man. Grew up thinking women could be just as strong if they really trained (never really say an example but just believed) heard all the men bad stories, women are scared and men are the reason. And at 10 hearing women are the future I thought??? What about me. In high school and a little after I thought I’m a feminist cause I support women. But when I hit 20 I was starting to not support it as much from all the male bashing. Eventually around 2015-2016 I started to find some mra related things like Roma army, aba and preach and more.

Started to realized that I wasn’t the only guy thinking that things aren’t just easy or simple for men. Men struggle and suffer. I always got annoyed when friends would say toxic masculinity is why men don’t talks about their feelings. And I told people it’s BS I told them I was severely abused by my mom, I was basically her punching bag, she made my skull bleed at one point, I was mute from how bad things were. And I wouldn’t talk about it much cause people would side with her saying she’s probably stressed or they just didn’t care. And it was mainly women that I told. They at max pretended to care but didn’t want to hear a man talk about what they dealt with. So men grow up realizing that talking about your feelings doesn’t help, it usually scares people away. Or makes them worry for themselves or that your a threat for enduring things.

I even had someone say my dad probably abused her which lead her to abuse me. It disgusted me someone trying to blame someone else other than the abuser. My dad seeing him on weekends was the only health bond I had. If it wasn’t for him showing me what it meant to be a man, strong, determined, focused, calm. I probably would have deleted myself if he wasn’t in my life. Or worse could have decided to hurt others. But I was able to gain discipline from martial arts and boxing. I also told myself when I had a razor to my wrist that my dad has a good life. I’ll have a good life and won’t have to see her again. Now I have a great fiancée, I forgave my mother for years but she’s pretty bad and I’m tired of people making excuses for her. At this point I wouldn’t care if I didn’t see her again. I can only forgive someone that tries to better themselves.

Overall I’m tired of men being viewed as bad, as Patrice o Neal said I hate living in a world where everything a man does is bad and everything a woman does is amazing. I’ll never say men are all good, yes some men are bad, some do disgusting horrible things, many do things I don’t agree with. But I don’t think that’s all men or even most men. I don’t hate women, I think hating women is just as bad as hating men. I just think it’s more normalized and “funny” to hate on men.

I think it’s unfair that shitting on men is okay but criticizing anything about women immediately makes you a incel or misogynist. Even racist for having a different opinion. main example for that is when people say they can’t support immigrants and that’s deemed racist but when nyc, Chicago and Martha’s said we can’t support a small amount of immigrants it wasn’t deemed racist. It’s easy to say I support something but not when they come to my city. Also I’m Honduran I think beyond personal when it comes to these things. Overall tired of the BS we’re constantly feed.

ElisaSKy · 2022-10-05T03:57:51+00:00

My story isn't that complex.

I've always seen the message of how evil men were. They rape and beat women up and women just wouldn't do that.

Was lowkey hoping for Birkenau 2.0 within my lifetime. I'd have made a kick ass Kamerad Politzei too.

Got raped by a female classmate.

Looked for answers.

Found that actually, yeah, women did all that stuff in comparable numbers.

Talked about it.

"You've been listening to these crazy MRAs haven't you?"

Well actually I haven't, but thanks, you anonymous lunatic for directing me exactly to where I needed to go and just didn't know it.

Anxiety_Loop · 2022-10-05T04:47:58+00:00

Can't answer that question until women establish a concensus on

A: What is a Feminist

and B: Where is the Goal line, meaning at what point is victory achieved. Because it won't be through equity or equality of outcome.

Alekyle07 · 2022-10-05T05:21:41+00:00

Growing up I always just assumed that I was a feminist. I was raised by a single mom, I have two younger sisters, and I didn't have any type of male influence. The question was you either care about women's rights or you don't, you care about equality or you don't, it was pretty simple. Also I'm gay, so because of that I identified as pretty liberal. It was like conservatives and women haters were wanted to take away our rights. And I wasn't a political guy, you know I just kinda took the word of the left. I was gay and in my early twenties and I enjoyed having fun and the left and the feminist I knew were very supportive of me. I was actually red pilled in early 2015 because of Kaley Cuoco from the Big Bang Theory. I liked her, I enjoyed her character on the show and so I guess that's why she was in my news feed. But she did an interview where she was asked if she was a feminist and she said no. She explained why she wasn't one, she liked cooking and catering to her husband, she always had equal pay, and pretty much she was happy in her life. The feminist community trashed her. They sent her nasty comments, criticized her, called her ignorant and uneducated, so much so that she issued an apology. She took back her answer and was forced to explain herself. After that I was a little salty, I felt she had been bullied by feminist and that her apology was completely unnecessary. I had been under the impression that feminism was about all women making their own decisions, that it was about them saying and doing what they want. After doing my homework and finding out what feminism actually is I realized that a lot of what they stand for is not something I want to be apart of. Today I am still for equality but am no longer a feminist.

nambivpn · 2022-10-05T05:58:44+00:00

When I was in college, from 2014-2018. After that metoo movement came on and I blindly supported it. Only after 2020 did I realise that men also face many problems and these problems will never be addressed by feminists despite them proclaiming that feminism is for men too. That was when I decided I would rather fight for equal rights than subscribe to an ideology that calls my gender disgusting things.

stompin77 · 2022-10-05T11:10:32+00:00

Nope. Not at all. Never. Cringe when I hear the word feminist. Never in the history of mankind has there been such a toxic bunch of masculinity than feminism.

HonestSetting1105 · 2022-10-04T16:34:41+00:00

I was a male feminist all my childhood and I got brainwashed. When I as 11 I watched a YouTube video of a school student debunking feminism. I then decided I wasn’t a feminist but I wasn’t a mens rights activist either it was only last year when I found dr Shyam and Roma mens army

Black-Patrick · 2022-10-04T17:10:15+00:00

I am for equal opportunity, and against equal outcome, or equity. I think the system built by the so-called patriarchy is founded on competency not arbitrary power. I believe at its core the ideology opposed by this sub called feminism is a divide and conquer technique that relies on the banality of sociological thinking, and that the concept of the sovereign individual is under assault by a dissociative hive minded tribalism. To properly oppose this movement I believe we as men must avoid reverting to the same generalization tactics employed by the far left.

toph88241 · 2022-10-04T17:23:28+00:00

By the definition of feminist = True Equality, I am a feminist.

Female supremacists and anti-men are the one's that aren't feminists by definition.

maciarc · 2022-10-04T19:34:12+00:00

I consider myself a feminist to this day. I believe women should have equal rights and responsibilities as men. It's the female supremacists that are the problem.

sparkydoggowastaken · 2022-10-04T16:52:12+00:00

i still consider myself a feminist by the dictionary definition. i dont count myself as part of either organization because there are crazy people on both sides of the spectum i dont want to be associated with

Wilddog73 · 2022-10-04T18:42:48+00:00

Is it okay if I come in here with why I wasn't?

Azihayya · 2022-10-04T19:15:23+00:00

I sympathize with feminism, but I'm not comfortable with identifying as a feminist. Feminism is a vanguard for women's rights, and that's okay--and it's my hope that men's rights can be a vanguard for men's rights, without the need to be explicitly anti-feminist. I wager I would have much more success advocating for men's needs coming from a place of sympathizing with the feminist cause.

Admirable-Door1724 · 2022-10-04T19:26:45+00:00

When I was a bit younger, then I started realizing all the double sided shit they do. Yeah I’m not being a part of that, then that led to me researching and finding out how much men also suffer. Then all the misandry that’s just out and about hit me. Wow I thought, how is it allowed for it to be so much in general public and blatant to be misandrinistic (is that how you say it?). So that’s what happened with me. Don’t get me wrong, I still want women to have rights, I just want men to have rights as well. Any time I see it I try to speak out about if someone’s being mysogynistic or making misandric jokes.

CorneredSponge · 2022-10-04T19:56:17+00:00

Still consider myself that in the equality sense of the word rather than affirmative action and whatnot.

SadGruffman · 2022-10-04T20:16:31+00:00

I despise the use of titles to define one’s self in reference to activism. You are not a feminist for your beliefs. You’re a feminist if you are an active member of the community advocating for social change. Reddit posts are not activism.

I consider myself pretty secure in my belief system, that all people deserve respect and a degree of latitude based off how I personally interact with them. I’ve met dillholes and jerkoffs of all kinds. I’ve also found people who care most deeply for their community that have every right to be angry.

Feminism is completely valid. So is mens rights activism.

More than just one group needs help and I absolutely despite this subs need one-up the other. Like fuck people. If society is a living organism and we build a split to treat a broken arm, we don’t shout down at our broken leg because it doesn’t have a splint yet.

SuspiciousGrievances · 2022-10-04T20:16:37+00:00

Never not once. Not because I'm not for equality. But because everyone who said they were one, was absolutely insufferable to be around.

TheManlySebby · 2022-10-04T20:21:28+00:00

I used to before it turned into what it is today, now I'm more of an egalitarian instead lol

Throwawaydhxj · 2022-10-04T20:29:34+00:00

Im from eastern Europe. Feminism is a joke in todays standards. Woman have the same opportunity if they provide same worth to society. Some say they have even better opportunity then men.

NutsLikeMelons · 2022-10-04T21:19:09+00:00

I fully supported feminism as a younger man when it was about equality. I’m mixed race so any form of discrimination gets my back up. I stopped supporting feminism when it turned into positive discrimination. Now modern feminism is something I would happily set fire to. I didn’t change my attitude to equality, the world moved and I responded. Women have changed me from being willing to risk my neck to help them if they were in danger into one of those people on the subway who don’t intervene. Why should I? You have no respect for me and regard me as sub human. Sort your own shit out.

Cbd_7ohm · 2022-10-04T21:27:31+00:00

I've never considered myself a feminist and have never believed their rhetoric from 3rd/4th wave feminism, but I am for equal rights, and I always have been.

Frankx888 · 2022-10-04T21:37:12+00:00

awakening 😂😂

supershotmd · 2022-10-04T21:42:20+00:00

I took an intro to gender studies course in college because it was known to be a guaranteed 'A' and it satisfied one of the college of arts & science's general requirements.

If someone asked me then, I would've said I was a feminist. Sure. Women must have it really bad out in the real world.

Fast forward several years of life experience, and I realize what a joke it was. Individual people have advantages and disadvantages. Not an entire half of the world.

Itchy-Rough-551 · 2022-10-04T22:04:39+00:00

I grew up indoctrinated by feminists and society at large. When I became politically aware and old enough to have dated enough women and seen how men are treated by the system and by society in general is when I consciously became antifeminist and started critically considering all I had been indoctrinated with. Like for instance last night my incel boss said something about respecting woman when teasing him about getting some. I thought weird when you hate someone based on race or gender it's called bigotry. Should the same standard apply to respecting people? If you judge someone based on their gender or race whether positively or negatively how is that not sexism or racism? It's still judging based on a demograhical criteria and not on content of character. This is but one small example of how we've all been conditioned since birth by a concerted indoctrination campaign by a global trillion dollar lobby.

Basketballjuice · 2022-10-04T22:09:19+00:00

I consider myself a feminist by the literal definition, but I understand it when people don't.

_BlueShark87 · 2022-10-04T22:23:18+00:00

I was never a feminist as I like to take an in depth look at things before trying them.

Mellowker · 2022-10-04T22:57:25+00:00

I used to consider myself a feminist since I was probably 8 or 9 and the indoctrination started up untill I realized the shit I experienced was not only my problem, but also every other guys'. Basically when my great French teacher taught me how to think for myself, so t'ill my 14th b day give or take a year. I was conflicted a lot for 1 to 2 years, rn I consider myself a humanitarian.

_BeefJerk · 2022-10-04T23:16:58+00:00

I was a feminist as a youth, back when I thought it meant women could vote and own property.

2HourCoffeeBreak · 2022-10-04T23:22:46+00:00

I don’t think I’ve ever considered myself a feminist. I just always felt we should all be equal and that’s it. I never thought to root for one side or the other so to speak.

Thebiglloydtree · 2022-10-04T23:43:08+00:00

Honestly never. Took sociology as a 16 year old and heard the accurate description of egalitarianism and it stuck with me, cause it fit me more accurately.

Anih1list · 2022-10-04T23:43:18+00:00

Usually I call myself a gender abolitionist. When I'm talking to feminists I code switch to make my viewpoints more optically digestible. I do technically fit the "classic" definition of feminism (gender equality). I might also reference feminism when I'm criticizing repressive theocracy.

Of course, the term is pretty toxic these days since feminism can mean anything from pro-equality to female supremacist, pro-sexual liberation or pro-censorship/desexualization. Whatever is rhetorically effective, I go with that.

Terrible_Departure90 · 2022-10-04T23:47:35+00:00

I can safely say I was fine with feminist rhetoric but never self identified as a feminist up until college. I gradually broke down feminism and figured out it was bs

SanjaySting · 2022-10-04T23:54:15+00:00

Yes before I understood what it really was lmao I use to think it was just the obvious “seeing women as people”

AcidKritana · 2022-10-05T00:04:18+00:00

I never once did.

SweetAccomplished542 · 2022-10-05T00:40:05+00:00

Yeah. I was young and I didn’t know how the real world worked.

Huffers1010 · 2022-10-05T00:52:17+00:00

It just becomes a semantic argument about what "feminist" means.

Lots of people will claim that feminism is simply about equality of opportunity, and in that case, I'm a feminist, as are the overwhelming majority of people.

Personally, I think way too many things have been done under the banner of feminism, using feminism as a justification, which are not consistent with equality of opportunity, and as such I would not generally refer to myself as a feminist. Similarly, too many questionable things have been done by people referring to themselves as men's rights activists for me to describe myself as a men's rights activist.

The question really is why we need a term like feminism at all. If you believe in fair treatment and equality of opportunity for everyone, then you're well on your way to being an egalitarian.

I think it's increasingly reasonable for people to be suspicious of anyone self-identifying as a feminist on the basis that anyone who's interested only in fairness could just as effectively self-describe as an egalitarian.

The only reason anyone would need the term feminism is if that person associated their beliefs specifically with some unique aspect of women, which is not consistent with the claim that feminism is for everyone. If it's for everyone, it's egalitarianism. If it isn't egalitarianism... why?

bbs540 · 2022-10-05T01:04:00+00:00

I used to, when I was brainwashed and had no idea what feminism was, only the definition of “equality for both genders”

MiKEY_SANZ · 2022-10-05T01:10:26+00:00

I considered myself a feminist ally when I was younger and didn’t know any better. Idk if I would’ve called myself a feminist tho. I voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016 LOL

EvidencePlz · 2022-10-05T01:25:23+00:00

No. I love and hate all men and women equally.

MrPlaysWithSquirrels · 2022-10-05T01:32:04+00:00

I consider myself to be both a feminist and a Men’s Rights Activist, currently.

ponegum · 2022-10-05T03:27:01+00:00

I used to consider myself a feminist in the sense that I believed we should have the same rights and the same obligations. We should be paid on average the same with the same standard deviation for the same job. I have not changed my mind. I just realized that feminists do not identify with that. They identify with female supremacy, always pushing the goalpost forward, always playing victims, manipulating numbers to serve their agenda, wanting equal representation only in higher paying jobs without the will to do what it takes to get there. Basically, entitled little whiners.

NulliusAllvater · 2022-10-05T04:13:56+00:00

When I was young like most boys I was blue pilled hard I would question the logic but only get hit or screamed at

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-10-05T04:15:35+00:00

I want women to enjoy the same freedoms men do. Such as safety and financial independence.

But i think that men and women are biological different and cannot be equal. Women are better mothers, Men are better fathers. Men are better bread winners, women are better home makers. On Average

Each gender just has their innate advantages and disadvantages. Ignoring them and pretending we behave exactly the same is wishful thinking.

RedditIsProMisandry · 2022-10-05T04:30:25+00:00

I was feminist until I realized they attack and demonize anybody that doesn’t gag on their metaphorical cocks or when you bring up misandry or mens rights.

Angryasfk · 2022-10-05T05:15:54+00:00

Never. Feminism always was how bad men were from where I stood, and how easy we supposedly had it. This never gelled with what I saw in my life.

Flynhigh30 · 2022-10-05T05:40:38+00:00

Never considered myself a feminist because I believe if anyone wants true equality, for every individual regardless of sex, then they should be a humanist.

Definition of humanist: noun a person having a strong interest in or concern for human welfare, values, and dignity.

Feminism is obviously female centric, it's in the fucking name.

thesilentkill93 · 2022-10-05T05:42:58+00:00

I did. Until they started female mind games on me expecting me to uphold their hypocrisy

Pilgrim3 · 2022-10-05T06:23:28+00:00

Sympathetic to the aims perhaps but not to the radicals involved in the 70’s on who considered that to be a feminist one must loath all men.

pyrolover6666 · 2022-10-05T06:26:05+00:00

Never. My first experience with feminist was openly sexist feminist clips on YouTube. So I learned quick that feminism didn't believe in equality

kirewes · 2022-10-05T07:06:55+00:00

You have to clarify the definition of feminism. If we go by the Merriam-Webster dictionary "belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests" then I would have to say I currently am one in my opinion. But there are many people who use personal definitions for feminism. That's why when people say they're a feminist I have to ask them to define what they mean. It's too broad of a spectrum to get the gist of their belief.

Shaundorian · 2022-10-05T07:15:16+00:00

I've never considered myself a feminist, however when it comes to Womens rights, I'm probably just as passionate as I am for Mens rights.

I try to look at a more equal picture fighting for both sides where its needed. Since I also want equal rights for my family and fiancé regardless of gender.

user-and-abuser · 2022-10-05T08:36:53+00:00

In Jr high. Called myself a female lesbian. I was way ahead of the trend. Quit that nonsense in HS.

Namedoesntmatter89 · 2022-10-05T09:10:18+00:00

First, i dont know what "our position" is.

When i was in the first couple years of college, i considered myself somewhat of a feminist. I didnt really care much about it though. I cared more about freedom, equality, education, and honestly, i was kind of obsessed with sciences in general. I grew up jehovah's witness, and strongly hated their use of the word "truth", but strongly cared about seeking truth myself.

I had a really positive relationship with a korean chick when i was like 19, but i got cancer, pretty much lost everything positive in my life. I think it really helped me that i had that experience before getting sick, as the next 10 years of my life were really hard. i ended up doing a nursing degree. Surrounded by women, honestly, it was hell. I dont mind hanging with some women, but so many nurses are just cranky miserable people. Plus i was already worn down from being sick.

Before my nursing program started, i took what was basically a class on "Gender and Sex Differences" at UBC. In all fairness, i have to say, the teacher was incredibly grounded and didnt push bullshit at all. She was actually incredibly fair and very open to diverse view points, including male points of view. The issue imo was that the class was 80:20 women and in retrospect, its easy to say that women and men have similar lives when we both get to go to a rich college school (i had student loans, i wasnt rich but still).

Anyways, i really liked that class. I read the entire textbook cover to cover. Interestingly, the textbook included many stats about men i.e. suicide rate being 3x, references to a masculine expressed depression, and many other realities that men face. What horrified me though was how the women around me ignored this. They just didnt care, but treated the information about women as like "Oh my god!". So it was a bit shocking to say the least. The teacher was a gem though. I feel she honestly cared about everyone. And i wish more "feminists" were like her because some feminists honestly are great. It's just that when they really just care about women and actively hate men, it's pretty discouraging.

My dad was also a commercial fisherman and my stepdad a drywaller, so I grew up blue collar, and i lived white collar. I also had a lot of exposure/influence from asian (mostly korean and filipino), brazillian, and latino people.

Then i married a rich white girl and she left me for a roid monkey. lmao

Now, happy with a baby girl with my current partner who is filipina. After dating some white girls and girls from elsewhere, i think white people in north america have an insane dating culture and that we should be more traditional in our dating practices, but good luck with that considering the current crop of weirdos we have to live with

All i can say is, i much prefer traditional gender roles in relationships in many ways. I believe men should make sacrifices to protect society. But it should be voluntary. We should want to do those things b/c we benefit from the prestige and status of being hardworking caretakers and providers of making this society actually work. And we should be proud of that. But in society's current form, this just aint the truth b/c men in general are largely ignored and disrespected, so i really dont blame men of today for not wanting to do those things.

I also believe men should not have to raise kids that arent theirs and I also believe that it should be criminal to knowingly deceive a man about the paternity of their supposed child. Men should also be able to leave no strings attached if they later find out a children is not theirs and the woman should even owe that man for the deception and contributions that man made to that child, at least on a financial level (imo). After what i went thru w/ my white girl ex, watching her flip on a dime on me (well it felt like it, she was monkey branching for a while) it was terrifying to realize how easily she could have screwed me over once she decided i meant nothing to her anymore, all the while being willing to absolutely lie about it.

I also believe that women should be able to have abortion, but that men should have the right to leave if they dont want the baby. However, once paternity is established, and the man makes the initial choice to stay, i do feel the law should be extremely hard on the father if he checks out on that child.

_Remember_me_not_ · 2022-10-05T09:11:02+00:00

At this point, I am the true feminist. I want equality for all human beings and do not want free passes, biased rights and laws. I seek equal responsibilities and liabilities irrespective of the gender which currently isn't the norm.

Icantremember017 · 2022-10-05T09:49:00+00:00

Feminism today is not about equal rights, its about special rights for women and attacking any men who question it. I understand at one point in time women were mistreated and oppressed but that hasn't been the case in my lifetime. Almost all of my bosses in my accounting career were female, and I was always a minority. Being treated differently because of my gender was something I had to accept, if I said anything about it nothing ever got done. Unfortunately I think things are only going to get worse, I feel sorry for my 2 sons.

DarthDragon117 · 2022-10-05T10:15:53+00:00

Before I knew what egalitarianism was and that feminism has different “waves”. Rights are great, privileges not so much.

dekadoka · 2022-10-05T10:41:30+00:00

I started out strongly feminist and didn't even know MRA was a thing. I noticed misandrist women in real life who were seeking and gaining power, and the experience of having to work for one was enough to make me question the narrative.

SvenAERTS · 2022-10-05T10:46:59+00:00

Feminism is inclusive if not it is not feminism, just as #MensRights. There is nothing wrong with making dedicated groups eg to research a particular topic and bring people together who share a passion for that topic at a certain period of their life, or to accelerate a subgroup to get through some stage in their lives: eg they want to quickly - efficiently come up to speed on a topic, learn facts, numbers ... and when they are satisfied will move on again and others will take over. Example: women refugees coming out of macho pathocratic (sick) societies ran by make male 1%-ers = 1% of humanity with an antisocial personality disorder = neurological disorder due to a handicapped not fully developed inner brain (think: striatum, hippocampus, prefrontal cortex) leading to antisocial personality disorder, often portrayed with 4 axis that flair up: narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism, sadism. For such women, it can be very beneficial to get into a combination with classes where they can learn about normal democracies, universal rights, exchange experiences how men here do NOT hit women, treat them respectfully, etc. exchange positive experiences from women to women. Next to coming into contact with normal men in mixed groups and experience that they can indeed speak their mind, do whatever they like, work on a common project with both men and women and the only condition that brings the team together is whether the matter passionates you or not.

SvenAERTS · 2022-10-05T10:59:43+00:00

The 1%-ers mess up the debate.
Do you know the "1%-ers"? That's referring to the 1% of humanity with a handicapped brain, mostly the inner brain dealing with judgement, social schema building - the hippocampus, striatum, prefrontal cortex (the last part that developes - takes often all up to the age of 28 to fully develop). That 1% of humanity have an antisocial personality disorder, heuristically often presented as having 4 axis that can flair up: narcissism axis, psychopaty, Machiavellianism, sadism. They see the world more like: useful, not useful. You have a car and can bring me = you are useful. They learn that the 99% of use abide / live by some "social construct, schema, glass walls - floors and ceilings of what is proper behavior", but they find that weakness. Their reasoning is: yeah, but who's the most important in your life? Yourself - me and I. So, if I feel bored, that's not a happy feeling, so I have to solve that. Here's an animal, let me kick it and - you never know how they will react - that's funny and that solves my unpleasant feeling of being bored. Oh, there is no animal, but - hey - here's a women: let me provoke a reaction. Well, that was not a nice reaction, let me teach her something (=Machiavellianism because I know how the world works and whats wrong with her behavior) and I will sacrifice myself - invest my private time to correct that women (narcissism), and what the fuck - now she's even resisting. Soit - at some point some get into - I just remember I like seks, and then in their sick brain they come to a reasoning where they are allowed to have seks: yeah, ok, I understand you, I'm not an animal, I will just come once and then we split and never see each other again = sadism: being able to get an erection when someone is afraid to die, weeping, in pain, wants to get out, needs help, ... the normal reaction of the 99% of us is to help people even animals that need help.

If you notice such behavior: dividing people, preparing a trap and gradually luring people deeper and deeper in it, and anything goes with 1%-ers: smiling one moment, guilt shaming then next, flattery, talking bad about you, imposing, talking loud, pseudo intellectualism: study 1 topic obsessively - sounds impressive at first, but when you write down their arguements you notice it's not more than 5 and they always come back and are disconnected from other scientific insights, if caught they try to discard you or move somewhere else, they burn a lot of relationshsips because they area don't care using lying, cheating, sticking a knife in the back of people when they are deemed not useful anymore - they look at the world as usefull - not usefull, quantity is more important that quality - they are the best anyway, and we should all recognize that and be grateful the sacrifice the 1-er make to lead us, they loose temper very quickly and react very loud and violently, wouldn't hesitate to eliminate people - even people that were very loyal - if they're not useful anymore and don't shut up, they are not useful, so get rid of them.
If you notice such behavior: you have to do with a 1%-er at work. That's pretending to be a feminist. When in fact they just prepare a trap: dividing, lure women / people in, guilt-shame and bully them into investing loads of time and money and resources so they get even more isolated and further into the trap so it always becomes harder to get out back into sanity. It's just a "destructive cult/sekt": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cult#Destructive_cults

SvenAERTS · 2022-10-05T11:06:30+00:00

There are some insights not many people know about that can help in the debates to making a nicer society.

You don't have to make things harder than they are: there's just 5% too FEW women born.

Imagine there were 5% too MANY women - or have you ever been in a club like horseback riding, dancing - as a young adolescent when nobody knows about #woke yet and girls love their dads. Did you experience a different - kinder behavior, girls coming after you, fighting to get your attention, what tactics they used?

Sex Ratio difference at birth: it is 5% harder for nature to give birth to bring female fetuses to life. That's significant. In a population of 10 million, in eg the layer of 20-25 years, there's about 380.000 young adult women and 390.000 young adult males. There's about 10.000 too few girls because they simply have not been born. So, there's 10.000 guys who will never find a girlfriend/wife. Check it out for yourselves/for your country in your national population statistics, if not https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human\_sex\_ratio#Natural\_ratio\_at\_birth
Overall sex ratio: yes, women live longer etc. - so you have to wait till the age of 65 to get to an equilibrium. and the fact that women live longer masks that sex ration difference at birth and shortage of women.
Add to that, that in many cultures, people are near to obsessed in having a boy baby and they kill female foetuses - babies - don't care as much if they get sick and instead of bringing them to a hospital prefer to save the money and let these girls die ... yeah, then forget about the 5% shortage of women at the age humans typically form couples - at young adult age - then it's not a shortage of 5% in their age group, but 10-15%. Same wikipedia article, search for "Missing women" and you get a whole list of ways to murder female foetuses, girls, let them "accidentally die", etc.

5% too many men in your age range, what impact do you think that has? Can it explain how society is?

Kulovicz1 · 2022-10-05T12:35:59+00:00

I never did. Probably because of family where usually men are more reserved and women more outspoken. When I first heard of feminism I was thinking that it's pointless. I never encountered inequality in my family.

Now I kinda understand what is the general thought behind it and still find it pointless or sometimes outright malicious in developed world. Like, inequality is already seen as something that's wrong, why do you have to keep pushing it here when there are places like Saudi Arabia.

SvenAERTS · 2022-10-05T12:47:11+00:00

How long is that list of "destructive feminism" arguments? It's more than 6, but even if it is more than 35 arguments, that's not a limitless list of arguments.
Why would it be impossible to list them and find the best - shortest answer with links to the facts?
There's list about just anything on the wikipedia. To kick off: I just added this to the wikipedia talk page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Men%27s\_rights\_movement#%22destructive\_feminism%22\_-\_kick\_off\_chapter

ChadWolf98 · 2022-10-05T14:11:42+00:00

Luckily I was into politics before I was swayed by mainstream media, before that I did not care about politics at all.

I agree with stuff like equal rights and find it scummy when a specific jobs pays less to women but I utterly deny that there is systemic woman hatred or patriarchy.

K1ngcrabbo10th · 2022-10-05T16:52:23+00:00

If feminism was equality for everyone then I would claim I was a feminist but I see how it no longer a fight for equality but a fight to demonize men for no reason.

Would I be a equalist then?

Randomfactsguy77 · 2022-10-06T02:31:01+00:00

Never. I have always been an egalitarian. I saw what feminism was about early on. Especially among the atheist community and the atheism plus debacle. That was where I first started seeing the whole woke thing crop up

PositivelyForsaken · 2022-10-04T17:44:32+00:00

Yes, in my early twenties, when I didn’t know any better. I was inexperienced in the world and still idealistic. Then I entered the workforce and started engaging people and began absorbing and learning how and why people do what they do (think, act, react). It didn’t seem to me that women were oppressed or that men were there to exploit them.

One of several experiences really opened my eyes regarding women’s treatment of men. I had applied to be a legal researcher for a women’s legal clinic in the SF Bay Area (San Rafael). All was going well until the director took extended family leave. Suddenly, I was yanked off my typical research and writing projects and given orders to do simple data entry and filing. My skills were being wasted on nonsense. Additionally, I became the guy who ordered and retrieved lunch, set up conference rooms, and yes, vacuumed. NONE of this was in my employment contract.

When I bitterly complained to the attorney in charge, I was told that my work performance was lacking and I was not a team player. Things went downhill fast as they demanded I also take over the receptionist desk since she was going on family leave too.

It was finally obvious that while the director (also a woman) wasn’t the discriminatory type, her attorneys and other research assistants didn’t want me there because of my gender. My research/writing role was eliminated in the following months and I was told if I wanted to remain I’d have to be their receptionist. I left without protest, no notice given.

The thing is, I wanted to be there. I genuinely believed that affordable legal services was a good thing for lower income women seeking legal protection. I wanted to be part of something that helped them. Instead, I was pushed out.

Qantourisc · 2022-10-04T15:17:28+00:00

Egalitarian here, so depends on your definition of feminist.

Double-Ad-8397 · 2022-10-05T05:23:19+00:00

For me I really always tried to be a feminist and always thought I was until after a lot of therapy I realized that I was not. I can only speak from experience but I think a lot of men really struggle with it. I know I did, but now I'd like to think that I'm a true feminist, in that I not only support female advancement, but realize that men as a group have a lot to answer for.

McSmarfy · 2022-10-04T19:00:09+00:00

Never. I was almost a teen when I got my first whiff of feminism from a cousin and I saw it for what it is. It's hard to see how any adult could see feminism and want anything to do with it unless they support Marxism and want The West to fall.

tsawsum1 · 2022-10-04T18:31:32+00:00

I am still a feminist actually. Lots of what we see on the media today is extremist on both sides. Feminism is about equality and dismantling the patriarchal systems (like not enough paternity leave, mens mental health neglect, etc) that hurt men and women alike. I don’t let the movement be defined by radicals, because I know myself and my reasonable feminist will continue in peaceful advocation for true equality.

DoctorStorm · 2022-10-04T18:58:37+00:00

I'm a huge feminist in real life. As in, funding scholarships for girls and being fully behind Girls Who Code when it comes to teaching level of feminist.

I suppose that's why I find the time I spend here so awkward and hilarious. It's a good reminder that

men suffer silently all the fucking time,
feminists in real life aren't nearly as bad as the ones hiding here behind anonymity, and
feminists in real life who are bat shit crazy really are all around you, they're just checked by things such as, oh, I don't know, off the top of my head, laws.

compellinglymediocre · 2022-10-05T09:11:29+00:00

when it comes to womens safety on nights out. having a predominantly female family and a girlfriend, you truly shit yourself everytime they go out. and it’s fucked up, i imagine how scared i am, and then imagine how much more scared women have to be.

bubbybyrd · 2022-10-04T21:42:10+00:00

Why hate on feminists when most of them want good things to happen to men too. They make more sense to me than the "activist's" on this subreddit who just want to scream and argue all day.

The_Namez_B · 2022-10-04T23:43:24+00:00

Well I’ve never been nor considered myself a feminist. Even got into long discussions with my sisters over that as I’ve always believed in true equality for the sexes but wouldn’t be a feminist.

The first and second waves had good stuff in it, and achieved some good things. But I just can’t get behind it. Especially with how it tends to be nowadays.

Other then them, I haven’t had too many interactions with feminists or the movement as a whole.

Anyways, I guess that’s all lol

Koja510 · 2022-10-05T00:17:55+00:00

Yes I do. I stand with women especially as roe vs wade comes under fire. I think women have real issues that need addressing and I want to listen. I want to help. I stand with POC and LGTBQ+ people as well. I think that the discussions on sex and race, in order to be advanced, requires mens perspectives as well, especially the problems and discriminations that we face. Men face unique challenges that women do not and this discussion is severely lacking in modern day. I want society to be more just and more fair for everyone and that means listening to men and women and doing what we can to find our blind spots and prejudices. We can’t truly fix womens issues without looking at mens issues and vice versa.

Ironically this is probably the post that will get me banned from feminist spaces on Reddit. Which illustrates exactly why I’m here.

Ftpiercecracker1 · 2022-10-05T05:17:12+00:00

First can you define what feminism means to you? So I/we know what look for in our own lives?

gre2704 · 2022-10-05T23:01:14+00:00

Growing up with a feminist mother I was fed all of the worldview and of course I swallowed it all. But as I grew older the world looked less and less like the picture my mom and the media painted. But still I clung to what I knew until the day, an MRA group wanted to hold a conference in my town. As programmed I thought what pathetic losers they are yadayadayada the whole nine yards. But then the venue got threatened so the MRAs got their event cancelled and searched and found another venue. That got threatened as well but the owners didn't cave, so the place got trashed by a mob of feminists.

At that moment the gears in my head shifted into the next gear. If they are so wrong and pathetic whiners, surely nobody would listend so why the violence? Plus my parents always taught me that if you have to use violence to silence somebody, you are in the wrong. Always!

So by that logic: feminists were wrong. That made me look at the world differently for the first time and I found bits and peaces of "red pill" information but I was never really able to form a coherent picture out of those fragments. Then puberty kicked into high gear, my hormones started thinking for me and I went full on bluepill simp for the next 10 years which pretty much turned me into an Incel. In the wayning years of that period I started to slowly reconnect to the more real picture of the world and a more manly attitude and finally got a girlfriend.

As things go, the relationship turned sour once I started simping again and the last month or two she started gaslighting me.

After the breakup I found a Youtube video by a Redpill content creator about gaslighting by pure chance and that was when everything life had tought me started to fall into place to form a coherent picture.

Title	Question for all you men.
Author	agenericusername9
Upvotes	212
Comments	259
Date	October 4, 2022 1:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/xvfss9/question_for_all_you_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/question-for-all-you-men.1135127 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135127