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[–]epimpstyle 124 points125 points126 points 3 years ago (37 children) | Copy Link
It is a polite way to say "I don't want to be your gf"
[–]tyco2408 17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or "I don't want to be your bf".
[+]Icy_Rub1839 -17 points-16 points-15 points 3 years ago (35 children) | Copy Link
This. It just means she finds you ugly. I wouldn't look too much into it.
[–]TruSiris 32 points33 points34 points 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I know 50+ beautiful women in my immediate community that I don't feel a sexual/romantic connection with.
Why is everyone so fucking immature around here?
[–]SpeakerFamous10 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I feel as guys this is a hard concept to understand. We mistake lust for love perhaps more so than women do, but yeah I’ve gone out with a crazy bad bitch I felt nothing for and then a more normal girl the same week I immediately felt a spark with. Feelings are real my boys, don’t ignore them, and don’t ignore when others tell you about theirs.
[+]Icy_Rub1839 -14 points-13 points-12 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Have any of them called you a "cheeky monkey"?
[–]TruSiris 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Not yet 🤷♂️
[+]Icy_Rub1839 -7 points-6 points-5 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
That's a shame.
[–]Lonewolf_087 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
That's next level immature if they did damn that's cold!
[–]Icy_Rub1839 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Why? It could be flirting on their part.
[–]Lonewolf_087 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Oh I guess lol I totally misunderstood your comment. It must be a US English versus UK English thing.
[–]Icy_Rub1839 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes, "cheeky monkey" is used in a more endearing way here.
[–]TruSiris1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Well in that case I get called a cutie a lot and get lots of.compliments on my hair and clothes... but these are platonic friends and the people I hang around are much more open hearted, affectionate and authentic than most in our society.
[–]Icy_Rub18391 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Do women you're interested in call you it too?
[–]harmonic- 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Incel mindset, yikes
Why? Generally that's what it means.
Looks aren't everything, but they're certainly an important factor.
[–]Certifiably_Quirky 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If they say no connection, it means they went out with you and there was no spark. They wouldn't have gone out with you in the first place if you were ugly.
No one straight up rejects an ugly person to their face with 'No connection'. They say they are 'not interested' instead.
But what is this elusive spark exactly? It's incredibly ambiguous.
[–]Professional_Gur_251 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s called chemistry and it sounds like you haven’t experienced it
[–]Icy_Rub1839 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But how can you gauge it on a first date? Sometimes it takes a bit longer for it to develop.
[–]robveg 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
no, not ugly why assume that?
[–]Monibluth 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
It almost always is that
[–]robveg -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Have you seen Pete Davidson or Elon Musk? Looks do not matter much.
[–]Monibluth 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Looks don't matter much when you're famous and/or billionaire but they do when you're mortal tho
[–]Throwawaycauseimvery 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Both are like 6ft2 and celebrities with Elon being the richest man in the world ffs.
[–]robveg 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
yes but also regular looking and not model guys do get women also
[–]Throwawaycauseimvery 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"get women" means nothing. How often? What kind of women? How do they do compared to good looking guys?
[–]CD_Johanna 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Awful comparison. Pete Davidson is also 6’2, rich, famous, and a comedian/funny.
[–]robveg 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
not the point he is rich or whatever. just an example he and others are aware of. you probably don't know my buddy who is great with women but is shorter and not a model. looks are not everything.
[–]Icy_Rub1839 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
What else would it mean?
[–]Bsg0005 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes a spade is just a spade lol. Interests don’t align, y’all not on the same wavelength work wise , or y’all have two different personalities. It’s not always looks, otherwise she would’ve shut you down from the start.
[–]omega05 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It could be something in his personality
[–]MrWolffman 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Your looks is far from the most important factor in attracting women. Stop spreading this bs here.
[–]Icy_Rub1839 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's a very important factor, BUT it isn't everything. Often it is what is meant by "no connection", that I do know.
[–]Throwawaycauseimvery -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Why people here can't accept that looks is the most important thing in attraction and if she doesn't like you she will not give you an opportunity? Doesn't mean that she has to be head over hills for you but some level of attraction must be there. That's the same thing that you do when you approach, you approach girls you like.
[–]MrWolffman 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
People who actually have experience know that looks don't do shit if you have no game or poor social skills. (Apart from online dating if you are the top of the top looks wise). I used to be so bad with women and I'm still far from great but my results have improved massively.
Of course you should looksmax because why the fk not? But beyond that its useless to worry about looks because you can't change the cards you've been dealt. People need to put their victim mindset in the bin. No point complaining that you aren't in the top 20%, be happy that you aren't in the bottom 20%.
That's like saying "arms are useless in boxing because if you don't know how to throw a punch you are not gonna do damage" Problem is that in both cases they are prerequisites, meaning that they don't guarantee you results but if you don't have them you are guaranteed to not have results, plus if you are good looking people will make it easier to interact with them. When I see cold approaches video it's clear that is the woman who decides if she wants to give the guy the time of the day or not, and she decides based on how he looks.
[–]mjornir 89 points90 points91 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
They just aren’t attracted to you. Sometimes it’s just because the personality doesn’t click, sometimes it’s looks/a preference thing. Not worth finding out which, you just move on
[–]Monibluth 17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Word. Just move on.
[–]The_MoBiz 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
absolutely. no point sticking around...
[–]CompetitionFair7686 47 points48 points49 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
It means she didn’t feel the sexual tension with you, the conversation with you felt platonic, as if she was talking with a friend or her brother. The sexual spark was missing.
So no it’s not about comfort or rapport, and it’s not about having different beliefs or interests… It’s the sexual part that you are lacking, you treat girls as if they were no different than your sister cousins, aunts or mum.
[–]reaprofsouls 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is the most accurate response, in my opinion. The biggest mistakes I made on dates was not being provocative enough. Be physically close, compliment her physically/emotionally, engage in a way that invokes positive feelings.
It seems like a fine date to bond over your love for Rick and Morty or food but man is that forgettable and dull. Most often leading to not feeling it.
[–]Furyann 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
honestly sometimes even doing all this doesnt work if they just arent physically attracted to you, or should I say especially if theyre not
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]CompetitionFair7686 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
With this girl no. just don’t make the same mistake with future girls.
[–]Cards2WS 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes it has nothing to do with mistakes. Some people simply don’t connect. I wouldn’t phrase it in a way that makes it seem like if you do everything “right” then there WILL be a connection, because that’s just not true. It’s all extremely case dependent
[–]RastaPilot737 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Are you Kevin Magnussen in disguise?
[–]cryptosis420 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes solution is get more physical. A friendly push, holding hands, a hug, kissing etc.
[–]Kidcouger 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, Go talk to another girl and don't waste your time trying to figure this one out
[–]OkNefariousness9758 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was just about to type that, I'm glad there are like minded people here
[–]nelsne 20 points21 points22 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
When you truly love someone you get butterflies in your stomach. Conversation becomes natural and you don't have think about what you're saying. Being with them feels natural and you yearn to spend every waking moment with them. You'll often have similar hobbies, similar outlooks on life, etc. Sex with this person won't just feel natural but you'll literally feel addicted to this person.
If you were to break up with person or if suddenly something were to happen, you'd feel like dying. Breaking up with this person would feel like losing a kidney or something. That part of you is now gone forever. You'll question if you'll ever feel these types of emotions and you'll never feel this level of happiness again. That's true connection
Or, hear me out, she was just tryna nut but not with him
[–]Erbium-Oxide 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
— Urban Dictionary on “Love”
[–]YouGotTangoed 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It means you make her dry af
[–]Sisyphuses 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol
[–]omega05 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Is this a specific thing that happened to you? Don't get hung up on it. Move on. You guys need to realize there are plenty of women out there and just focus on bettering yourself
[–]FatDaddyMushroom 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She either does not find you attractive, interesting, or both.
[–]dobbs1997 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
low interest, also you don’t need to build rapport or comfort lol I know a lot of dudes think that but when you meet a new woman that is not necessary if she actually has high interest in you.
[–]kate_b87 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There’s no spark. Maybe the conversation did not flow effortlessly. Maybe she found herself getting bored at some point. That’s what it means to me, anyway
[–]ozzzy83 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It means that you were a neutral nice guy who didn't flirt with a girl, so you made her feel neutral about you, aka no spark was created.
[–]CowgirlBebop575 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It probably means that talking to you or being with you feels like a chore.
[–]Lon4reddit 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It means that you went further ahead than many others and actually showed vulnerability and interest. You got rejected? Yep! It's life. Pat yourself on the back because you did what had to be done. Hope it was before you got invested
[–]Opposite_Of_Sleep 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No chemistry
[–]throwaway_68892188 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just means there was a lack of connection. People don't always connect. It's just the way shit is. It's as much on you as it is on her. Don't beat yourself up.
[–]Sisyphuses 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do you stay in the same place when you don’t have signal on your phone? Of course not!
[–]robveg 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Man there are a lot of things for the 'connection' when they say that. It could be anything but it is easiest to just shrug it off and move on unless you ask then maybe you will get a specific answer which is rare.
Just somethings it may be...Are you interested in her or just the sex because they can tell. Did you ask her personal questions and seem genuine or just be too generic? Always let her carry the conversation and you must seem genuine and real, but not overly interested. Play it cool because remember you have lots of options and she needs to know that.
Are you being too forward with her? ry to kiss immediately or when she was not ready?
Are you not being masculine and seeming like a simp or a weakling?
Did you commit a social faux pas without realizing it in front of her? Like being rude to a stranger or something?
[–]revente 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Would it be things like not having the same beliefs, interests, etc?
Sometimes this
Or not having rapport +comfort?
And sometimes being too short and having an ugly face.
Often I suspect it's mostly pheromones or the wrong day of her ovulatory cycle.
[–]theKnightWatchman44 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It means exactly that. This time women are actually telling you the truth. I've had a couple of exes that were hot af but there was no connection at all, and I'd rather have a connection with the average girl.
[–]Icy_Rub1839 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's just gibberish really.
What they really mean is that they have better options.
[–]azicre 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
She doesn't find you physically attractive.
[–]Icy_Rub1839 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
If she says this after meeting you via an app (obviously seeing your pictures) is this still true?
[–]iluvreddit 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Oh yeah because pics are always very accurate !
[–]Icy_Rub1839 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I think as long as you're not lying in your photos it shouldn't be an issue.
[–]iluvreddit 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is photoshop / filtering a lie? Because I think it is.
Well yes it is. However if you haven't used either and your pics are accurate/you haven't lied then it may be something else.
[–]V-Future 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stop acting as a friend with women. Don't be her friend in first place if you feel attracted to her. It's a Trap.
[–]OrangeVoxel 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To start, someone has to see you of at least 6-7 in attractiveness level in their eyes before they even begin to entertain an interest in you. You have to be her type.
Then after that, you must generate an attraction. You have to open her up. You can do this through humor, confidence, just being extremely good looking, and giving some sexual tension, like talking about or mentioning sex, to get her mind starting on it.
If a girl decides there is a lack of connection and actually says this to you, it will be very difficult to turn her around. Lots of other girls out there.
[–]TheLonelyPrincess741 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i don’t agree with everyone saying it means she doesn’t find you attractive (eventho yeah there’s always that option i guess), i think she meant that for her the spark (butterflies, sexual desire, feeling that umpf you don’t feel around your platonic friends) was missing. And no, there’s nothing you can do (and i also don’t think you did anything wrong). You can’t force the spark, it’s either there or it isn’t.
[–]tadass161 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
That means she doesn’t have genuone desire for you
[–]BloodForSanginous -3 points-2 points-1 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s saying ur ugly and they arnt interested in a kind manner of speak
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It means you’re boring
[–]MasterTeacher123 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don’t give her the tingles
[–]inline6throwaway 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sorry man you don't make her wet. No go meet the girl who you do turn on
[–]organbakery 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They aren't attracted to you. And you bore them.
[–]ryux999 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
she doesnt find you attractive
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That there is nothing exciting or interesting going on between you and it won't be. Your traits are not synchronized and your relation would be fruitless.
[–]cronasminate 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd just pull the plug and move on but I'd double check to make sure she's not talking about her wifi.
[–]AlexanderMegaTramp 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It means your penis won't fit in her vagina.
[–]CometAzur42069 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Any of those things you listed. Sometimes its all of them. Soemtimes its silly. A lot of relationships start from funny situations and places for a reason (how many people say they met their partner in bizarre unthinkable circumstances).
[–]JBrizzie 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Lack of attraction,” or “lack of interest”
[–]Big23Island 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Means there is no excitement to the situation, that person could get bored rally fast, if not bored already.
[–]Successful_Teach366 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She’s just not into you like that. Haven’t you ever felt there was a pretty girl with such great qualities and almost everything you look for but you just are not attracted to her because something just isn’t there. You can’t put your finger on it but there’s just “no connection”? Lol that’s what it is
[–]MsVenusGrace 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There’s no chemistry. This can mean sexual, mental or spiritual. I remember this guy was super into me but we had different backgrounds and interests. Handsome guy but I needed more than looks to feel connected to him.
[–]drewcer 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Rapport + comfort
[–]userisauser 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If it's gotten to the point where she has to be direct with you then have missed every other queue and hint before that. Of course there's no way for us to know how serious she is when she says this, but on face value, you are done. Stop what you're doing. Move on.
[–]Friendlybikerguy 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The attraction and desire to sleep with the other person is not there. That’s what that means.
[–]MrBlack__ 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They don’t like you. That’s it
[–]IsThisBreadFresh 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Are you sure he doesn't want you to be his gal pal...?
[–]freespirit1963TJ 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would say that it is the opposite of when people say opposites attract. That truly is an old saying, and it really isn't true (for the most part). I think people would be shocked when they would learn how many people are in serious relationships, to include marriage, the participants have next to nothing in common. So it has to do with common ground, interests, personality, behavior etc. I have been married more than once, I am impish in nature. I cuss, am outspoken, love raunchy jokes and behavior. My first wife was completely the opposite, very straight laced, had a stick up her posterior etc. Had we (or I) recognized we didn't really have a, "connection" we'd have never had a serious relationship or ended up married.
[–]Mr_Throwaway2834 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They don't wanna f you
[–]Lord_Goose 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some kind of combination of not finding you physically attractive, a failure to establish rapport, and/or inability you didn't break the touch barrier lol
[–]gillmanblacklagooner 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe you have different:
• values
• timing
• life moments
• beliefs
• common interests
• humor sense
• political views
• expectations
• future plans
You got it?
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]epimpstyle 124 points125 points126 points (37 children) | Copy Link
[–]tyco2408 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]Icy_Rub1839 -17 points-16 points-15 points (35 children) | Copy Link
[–]TruSiris 32 points33 points34 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]SpeakerFamous10 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[+]Icy_Rub1839 -14 points-13 points-12 points (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Big23Island 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Successful_Teach366 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MsVenusGrace 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]drewcer 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]userisauser 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Friendlybikerguy 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrBlack__ 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IsThisBreadFresh 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]freespirit1963TJ 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mr_Throwaway2834 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lord_Goose 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gillmanblacklagooner 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link