How do "beta" men date/marry in the first place?

damaskrose · 2019-07-27T19:40:21+00:00

Because betas are husband-material men who women actively seek out for LTR's and marriage. They're not male models, but some have cute faces, some have nice bodies, some are charming. They're not the neckbeards I feel like you're picturing.

trueorfalsedmitry · 2019-07-27T19:58:49+00:00

Beta men reach an age where they have to actively avoid getting married. Single betas after a certain age are like fish in a trout farm, and women make runs at them in earnest.

If you are Joe Schlub, 34-yr-old bachelor with a mid-level management job or maybe a small-time lawyer or dentist, you will have women trying to LTR you left and right.

wtknight · 2019-07-27T19:13:22+00:00

I would assume that they'd just find a good-looking guy to be their sperm donor and then just raise the kid alone?

But that’s only one income to raise her child when the child could be raised with two incomes and have even more of a chance to succeed at life.

diffdedbed · 2019-07-27T19:29:21+00:00

The problem with beta/alpha is the same problem with the oh so popular Meyers Briggs test thats so popular with some users here.

Its talking only about extremes. For example in Meyers Briggs you are either an introvert or an extrovert. I'm a extrovert on that test but a few questions differently I'm an introvert. What if anything that means is I'm somewhere in the normal range.

Almost no one is "pure" alpha, they are in jail or over time get bad reputations, start to lose their looks and just become creepy assholes etc. Almost no one is pure beta either but a mix.

About 3 hours ago I shut my bedroom door (we have kids) where my wife was on her bed using her phone to do nothing and said we're having sex now, get naked. Sooo alpha and /r/ihavesex I know.

Likewise I worked all last week while my wife played SAHM, soooo beta.

I'm not sure where providing and protecting ones family became beta to some guys. I get it where the woman has three kids and settle for a loser with a steady job giving duty sex to so he helps support her kids and herself, but again, thats an extreme.

-TheGreasyPole- · 2019-07-27T19:52:18+00:00

Their wives are attracted enough to the whole package (the alpha and beta traits they have) to marry them. That’s the basic answer.

This may not be enough to stop their wives sleeping with other men who are more sexually attractive (alpha). Nor enough to stop her thinking she could get a better deal elsewhere and switching to that deal if it arises (branch swinging). And, of course, men can very easily drop a lot of sexual attractiveness post-ceremony (betafication) so as to “drop below her minimum line” and so cause her to lose desire to be with him.

But I think the number of women marrying guys they have no interest in are very low outside obvious communities (guys looking for 3rd world wives, 90 y.o. Billionaires).

Mainly these are guys that have just inched over her attractiveness line, who then very quickly drop way below it by getting fat and lazy and boring.

mistresswhat · 2019-07-27T20:56:14+00:00

I struggle to believe that "beta" men as described in their stereotypes can lock down a woman.

Ideology full of logical inconsistencies has logical inconsistencies. Shocker.

FutureSquall · 2019-07-27T21:00:11+00:00

I don’t think the whole beta/alpha thing fits human beings because of how dynamic and adaptable we are.

TheLongerCon · 2019-07-27T22:32:18+00:00

well, I would assume that they'd just find a good-looking guy to be their sperm donor and then just raise the kid alone?

Why would they want to do that? Does raising a kid alone seem like fun to you?

Why would they procreate with a guy they find unattractive??

Because he supports her both from a financial and child-rearing perspective. Because single parenthood is still looked down on in large parts of the country. Because get inseminated by a sperm bank is expensive and dehumanizing, and no one wants to tell their kids that their daddy doesn't even know they exist.

Willow-girl · 2019-07-28T02:34:02+00:00

Instead, I feel that the case is more of one where the guy enters her frame over time and only then becomes low-quality in her eyes.

This! Women think they're marrying Prince Charming, then he turns out to be weak and lazy. Whoops!

DXBrigade · 2019-07-27T19:54:01+00:00

If the whole AF/ BB was right, then most men would lose their V-card at 30, because most men are beta and 30 is when these guys become interesting to women.

MasonMan1234 · 2019-07-27T20:06:11+00:00

Why would they procreate with a guy they find unattractive??

Financial benefits.

johnhawkinsbp · 2019-07-27T20:19:01+00:00

Most men are beta, almost by definition. If beta men weren't marrying, marriage wouldn't continue to exist as an institution. Also, people end up mating with the best person they can get, given their current situation and beliefs. In other words, they might like someone better if the situation was ideal, but they settle to have a better environment for their kid and a partner.

wekacuck · 2019-07-27T20:39:40+00:00

We trick women into thinking we're repressed alphas and they're silly enough to think they can change us.

KikiYuyu · 2019-07-28T08:18:04+00:00

Maybe women have.... different tastes????

Boobear3 · 2019-07-28T14:32:36+00:00

Most women would rather settle with an unattractive men than get a sperm donor. Unattractive men aren’t as repulsive to women as unattractive women are to men. As long as a beta man has some self awareness and recognizes his weaknesses, he can make a decent husband. The problem comes when beta men have some delusion that they’re amazing at everything then they end up fucking things up.

Icunvme66 · 2019-07-27T19:17:11+00:00

Remember the far majority of men are “beta”. That’s the most common dynamic between men and women. It’s Alpha men that struggle with dating and marriage.

EthelSupreme · 2019-07-27T19:22:57+00:00

Youre right. I was way more alpha when i started dating. I had no RP exposure whatsoever but I knew that my last relationship failed because i had been too pussy, so i decided to always err on the side of not being a pussy.

I did shit like straight up tell my wife what to do, say "no" with no follow up or explanation, tell her "man time." And just go out with my cousins or the boys, be sexual with her 24/7 and aggressive, and try to mog people whenever she was around. I actually forced one of the more bitch guys in my friend group to verbally apologize to her over some imagined slight and he fuckin did lmao.

15 years later and im like samson after delilah cuts his hair. Chained to the pillars, my eyes and tongue carved out, a whipping boy for every marital woe and petty complaint she has. Im exaggerating, but theres a kernel of truth. Too tired from all the shit tests. Drunk captain asleep at the wheel, but i just dont have the mental energy to have conflict with her allll the fuckin time and have to "earn" everything all the fuckin time.

You see the alpha me that I started out with when dating her was never the real me. I'm a big softie inside. I want everyone to get along and be happy. I don't like conflict or hurt feelz. I wanna hold hands while staring into the sunset and baring our souls and watch the waves crash and cling to each other and read books with each other and laze around in bed. I was never going to be able to sustain the alpha me over the long haul.

It doesnt matter now, I know who I am and who I want to be, the pussy is nothing to me. Easy come easy go. I prefer to be the beta me because its real. The mistake wasnt losing my alpha it was pretending for the sake of some girl. Too late to change it now but at least I know whats up about life. I just let her be her and I choose to be me. Women have this emotional energy for power and conflict and struggle and arguments and games and nonsense. Not me. I just want some peace and quiet. Im 30 years old. Practically dead, a relic from the era of VCRs and TVs with antennae. Life is too short for all this.

JosephZheng111 · 2019-07-28T14:05:54+00:00

Because they are looking for a meal ticket. If you have a child with a good looking but poor man. You just end up with a baby with no car and no house. And you end up being poor. Unless you intend to be self reliant and dont need a man's money.

I want to either be rich beta or a poor alpha. Either way. I dont have to work for it.

Triadfamilyties · 2019-07-27T20:21:34+00:00

Beta men don't really exist. Just like women are not so simple as to exist as a monolith (AWALT) men aren't so simple as to be divided into alpha and beta men. Its all over generalization and fundamentally false by virtue of being too generalized to represent anything or any real population of people.

That's why you're here. If you think it through it stops making sense

LivelyChartreuse · 2019-07-27T19:27:28+00:00

Instead, I feel that the case is more of one where the guy enters her frame over time and only then becomes low-quality in her eyes.

You have it correct.

maljo24 · 2019-07-27T21:01:09+00:00

Women love beta men. Think of beta men as normal men and alpha men as jerks and you'll get the picture. There is no wall by the wall, maybe a small hill that we keep climbing until death, but no wall. There is a whole lot of nonsense posted out there. Want to know the truth, ask your mother.

reluctantly_red · 2019-07-27T19:52:18+00:00

I feel that the case is more of one where the guy enters her frame over time and only then becomes low-quality in her eyes.

Sort of. Women are great at deluding themselves. When they want to settle down they really do go looking for a good man and they really do feel attraction for the guys they find -- at least at first. Its when that good man fails to meet the woman's (often very unreasonable) expectations that problems start.

For example a thirty something woman who slept with a lot of athletes and bad boys in her youth, but who has since gained a lot of weight, wants to settle down might decide that college educated professionally employed guy who is a bit of an introvert and somewhat overweight himself is the guy of her dreams. She'll convince herself that she's actually attracted and the social validation she receives from landing a fairly high status guy will seal the deal. However, if his career trajectory turns out to be somewhat less than hoped for and he gets a little fatter she'll start to feel she's been cheated out of what she's due. Her expectations are not met and she falls out of love without any regret. If there's a more promising alternative guy waiting in the wings this happens all the faster.

AutoModerator · 2019-07-27T19:08:24+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Xemnas81 · 2019-07-28T19:45:47+00:00

I've always understood Beta to mean that he would in fact be an attractive man IF hypergamy was not fixated on male behaviour. Betas accept and come into women's frame; they are only assertive enough to be functional. They have no major ambitions and minimal self interest beyond basic care. They have no interest in playing the game of war, politics, or high finance; they aren't particularly interested in status. It doesn't come naturally to them to leave people/jobs in order to change and pursue what they really want. You cannot actually tell the difference between a beta male and an alpha male simply by looking at him, because it's about 'personality'-seriously. It's a mindset.

It's really difficult to say whether it's a good or bad thing. I personally think both feminism AND TRP/PUA/MGTOW all encourage a degree of narcissism and other Dark Triad traits labeled 'rational self interest.' The influence of Objectivist philosophy and ethics as some form of platonic ideal is everywhere in Red Pill discourse. I've found most Red Pill men take the position that the root problem is too much focus on me-me culture and not enough on family, nation, tradition-BUT, too many women have already taken the Individualism pill (Feminism/Tradlite Gynocentrism) so they are going to follow suit. This is why the Manosphere (outside of Youtube MGTOW and PUA) is starting to go more and more tradcon, authoritarian right.

But as far as "how does a beta get married" go? Simple. When she wants him (or a man like him), she will get him. He will be there waiting and he will accept (enter her frame.) He's not unfuckable, not some obvious NEETcel or basketcase or fatso, but nor is he going anywhere.

AngryNurse2019 · 2019-07-29T17:54:19+00:00

No such thing as alpha/beta.

pnadlerlaw · 2019-07-27T20:49:42+00:00

I think it’s insecurity.

It’s the same way some guys will date and voluntarily/consciously get into a relationship with an average looking girl. They just want to feel super secure and good looking.

I think some women just want the security of feeling like they are the more attractive/desirable one in the relationship and less likely to cheat on her (and to treat her well and appreciate her / love her).

Title	How do "beta" men date/marry in the first place?
Author	Maybelowsmv
Upvotes	26
Comments	250
Date	July 27, 2019 7:08 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ciljw6/how_do_beta_men_datemarry_in_the_first_place/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-beta-men-datemarry-in-the-first-place.254711 https://theredarchive.com/post/254711

Comments