N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD

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[–]FredWest_2Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (54 children) | Copy Link

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[–]FredWest_2Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman [score hidden] 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]FredWest_2Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Present-Interest-975Blue Pill Bisexual Woman [score hidden] 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]FredWest_2Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb [score hidden] 1 year ago (30 children) | Copy Link

[–]FredWest_2Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (29 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb [score hidden] 1 year ago (28 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb [score hidden] 1 year ago (26 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb [score hidden] 1 year ago (24 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb [score hidden] 1 year ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb [score hidden] 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]FredWest_2Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman [score hidden] 1 year ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]Embarrassed-Neat6745Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ultramega39Male/#MensMentalHealthMonth [score hidden] 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]New-Western-4819No Pill [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb [score hidden] 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman [score hidden] 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Present-Interest-975Blue Pill Bisexual Woman [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RahLytPurple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman [score hidden] 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]RahLytPurple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (66 children) | Copy Link

[–]Squibbles01Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mauf066No Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]SousVida 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]jay303xwine moms banished from PPD: 1 | man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago* (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]nefnafautistic sex savant (Man) [score hidden] 1 year ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]jay303xwine moms banished from PPD: 1 | man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago* (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]jay303xwine moms banished from PPD: 1 | man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]jay303xwine moms banished from PPD: 1 | man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]SousVida 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]jay303xwine moms banished from PPD: 1 | man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (13 children) | Copy Link

No, they despise women that were ran through by multiple men. If she had experience with her bf/husband, nobody despises that.
No, it's not them who dislike those women. Most men don't have casual sex, definitely not consistently. A few men are responsible for increasing women's numbers, you can easily see it in the distribution of partners. Besides, they don't sleep with all women. So they can treat some as recreation-use and want to seriously date others and be unhappy if those others slept with other men. No contradiction here. It's not about sleeping with men, it's about sleeping with other men. Therefore, if a man sleeps with women casually, he's not creating women who slept with other men, i.e. doesn't contribute to the problem he could be having. Either way, my initial point holds. Women are selectors and gatekeepers.
Explained above. Some would care, some others would care and not want to be insulted and that could stop them. Some men would see it and wouldn't want to be ridiculed for being with one of those women seriously => women would know that it could cost them option, and that could stop them. So, there are quite a few things one could imagine that would be in the interest of those men. A simple question is why would doing that be worse of a strategy than not doing it? Can you imagine how not doing it could be better for them? I can't.

[–]slazengerxinhabitant of carcosa 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]slazengerxinhabitant of carcosa 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]SousVida -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]SousVida -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

When a penis is running through a part of your body. It's right there, in the name. No, that's not what I confirmed. Again, they are only bothered if they are having sex with multiple men.
No, that doesn't cause the problem they hate. Other men doing it might cause a problem, though, if they hope to seriously date one of them women who slept casually with multiple other men. Of course, if no rape is involved, it was a woman's call and she's the one he interacts with directly now, not her other men.
Yes, they are. We don't say it to feel better, it doesn't make us feel better. We say it to describe the situation. Because of the supply-demand ratio (among other things), the bottleneck is on women's side. It's simply a mathematically accurate description of what's going on. Women are the gatekeepers and selectors. It's very easy to verify. A random man would sleep with a much higher percentage of women he sees than the percentage of men you would sleep with.

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

They run through rims of orifices in a body or formed by body parts (e.g. hand). Men understand how it works. Of course, running through etymology has nothing to do with that - it means being of the women a man is running through, but what I said is a good and accurate illustration.

No, it doesn't. As explained above, the problem they hate is women sleeping with other men and then trying to date them.

Hypocritical morons have nothing to do with this topic. Men who sleep with other men and don't want women to sleep with other men are a minority and aren't really discussed here. TRP is about straight men. Those men are not hypocritical here. Hypocritical would be "I do (don't) A but think people shouldn't (should) do A", but "I do A and think people shouldn't do B" where A is not equal to B is not hypocritical. For example, A= sleep with women, B= sleep with men.

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

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[–]DelusionIncarnateXDTwo Handed Great Sword Wielding Cum Brained MALE 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]DelusionIncarnateXDTwo Handed Great Sword Wielding Cum Brained MALE -2 points-1 points0 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]DelusionIncarnateXDTwo Handed Great Sword Wielding Cum Brained MALE -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]DelusionIncarnateXDTwo Handed Great Sword Wielding Cum Brained MALE 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]DelusionIncarnateXDTwo Handed Great Sword Wielding Cum Brained MALE 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Corbast7Feminist + Leftist Woman / no war but class war [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Bitch_King-of_Angmarbased and fatphobia-pilled 💊 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (24 children) | Copy Link

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[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

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It's not just vibes, there is research backing this. Multiple cross-cultural studies (e.g., Buss & Schmitt, 1993; Buss, 1989) show men consistently place a higher premium on sexual exclusivity and chastity in long-term mates than women do. Evolutionary psych theory explains this as men wanting certainty of paternity, while women prioritize resources and stability. That doesn't mean all men are like this or it's right, it's just a trend seen across societies.

Also, recent studies (e.g., Mogilski et al., 2014) back the idea that men tend to value a partner's sexual history more heavily than women when considering marriage. So yeah, it's not entitlement, it's dudes responding to market dynamics where they were ignored when younger and now are expected to commit to someone who might’ve dismissed them back then.

Not saying it’s fair or ideal, but it’s a mismatch of timing and priorities shaped by biology and culture. That tension’s what causes resentment.

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Mogilski et al., 2014

This one only looks at history of sexual fidelity, not promiscuity. And from the study:

"There were no significant differences between men’s and women’s importance values for financial stability, physical attractiveness, sexual fidelity, and emotional investment"

"There were no sex differences in the rated importance of sexual fidelity and similarity."

Buss & Schmitt, 1993

This one from what I gather also only looks at sexual fidelity, though more in passing from what I gather, and it's clashed by the aforementioned study.

Buss, 1989

Fair, I knew about this one, but culture changes (noteworthy for a study that focuses in cultures) and this one is pretty old. Furthermore it's not completely conclusive even back then, it shows only 62% of cultures showed significant differences in evaluation of chastity, whereas in the rest (38%), there's no significant difference on how men and women evaluate chastity.

Nowadays men and women show similar n-count preferences in surveys and such, and evidence that women care less is scarce. You can easily use evopsych explanations for this too, like manwhores not committing, or when they do, straining their resources thin across multiple women.

it's dudes responding to market dynamics where they were ignored when younger and now are expected to commit to someone who might’ve dismissed them back then

Sorry but this seems like a change since our last conversation. Are you admitting that the problem is that you don't think you've glown up, it's just that her standards might have lowered and thus she doesn't really like you? That's textbook insecurity, be it justified or not.

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Double-Disaster7342No Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

The reasons men give for "preferring" low n counts are indicative of shameful views and thought processes regarding women and sex. (With the exception being men who believe that sex = intimacy and it's only meant to be had with as few people as possible, and who also practice that themselves. That's fine.)

The vast majority of people take a casual approach to relationships until they find somebody worthy of more commitment. You don't find someone to marry without going on dates and getting to know them first, unless the marriage was arranged or something (and even then most people in arranged marriages spend some time getting to know each other first.)

If someone wants to have more sexual experiences, they ought to have them before they settle down with someone. Having excessive jealousy over your partner's experiences is weird.

[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate your perspective, and I agree that double standards and inconsistent expectations can be problematic. If someone expects a partner to have a low number of past partners, it’s only fair that they hold themselves to the same standard. That consistency matters.

At the same time, I don’t think all preferences around sexual history come from shame or outdated thinking. For some people, it’s more about emotional compatibility, long-term trust, or personal comfort, not moral judgment. Everyone has different boundaries shaped by their own experiences and values.

I think it’s important we leave room for people to be honest about what matters to them in a partner, without assuming they’re being malicious or insecure. What works for one person might not work for another, and that’s okay, as long as it’s approached with self-awareness and mutual respect.

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

For some people, it’s more about emotional compatibility, long-term trust, or personal comfort, not moral judgment. Everyone has different boundaries shaped by their own experiences and values.

I'm trying to understand what you mean. How does one's n count affect emotional compatibility, long term trust, and personal comfort, without having an underlying judgement about n counts? The way I'm interpreting this is, "High n people don't change, they always want new partners, they're more likely to cheat, etc--" you know, all the moral prejudice people have about high n people-- "therefore I don't think I could be compatible, trusting, or comfortable with a high n partner." Is there a different way to interpret this that I'm not seeing?

I think it’s important we leave room for people to be honest about what matters to them in a partner, without assuming they’re being malicious or insecure. What works for one person might not work for another, and that’s okay, as long as it’s approached with self-awareness and mutual respect.

I definitely think people should be honest about this particular issue. I usually shared that I have a high n count with people on first dates, to weed out anyone who didn't like that, and that worked. I wouldn't want to be with someone who cared, and they obviously wouldn't want to be with me. However, like I said, there are very, very few reasons for caring about n count that are not malicious or a result of insecurity-- and sure, we can ask to find out if it's that like, one valid reason or if it is maliciousness/insecurity... I also don't think many people who care about n count are entirely self-aware of their beliefs, nor are they particularly respectful.

[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate your thoughtful engagement and the clarity of your question.

To answer it directly. yes, there is empirical evidence showing that a higher number of past sexual partners is associated with increased likelihood of both infidelity and divorce. This isn't just social stigma or moral bias; it's been demonstrated in multiple peer-reviewed studies.

For example, Lehrer (2008) found that women with more premarital sexual partners faced significantly higher divorce rates, even after controlling for other variables. Similarly, Wolfinger (2016), using data from the National Survey of Family Growth, showed that women with 10 or more lifetime partners had the highest divorce rates of any group studied. When it comes to infidelity, the General Social Survey data cited by Wilcox et al. (2019) found a clear positive correlation between number of sexual partners and likelihood of cheating during marriage.

These findings don’t mean everyone with a high count will be unfaithful or have a failed marriage. But statistically speaking, the risk increases. For someone looking to build a long-term relationship, it’s reasonable to weigh those probabilities as part of assessing compatibility.

This isn’t about moral judgment. It’s about risk assessment and emotional security. Discomfort with high partner counts can stem from pattern recognition rather than insecurity or prejudice. While I agree that not everyone who expresses this concern does so with full self-awareness, that doesn’t mean their reasoning is automatically invalid or malicious.

Ultimately, no one is entitled to a relationship on their terms alone. Compatibility includes preferences, values, and yes, comfort levels based on real-world data. What matters is that people approach these conversations honestly, and with mutual respect.

Thanks again for continuing the discussion in good faith.

[–]MongoBobalossus 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MuscletovMaroon pill man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bitch_King-of_Angmarbased and fatphobia-pilled 💊 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (11 children) | Copy Link

don't worry. you can pump up your n count numbers by counting all the non sexual but similar enough to sex experiences, like fucking a microwave watermelon, humping a couch, or taking a 3 hour long monster dump. if we add all these kinds of experiences up, and double the counts for anal and armpit fucking, some people are walking around with way higher numbers than they think.

urinary tract infections should count as another body as well. in fact if i count all the disgusting health problems ive had as part of my n count, im easily in the double digits.

another good one is to count all the horrible bong rips you've ever taken. where it feels like your throat was bleeding.

you don't even need another person, most people have had many awful things like this happen to them. they're mildly traumatic too, so it's like a mentally scarring experience just like sex often is.

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you're missing my point though. it wasn't that you should date people you don't want to date. it was questioning the entire hierarchy you've been basing your judgments on.

itd be one thing if you met a woman, got to know her, realized she'd either had too many partners or had weird sex that made you uncomfortable, then you decide you want to not date her anymore.

it's all this psychoanalyzing and moral outrage.

one time i found out a guy i was considering dating did fisting with his ex and accidentally put it (his dick this time, not his fist) in her asshole. i thought it was kind of weird so i stopped talking to him. now obviously i also told that story to a bunch of other people, and im bringing it up right now.

why? i mean fisting is pretty out there. is he a bad person? he just seems to think shoving a fist in a vagina is normal. i can't comprehend it, so i didn't date him. I found it confusing and scary so I just called it off. no one else cared.

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dudes who've had it rough—no attention, no validation—are being asked to just "man up" and accept partners whose pasts scream they had way more options.

What exactly is the problem with someone who had more options when younger? Seems like you increased your league, what about it? Why fumble it? As far as the arguments for caring about n-count, I don't see this exact one.

If people naturally pair with similar experience levels like you say, then isn’t it fair for low-n guys to want the same? Why are they shamed for preferring someone with a background more like theirs?

Religious men date religious women, nerdy men fate similarly introverted women, similar backgrounds date similar backgrounds, and pretty sure nobody raises issues about it. As far as the shaming goes it usually has more to do with the rationale.

[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

You're asking what's the problem with someone who had more options when younger? It’s not about “fumbling”—it’s about compatibility and fairness. When a guy's entire dating history is silence and rejection, and suddenly he's expected to not blink at a partner who had her pick of the bunch, it feels like the scales were never balanced. It's not about “insecurity,” it’s about reciprocity.

And sure, religious folks date religious folks, nerds date nerds—that’s precisely my point. But when low-n guys want low-n partners, suddenly it's “misogynistic,” “insecure,” or “controlling.” The rationale people get shamed for is usually just wanting someone with a background that mirrors their own. No one calls religious preferences a red flag—but say “body count matters” and the mob shows up.

So either we let everyone prefer what they prefer, or we stop selectively moralizing certain preferences. Pick one.

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

You're asking what's the problem with someone who had more options when younger? It’s not about “fumbling”—it’s about compatibility and fairness. When a guy's entire dating history is silence and rejection, and suddenly he's expected to not blink at a partner who had her pick of the bunch, it feels like the scales were never balanced. It's not about “insecurity,” it’s about reciprocity.

I can't get this logic at all. To try to learn more about what you mean by this: do you only care about getting with a woman who was more desirable than you when younger only if she was promiscuous? That is, if it's a chaste woman who had her pick but chose to have at most a few relationships regardless, would you still care? This only sounds like letting useless resentment and jealousy fester, not anything that helps you get a good and compatible partner for you in any way.

"Fairness" "balanced scales" what about those? What's the point of caring about those outside of a relationship? "Reciprocity" same thing, why even care about this abstract concept? These words just sounds like buzzwords to me in the context about not wanting someone who merely had more options than you when younger.

And sure, religious folks date religious folks, nerds date nerds—that’s precisely my point. But when low-n guys want low-n partners, suddenly it's “misogynistic,” “insecure,” or “controlling.” The rationale people get shamed for is usually just wanting someone with a background that mirrors their own. No one calls religious preferences a red flag—but say “body count matters” and the mob shows up.

So either we let everyone prefer what they prefer, or we stop selectively moralizing certain preferences. Pick one.

There's insecure reasons for preferring low n count (e.g. "I need to be her best sexual partner ever for the relationship to be good and that's harder if I've got more competence") that get posted and upvoted on these threads routinely, people are going to call those out. And I honestly feel prompted to say the same about your reasoning.

"I want an ex-undesirable girl who had a glow up so that we can bond over our shared bitterness when young" or maybe even drop the attractiveness part "I want a fellow ugly undesirable girl I consider that personal compatibility more important than anything else", if you phrased it like that I'd get it more? But then you throw comments like "fairness" like as if we lived in some sexual communist society where it was mandated every man had to get the same amount of pussy to make things fair and women are the sexual equivalent of kulaks refusing to give you the pussy up or something.

[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I get where you're coming from and to be fair, I think a lot of the disconnect here comes down to how people express their preferences vs. how they're interpreted.

I'm not asking for some utopia where everyone gets perfectly distributed outcomes. I'm pointing out that when men express a desire for a partner with a similar relational background, it often gets moralized but when women express preferences (height, income, experience), it’s treated as acceptable filtering.

As for “fairness” and “reciprocity,” maybe those aren’t the best words, I don’t mean society owes anyone a partner. I mean relational dynamics feel more stable when both people come from a similar place, and for some men, that includes shared social experience growing up. Not bitterness, just relatability.

I’m not trying to shame anyone or demand anything. Just arguing that if preferences are allowed across the board, then there should be room for this one too without shaming it into submission. You feel me?

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I'm not pushing a narrative here though. because it already exists. You'd see so many reddit threads on women venting that they got rejected by a guy because of her past. Or their boyfriends dumping them after finding out about her past, and most of those times, the boyfriend is of low n count most of the time. not just reddit, it literally happens. I'm most likely referring to retroactive jealousy and it's a deal breaker for lots of guys (Im not saying this doesnt happen to high n count guys, it happens too) But you'd see so much "she was my first, and im her nth bla bla" to say that it isn't happening is being disingenuous. Guess you could say it applies to low n women as well?

"High-n women don't decide to pursue or pair up with low-n inexperienced men"

I guess it's my fault. I didn't clarify enough. let me rephrase it. "Why do women feel resentment towards the guy that rejected/dumped her because he has a problem with her past?" Not more of a pursuit but more like, a discovery during early to mid phases of dating. Like the threads I've read always have shown that the guy has little to no sexual experience and everyone was clowning on him like "HES INSECURE!" Like duh? stop and move for someone that's on your wavelength.

I'm asking women not high n men, because i wanna know their perspective.

[–]Bitch_King-of_Angmarbased and fatphobia-pilled 💊 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

"Why do women feel resentment towards the guy that rejected/dumped her because he has a problem with her past?"

I'd much rather just be rejected over it than accused of lying about it constantly by scary, volatile dudes. Not guys like you, btw. it's not just guys who never had options who like to slut shame. ive been slutshamed by dudes with huge numbers while myself having none or next to none myself.

the issue really comes down to guys either suspecting (even if theyre wrong, their rage is real) or knowing a woman's past and still deciding to date her anyways and making her life miserable. being rejected or dumped is like getting your life back, "free at last" rather than being subjected to constant bitching all day long.

chances are though that you and I dont frequent the same social scene or run in the same circles, and our lifestyles are probably just not really going to work together anyway. you probably wouldn't find me attractive, i probably wouldn't find you attractive.

so let's just leave it at that.

but we can agree that if you start considering someone too slutty for you, whether that perception is based on reality or not (it actually doesnt matter imo), you should just leave her alone. i tend to agree with guys about their n count preferences, not because i agree with them, but because i know they'll make people miserable and they shouldn't inflict themselves on others if they hate some aspect of that person.

[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Thank you, I actually agree with all the points you raised, especially that guys who date someone despite issues with her past and then weaponize it later are making both people miserable, and it's honestly pathetic. That’s not something I support. My focus was more on the early stages, when a guy finds out about a woman’s sexual history during dating and decides it’s a dealbreaker before the relationship deepens.

You’re right that rejection is preferable to dragging someone through judgment. That’s exactly why I asked why there’s so much backlash from some women when a man rejects them over past choices. If he’s respectful and just chooses not to proceed, why is the reaction often “he’s insecure” or “he can’t handle a real woman”? Why not just accept they’re not compatible?

The resentment seems one-sided at times. A woman is free to reject a man for being short, broke, inexperienced, or awkward, and it’s called standards. But if a man values sexual exclusivity or low experience, it's painted as insecurity or misogyny. That double standard is what I’m trying to unpack.

I’m not here to shame. I’m just trying to understand the emotional reaction behind some women getting mad at rejection, when the guy simply exercises preference the same way women do all the time.

I fully agree and appreciate your insightful take either way, thanks.

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Going to emphasize again your complete and utter inability to provide literally a single solitary shred of data to support the assumption in your OC
Hence why I'm concluding this is largely a myth

Women being turned down "because of their past" isn't somehow proof high-n women are super drawn to sexually inhibited men, plenty of men have a double-standard where they think it's okay for them to sleep around but not women 🙄

5 seconds on the exact same Reddit you're referencing would have also shown you that

"Why do women feel resentment towards the guy that rejected/dumped her because he has a problem with her past?"

Because no one likes being rejected??! Tf kind of question is that

Are you somehow under the impression that people really like it when they're rejected by someone they were interested in??

[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate your persistence, but I believe you're missing the point of my question by narrowing it solely to rejection. Of course, nobody enjoys being rejected—that’s not the argument. What I’m pointing out is the disproportionate reaction and common rhetorical deflection that occurs when some women are rejected specifically because of a high sexual past.

Rather than accepting that a man might have personal standards or insecurities rooted in limited experience, the typical public response (as seen frequently across platforms like Reddit and TikTok) is to pathologize his boundaries with labels like "insecure," "misogynist," or "not a real man." That reaction is what I’m questioning—not rejection itself, but the response to the reason for rejection.

You also continue to demand data to disprove what I clearly framed as a cultural trend or social pattern—not a scientific hypothesis. Not every observable behavior requires a peer-reviewed meta-analysis to be relevant. If a pattern emerges repeatedly in real-world discussions, social media, and anecdotal evidence, it's at least worth exploring instead of dismissing it wholesale as a "myth."

Lastly, regarding the double standard: I never excused it. I’m explicitly asking why those same women—who presumably also had their "fun"—don’t feel naturally drawn to the male equivalents of themselves: men who also had high sexual activity but are now settling down. If anything, it’s an honest appeal for symmetry, not judgment.

You’re arguing as though I’m pushing a narrative out of resentment. I’m not. I’m pointing out a repeated and observable disconnect and asking for honest engagement with the question, not dismissive mockery.

[–]fiftypoundpuppyCollecting Alpha Widow benefits ♀ 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Why cant women with a slutty past just try and end up with the chad who had all the ladies back then

Slutty men aren't necessarily "Chads," they're just sexually uninhibited

I neglected to call out this erroneous conflation to begin with, but it is integral to what I've been saying

Rather than accepting that a man might have personal standards or insecurities rooted in limited experience, the typical public response (as seen frequently across platforms like Reddit and TikTok) is to pathologize his boundaries with labels like "insecure,"

This is nonsensical, rather than accepting that a man is insecure, they call him insecure??

"misogynist," or "not a real man." That reaction is what I’m questioning—not rejection itself, but the response to the reason for rejection.

I've never heard anyone say a guy "isn't a real man" for not wanting to date a high-n woman, and "misogyny" is indeed an accurate label depending on specifically what the man said and how he said it

You also continue to demand data to disprove what I clearly framed as a cultural trend or social pattern—not a scientific hypothesis. Not every observable behavior requires a peer-reviewed meta-analysis to be relevant. If a pattern emerges repeatedly in real-world discussions, social media, and anecdotal evidence, it's at least worth exploring instead of dismissing it wholesale as a "myth."

The "pattern" is a myth though, largely born out of confirmation bias from men who just endlessly parrot manosphere talking points

I have never once in my life been asked what my body count was or my relationship history by a guy I've dated. If you specifically seek out women complaining about having been asked this question and being rejected for this answer, then yes, I'm sure you can portray it as some sort of epidemic or whatever. But it's really not a thing. Most guys are normal and most guys are not asking women for their body count and being neurotic about it like the low sociosexual men who occupy this particular website

Your entire argument is an appeal to common sense fallacy. It's a "tale as old as time!" Well it's a tale at least

Lastly, regarding the double standard: I never excused it. I’m explicitly asking why those same women—who presumably also had their "fun"—don’t feel naturally drawn to the male equivalents of themselves: men who also had high sexual activity but are now settling down. If anything, it’s an honest appeal for symmetry, not judgment.

They absolutely are, and that's who most of them end up with

People mate assortatively

The "disconnect" is in your head

[–]New-Dragonfruit-3349Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You're asserting that the "pattern" I mentioned is a myth born purely out of confirmation bias and manosphere talking points. But ironically, your counterclaim that “most guys aren’t neurotic about body count” is itself anecdotal and rooted in your personal experience. You said you’ve “never once” been asked your body count, and you extrapolate from that to declare the issue largely nonexistent. That’s not objective, it’s a sample size of one.

I’m not portraying this as an epidemic. I’m pointing out an observable subcultural trend that manifests consistently online—especially in spaces where dating mismatches and relationship standards are openly discussed. Your dismissal of those lived accounts as "not real" unless they align with your worldview is intellectually dishonest.

Regarding assortative mating, yes—it’s well documented that people tend to pair with others of similar backgrounds, beliefs, and even sexual experience levels. But then that raises the question: why is it still socially acceptable to shame men who opt out of relationships with high-n women if they themselves are low-n? The term “insecure” is applied liberally in those discussions, often not to high-n men, but to sexually inexperienced men who voice personal standards—whether rooted in insecurity or just preference.

It’s not the rejection or even the standards I’m critiquing. It’s the double standard in cultural messaging: women expressing preferences are “empowered,” but men expressing boundaries—especially low-n men—are “fragile” or “misogynist.” That contradiction deserves more scrutiny than you’re giving it.

You concluded with “the disconnect is in your head.” I’d argue the real disconnect is in pretending that personal anecdotes invalidate collective trends—or worse, assuming those trends are malicious propaganda simply because they originate in online male spaces. Sometimes a repeated experience is data. It's just inconvenient to your narrative.

[–]fiftypoundpuppyCollecting Alpha Widow benefits ♀ 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Once again, I'm not the one with the narrative. You are.

Speaking of "intellectual dishonesty," I never claimed half the shit you're saying I did, and never said half the things you're attributing to me in this comment.

I've never said this has never happened. I'm saying it's wildly overstated, just like AF/BB and other manosphere tropes, and the disproportionate focus on these experiences that the vast majority of women never have is mostly just ragebait. Men in these circles are addicted to outrage and victimhood, and grasp for any little thing to feed it.

I think most of the men who loudly insist on explaining their "preferences" are insecure. Some are even self-aware enough to cop to it. I think the purpose in expressing these preferences a lot of the time is trying to neg and shame women into behaving in ways more aligned with what they want. But honestly I've never really cared much about why they feel the way they do one way or another; I don't care what preferences men have.

But every n-count post immediately is cluttered with the circle-jerking of "sluts bad," and in fact the reason we needed the mega thread to begin with was because of the incessant "sluts bad" posts spammed by men.

I'm going to go back to your original comment:

Why cant women with a slutty past just try and end up with the chad who had all the ladies back then? That's literally your counterpart! stop forcing dudes who obviously didnt have it all back then, of course they'd be bothered about it!

Women aren't "forcing dudes" to do shit; that's a narrative. Relationships require the consent of both individuals. Sluts aren't holding men hostage and forcing relationships with them, nor must it somehow automatically be "force" if a lower-n man pairs up with a higher-n woman. He is responsible for entering that relationship, and he is to blame if he can't handle the past of someone he chose to have a relationship with - not the succubus who "forced a relationship on him" 🙄 I don't know why sluts are supposed to self-select out of the dating pools of men who are interested in dating them based on this one thing, instead of those men just not choosing to date those women? Why does the woman have more agency than the man in this scenario?

Women with a slutty past by and large are ending up with slutty men, as you've already conceded. You have also conceded that some of these men are actually insecure.

So it seems like your real problem is women calling a spade a spade, and I guess there not being some sort of enforcement of your preferences on the masses. It's actually funny how you contradict yourself, because you act like there are other reasons other than insecurity, but then you say

of course they'd be bothered about it!

Which again takes me back to your posturing about how horrible it is that such men are called insecure

So women are supposed to assume every single man who hasn't fucked as many bodies as she has will be insecure about it, but she can't say that he's insecure.

Sure. Okay

Not to mention, some men aren't insecure about partnering with a more sexually experienced woman. Why do you think it's reasonable to demand women project assumptions on men according to your own opinion, and then change who they date because of those assumptions? Isn't that a bit misandrist to expect sluts to go "oh, I've had more sex than him so he's probably going to feel really insecure about that. I'll just not bother because of my own assumptions"

What else should we do this for? If we ever date a man who makes 6 figures, should we forever rule ourselves out of the dating pool of men who make 5? If we ever date a man who is 6', should we forever rule ourselves out of the dating pool of men shorter than 6'? To what extent do you think women should change who we're willing to date based on your perceived and projected insecurities of men?

Like this is actually insane

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I'm telling you that they are not inherently negative traits. If you don't desire sex that often, you just don't desire sex that often. If you're not interested in exploring non-traditional sex acts, you're not interested. You shouldn't feel pressured to do either of those things, and the individuals who do desire sex more frequently or do like to explore more aren't inherently "better" or more virtuous in any way.

Now, if you're a kinky, high libido individual, are you going to want a vanilla, low libido partner? Of course not. Just the same, a vanilla, low libido individual probably doesn't want a kinky, high libido partner who's going to want sex, and different kinds of sex, more often than them. It's simply a compatibility issue, not an issue of virtue/lack thereof.

Now, compare that to asserting high n people lack self control rather than, say, they see no reason to elect to keep their n counts low and so therefore they simply don't...

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[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]bv0724Prude ♀ 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

When you divide up the bell curve (normal distribution using bounded range normalized percentile, instead of the standard cumulative) by the horizontal distance (let's say the horizontal axis goes from 0 to 10 like how Reddit often likes to rate), and if you calculate the aggregate area (percentile) of the curve in 0.5 increments, we get the below table.

x	Normalized Percentile (%)
0.0	0.00
0.5	0.21
1.0	0.69
1.5	1.66
2.0	3.47
2.5	6.56
3.0	11.40
3.5	18.32
4.0	27.36
4.5	38.18
5.0	50.00
5.5	61.82
6.0	72.64
6.5	81.68
7.0	88.60
7.5	93.44
8.0	96.53
8.5	98.34
9.0	99.31
9.5	99.79
10.0	100.00

So according to the picture you used, TrueRateMe uses a normal distriution, but it treats 20 and 80 as the extreme edges of the bell curve, and 20-80 range represents 99.8% of the data in a normal distribution. Its x-axis labeling is just hella misleading.

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (30 children) | Copy Link

[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago* (28 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (25 children) | Copy Link

[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago* (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]Double-Disaster7342No Pill Woman 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Double-Disaster7342No Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]Sea-Roof-8135Green&White Pill W 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago* (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]washington_breadstixMan | 33 | American in Germany | 5'11" 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]PopeoathRed Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]JonMyMonPurple Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkMan: all pills are dumb 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MongoBobalossus 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (33 children) | Copy Link

[–]nefnafautistic sex savant (Man) 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]small-pp-small-smvDih Pilled Man 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]small-pp-small-smvDih Pilled Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]small-pp-small-smvDih Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]small-pp-small-smvDih Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]small-pp-small-smvDih Pilled Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]MongoBobalossus 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]MongoBobalossus 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]washington_breadstixMan | 33 | American in Germany | 5'11" 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]washington_breadstixMan | 33 | American in Germany | 5'11" 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]washington_breadstixMan | 33 | American in Germany | 5'11" 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]voxpopulibertySECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION #1776 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]ta06012022Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 11 points12 points13 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]voxpopulibertySECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION #1776 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]voxpopulibertySECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION #1776 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]voxpopulibertyRed Pill Man [score hidden] 1 year ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]laughwithesinners 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MongoBobalossus 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (23 children) | Copy Link

[–]voxpopulibertySECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION #1776 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]voxpopulibertySECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION #1776 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]voxpopulibertySECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION #1776 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]voxpopulibertySECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION #1776 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ihopeitllbealright 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ihopeitllbealright 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]firetrap2Purple Pill Married Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ihopeitllbealright 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]FichekNo Pill Man 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]firetrap2Purple Pill Married Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ihopeitllbealright 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]firetrap2Purple Pill Married Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Logos1789Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman -2 points-1 points0 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DelusionIncarnateXDTwo Handed Great Sword Wielding Cum Brained MALE 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Motor-Buy-6991Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DelusionIncarnateXDTwo Handed Great Sword Wielding Cum Brained MALE 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Visible-Department85 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MongoBobalossus 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]DelusionIncarnateXDTwo Handed Great Sword Wielding Cum Brained MALE -3 points-2 points-1 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExcitementLow4699MenCan’tFindAnythingPill | woman 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]DelusionIncarnateXDTwo Handed Great Sword Wielding Cum Brained MALE 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MongoBobalossus 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]DelusionIncarnateXDTwo Handed Great Sword Wielding Cum Brained MALE -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]MongoBobalossus 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]washington_breadstixMan | 33 | American in Germany | 5'11" 11 points12 points13 points 1 year ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Why do some people assume there's an inherent relationship between an individual's n-count and the quality of sex with that person?

I'm not sure whether I qualify as a "promiscuous" guy, but I've slept with both high-n and low-n women and have never noticed any correlation.

But for some reason, people talk about n-count like it has some huge effect on the quality of sex. As if a large gap in sexual experience / number of partners must imply a large gap in sexual "skills" as well.

Here's the thing: Sex is a very beginner-friendly activity. It really doesn't take much experience to reach a point where you understand what makes it "good" and what makes it "bad".

I can see how it would be frustrating to have a sexual relationship with someone who has a lot of mental/emotional hang-ups about sex. And those hang-ups may indeed (but don't necessarily) go hand-in-hand with a low n-count. But again... the hang-up/attitude is the core problem, not a high or low n-count.

I've had sub-par sex before, but the things that made the sex "bad" weren't really related to n-count. Maybe a particular partner didn't communicate well. Mabye our sex drives were out of sync. Maybe I didn't find her as attractive as I would've preferred.

But I've never quite been able to get behind the viewpoint of "It's cumbersome to have sex with an inexperienced person" or, on the other side of the spectrum, "You should date an experienced woman because she'll be better in bed!".

If your partner is emotionally invested in your pleasure – if your partner wants to give you a fun time in bed – they'll find a way to get the job done.

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]washington_breadstixMan | 33 | American in Germany | 5'11" 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I do think that some sexual skills relevant to the first times having sex are picked up by having a variety of partners.

I've seen a woman complain that a guy kept doing certain moves that were his ex's specific taste, mostly in the context that he refused to listen and believe her tastes could be different from his ex, but that still is a relevant point, by having sex with a broader section of people you get a better gauge of what people's average tastes are, and thus have better sex with people you don't know well yet. Better, you can practice the skills specific to more efficiently learning someone's tastes and adapting to them on the fly.

So it's relevant. Sex skills are more demanded by women than men, and certain skills are picked up by having more breadth of partners. Not enough to the point of low experience women preferring men way more experienced than them (if anything surveys show women on average preferring mostly low n men overall afaik), but it's a minor effect.

[–]washington_breadstixMan | 33 | American in Germany | 5'11" 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]washington_breadstixMan | 33 | American in Germany | 5'11" [score hidden] 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PB-French-Toast-9641 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Colt_MasterPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MuscletovMaroon pill man 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]washington_breadstixMan | 33 | American in Germany | 5'11" 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Present-Interest-975Blue Pill Bisexual Woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Intelligent-InsightBlue Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Present-Interest-975Blue Pill Bisexual Woman -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Present-Interest-975Blue Pill Bisexual Woman 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Sea-Roof-8135Green&White Pill W 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Present-Interest-975Blue Pill Bisexual Woman 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Axis_ControlNo Pill 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheRedPillRipperAn open mind opens doors. 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]S0yslut♀Married Purple Pill Humanist 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s possible to tell whether someone will be a good sexual partner before having sex. Traits like playfulness, attentiveness, generosity, emotional intelligence, patience, and curiosity are strong indicators of a good partner. Sex is something that improves over time through communication, learning, and experience which is why I don’t believe having multiple partners is necessary.

Forgiveness is a core value in my faith and people are not “ruined” if they don’t get everything right in the beginning but I do believe having a sense of accountability and duty to each other is something we need to return too. People should have a responsibility to be intentional about who we choose to be intimate with. Sex should never be casual because its possible consequence is a child that doesn’t deserve to be killed for our pleasure. There are biological signs such as the release of bonding chemicals being the most intense our first time that show us that act was meant to be a monogamous pair bonding moment.

[–]ASnowfallOfCherry 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Schleudergang1400Average Chad, Age Gap, Harem, Machiavellian Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Does sex affect intimacy?

Sure, sex is intimacy. Casual sex is neither good or bad per se, and people are different regarding sociosexuality (important for casual sex). Some people are negatively affected, others positively.

For my long term relationship, having casual sex on the side is overall beneficial and allows me to commit without experiencing a huge loss in sexual opportunities in the first place. For other people, casual sex does nothing or is negative and not important to be able to have healthy long term relationships. A healthy relationship to your own sexuality seems a requirement though.

We all compare ourselves and others all the time. That is human. More comparisons offer a better view of the spectrum, allow for extreme values to be relativized, allow for a more realistic judgment of individual experiences, so overall beneficial. With everything, the dose makes the poison. Overconsumption of anything has a bad effect, sex and sex partners is the same. What constitutes overconsumption is individual again.

Negative experiences impact your life, but you can exchange them or adjust what you take from that with making new, good experiences.

Having only one sexual partner probably leads to a lot of comparisons to imagined, idealized others, but also never makes one actually know how much one is missing out on with a better partner. I'll leave that question for the people who are in that situation

[–]AngeAwareBlue Pill Woman and the Prisoner of This Subreddit 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Time for my usual two cents as a virgin waiting until marriage whose parents did not.

My parents are going strong married 30+ years. I never doubted that two people don't necessarily have to be each other's firsts or anywhere close to that to be crazy in love. If anything their experiences with how dull or terrible other partners could be just made them want each other even more.

My journey is a lot different from theirs, but I still feel a bond with my SO similar to what my parents have. I can only compare kisses, and his are definitely the best. I taught him myself and he caught on quickly. We had games where I would just drag him somewhere private when we were out and about and start kissing him like mad. It's a very efficient way to get a guy up to speed, no time to overthink. And it's like...wow. I'm where his experience with this sort of thing begins and ends. And once we start having sex, it'll be that way for me too. There's just something so special and intimate about that to me. It's not the only way to find happiness and delight in your partner, but it's the path that works for us.

[–]TheRedPillRipperAn open mind opens doors. 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]AngeAwareBlue Pill Woman and the Prisoner of This Subreddit 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Corbast7Feminist + Leftist Woman / no war but class war 9 points10 points11 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]nefnafautistic sex savant (Man) 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Corbast7Feminist + Leftist Woman / no war but class war 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheRedPillRipperAn open mind opens doors. 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Corbast7Feminist + Leftist Woman / no war but class war 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Anti_ThingChristpilled Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Corbast7Feminist + Leftist Woman / no war but class war 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]FichekNo Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheRedPillRipperAn open mind opens doors. 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheRedPillRipperAn open mind opens doors. 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]TheRedPillRipperAn open mind opens doors. 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GoonerlouieBlue Pill Man | Proud Normie | Married to HS Sweetheart 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]PopeoathRed Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]b0f0s0fNo Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ta06012022Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]b0f0s0fNo Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]YldutsRed Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (61 children) | Copy Link

[–]b0f0s0fNo Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]salphonPurple Pill Man 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (27 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]WhiteLotusGauntletPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]WhiteLotusGauntletPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DietTyronePurple Pill Man (Red Leaning) 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]DietTyronePurple Pill Man (Red Leaning) 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]FichekNo Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]attendquoiwoman....pills are dumb 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]DietTyronePurple Pill Man (Red Leaning) 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]salphonPurple Pill Man -2 points-1 points0 points 1 year ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]ASnowfallOfCherry 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]MuscletovMaroon pill man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]MongoBobalossus 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]FichekNo Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]MongoBobalossus 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]FichekNo Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]esdebahBlue Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]esdebahBlue Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]salphonPurple Pill Man -4 points-3 points-2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ASnowfallOfCherry 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]YldutsRed Pill Man 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]ASnowfallOfCherry 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]MuscletovMaroon pill man 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]YldutsRed Pill Man 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]YldutsRed Pill Man 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Institute for Family Studies (2019): A survey of 1,001 U.S. adults found that married individuals with five or more lifetime sexual partners had a 21% infidelity rate in their current marriage, nearly double the 11% rate for those with four or fewer partners. The study suggests that behaviors practiced early in sexual history may predispose individuals to infidelity.

Journal of Marriage and Family (2018): Research using data from the National Survey of Family Growth showed that men with more premarital sexual partners were more likely to engage in extramarital affairs, indicating a correlation between premarital sexual permissiveness and infidelity.

Journal of Family Issues (2023): A study using the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health found that individuals with nine or more premarital sexual partners had the highest divorce risk, often linked to infidelity, suggesting that extensive sexual histories may undermine marital stability.

PubMed Study (2011): This study of 918 heterosexual individuals found that personality traits like high sexual excitation and low relationship satisfaction, often associated with having multiple partners, predicted infidelity. For women, low sexual compatibility also increased infidelity risk.

X posts echo these findings, with users citing studies linking premarital sexual permissiveness to higher infidelity rates, though some emphasize that correlation doesn’t imply causation.

I know you don’t want to believe it’s true but it is. You honestly think men are going to believe you over data?

😂😂😂😂

[–]MongoBobalossus 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]YldutsRed Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]YldutsRed Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]YldutsRed Pill Man 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]No_Self_2165Red Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 3 points4 points5 points 1 year ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]No_Self_2165Red Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point 1 year ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 4 points5 points6 points 1 year ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]No_Self_2165Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]No_Self_2165Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThatBitchAPromiscuous Woman 2 points3 points4 points 1 year ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]No_Self_2165Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]MongoBobalossus 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]No_Self_2165Red Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	8
Comments	486
Date	June 21, 2025 4:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lgzwws/n_counts_weekly_discussion_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/n-counts-weekly-discussion-thread.1555201 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555201

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