[deleted by user]

recyclablebanthas · 2021-07-22T14:43:03+00:00

1

how he made me (F23) addicted to him online before our date

The post itself is pretty solid, but some disclaimers about the title:

Trying to make someone "addicted" is not an important or realistic goal. Making someone addicted is actually pretty dysfunctional if you really accomplish it.
If you're meeting online, most of the time you'll be dealing with text, which is limited compared to in-person interactions.
Just have some back and forth over text to establish that you're both human. Set up the date if you have a good vibe. That's it.

2

Don’t be an open book

Oftentimes I asked him questions too, but he didn’t always respond to them clearly OR even ignored them and continued the conversation. You could think, what the hell, how’s that good - but it made me curious and he created some sort of mystery.

Couple things here:

A lot of things can "work."
It really depends on what kind of person you want to be involved with.
Let's be real here. Ignoring questions or not responding clearly is evasive. Which is dishonest. That kind of communication style is also often dysfunctional and manipulative.
Being dishonest and evasive will usually screen out emotionally well-adjusted people who don't have patience for playing games or manipulation.

So it all depends on what someone is looking for and what kind of interactions they want. If one is looking for something casual and knows what they're getting into, then it doesn't matter if someone is a little evasive because people aren't always looking for a long term thing.

It's just important to go in with eyes wide open because unnecessary drama can happen when one isn't paying attention to signs that are in front of us.

3

I don’t think there’s anything evasive about ignoring questions or not responding clearly over text. That’s part of the text culture....

EDIT: Having a debate is fine. Not everyone wants the same things.

But if your argument is that ignoring questions and being evasive about answers is not evasive, then you're arguing with the dictionary.

Gaslighting people about dictionary definitions would fall under Rule 4 of the sub-reddit. Take it somewhere else.

NiceWetTissue · 2021-07-22T13:02:44+00:00

god dammit, dating is too fucking hard.

MmmNeapolitan · 2021-07-22T11:42:36+00:00

Video messages are dangerous, you might end up on ymh with tod and christian

Hariharan_VN · 2021-07-22T10:58:22+00:00

okay after reading this I was waiting for some dude to comment " Don't listen to a fish to catch a fish "

struthanger · 2021-07-22T13:36:53+00:00

This is ridiculous tip toeing around a human being for what? Does it go on forever or the two egos eventually drop the fiasco and become themselves and find out the initial persona is not what they eventually get.. I don't get it 🤷‍♂️

meadowiguana · 2021-07-22T13:46:14+00:00

In what world does "so what's up with your cute ass today" actually work?

kittkat04 · 2021-07-22T15:33:30+00:00

I’m sorry but this is a really hot girl who already gets lots of attention. Which is greattttt if you want that. I’m a pretty girl who is shy and a bit “weird” and different. I would not want anyyyyyy of this lol. But again if you’re going for the hot girl that gets hit on all the time and knows she’s a 10 then definitely follow this 👍🏼👍🏼

ClearAsJamal · 2021-07-22T11:19:55+00:00

Step #3 and #5 seem weird, can anyone confirm these are actually good?

verdurakh · 2021-07-22T11:35:41+00:00

#7 seem to be rare most of the times:/

YoungCapoon · 2021-07-22T13:25:05+00:00

Faking your confidence usually doesn’t do well for you its best to just build up and work on yourself for that

iAM_A_NiceGuy · 2021-07-22T11:39:23+00:00

For those asking #3 and #5 are totally true, but you better be busy. Don’t play games, you will have blue balls. If she recognises the pattern(which she will) good luck getting her to trust you.

vikingchameleon · 2021-07-22T15:09:05+00:00

True. I hate the “😍😍”. I did however really like when I sent this guy a selfie of me and he just said “you have really nice eyes” and then continued our previous conversation. He acknowledged it and moved on, boom.

narcissistic889 · 2021-07-22T17:50:15+00:00

Damn that guy sounded kind of manipulative and not open by not answering you questions and just not revealing much about himself. I think normally that would cause distrust, I don't think many girls would dig that lol are you sure you choose the right kind of men

Stormbreaker_98 · 2021-07-22T13:03:55+00:00

2 I struggle a lot. I can see I have made lot of mistakes. I have been a open book and also showed immense emotions. The compliment part also got me wrong. I haven't been playful more like a friend who you know not a guy you would date I guess no doubt I got friendzoned.

The 2 was worse. I used to ask her questions and she at some point felt awkward I guess and said, "hey don't interview me now.. " I felt hurt because that clearly showed I did in a wrong way. Still haven't learnt how to ask it in way that is charming and makes the person in front of you want to answer it!! Any suggestions girls and guys of reddit!

Lost-Strawberry-5621 · 2021-07-22T10:33:09+00:00

More Examples of #2 and #4 gone right would be neat. I feel like that’s where I struggle the most.

TheOffice_Account · 2021-07-22T18:03:36+00:00

Yeah, these techniques work well on women who are immature and have intimacy issues. Specifically, if you think in terms of attachment styles, most of these techniques (esp 1, 3, and 5) are about how to appear more avoidant...because avoidant people (usually men) are magnets for anxiously attached people (usually women).

This will seduce and bring the woman to you, but it ain't gonna last. I can bet OP has anxiety issues, and she prefers guys who are avoidant, ie cold and unavailable most of the time.

I agree with u/struthanger and u/wakeofthestorm; some of these techniques are messed up. If you want to date messed up people, these techniques will work well. If you want to date secure and mature people, a combination of confidence and warmth will get you better results.

e5roberts1 · 2021-07-22T17:14:49+00:00

A guy wrote this posing as a women

Ashtarr · 2021-07-22T16:24:38+00:00

Faking things seems like a double edged sword. Sure you might get her 'addicted' for a while, but what happens when you true personality leaks out?

OP don't you find yourself disappointed at some point after meeting the guy?

Blackmetalpenguin90 · 2021-07-22T13:34:02+00:00

So your advice is the same as PUAs have been doing: act like you are higher value than her, because it's not your real compatibility that counts, only the attraction you build by lerning behaviours that make it seem like you are some irrealistically confident and cool man. Never be vulnerable and don't build real connection, just act out your part as "Mr. Cool".

Well, thanks for your advice, but I'm not taking it.

Fireballmk4 · 2021-07-22T14:27:42+00:00

Dating apps aren’t for me, but this is cool.

MrNiko_Bellic · 2021-07-22T17:40:54+00:00

infinitydeluxe · 2021-07-22T18:51:18+00:00

This is cute

3SidedDie · 2021-07-22T19:55:44+00:00

What I learned from this is:

Treat her right and you'll be her friend. Treat her right, but not too right, and you'll be her boyfriend.

great_account · 2021-07-22T22:14:25+00:00

When do I get to be myself?

OneTaoThree · 2021-07-23T00:00:56+00:00

what is your cute ass up to today

Still kinda douchey. Not everyone's taste.

queenofskys · 2021-07-22T14:51:47+00:00

This post reads like something a dude would write, lol

hasandude · 2021-07-22T19:44:21+00:00

This does not work in my environment. Women are super stupid, no social or soft skills, full of attitude and expect men to be ants who worship them.

2021-07-22T21:17:16+00:00

Dear God ignore this advice. So very emotionally immature and unhealthy.

Falling in love online without meeting is reckless. No matter how much you believe you can learn about someone, it's a facade. Online we have time to think about well crafted answers. Because we aren't getting the full picture, we start to fill in the gaps with our own expectations and next thing you know, you've fallen for someone who doesn't exist.

Unfortunately because love is a strong emotion, you'll be willing to overlook that fact by the time you find out.

If I'm interested in someone, I generally need to meet within a week. Sometimes that can even be too long. If you want a real sustainable relationship based on who you are, don't heed this advice. No offense, OP.

Kenic_In_MD · 2021-07-22T15:12:12+00:00

Very polarizing replies in this post. I'll say this, like it or not OP is right in her tips. It's what I do and it DOES indeed work. I agree it's frustrating and dumb, but that's how we guys think (logical) girls think (emotionally) and if you read these tips it's all based on emotion. Which makes sense, this stuff works fellas. The compliments thing is also very important. Think of the "why" you are complimenting her. She KNOWS she is hot/sexy/cute whatever. She wants to hear what MAKES her that. Her dress? Her smile? Her legs? Be specific but don't hang on it as that can come off as thirsty.

SuperSpreadr · 2021-07-22T13:49:19+00:00

This is the best advise. I have used similar prior and she was hooked.

TheRealNotaredditor · 2021-07-22T13:11:13+00:00

You met on social media. You don't think he's playing 5 other girls just like you?

middletown-dreams · 2021-07-22T16:04:40+00:00

Caveat for point 5, don’t leave people on read. Leave them on delivered.

JonnySnowman · 2021-07-22T17:28:56+00:00

Most Girls write me back then i answer and then nothing. Some of them reply after a while so do i. But some doing the ghosting shit. Why

hi-its-nico · 2021-07-22T17:31:21+00:00

let me smile if i want to bruh

Luilicious25 · 2021-07-22T19:29:23+00:00

I hate this fucking post so much. But certain parts are valid, I just hate that they are.

sk8rboi36 · 2021-07-22T20:43:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Far_Baby2323 · 2021-07-23T06:01:41+00:00

Alright, so there’s one guy who did all of the things you just wrote to me. It seems really work for me I have to say, until suddenly it comes to the ghosting part. Never mention about meeting anymore. My guess is that he’s busy doing it with other girls on dating apps cause it works

WhiteDragonDestroyer · 2021-07-22T14:34:35+00:00

sounds like you got scammed

StereoFood · 2021-07-22T17:12:26+00:00

This is exactly how it’s done...sadly, it’s play the game. :/

plaze6288 · 2021-07-22T16:40:03+00:00

Too much game. No thanks

deepak8717 · 2021-07-22T18:24:05+00:00

I am always available online due to work. I don't see any reason to purposely delaying a reply. I am not desperate to reply either.

whiteboard76 · 2021-07-22T21:10:48+00:00

Here's the best advice.. be yourself.. if they like you, then they really like you not a projection of what you think they will like

cottabelle · 2021-07-23T00:24:37+00:00

As a girl there is no way these mind games would do anything for me..

aerial_coitus · 2021-07-23T00:37:17+00:00

No thanks. Way too much effort.

lfjcflb · 2021-07-23T01:54:46+00:00

qmax1990 · 2021-07-23T02:00:57+00:00

Typical. And pathetic. No, thanks

megasxlr1993 · 2021-07-23T03:59:43+00:00

How to catch a predator

Yokowi · 2021-07-23T04:03:17+00:00

Yeah,no,I'd just avoid a person like that...NEXT SUGGESTION PLEASE

N0_name83726 · 2021-07-23T13:30:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Difficult-Passage803 · 2021-07-27T15:40:26+00:00

You are just another egotistical whore who likes to be manipulated but will cry when you actually get heart broken. Jokes on you.

Legendary-Sleeper · 2021-07-22T10:46:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AnonymousEngineer21 · 2021-07-22T13:54:06+00:00

Pls explain #6

2021-07-22T16:17:15+00:00

Well written and well received information. Next we need a post on how to transition from text to calls. That’s where the real seduction takes place. If you have solid phone game (good use of tone, create a atmosphere of dominance, curiosity and playfulness) the ladies will be so hot and bothered by the time you meet, she’ll practically roll out the red carpet to the bedroom.

2021-07-22T18:24:02+00:00

Most of this stuff is pretty basic and shows up here all the time. Not all of this works for all women either, it depends entirely on the woman and what you're trying to get out of the interaction.

Text game is also BS anyways for the most part. If you're meeting online you should talk briefly over text and schedule a date ASAP, like the mod in this thread says. Use texting for figuring out logistics. You can come across one way over text and be completely different in person, better to sus out if you guys connect in person than waste time talking over text.

Acceptable_Stop_7063 · 2021-07-22T20:13:36+00:00

Uhh😩 women are complicated, I give up on dating. Too much admin.

thisisallanqallan · 2021-07-22T20:15:22+00:00

What type of questions are good to ask on a first meet up/text ?

sk8rboi36 · 2021-07-22T21:33:07+00:00

I think the key assumption you make that doesn’t hold weight is this is only what will work for you or girls like you - and only if the dude is interested in creating an alluring persona (again, for people like you). You’d think, as a girl, you know what girls as a whole would be attracted to but unless you date them yourself (which I honestly don’t know) I don’t think you understand just how different each and every one are. Dating girls is absolutely not a one size fit all endeavor and dating itself isn’t just about first dates or hookups or long term relationships, everyone looks for something different or even maybe a combination of things.

Killz4Thrillz954 · 2021-07-22T23:15:39+00:00

This is exactly how I am without faking it. It works most of the time

buffrmikaplz · 2021-07-23T01:38:30+00:00

Crazy how people need a step by step blueprint on how to court someone nowadays. Like we’ve made it 200k years with no problems, now all of a sudden everyone’s awkward, socially inept, and afraid to get their feelings hurt. What changed?

tthypebol · 2021-07-23T03:29:01+00:00

The 3 is so true. Sometimes I was too open and I felt like an idiot afterwards

robml · 2021-07-23T03:47:01+00:00

Question to OP, what worked on the dating app initially to get you two to Snapchat?

Life-Space-361 · 2021-07-23T04:44:04+00:00

i don’t like number 3 or 5, it’s manipulative

LoveGuruLarey · 2021-07-23T05:23:47+00:00

OP, please set a reminder on your phone to come read your amazing advice in 5-10 years. Would love to hear how this relationship goes.

Jhinn11 · 2021-07-23T06:13:37+00:00

How long did he wait to ask you for a date ?

redditerfan · 2021-07-23T06:17:50+00:00

why did you chat on snapchat? I always get snapchat but whats wrong to chat over Tinder or whatever OLD app you met?

YoMamaz_azz · 2021-07-23T07:34:59+00:00

And what did he look like?

urelatedissues · 2021-07-23T08:57:21+00:00

Good advice, a lot of dating coaches teach this also

Difficult-Passage803 · 2021-07-27T15:34:31+00:00

Yeah I think I’m going to stick to my marijuana and beer and say fuck women.

VictorG_99 · 2021-07-29T23:36:49+00:00

Be attractive
Don’t be unattractive

Thatoneguy7432 · 2021-08-09T02:38:09+00:00

This is impossible

shesanoredigger · 2021-08-13T03:43:00+00:00

Your points are good but your descriptions are soooo making me think you’re about to get fucked over 😬 #goodluck

2021-08-17T14:08:11+00:00

"She should ask questions back". Yeah most of the questions I get asked, are "What about you?" Most unoriginal shit ever!

claw09 · 2021-08-18T18:57:05+00:00

This basically books down to: treat her as if you have options. If you don't care, they'll care to show they are worth your time.

Shit is toxic.

MotorPsychMike · 2021-08-18T22:36:44+00:00

Can't she just be open and honest and not have me play manipulative mind games?

EscapeVelocity83 · 2021-08-21T02:16:23+00:00

Wait. Thats not how I make friends or connect with them

[deleted by user]

Comments

Thank you!

5 is a turn off for me.

4 complement her choice. It could be her jewelry, her purse, her shoes, her dress. "You look good in that dress" or that necklace looks good on you or something along those lines.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1219
Comments	288
Date	July 22, 2021 9:57 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/opar38/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1279881 https://theredarchive.com/post/1279881