What is your ideal partner like?

growframe · 2025-10-10T21:31:23+00:00

My criteria is

-Attractive

-Fun to date

-Fun to hang out with

-Similar-ish values

-Compatible lifestyle.

I think it's worthless to get into the nitty-gritties of how an "ideal" partner would fulfill these qualities. Dating isn't build-a-bear and they can be met by far too large of a spectrum to bother with things like "feminity at it's best". I'll know if I'm happy with her when I get there.

aslfingerspell · 2025-10-10T22:48:49+00:00

I don't really make any demands of femininity. I am attracted to a wide range of styles. Even if it doesn't fit some nominal fantasy preference, I'd learn to like it the way I'd like a chair I can't adjust: awkward metaphor but take it in the best intention. Even if I didn't like her presentation at first, it could grow on me and it'd reach a point where her changing would bother me.
I've spent so much of my life achieving and focusing on other goals (financial, career, personal, fitness, etc.) that to be honest one of the last remaining things I truly feel awful about lacking is physical intimacy with someone of the opposite sex. In a sense I "just want sex", but I mean this in the sense that it's pretty much one of the last things I need to fall in place to have a satisfying life.
Hobbies are not a huge thing for me in terms of relationship goals. I don't need someone to be into the same things as me to be attracted or want to spend time, but in a fantasy world I'd like her to play boardgames or do creative writing so we could be play testers or beta readers together.

krackedy · 2025-10-10T20:40:18+00:00

I don't care too much about femininity. My wife isn't a typical girly girl. I do love how nurturing and emotionally intelligent she is though, those are important to me.

She enriches my life with her company, deep conversations, silly jokes, emotional support, sex, etc.

Shared hobbies aren't overly important but I am glad she likes outdoorsy shit like me.

I put a lot of importance on a woman being open minded too, I'm bi and I know a lot of women don't like that.

Ego73 · 2025-10-10T21:35:40+00:00

Femininity isn't really a requirement. Actually, I'd appreciate a sporty woman who'd motivate me enough to finally start hitting the gym.

To enrich my life, I think pretty much the same requirements as I have for my friends. Well, besides sex; I do place a lot of weight in mutual chemistry during sex. Other than that, I think we should have at least one hobby in common. So it's either history, tea or writing.

Mela_ninja · 2025-10-10T20:51:11+00:00

Imma just describe my girl.

Yeah she’s super attractive and has a bubbly personality. Her ability to find happiness is almost mythical to my cynical ass. She’s nurturing, and has healing presence.

One main thing is that she gives me peace. Honestly I think it’s the biggest thing. I could be having the worst day and when I come home she’s excitedly showing me a pic she took with a ladybug. All my problems seem to wash away.

She’s not a combative person so we tend to have discussions rather than fights. She listens to understand rather than waiting for her turn to respond.

She’s understands that she’s an extremely attractive lady so she knows 99.9% of men interact with her to try a bone her. She doesnt engage or hits me with the “he’s just a friend”. She’s super respectful and being together allows us to be more of ourselves.

She doesn’t have blind allegiance to the girlies but also doesn’t need male validation. We can talk about things more openly and knowledge our own bias.

One of the ways I show love is by holding myself responsible over my loved ones. She wants the same thing. So she lets me lead and is a valuable team member.

She shares the same value of monogamy as me. Which is apparently rare lol. We are only attracted to each other; we don’t do porn, strip clubs etc. but not cause there was a rule but rather not having that attraction to no one else.

Also she got a crazy ass.

Trancetastic16 · 2025-10-11T03:04:06+00:00

My difficulty with finding a partner is that I fall into several statistical minorities, to the point that every person I tell my story agrees that I’m an extreme outlier even amongst the other (primarily Autistic and/or short and/or racial minority and/or conventionally unattractive faced) males on this subreddit.

I’m average faced, average height and weight, but require someone with the Neuro-chemistry to be capable of dating an outlier such as myself since I’m Transgender, Bisexual, Autistic, disabled, Child-free, anti-marriage, Pantheist and a racial minority. Even at LGBT groups, Polyamorous people tend to be over-represented and I’m Monogamous.

As long as all that is the case, and also that they take decent care of their health and hygiene and are stable with their income (no debt/gambling/drug addiction, even if they are unemployed, homeless and/or a prostitute since it’s legal in AUS) and shelter-secure, we share political/social values on a foundational level (basic human rights/etc.), at least some hobbies (especially creative and artistic hobbies), and mutual attraction, then I’m open to dating a diverse range of people of any age, height, neurodivergence or not, accident victims, physically disabled, ethnic group, religion, nationality, the vast majority of conventionally “ugly” people, and Class 1 obese or less.

If they live far away or overseas then I’d be fine with dating them so long as their eventual goal is to visit and immigrate and move in with me at my multi-generational family’s home. I would only marry to help them attain citizenship if necessary.

I remain optimistic since I exist, so surely there is at least one other adult in Australia who I would be a match with but it is statistically very unlikely that I would meet such a person in my or any local area.

JMoon33 · 2025-10-11T00:37:41+00:00

She's healthy and happy and fit, she's rich so we don't need to work, she loves me, she loves cats and dogs, she gets along with my friends and have friends I get along with, she likes to be active as much as to stay in, she has the same sex kinks as me and a healthy libido, not sure what else to add.

KayRay1994 · 2025-10-11T00:48:56+00:00

Def someone more extroverted than I am, and someone who has a rebellious fire. Introspective, artistic, smart and preferably someone a little mean who also has a heart of gold. I’d also love for them to be spontaneous, sassy, is willing to dig deep into topics, is adventurous, loves live music and someone who loves nature, hiking and animals. I’m bi, so all of this is gender non specific

domdomdom333 · 2025-10-11T21:38:54+00:00

Someone who's self aware.

Someone who forgives and isn't judgemental in a way to expect perfection, we're all clumsy and doing most things for the first time in our lives, like living life itself. The best people I've met are who can laugh in the moment saying "awkward" and continue enjoying company.

Self care, both mentally from the first point to health and carer prospects in general. Being aware of addictions is a big one. Healthy also means fit which means we both have energy to go on trips, do things and have good sex, both cause we have the stamina and look sexy for each other's desires.

Hard working, self explanatory. Don't even need to be successful, good people fail but the want to do the best goes a long way.

For nr. 3, currently in a mood to travel, specifically nature hikes.

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-10-12T09:01:23+00:00

My girlfriend:

Attractive
Genuinely kind, not just performatively to pat herself on the back
Relliable
Supportive, she comforted me even while I was literally shaking on the ground from nerve pain.
Great sex and open to try out new things
Patient
Great work ethic
True to herself

Ngl if she ever broke up with me, I'd never date anyone else again seriously. I doubt anyone could top her as a partner and I feel very fortunate to have found someone like her.

AutoModerator · 2025-10-10T20:30:28+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-10-11T09:53:36+00:00

I don't have one. I much prefer my peace and quiet! 🙏

PoeticMoose619 · 2025-10-11T18:51:42+00:00

Not red pill, but since you've opened up the question to all men, I'll contribute if I may.

I''m not too sure about femininity, to be honest. I'm not too big on traditional gender roles. Do you mean in appearance and style? Demeanor? Hobbies?
Aside from consistent and/or frequent sexual intimacy (this is somewhat obvious, haha) along with an overall healthy attitude towards sexuality, I would love to have a woman who shares the load, so to speak. Both of us would contribute to household expenses, domestic responsibilities, errands, along with childcare and caring for elderly relatives (if the relationship progresses to that point). A household usually needs two incomes to thrive, and both partners should help with all things in the homes as well. We would also do things together and enjoy each other's company.
Bodybuilding/fitness (which I'm VERY passionate about), learning to swim (that's on my list), boxing, cooking, video games (mainly fighting games and RPGs), anime, and other "nerd" activities, conventions, Caribbean carnivals and parades, performance poetry, horror novels, hobbyist photography, music (hip-hop and R&B, along with other things), activism and advocacy for marginalized groups ... a lot, I know.

I hope that answered your question, at least the second and third parts of it.

James_M_Croft · 2025-10-23T16:35:11+00:00

Sigh. For the last time, men are not women, idealism and perfection means literally it to us, so asking an ideal anything or perfect anything is like asking to describe an unknowable eldritch being.

We however have priorities and mine are:

Loyalty.
Sexual satisfaction
Family orientation
Low cost/risk
Intelligence

Fancy-Scallion-6682 · 2025-10-28T07:40:10+00:00

1) BBW and cute face, but not a double chin. IMO the ideal woman physically is the pornstar pre her weight loss.

2) Have a lot of sex with me. And teach me how I can pleasure her better every time so I can keep on improving and become better than any man she has been with in the past

3) Books, cooking.

TheGloriousEv0lution · 2025-10-10T20:58:52+00:00

My partner is pretty feminine. She’s puts a lot of effort into her appearance and is good at (most lol) of the traditionally feminine stuff, but she’s also assertive at work and her personal life

She would need to enrich my life by bringing support, stability, good vibes, great sex, and just being somebody I can trust

We actually didn’t have too many hobbies in common when we first met. I was more into physical activities and gaming and she liked fashion, concerts and artsy stuff but we’ve picked up a lot of each other’s hobbies since then

I don’t think we have to share a lot of hobbies at the beginning but she’d have to be willing to learn, and vice versa obviously

DietTyrone · 2025-10-10T21:59:34+00:00

What does femininity at its best look like to you?

I think one of the best examples of peak femininity in media would be Margaery Tyrell from GoT. She's beautiful, smart, doesn't have to raise he voice to get her point across, the people adore her so much that even when she has a complete prick by her side she can make him tolerable by extension, knows how to de-escalate a tense situation and control even someone as sadistic as Joffrey.

There's been such a push to portray strong women as just a male character gender swapped, that it's rare to see a true femme fatale nowadays.

What would your ideal partner need to do to enrich your life?

Make it easier and not harder. Be a valuable asset and not a burden. Relieve my stress and not add to it.

What hobbies would you like to share with them?

Video games and conventions but the first one ended up being a bust. However, I don't think shared hobbies is a deal breaker, shared values almost certainly is tho.

SoldierExcelsior · 2025-10-10T22:45:41+00:00

An AI Robot

Ego73 · 2025-10-10T21:35:53+00:00

Femininity isn't really a requirement. Actually, I'd appreciate a sporty woman who'd motivate me enough to finally start hitting the gym.

To enrich my life, I think pretty much the same requirements as I have for my friends. Well, besides sex; I do place a lot of weight in mutual chemistry during sex. Other than that, I think we should have at least one hobby in common. So it's either history, tea or writing.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2025-10-10T22:39:26+00:00

mostly being nurturing, sensitive, kind, caring, warm, supportive and empathetic. also taking care of her appearance, dressing feminine, being somewhat fashionable etc.
bring peace/no drama, be interesting to talk to, intellectually curious and generally fun to be around, good communication, have a matching libido and not be too vanilla. being a good cook helps as well.
shared hobbies are not that important to me as my hobbies are very male dominated. if she likes to read it's a plus as long as i find the literature she reads interesting, but it's more about shared values and lifestyles (outside of hobbies). fwiw i don't consider going to restaurants or enjoying travelling, watching netflix, going to the gym etc. hobbies.

there are a bunch of other things i care about but they don't really fit any of these 3 points and it's mostly traits and characteristics i don't want in a potential girlfriend. women who are obsessed with external validation, have social media brain/addiction or a bunch of tattoos and piercings (other than earrings), are overly assertive/argumentative, women who are on the extreme ends of the political spectrum, modern feminists who talk about the patriarchy 24/7, political activist types, low inhibition party girls, single moms, high maintenance/overly demanding women, very naive or mentally unstable women are not for me.

Plastic-Channel-62 · 2025-10-10T23:05:28+00:00

super thin, virgin, quiet, religious, a-political

Barely-moral · 2025-10-11T00:30:21+00:00

Probably an AI.

-Will stay. -Will be loyal/monogamous. -Will interpret reality as it is instead of using emotion as a lense to distort it. -Will provide company. -Does not complain.

Can't wait for the day an adequate replacement for women hits the markets.

Considering the speed of progress it is probable that within my lifetime it will be possible to run such a program on private servers (would not want to trust something as important as a partner to a company that can unilaterally run an update or cut access to the service)

Past-Shoulder-631 · 2025-10-11T02:52:53+00:00

Cute, angelic, girly, shy, wants a family and kids, enjoys cooking and wifey things.

Immediate_Review_386 · 2025-10-10T22:44:29+00:00

Don't be fat
Don't be argumentative
Don't embarrass me in public
Be more than just fun in bed
Don't fuck other people

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-10-10T23:09:20+00:00

Nurturing would be a huge one. High agreeableness. Low neuroticism. I'm a highly creative person so creativity or intelligence would be a bonus. Offline rather than online person. Open-minded as well.

The first 3 are nearly impossible to find in a woman in the west. I think their combination would manifest in different types of healthy femininity all of which are attractive to me.

N_Count_Council · 2025-10-11T00:39:15+00:00

It's really too vague of a question but healthy femininity to me just means she's able to be womanly while also being able to take accountability. The whole "0 accountability I am permanently a child" is toxic femininity.

All she has to do to enrich my life is add something to it, whether it be love, money, sex, or having fun together. Ideal would be all of the above.

I don't need to share any hobbies, if they do share hobbies then cool but not mandatory.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-10-10T21:00:59+00:00

Feminine means she acts like a traditional woman. Doesn't have to be a total barbie but prefers to wear dresses over jeans and t shirts, enjoys cooking and homemaking, and most importantly doesn't try to be "one of the guys". If I want to hang out with dudes and talk about sports, stocks, and/or women, I'd just hang out with my actual guy friends.

Other important traits are being physically attractive (not fat, clear skin, smooth hair, preferably have at least some boobs/ass/curves) and enjoying sex, including giving oral with enthusiasm and frequency. Definitely prefer her to be on the more submissive end of the spectrum in bed and let me take control. Of course I want to make sure she gets pleasure as well as that gives me great satisfaction too.

In terms of personality, the most important thing is emotional stability. Not blowing up or complaining over trivial matters. Being secure in herself and not assuming her man is going to cheat on her all the time. Basically as low as possible on the hot/crazy matrix in terms of craziness.

Title	What is your ideal partner like?
Author	wyllowysp
Upvotes	18
Comments	137
Date	October 10, 2025 8:30 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1o3c40g/what_is_your_ideal_partner_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-your-ideal-partner-like.1563826 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563826

Comments