Q4W: What do you think about this mindset?

Initial_Chemical7121 · 2022-03-26T06:12:48+00:00

Me and my fiancé were the same way. It’s fine if you’re also a virgin, not great if it’s a fetish. Each to their own though

primusinterpares1 · 2022-03-26T05:57:57+00:00

What would you think about him?

I'd think that he has a right to his preferences, he just might find it a tad difficult to get someone that meets them

YouAskedIt · 2022-03-26T15:03:24+00:00

There is nothing wrong with seeking a partner that has the same level of experience, but understand that most virgins aren't going to want sex with you either unless there's some reason they can't find a partner themselves. The girls that are virgins by choice are probably waiting for someone they really connect with are going to most likely still want to wait for several months. They aren't going to want you seeing anyone else during that time and you may waste years dating and still not having sex. Are you okay with that?

Bekiala · 2022-03-26T05:58:04+00:00

I would wish him the best. People want what they want.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-03-26T15:36:44+00:00

i think it makes sense, people have their preferences, just might be harder to find. especially the older he gets.

Willow-girl · 2022-03-26T16:19:02+00:00

I would think that he needs to act quickly, as most people lose their virginity by the time they're in their early 20s.

Vyrnoa · 2022-03-26T06:47:52+00:00

I dont know? Thats not my business. Would probably make sense if hes under lets say 28. But after that, the request might be very difficult to achieve.

Its okay to want a partner with the same level of experience as you. As long as you dont talk shit about other people that arent like you.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-03-26T14:18:20+00:00

I would hope he can meet the woman he is looking for.

sarkington · 2022-03-26T14:44:25+00:00

I feel there are ways to communicate this that are better than “no dirty shallow sluts”, which is how it is usually expressed

And also he will have less sympathy if he complains about how hard it is to find a member of a small minority

Smitten_Squire · 2022-03-26T16:37:15+00:00

That would be a rising population of men today

DXBrigade · 2022-03-26T23:06:16+00:00

I don't see the problem with it. My issue is when people set standards that they themselves don't meet.

2022-03-26T07:07:24+00:00

I don't think of him I suppose. I wouldn't care at all. Has no bearing on my life whatsoever. He may have some trouble getting a girl tho, but that's on him.

-ShesACarnival- · 2022-03-26T16:59:09+00:00

i dont care about him and wish him good luck. he is not in my SMP or RMP and i would not want anything to do with him. he does not exist to me. this is an asexual juiceless lustless no fun man, completely abnormal. in half a century of life i never heard of a man like this til reddit

i will say that this mentally ill marriage of "Wanting a virgin" and NOT being religious is a fools errand

extrachromie-homie · 2022-03-27T04:13:46+00:00

Nothing wrong with that. Nothing weird about it either. I bet that’s very common.

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-03-26T08:15:50+00:00

I think any man has a right to any preference they want.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-03-26T12:16:22+00:00

Cool, I get that. I felt the same, as did the guy I lost it to. It'd only be weird or bad if he was very vocal about it or shamed those who didn't fit his preference.

PurpleKittensRock · 2022-03-26T13:03:34+00:00

Nothing wrong with his preference.

TheMedsPeds · 2022-03-26T16:03:44+00:00

I have 0 issue with it. But at some point he might start to get bitter if he finds himself knocking on 30’s door and he still hasn’t found his virgin yet. And if he is bitter and starts acting like the cliche incel, my sympathy for him is very slim. There were standards I had for men when I was younger that I realized I’d have to abandon if I expected to have a real relationship at some point. I also thought I’d go to school all the way to become a forensic psychologist (I ended up just getting my BA) you get older and sometimes you have to compromise on life. People who refuse to let go of some things can be a bit delusional depending on the situation.

Hereforthememes5 · 2022-03-26T16:47:17+00:00

I would think that he’s kind of a coward. If his intent is only to gain experience, and not be with a woman in a committed relationship. Then it’s better that he practices on someone who’s already had multiple partners and won’t take him seriously. For a virgin the whole process can be too traumatic, unless she has exact same desire as you, to just get it out of the way, and not saving it for marriage. Otherwise, using a virgin just because you’re too scared to face someone with experience; that’s just cowardice and insecurity.

Panda-997 · 2022-03-26T20:29:46+00:00

If he doesn't treat experienced people as damaged goods then he is free to have any preference as long as it's legal.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-03-26T20:52:51+00:00

The problem is not the mindset but that you are asking me to think about it.

Intelligent_Fan3132 · 2022-03-27T08:37:27+00:00

I don't think anything about him whatsoever.

Scarypaperplates · 2022-04-04T04:22:46+00:00

Personally I would think hes perfect because this is exactly what im looking for.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-03-26T06:39:50+00:00

It's ok. I don't see any moral problem of a virgin wanting another virgin.

I see a moral problem when a high n count person wants/demands a virgin.

TRDF3RG · 2022-03-26T06:41:17+00:00

Depending on his age, I'd say he has unrealistic expectations. I understand the desire to date someone at your same experience level, though. Good luck to him!

Cupcakelover1985 · 2022-03-26T08:58:50+00:00

That it’s his business and that’s his personal preference that he’s free to have.

houstongradengineer · 2022-03-26T12:34:16+00:00

I was like this, too, once upon a time. I think this is a great thing. Casual sex is way way too prevalent in hookup culture today. Stick with people who match you. A difference of one or two partners and relationships may not make or break anything, but being matched close enough in attitudes and wisdom makes for a couple that can grow together harmoniously IMHO.

RealNiceLady · 2022-03-26T16:04:34+00:00

I think he seems reasonable

Novadina · 2022-03-26T06:48:18+00:00

I would think he was strange, because it’s a strange requirement to want someone having the exact amount of experience. And he wants all her experiences to be the same? Like that she’s kissed the same number of people as he has, held the same number of hands? Had the same number of crushes?

So I’d think he was odd, and that he’d be pretty unlikely to find someone with such specific requirements. But I would care about it in any way, he can want whatever he wants (even if it’s essentially just wanting to be alone and not willing to admit it or something).

poppy_blu · 2022-03-26T12:18:16+00:00

I’m unclear what you’re asking us to comment on here.

He’s a virgin. He wants to date a virgin.

Am I missing something?

hdksndiisn · 2022-03-26T08:11:50+00:00

Depending on his age I’d tell him “Good luck,” and mean it sarcastically or not.

y2kjanelle · 2022-03-26T16:54:25+00:00

He’s just looking for sexual and romantic compatibility. There’s nothing wrong with that. But he doesn’t have the right to judge anyone who’s not his preference.

Pola_Lita · 2022-03-26T09:01:00+00:00

He does not have a virgin fetish, he is not religious, he is not a misogynist, he just wants to date someone as inexperienced as himself.

I think he's being silly but people have been a lot sillier over more important things.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-03-26T14:30:47+00:00

Frankly, this type of guy is far more respectable than a man slut who demands a woman with a body count lower than his.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-03-26T15:46:33+00:00

I don't think you can want this and not have internalized misogyny and a deep insecurity. Because there's no other logical reason to want to only sleep with another virgin.

briiiana1122 · 2022-03-26T14:27:52+00:00

It depends on age I guess. My first was also a virgin but I was a teenager so it wasn’t a point of conversation beyond us laughing about how we had no idea what we were doing.

If when i was dating in my 20s I came across someone specifically looking for a virgin I’d have assumed religious, conservative (in the “traditional family values” code type), trying to get married right away, and other things that would be pretty big red flags to me.

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IcarusKiki · 2022-03-26T17:38:37+00:00

Go for it but he might be annoyed when the only women who are virgins at a certain age arent very interested in sex

Oli_love90 · 2022-03-27T20:52:18+00:00

I don’t understand the overall point here?

So you’re just looking for an inexperienced, virgin? If you found an experience person whose had sex you wouldn’t want to date them? What age range are you looking in? Why does lack of experience matter in this case?

I figure you’re young because this is a scenario that means nothing in the scheme of life.

ruboyuri · 2022-03-28T23:57:53+00:00

It’s fine

Title	Q4W: What do you think about this mindset?
Author	FlamingCoochies
Upvotes	22
Comments	164
Date	March 26, 2022 5:51 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/toi28o/q4w_what_do_you_think_about_this_mindset/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-what-do-you-think-about-this-mindset.1108506 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108506

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