Attraction is not created by what you logically say but instead by what you emotionally convey. This is why intelligent technically minded people often fail at casual conversation.

Typical_Connection · 2020-10-19T12:49:11+00:00

Didn’t watch this but this is true. All of my successful lays have been attributed to my charisma, push/pull and using those things to create strong emotional responses. It’s not what you say but how you say it

271828182 · 2020-10-19T17:05:11+00:00

Believe it or not there are some people, including females, who can actually enjoy and contribute to a substantive conversation. The intellectual stimulation can lead to other stimulation.

Generally these kinds of people click right away and can tell they are on the same wave length.

A simple but clever comment or remark can signal that this guy or gal sees the layers, irony and absurdity in common social scenarios.

You can absolutely find attraction through that type of communication, allbeit more rare.

Y34rZer0 · 2020-10-19T14:57:13+00:00

Maybe people who don't know very much don't have any information to communicate, so they have to communicate emotions as their only option.

rising_son · 2020-10-19T15:40:16+00:00

INTJ recognise INTJ

KingCeddy24 · 2020-10-19T13:29:24+00:00

Yeah my buddy is dumb af, like he’s litterally a boring person but he sleeps with all the women because he puts all of his time into training and instagram photos and all the babes like him despite his incredibly low intelligence and knowledge about life.

2695602 · 2020-10-19T14:22:35+00:00

so youre saying i need to dumb my brain down? jk jk

I agree, I am a very logical person who suffers from not having much serotonin so i cant really feel the depths of emotions in both happiness and sadness, so I just grew up to think and make decisions logically and talk using that. And I couldnt agree more. The only times ive succeeded to not fall in the friendzone were the times I was able to do exactly what u said, but it takes a long time incorporating it directly into personality.

having high confidence in myself is most times what saves me too. Convincing never works, portraying does.

Cheers!

U_Lika_Da_Tomato · 2020-10-19T16:51:55+00:00

Attraction is almost 100% biological.

Just because she is attracted to you doesn't mean she will sleep/date you. THAT is where game comes in. To justify the attraction. Seduction101 people.

PachymuNyet · 2020-10-19T21:51:17+00:00

True, but also technical people often spend all day working with technology -- e.g., computers. So they get little practice honing their social skills. And their poor social skills are reinforced by their likewise socially inept peers, including a lack of desirable women. So when they come across an attractive woman, they're way out of their element, out of their comfort zone.

DenverPUA · 2020-10-19T12:56:46+00:00

I am an Engineer but I am not your stereotypical. When I was in school, I hated being around nerds- Most of my friends were non-Engineering majors.

I have a friend who is a stereotypical nerd and I think he is beyond any help. He has no problems starting a conversation with random girls but within 2 minutes, most girls are creeped out- it has a lot to do with delivery, his insecurities all come to the surface and he does not know how to close. I observed him once at a place and it was very cringeworthy.

Would love to help some more guys like that here in the Denver metro area but some seem beyond repair.

Yunchansamakun · 2020-10-19T18:44:56+00:00

It's possible to make these technical things simplified to the point you can use it as a topic or as humour materials.

I used to be that person who talks like he's the smart one in the room. I never really be able to make a lot of friends because I constantly overanalyze WAY too many conversations like an idiot. Now keep in mind I was a niceguy too, so it's two stupidities (Iamverysmart and niceguys) in one!

That is until a friend of mine point it out to me like this. "If a person asks why you shouldn't drink tap water, say it's because it's dirty, not because it has all those different microorganisms and shit."

I kinda stick to that advice and tried to simplify some conversations to make it sound less Iamverysmart to more casualconversations and boy oh boy did it worked like a charm, there are a few exceptions like discussing a few studies and meetings but that's about it.

But since I also learn to develop a sense of humour and sarcasm. It's easier to joke around with people as long as it is placed at the right time.

If someone were to ask me the same question my friend gave. I'm pretty sure I will answer "Cuz the water's unclean" or "Bro, you're gonna have a stomachache so bad the doctors will think you're giving birth to Big Chungus"

couplewithabilady · 2020-10-19T13:32:40+00:00

It always makes an impression on me if the man is dressed well too. Jeans are ok but have a nice shirt on and great shoes. Not gym type shoes but nice leather stylish shoes. Actually some “gym” shoes can be good, colorful ones, leather ones, but not just old yucky ones. Have a nice haircut, be clean and well put together. If you have facial hair keep it trimmed and neat, not growing down your neck because you were too lazy to shave!!! I hate when a guy doesn’t put some effort into how he looks.

Also, how is the girl looking that you want to approach? I think this is an important tip here men...if she is all casual and wearing little to no makeup then she might be a better one to approach if you are dressed that way too.

If the women has her hair done, she’s got a great manicure, is dressed stylish and you walk up in jeans and a plaid flannel she will Normally be disinterested. Just the way I am, just my opinion.

Jnrajiv2002 · 2020-10-19T17:12:45+00:00

I've always wondered why Joey Tribbiani was such a stud, now I get it.

Dannyboi93 · 2020-10-19T16:52:30+00:00

Also have to take into account male vs female conversation style. Women get bored by male conversation style extremely fast, and thats what nerds usually talk exclusively.

Loisitah · 2020-10-19T13:42:43+00:00

Yup. I would say it’s a little harder for a woman of a technical mind as it’s more acceptable for men to be like this. Women are, by majority, more emotional creatures.

paris_rogue · 2020-10-19T14:27:06+00:00

It also affects long term attraction-my partner could fake it, but reverted back to being cold and technical-wanting to be left alone to work 100% of the time. I’m still on the fence about leaving, b/c at that point there could be too much on the line.

aaronclark384 · 2020-10-19T17:28:46+00:00

This helps and explains me to much....

Brainless-Wonder · 2020-10-21T12:18:23+00:00

Good lord, this is too true. I’m no player by any means, but my few really wild success stories were all about an image I managed to project, not how much I can tell you about the history of post-revolutionary Iran or operant conditioning.

It’s really hard for me to put into practice, as I’ve got social anxiety, poor attention span, and generally don’t give a fuck what others think so I don’t often flex as much as I should and say things without a filter that most people probably don’t want to hear. This isn’t to sound snooty but given my interests and career path I’m also just always surrounded by people into intellectual pursuits and have trouble switching that off.

Any advice on how to do this, how to create that sort of emotional image of yourself that attracts her?

phfenix · 2020-10-19T12:59:23+00:00

test people for free will and intelligence with your logic and neutrality. otherwise bring out your peacock feathers and entertain your audience, you dancing monkeys.

UC18 · 2020-10-19T19:14:40+00:00

So I don't have terrible game, I'm just wicked smaht?

J1mmy09 · 2020-10-19T14:27:37+00:00

This is just what i need. Thank you.

tibles20 · 2020-10-19T16:47:00+00:00

I am very confident

anyJose · 2020-10-19T16:54:23+00:00

Honestly I’m not really that smart I always had problems in school so even dumb guys have problems getting laid not necessary nerds. Honestly I do believe that most of my problems actually come from being ugly, cause I mostly don’t have problems talking to people my social skills are fine. There’s tons of smart guys that get laid but they look like models I know one in my school, got the best grades in class and he dated the hottest girl in my class.

Snininja · 2020-10-19T17:29:38+00:00

well shit

Watchadoinfoo · 2020-10-19T18:02:33+00:00

Felt this when I did case competitions

My first one was highly technical and bored tf out of judges

So i changed my approach for the 2nd one and became a story teller, huge change in perception

asiate1323 · 2020-10-19T19:07:11+00:00

But how to change this?

angry_ogunsoto · 2020-10-19T21:41:26+00:00

Yeah this is absolutely true. I am a math geek and I tend to overanalyze things and miss what is happening in the present.

2020-10-20T04:01:25+00:00

You're right to a certain degree. People often find themselves romantically attracted to others because of the emotions they have while interacting with said person.

It can also help to understand some of the types of attraction and their definitions.

Emotional attraction is when you're attracted to a person because you may relate to topics you talk about with them, and because you often talk about interesting topics with each other and feel a connection from that.

Romantic attraction is defined by feeling immensely drawn to a person for their values and traits, or because of how that person makes you feel when you talk to them. This is often described to be similar to emotional attraction, but much stronger with more complex thoughts and emotions involved.

Sexual attraction is purely based on physical appearance, although one may occasionally develop sexual attraction to those who they have intense romantic feelings for.

It's worth pointing out that these forms of attraction are quite distinct from each other, however people can experience them at the same time, and some types may be linked to another type for some people.

If you just want a friend, emotional attraction is what you're aiming for. Something more, like a romantic partner, should be guided with romantic attraction in mind.

Remember, you can't force others to be attracted to you both romantically or emotionally, but you can change yourself and the way you think and approach things so that others may become attracted to you.

starry_eyes222 · 2020-10-20T06:23:44+00:00

Yeah if you get someone to feel good around you or about themselves, they'll associate that feeling with you wanting you more and feeling more attracted and connected to you.

RaZvAn15 · 2020-10-20T07:22:17+00:00

ok, and? i won't change who i am just to activate the chemicals in some girl's brain. i should leave this sub.

touchmedontouchmebro · 2020-10-20T10:36:24+00:00

Just be retarded bro

LuciidEnigma · 2020-10-20T15:19:01+00:00

So basically lower your intelligence to match her heart to heart instead of head to head 😑

Stretop · 2020-10-20T20:13:46+00:00

This is not only untrue, but also unjust towards intelligent people.

technically minded people often fail at casual conversation

"Casual conversation" with whom? And also do you have any statistics to prove this assertion?

Attraction (either generic or romantic) is not created by what you logically say but instead by what you emotionally convey.

That is both false and an overgeneralisation.

It is false, because attraction is created towards something that a person in question desires right now. It may be emotion, it may be knowledge, it may be something else entirely.

It is an overgeneralisation, because there is no such one singular thing that everyone desires. Thus there are no such persons that are universally attractive. Neither there are universal methods of creating attraction.

You cannot logically convince someone to like you.

You still can employ logic to construct an image desirable for your intended audience, should you so require.

In addition, technical people often get stuck in their own heads and over analyze every little thing in an interaction.

This assertion, too, needs empirical verification. Is there any actual correlation between being one of the "technical people" and having this "get stuck in their own heads" tendencies?

The act of trying to process and interpret every piece of information takes you out of the present moment

Only if you lack mental capacity to do so on the fly.

High-cr7 · 2020-10-22T13:59:23+00:00

as an extremely logical person(an engineer lol)!!!

i dont have any motive to go after women!!

what's your motive i read in this sub that most people give solutions but no one give a cause but i myself believe that all our actions (important or not) are initiated by a motive???

(sorry but english is not my first language)

BravePigster · 2020-10-23T03:19:00+00:00

Well I’d say this is true, the only time I ever am good at conversation is when I’m pumping full of adrenaline or had a great day of stupid choices.

Title	Attraction is not created by what you logically say but instead by what you emotionally convey. This is why intelligent technically minded people often fail at casual conversation.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1570
Comments	142
Date	October 19, 2020 12:13 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/je0hwj/attraction_is_not_created_by_what_you_logically/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/attraction-is-not-created-by-what-you-logically.1504225 https://theredarchive.com/post/1504225

Comments