The media and many “fitspo”/weight loss groups tend to feed off women’s desire to be thinner. The average female celebrity has a BMI of around 18-19, and in weight-centered groups such as MFP and even among some subreddits, I can’t tell you how many women with normal BMIs of around 23-25 think they are too fat, and diet down to low BMIs (with low fat, low carb meals, obsessive workouts.) and they end up looking gaunt and bony.

People everywhere will praise their weight loss, since we tend to praise all weight loss regardless of how it is done. Last night, I saw a post about a girl who had dieted down to a BMI of 16, and the commenters defended her, saying that “she looks fit” and saying her bone structure is “naturally tiny”, etc. This was not a pro-eating disorder subreddit, but a weight loss support group.

And of course, another obsession with weight and body image is deep within the fitness community, reselling diets and obsessive workouts as manageable “lifestyle” changes. And that if you’re not committed to getting abs and big glutes and muscle booties, you’re worthless and a sloth. That if you don’t work out and build big muscles, you’ll gain weight forever and become obese.

All weight loss communities are rooted in fear. Fear of gaining weight, shame for gaining weight, and developing anxiety over food and eating habits. Women might think they look fantastic at a BMI of 19, but a BMI of 21-25 might be much more attractive and healthy than forever restricting calories to maintain some media constructed ideal.

I think what stems women from dieting down and attempting to stay there are due to other women’s compliments. “Oh you’re so skinny!” “I wish I could be as skinny as you.” Women may be jealous of ultra-leanness, but most men would rather pick the alternative (think Christina Hendricks or Bryce Dallas Howard) than some skinny woman who never eats and hops from one fad diet to the next. Many women overestimate the importance of a sexy body, when in fact, people tend to find a pretty, plump, youthful face more attractive than some drawn, haggard woman.

The media feeds off our desire to always be slimmer, wether by 25 pounds or 5 pounds, wether of normal weight or overweight, and sells us the myth of transformation. The result of the myth is many women ending up overweight or obese due to unsustainable yo-yo diets and extreme weight cycling. A normal weight woman with a BMI of 22 might never have dieted, but talk to any woman with a BMI of 28 and you’ll find that nearly every single one of them has, and that when they first dieted, they were majority of normal weight.