Should we bring back the blind date?

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-07-22T01:52:02+00:00

You would have to trust your friends not to set you up with someone you found unattractive. Not sure how well that would work with how superficial people are nowadays.

sexualdeskfan · 2023-07-22T02:29:05+00:00

They haven’t really gone anywhere, my wife tried to set up one of my friends with a girl she worked with like a year ago. They are just less common because people would rather use OLD than get set up on a blind date, not sure how anyone can bring something back that people don’t really want to do.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-07-22T01:47:38+00:00

A friend or family recommends a person

This is using one’s networks. It’s how I met my wife. It’s also the the most efficient first step, to vetting. As people who’s in the circles you socialise in, have already passed a cursory level of scrutiny.

Godspeed and good luck!

chalkandapples · 2023-07-22T05:03:56+00:00

That's more having friends / family introduce you rather than a blind date. My parents were set up like this, and my grandma / parents tried to set me up with dates too.

Overall I think it works well for introverted people trying to find other introverted people. You usually get to see a picture, know their family history etc. The funny thing is you usually know 10X more about their parents/family than them before you meet them. At least in cases where your family sets you up.

There can be some pressure of you giving it more of a chance than you would otherwise, since both families are looking at this date hoping for something to happen. But the good part is if you are going to say no, you can usually tell your parents to relay the message rather than saying it to them directly, which is less awkward and good for introverted people. Also depending on how nosey your friends / family are, they can give you some information about them that might take a while for you to find out. For example, my grandma was going to introduce me to this guy, but before she did, she asked my aunt to hang out with his family to scout him out a bit, and she noticed that after a bad snowstorm, his mom was outside shoveling the snow instead of him, and they didn't like that so they didn't go ahead with the introduction.

I think it's a very specific type of strategy, and works better for some personalities than others. It's worth adding it to your mix of dating strategies if you have family / friends willing to do that.

Busy_Ant_8160 · 2023-07-22T02:51:49+00:00

I'm naturally suspicious of them to the point I would probably make up an excuse not to go if offered.

I've read too many horror stories of guys being set up on dates with women that were single for... let's just say, very obvious reasons.

MysterySolverDog · 2023-07-22T02:41:46+00:00

Genuinely a major concern I have with blind dates is that I dress up, agree to pay for the restaurant in advance, and then show up to find my blind date is disgustingly obese. With people's attitudes to "body positivity" this isn't too far fetched either.

I think an issue for women is that they have dating apps and like being picky (which means doing the picking), and for men the concern is that the women who want blind dates are probably quite unattractive.

ashpr0ulx · 2023-07-22T01:56:04+00:00

i’ve had a couple blind dates, albeit i’m 10+ years older than you. while none of them worked out for me, they were usually a better natural fit than most people i’d find off apps. to some extent. i did meet my current partner off tinder so idk

i think it’s worth trying and makes sense. i’ve set a fair amount of couples up, but less on a proper blind date and more in a group setting. i’ve got two marriages i helped happen under my belt!

LeeroyX · 2023-07-22T01:54:56+00:00

Great idea.

I don’t see a downside? I’m assuming if you don’t want to go, you can just politely decline?

63daddy · 2023-07-22T02:46:51+00:00

It depends in how you define “blind date”. I think people today meet (date) people they’ve never met in person before much more often than 50 years ago. Of course many people communicate online in a way not possible 50 years ago, so again it all depends on what you mean by “blind date”.

microwavecancer · 2023-07-22T02:57:59+00:00

I guess I'll be the only one who criticizes your suggestion, but this is just my two cents. Blind dating is not necessarily a bad idea... If you are not bringing much to the table.

How many attractive people do you think will welcome the idea of a blind date? How many financially stable people will agree to this? Changes like these have to be instituted from top down, not from bottom up. We sort of have to invite people who are most sought after to implement this in their dating lives first if you want blind dating to be an established part of western culture, otherwise blind dating will always have negative associations - before you know it this will become a meme and something to avoid.

Desirable people in the West have a certain degree of freedom that they are not willing to give up - and fair enough. A 8/10 girl has tinder and birth control, and you are sort of asking her to partake in your experiment with little potential benefits, while giving up the certainty of obtaining a partner that she likes.

caption291 · 2023-07-22T03:25:29+00:00

I feel like this will alleviate some of the issues created by dating apps.

Dating apps don't create the problem. They just reveal what's already there.

While I agree with you that blind dates would be a good thing, I don't think it would be possible to really get them going as a serious solution to the problem because there just wouldn't be enough social pressure to force people to respect the rules of that game when extremely toxic statements like "You're not entitled to anything" are praised instead of laughed at.

DoinIt989 · 2023-07-22T11:57:30+00:00

Whatever South Korea is doing is a terrible solution to dating culture....South Korea has the lowest fertility rate on the planet, less than 0.8 children per woman.

I feel like this will alleviate some of the issues created by dating apps. Presumably, your friends and family members would know the type of person you are looking for

My family does not know anyone with a daughter who is the type I'm looking for.

Nihi1986 · 2023-07-22T12:08:57+00:00

It's something that usually happens naturally, you meet those friends of friends in a social event, something like a birthday party for example.

I think it's a good idea, the problem I see with a truly blind date is that it would feel uncomfortable if called a date since the beginning, and there's a huge chance your friend sets unrealistically low standards for one of them. It's like 'hey you are lonely and my friend Emma is lonely too, you'd probably get on well!' , then she's 3 times bigger than him and he's an asshole...

In that sense, something like a dating app would prevent this situation. A picture to know if you find her physically attractive and a chat to know if he's mentally 11yo in a 35yo body. Dunno if this is too shallow but we know how attraction works...

Anyway, as I said, not necessarily a bad idea, it could work. I guess the real advantage here is that you get plenty of information from a common friend so you at least can feel safe about it, unlike apps.

2023-07-22T18:15:28+00:00

I went on a blind date one time, and I learned my lesson. It's always going to be their fat friend with a "great personality" that they can't pawn off on anyone else, so they try to trick you into it.

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Healthy-Comparison77 · 2023-07-22T01:47:59+00:00

I wonder how many "blind dates" in Korea the photos are shared with the women first and it's actually just the guy has no idea what she looks like.

I just can't imagine women with as flaky as they are even with a guy they're attracted to showing up to a blind date.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2023-07-22T03:25:42+00:00

No too many people are obese now.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-07-22T03:41:27+00:00

I think friends suggesting is a good thing…sadly a lot of women will set up guy friends with not so attractive women because they are sooooo amazing or whatever…but you can’t negotiate desire

No-Regular1667 · 2023-07-22T03:55:11+00:00

It’s a good idea in principle. However, blind dates always run the risk of being extremely awkward and uncomfortable. If either the guy or girl shows up and doesn’t find the other person attractive on the spot, then the rest of the date is super awkward and uncomfortable for both.

It’s interesting you mention South Korea. I like to watch K-dramas and they commonly portray scenes involving blind dates, probably because blind dates are just more common in Korea. I'm reminded of that one scene in Extraordinary Attorney Woo where Suyeon goes on the blind date that ends up being extremely awkward.

Highflyer47 · 2023-07-22T04:00:42+00:00

Feels like a disaster waiting to happen😅

SpreadDemLegsHo · 2023-07-22T06:02:22+00:00

Nah, that would just give cover to a lot of heifers.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-07-22T07:13:16+00:00

Considering how shallow women are nowadays, hell no. Guys would be happy with almost any woman as long as she is not obese, but women? Pfffff.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-07-22T11:45:19+00:00

I dunno,blind dates seem quite desperate to me, like dating apps.

Instead of letting attraction happen organically ("i met this guy/girl in this place,i feel i like him/her"),it kinda feels you go out to buy a boyfriend/girlfriend in the way you go out to get a car lmao. Dating apps do that too,and that's why they suck.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-07-22T12:37:21+00:00

It doesn’t necessarily have to be blind, but yes I do think we should bring back many forms of non-online dating. Having friends and family introduce you is a great way. My partner and I recently got two of our friends together this way… neither had dated in a long time, and they are very happy.

Pathosgrim · 2023-07-22T12:37:53+00:00

Blind dating in this materialistic age lol. People are so materialistic that the sight of non-apple cell phone gives ick 🤣

throwaway164_3 · 2023-07-22T13:10:07+00:00

Nope, because nobody wants to date someone they find physically unattractive.

Looks are really important

1Here4Bach · 2023-07-22T13:57:45+00:00

I’ve been on 2 blind dates set up by friends. Neither of them was unattractive or overtly awkward and both of them were very much my type physically. “Blind date” doesn’t give below average males an advantage. Friends are going to set up there friends with ugly males unless they secretly hate them.

BatemaninAccounting · 2023-07-22T15:04:44+00:00

Honestly no. Blind dating sucked, it always sucked, and it was literally just a desperation move. Yes sometimes you do connect with someone on a blind date, but the odds are against you and her/him.

Jazzlike-Actuary-99 · 2023-07-22T15:16:21+00:00

Maybe matchmaking should have a renassaince. At least it seems like arranged marriages at least as happy as un-arranged marriages (although the studies are inconclusive). I am not advocating for arranged marriages, but maybe something could be gleaned from their high success rate (only 4 % end i divorce).

redkoicarp · 2023-07-22T15:26:08+00:00

I would absolutely prefer some sort of "blind date" approach to "normal" dating apps (who are absolutely off-putting and frightening to me as of now, but desperations creates actions and all that so who knows for how long).

The "social vetting" aspect - as in, having someone vouch for that guy that he is alright and all - is something that is very valuable. Of course, there needs to be at least some level of attraction, but many women (myself included) have a very emotionally flexible way of feeling attracted to a person (means, apart from the baseline, a person can become more attractive with the right personality).

I've been on one date in my life that could have been called a blind date, I think... Was definitely interesting, but I probably wouldn't do it again this "radically", I'll have to say. Also I was ridiculed on reddit by some users for it:( (whereas my fiends found it quite hilarious).

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-07-22T15:41:23+00:00

Not blind dates per se, but friend groups should definitely branch out more, include more people and try to mix it up a little.

NJFlowerchild · 2023-07-22T16:51:21+00:00

I don't think setting people up has ever gone away.

tonyghow · 2023-07-23T02:29:52+00:00

Blind dates may be a double whammy. You find the date unattractive and you may damage the relationship with the friend that set you up for them not knowing what you would like.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-07-23T05:13:05+00:00

I think having mating more actively mediated (but not totally controlled) by friends and family is a great thing in and of itself. But everything is connected. In a culture that is so much about individual freedom, where family and community are so much weaker, I'm not sure you can really just change one thing like bringing family and friends back into the mating decision making process.

Anti_Thing · 2023-07-23T05:40:35+00:00

I have few opportunities to meet compatible women, so I'm very much open to getting set up.

neugalant · 2023-07-23T20:26:37+00:00

your family setting you up with a date isnt the classic "blind date".

regarding actual blind dates: i think its a stupid idea. physical attraction is very important and blind dates is just playing lotto. its time-inefficient. the only other reason you might want a blind date is because you have something "to hide". ie, a man who is bald, a woman who is fat.

regarding family setting you up: i think its a little bit outdated and probably wont work nowadays. involving the family is actually quite mandatory (for the woman), but not as a matchmaker. this is from a time where families wanted to grow influence and resources, what the involving parties wanted was irrelevant.

Razieloo · 2023-07-24T15:25:36+00:00

I kind of like this concept, though you’d need someone to set you up first, obviously

crujones33 · 2023-08-06T05:18:39+00:00

I think it definitely should be brought back. Only one of my friends over the past 30 years has set me up on a blind date. I don’t k ow if that speaks poorly of them or of me (that I’m not worth setting up). Although it has been said by some female friends over the years that they don’t have many female friends themselves. Although one friend’s wife setup her boss and our friend and they’re married 20ish years.

Title	Should we bring back the blind date?
Author	hannahg000
Upvotes	20
Comments	96
Date	July 22, 2023 1:36 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1566k83/should_we_bring_back_the_blind_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/should-we-bring-back-the-blind-date.1226045 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226045

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