What constitutes healthy femininity?

aretourner · 2019-01-18T15:26:19+00:00

Once more I will blaspheme in the church of purple/red and say that I believe many of the components of healthy femininity are the same (gasp) as those of healthy masculinity. Someone's going to ask me for an example so I'll say 'honesty.' Healthy character in both sexes involves this trait.

There are traits and ways of being that are specific to my own conception of a healthy femininity, though. And there's one big one whcih I'll get into at the end of the post.

Sexuality. I believe that healthy feminine sexuality is different in character to healthy male sexuality. I would worry about and caution any young girl who seemed to derive a significant portion of her self esteem from her looks or her ability to attract male sexual desire, for example. Although that's not awesome for either gender, i think it's specifically harmful to women.

Healthy femininity doesn't play stupid, imo. That doesn't mean it's aggressive or masculine, either. But it isn't that trait you sometimes see in women over 18 who fail at girling whereby they seem to believe that simpering and giggling at anything with a dick = feminine. No. That's amateur hour.

I could list more but am getting le tired.

But the big one, which I have often thought of bringing up here and then been too lazy to do so (because it would take a lot of thinking and thinking is hard on my laydee brain you guys), and which I see as the cognate to my claimed 'most important masculine trait in terms of attractiveness' (magnanimity) is ... grace.

Grace. That is the feminine trait, imo. Just as magnanimity is the masculine trait.

I don't mean physical grace (although that does read as feminine). I mean emotional and psychological grace. Grace as a character trait. Decency, gentleness, kindness, a certain kind of poise, a lack of showiness or overt pride.

Curious to know if anyone agrees, actually.

Edit: Thank you man/laydee, it's my first Reddit silver. <3

faissaloo · 2019-01-19T10:48:53+00:00

Being my biggest fan.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-01-18T15:01:35+00:00

Giving free and limitless blowjobs.

Just kidding. Being supportive is generally all we need. We want to know that you’re with us every step of the way. Just as women fear being abandoned by the person they love, men do too.

Comfort us. Support us. Help us when we need it. We’ll do the same for you, but in our own way.

GradualDecomp · 2019-01-18T18:00:08+00:00

Being nice without being a doormat.

It's a delicate balance

IAmAnUglyMale · 2019-01-18T20:53:59+00:00

These answers weird me out, I don't consider healthy masculinity to be exactly what women want, but these answers are literally fucking gives blowjobs and submits to everything I want.

Kinda wack

[deleted] · 2019-01-20T15:24:18+00:00

Being a proactive communicator.

VAOTOMARNOCU · 2019-01-18T15:31:37+00:00

I hate the idea of describing certain traits or behaviors as "masculinity/femininity" because it's too imprecise. E.g. nurturing is a trait traditionally associated with the feminine, but what about masculine men who are nurturing (they do exist)? Feminine women who are analytical?

When I read "healthy femininity" I just think of a woman with healthy traits and habits, a woman who doesn't do any harm to others or herself

KrispyMcSockington · 2019-01-18T15:33:27+00:00

Niceness/agreeableness. Ditch her if she's a bitch. Friendly, smiling, happy women are far more feminine than grumpy, difficult women who enjoy power struggles and treat people (like service staff) like dirt.

Physical appearance. This isn't just about looks, but can she dress well? Does she know how to dress in a way that complements her body? What about her posture and overall demeanour?

Her body. Yes, it's important. For me it's her curves. A curvy woman with a bit of extra weight gets extra points. There is, however, a tipping point.

A feminine woman is soft, comforting, supportive, likes girly things and is nurturing. You're not a terrible person for noticing the things that make women women, OP.

sadomasochrist · 2019-01-18T14:52:03+00:00

Future time orientation that is directed towards a high functioning family and marriage (added for Atlas) with a man she can trust and surrender herself to.

An inability to conceptualize or obtain this man is a sign said woman is toxically feminine and has attitudes which will impede this goal which the female happiness paradox shows is a worthwhile pursuit for the vast majority of women.

Most of the things in those lists allow this reality to present itself.

Freethetreees · 2019-01-18T17:05:03+00:00

How is purity and chasteness feminine? Those are patriarchal ideals forced upon women to control their sexuality, not natural feminine behaviors. Natural female sexuality is not chaste, but it is very selective.

AJ272727 · 2019-01-19T00:51:37+00:00

I am enjoying the perspectives in the comments.

It gives me plenty to work on!

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[deleted] · 2019-01-18T18:59:09+00:00

where gold is not the primary motive of the relationship

Workaholico · 2019-01-18T20:45:45+00:00

The same I believe is being healthy civilized man. "to be free without interfering in the freedom of others.", "to help those in need, the closest the most urgent/important" and "to be nice to the ones that were nice to you"

aanarchist · 2019-01-20T12:08:26+00:00

All of that shit will help you keep a man attracted and loyal but has little to do with femininity.

rosacanina_ · 2019-01-18T14:46:21+00:00

Why is creativity a toxic trait? I like creative women who can decorate because I have absolutely zero talent for that kind of stuff (not zero but you know).

Offhisgame · 2019-01-18T16:45:50+00:00

Everything. Women arent toxic like men are.

goddamnADHD · 2019-01-19T10:36:27+00:00

There's two ways to answer this question, what I like about women personally (which is not much, but then again I'm a borderline misanthrope) and what positive behaviors does the female gender evince...

For the latter question, there's no doubt that women are pretty nurturing. They dominate fields like nursing, child care, teaching, etc.

Women tend to put a lot of effort into caring about others, often to a fault (when it becomes nagging/controlling). But the overall thrust of what they're trying to do is usually good, ie, making their families healthier, safer, and wealthier.

Women also put a lot of effort into maintaining social connections and networks. Buying gifts, organizing double dates and play dates and whatever... again, often to a fault, when they start bitching about how much emotional labor they have to handle (which no one asked them to do). But I digress.

gblyeti · 2019-01-18T23:37:11+00:00

Nurturing. When you step into a traditional home there is an almost enforced welfare on everyone. They'll shove amazing food into you. If you're cold or sick they'll take great care of you. The matriarchs in a house like that are almost militant in taking care of everyone. Its sad to see entire generations of modern women unable to do this. But I guess its impossible to be this kind of woman while also working on their career and having to earn money. Understandably its almost impossible to do both.

Women's very active social co-orperation. Put a large number of women strangers together and a little bit of leadership and before you know it they're all working together to exchange favours and information. Building up social connections. You almost instantly have quite a rich social fabric. Its not all positive but overall it definitely is. Put a bunch of guys together and its much harder for them to form social connections and to form social groups. Guys can spend a lot of time next to each other without connecting at all.

I think its quite sad that modern society has destroyed much of this. Many people in western societies have never experienced, even for a moment, the warmth and welcome of a traditional matriarchially run home. People from more traditional societies still live in these social structures which is why they often have much higher levels of happiness than their much richer western counterparts.

Also, social media seems to be turning women's strong tendency for co-operation into a meaningless exchange of likes and attention. The desire for co-operation is as strong as ever, but how that is done is not making anyone happy. Its as if co-operation over social media is like empty calorie foods. Its still co-operation/interaction. But it does not fill the soul and leaves you missing meaningful connection.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2019-01-19T12:25:23+00:00

Physical appearance (appealing eyes, hair, breasts, ass, legs, skin, clothing, etc.)
Sexual favors (frequent sex, surprise blowjobs, cuddling, back rubs, etc.)
Nurturing behaviors (parenting, cooking, cleaning, organizing, planning)
Aesthetics/creativity/crafting (I'd put things like designing a comfortable and visually appealing home, decorating cakes, sending out Christmas cards, quilting, and other little projects into this category - tasks at which I am horribly inept.)
Low N-count, chastity, purity

oh wow, hold your horsies! what do you have to offer? are you ready to let your emotions out in the open? are you too low n count or a virgin? are you aesthetically pleasing?

if not, you will never , ever find a girl like this and you shouldnt. she can and will do better.

Tedesche · 2019-01-18T22:49:48+00:00

I tend to like “feminine” men and “masculine” women. Manly men and girly girls are super-boring.

So, in women, I tend to appreciate the following:

A raunchy sense of humor.
A pragmatic approach to problems in their own lives.
Short haircuts.
Masculine clothing.
Independence.

That’s not to say I don’t appreciate feminine traits in women as well though. As I think most men will agree, women who like to cuddle and be the “little spoon” are a turn-on, for example.

EDIT: However, those are just (some of) my tastes in women—the question of what makes fo “healthy femininity” is just as pointless IMO as what makes for “healthy masculinity.” These are dumb concepts, and I’d really much rather they go extinct from our lexicon.

Title	What constitutes healthy femininity?
Author	bastrdsnbroknthings
Upvotes	18
Comments	170
Date	January 18, 2019 2:03 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ahaqei/what_constitutes_healthy_femininity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-constitutes-healthy-femininity.257744 https://theredarchive.com/post/257744

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