Q4A, on preselection by men: Where exactly can a 25+yo man find a 25+yo woman who is both of a good character AND single?

Safinated · 2023-11-18T20:22:33+00:00

Everywhere.

They’re just not interested in, sufficiently attractive, or visible to you.

Also, they’re probably progressive/liberal, and a minority of 25 year old women

grillopie · 2023-11-18T23:26:31+00:00

go wherever there are single people. 25 isnt that old. even amazing people have failed relationships. even if good people tend to get taken earlier, it doesnt mean they all do. youre not exactly picking using a random number generator. use your own brain to figure out if someone has good character. you should easily be able to swing the likelihood of finding a good person in your favor beyond just a general population.

dishonouronmycow · 2023-11-18T20:48:30+00:00

Why do you think that the only reason someone can be a virgin is due to lack of options? I could have sex tomorrow but I see it as the most intimate thing two people can do together. At 26 I’ve accepted that this may mean I stay a virgin forever 🤷🏼‍♀️

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-11-18T23:00:41+00:00

I love how you’re only judging women when their relationships come to an end but not mentioning the men whose relationships also ended. 🙄

Look, it’s totally normal for young people to have more than one relationship. Most people don’t settle down and marry the first person they date. It takes time and trial and error to find the person you’re most compatible with. This isn’t a character flaw or whatever you’re trying to suggest.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2023-11-18T20:25:02+00:00

they don't want to get married. they are choosing to be single for a host of health, financial, etc. reasons.

also- this idea of an "irredeemable flaw" is flawed in itself. For example, if you are an atheist and you meet a perfect woman but she is a Christian, you may break up because you cannot agree on that. To you, that is an "irredeemable flaw" but to another Christian man, she may be ideal.

Very few people are so far gone as to have an "irredeemable flaw" that carries across all scenarios. Your choice to assume the reason a previous relationship ended would necessarily preclude your happiness with that woman, is based upon faulty logic and may be preventing you from good options.

AceOfSpadesGymBro2 · 2023-11-18T20:11:29+00:00

You can pose those exact questions to yourself or any guy. If a guy is chronically single and hasn't held hands with a woman in 5 years, perhaps something is wrong with him if nobody wants him. So why should anybody want him? Yet he wants the 25 year old virgin with a great career and character (which is a figment of his imagination).

Yes, quality people get snatched up all the time. They also get divorces, breakup, play the field, cheat, etc. I don't know where you live and what you want, so I can't advise you where to find this unicorn you are looking for. There is one thing I do know for a fact. Every other person on earth has a vagina. It's literally the most abundant resource on earth.

blebbyroo · 2023-11-18T20:31:09+00:00

Dude saying a failed relationship means a woman is choosing poorly is very sexist. Relationships don’t need to always work out, and you can have two good people who aren’t compatible. Relationships are a way for you to learn what you like so that when you do want to marry (or do want lifelong commitment) that you know you are giving your relationship the best cha car of lasting since you know your relationship will be good for the length of time that is human lives

Financial_Leave4411 · 2023-11-18T21:40:21+00:00

There are also women who are virgins at 25+ because they don’t want to hook up with some rando; they want their first time and any time after to actually mean something.

Also the best place to meet women 25+ is through friends and family. Our society lacks decent third spaces. For example clubs and bars are full of drunk people acting slutty, gyms and grocery stores are off limits because people go there to get something accomplished and work is a bad idea since if a romance goes wrong at best it’s awkward and at worst you lose your job; no potential relationship is worth that level of risk. As for OLD it’s incredibly rare for anyone male or female to have a positive experience so why waste your time? Thus being matched by friends and family is all that’s left.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-11-18T21:34:30+00:00

They are in religious or conservative cultures outside of western society.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-11-19T12:36:08+00:00

“Why has no one decided to have sex with her?”

You can’t fathom that she might be the one choosing to remain a virgin?

This whole thing reads like rage bait

AFuzzyMuffin · 2023-11-18T20:12:14+00:00

College/library/bookstore

Find a nerdy woman its the easiest shot u got

Freethinker312 · 2023-11-18T20:33:18+00:00

Where could a 25+ year old virgin woman without relationship experience find a 25+ year old man who is virgin because he wants to wait for the right one, and who hasn't initiated a breakup and hasn't chosen poorly and wasn't abandoned by a good woman in the past? Where could she find a man who doesn't watch porn, and isn't bitter or angry on women because he is still virgin at 25+, and who is willing to wait with sex until marriage, or at least until they are sure they want to stay together for life? Where should she look?

(I'm not saying they don't exist, just asking where she should look to find such a man.)

jesustan1989 · 2023-11-18T23:01:07+00:00

They are everywhere. If you are a man with good character you will attract women with good character. As a matter of fact, You will only see women with good character. If you consistently only see women with bad character, that just means the world is a mirror reflecting back at you.

richard_golbes · 2023-11-18T20:43:43+00:00

Why “25+”? Ideally you should start earlier than that.

Also the idea that a breakup before then means character flaws is ridiculous. Things like career and graduate school often cause irreconcilable geographical challenges around that age.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2023-11-18T21:10:10+00:00

I love how if she’s been in a relationship that ended it’s because she chose badly or has some irredeemable personality flaw. My first relationship (2years) ended cuz we graduated high school, I was going to college on the east coast & he was going to college on the west coast, and our families both moved elsewhere after high school ended.

My 2nd relationship (3 years) ended cuz we graduated college, he wanted to move back home to New York and I got a job in California.

My 3rd (2 years) ended cuz I wasn’t ready for marriage and he was.

My 4th (2 years) ended cuz I got into med school on the east coast and he didn’t want to leave the bay area where all his friends and family were.

All 4 of these guys were great guys. I didn’t choose badly. We just weren’t in the same place when it came time to decide what was next.

infps · 2023-11-19T19:49:08+00:00

25?! This isn't even slightly old. Grad School, Church, Social groups like the SCA, LARP groups, Yoga, Clubs, or just a freakin' Bookstore.

Most of the above also work at 30 or 40, too.

Or, reading between the lines, are you specifically looking for conservative leaning women? Then your place is church and sorry but you're going to be in a large group fighting for a small group of women.

IF you'd ever like to switch sides over to the Libleft team, I assure you that the waters are warm here.

Sophiatab · 2023-11-20T16:51:32+00:00

There are plenty of religious women over the age of 25 who are virgins. But they are not going to hook-up with you. They want to marry men who are as committed to their faith (whatever it is) as they are.

Zabadoodude · 2023-11-18T20:32:27+00:00

By the mid 20's men barely outnumber women. It's a difference of a fraction of a percent and won't have any meaningful effect on the dating scene.

You are right that chronically single womem tend to either have no interest in being in a relationship, have unrealistically high standards, or have some negative traits that make men avoid them. This makes searching for the occasional good woman that happens to be single difficult. The good news, for single men, is that this all also applies to their competition: The desirable, relationship oriented men get snapped up quickly, so most of the dating pool is creeps, autists, and guys "looking for a good time not a long time".

David-Metty · 2023-11-18T20:53:11+00:00

Not from the USA. 50% of single women have an incurable STD (HPV usually). You now live in a society in where HPV is the leading cause of throat cancer, beating even lifetime heavy smoking (which is probably the most disgraceful thing one can learn).

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SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-11-18T20:29:06+00:00

Define good character?

AethertheEternal · 2023-11-19T02:41:15+00:00

Deeply religious communities. Ex: Amish, mennonites, mormons, (hijab wearing) Muslim and to a lesser extent orthodox Christian churches.

subzero5556 · 2023-11-19T04:29:16+00:00

The trick is a little age gap if i agree with all your premises, unless you absolutely require 25+ yrs old

kendrac83 · 2023-11-19T05:04:03+00:00

Try Christian dating sites-there are many for different denominations.

I met my husband on Catholic Match.

bifewova234 · 2023-11-19T09:25:37+00:00

Divorce court

mods_have_small_ween · 2023-11-21T20:15:24+00:00

Find your ugly duckling. Best advice I ever heard. You are at a prime age to find women who are insecure about their attractiveness and have not yet had their glow up. Many girls end up this way out of high school just for not being popular.

TidyMess123 · 2023-11-23T04:55:04+00:00

Engage with your community, do some volunteer work, go to community events and markets.

Title	Q4A, on preselection by men: Where exactly can a 25+yo man find a 25+yo woman who is both of a good character AND single?
Author	abaxeron
Upvotes	9
Comments	103
Date	November 18, 2023 8:04 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17yepdo/q4a_on_preselection_by_men_where_exactly_can_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4a-on-preselection-by-men-where-exactly-can-a.1238797 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238797

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