There’s an obvious reason many women hesitate to admit they want casual sex. Despite all the sex-positive rhetoric and claims of not caring about gender norms, many still resist the self-image of being an “easy slut.” They may reject the label intellectually, but it still shapes how they see themselves. So they enjoy sexual freedom, but cushion it with romantic language because they don’t want to see themselves as that “type of woman.” 

However, it seems weird for guys to deny liking causal sex because men are seen as high value for fucking around. Turns out men has a similar problem. While women don’t want to be seen as “easy sluts,” many men don’t want to be seen as men who want easy sluts. Men are not socially rewarded  for sexual replaceability. They want sex to make them feel chosen.

For men who want sex to feel special, sexual access only has value if it signals uniqueness. If a woman is perceived as sexually indiscriminate then sex with her doesn’t confirm desirability. It confirms availability. He isn’t chosen, he was just another dick to hop on. This is also why men often react negatively to women who behave sexually the way men are encouraged to behave. It’s fine to objectify women and to use women. It’s not fine when men are objectified and used.

A common rebuttal to this is: “Men would love to be used for sex.”

And that’s true…… for men who want sex primarily because it’s enjoyable.

Men who genuinely want sex for pleasure tend to be fine with admitting they want something casual, upfront about wanting casual sex, and fine with being one of many options a woman has. Men who insist they want relationships while enforcing hookup standards are different. Admitting wanting casual sex then filters for women who also admit to wanting casual sex. The “sluts”, who are still considered low value. Men admitting they primarily want “low value women” are basically admitting to other men they themselves are low value.

Men aren’t ashamed of wanting sex. They’re ashamed of appearing sexually disposable. It’s why there are men in situationships  who act like they’ve been cheated on despite the fact HE said “let’s not do labels” and “I dont want anything serious”. Also, there was a meme on tikTok where a guy tells his girlfriend “I fucked seven bitches” while on a break to belittle her. As soon as she says “I’ve been on a date”, he crumbles, devastated. It’s about a power dynamic as well. They want the woman chasing them and begging for his approval. Her finding other guys means he's not valuable. He's just another dick for her to hop on.