How often do women approach you?

MankuTheBeast · 2026-07-03T00:11:07+00:00

Only I have been approached by is gay men 🥲 and that toooo so often🥲

Ooofy_Doofy_ · 2026-07-03T01:40:19+00:00

Not even fat women will approach average guy

Kylearean · 2026-07-03T02:37:41+00:00

Women generally don't approach the same way that men do.

They make themselves available to being approached. Smiling, eye contact, being close to you, striking up a random conversation, laughing at the smallest things, etc.

ApartmentWorried5692 · 2026-07-03T00:28:29+00:00

I also have your stats but I’m broke.

The way women approach is by making eye contact with you. They won’t approach you in person unless it’s a bar or club. Last time I went out to a bar, a girl tapped me on the shoulder and said she wanted to get water and she ordered one and then stayed for a second then left. Later, she eye’d me up and gave me a confused look, likely because I didn’t talk to her and she was like “wtf”.

See, girls DON’T look or orbit men they don’t find appealing. So just because girls don’t approach you, it doesn’t mean you’re unattractive.

Next time you go out, YOU look at girls in the eye. If one reciprocates eye contact, smile at her you sly bastard. She’ll get the memo. It says a million things in one. I had a post about this on here a while ago talking about this. Something about “Making eye contact with women at the gym and bar”.

It works. See a girl you like? Make eye contact and smile.

TheRealJamesHoffa · 2026-07-03T00:41:48+00:00

Like twice in my life. Women usually shoot their shot in more indirect ways. Which I’ve had happen and handful of times but not very common at all.

lovelearningloner · 2026-07-03T01:26:52+00:00

Im 32 and ive slept with 50 women in my life and i can only count 4 times a woman approached me.

Realwoujo · 2026-07-03T15:27:44+00:00

It's rare. And when they do, you still need to carry the interaction.

Special_Rice9539 · 2026-07-03T01:13:08+00:00

Peacocking increases the number of women that approach me by a lot. Something to consider.

I used to go out dressed like a giant chicken but now I just do a light-up hat.

Yeah it’s gimmicky, but sometimes I’m not in a fun mood and the hat does the fun for me and get my night rolling

ghrinz · 2026-07-03T00:23:14+00:00

At least 4 times when I had 0 game. Now, it would be for sales. :/

My dude, you need to have woman around you. Find a group who could bring these women and you host the event.

Iistendipshit · 2026-07-03T08:58:22+00:00

I was very hot and very ugly at times. I never got approached. Currently I have a friend who had a ridiculous glow up, he could be a model honestly. He gets rarely approached, but even then the girls are mid at best. Although, as women don’t approach they definitely will give him obvious clues like standing near him, smiling at him, prolonged eye contact. But that really happens to the best of the best looking men out there. In that terms, you really have to be a seriously good looking guy to get a glimpse of experience of what a below mid girl gets everyday.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-07-03T00:18:29+00:00

I don't wait for women to approach me, i just approach women because i want to and because i can. I don't wait for life to work the way i wish it would and instead just adapt to the reality that i have to approach if i want anything to happen. Waiting for the women that i like to approach me is like waiting to win the lottery.

I just approach and whatever happens I'm cool with it. The women i dated and slept with were women I approached first, if i did not take the initiative nothing would have happened because they would not have done it.

A man ultimately is at his best when he leads and the woman follows his lead. Not when the man is being reactive hoping the woman leads while he follows her lead.

Ninja-Ham · 2026-07-03T00:23:52+00:00

Honestly only when I'm in the club, I'm approached all they time, the rub their back at mine, offer me drinks or bump into me. Bit honestly until now I've never connected deeply with these women.

In real life I'm not approached often. And if then it's mostly not my type 😭

Genobs12 · 2026-07-03T02:17:42+00:00

Never

pottttatttto · 2026-07-03T02:36:10+00:00

Atleast 10-15 times in my life. But I was so shy to even communicate back and made it awkward for all of them. I hate it

Jason__Hardon · 2026-07-03T02:40:18+00:00

It happens about 5% of the time I go out. They straight up cold approach hit on me. Most of the time though it's me doing the work. I have slept with 95% of that 5%. Because as a PUA, once I'm locked in and there's mutual interest it's already a done deal ✅

JamesCruse · 2026-07-03T04:28:37+00:00

Mate, I get approached about 3-4 times per year and it was more when I went out more.

But of those women, I would say only 10% of them were good looking (who I dated).

I will say, I do get cold approached more at parties (not social circle) or during the day than at clubs.

It's pointless dwelling on it happening, unreliable and moot. Cold approach women and have fun with it.

stick_it_in_your_bum · 2026-07-03T06:24:15+00:00

Depends what you mean by approach. I’m 34M and it’s probably in the 50-100 range lifetime. Who the fuck knows for sure though. I’m counting things like girls starting conversations. I remember this one time in particular where a girl on the train approached me saying I looked familiar. I, as a young dumbass, thought she was out of her mind. So instead of playing along I told her I had no idea who she was. Plenty of times in my life where I didn’t even realize I was probably being approached.

But it’s impossible to know for sure because I’ve never kept count. However I’ve missed many of those opportunities because I didn’t develop confidence in myself until much later on. Even now, I still struggle to be consistently confident.

At the end of the day this stat doesn’t matter at all. Out of those I’ve been approached by, only a handful at best I would want to date or fuck. As the guy, you should be pursuing the girls you find attractive anyway. Any girl worth a damn will have to be pursued. If they pursue you there’s usually a catch.

cakemittenszs · 2026-07-03T00:33:50+00:00

I think women tend to expect the man to approach, not the other way around

EmperrorNombrero · 2026-07-03T00:11:09+00:00

What counts as an approach ?

With clearly sexual interest I was approached maybe once. I've gad women stary conversations with me or ask me to do something with them more often than that tho. (Not very often either, but a handful of times)

fallout52389 · 2026-07-03T01:05:38+00:00

I’m 37, chubbier/fat dude and stand at 5’7. I’ve had 4 women approach me but it was long time back maybe 6-7yrs ago. I turned out to be their type they dug bigger men and some of them also liked that I was hairy. They were super touchy right off the bat just getting up in my personal space. I’ve never been wealthy and im not a charmer but they still took a shot.

Beyond that I’ve always had to approach women. But it was a nice few times when the interest was very obvious.

LorHus · 2026-07-03T03:02:05+00:00

Every time I go to the bar. I’m always just interacting with the group I’m with, not trying to make outside contact, and it happens every time. Approachability > exuding brilliance every time

Nervous-Arrogance · 2026-07-03T08:29:54+00:00

UK here for reference.

Happens once in a blue moon, defo not enough to rely on. More likely than not I will have someone in my proximity, or someone who I catch staring at me every so often.

I regularly have older women high five me on a friday or saturday night, if I go out and do "night game".

I am defo not "very attractive" and am probably a bit older than the average guy on here, hair is all shaved off as started balding. Financially, lets not go there... but next year my debts are paid off and I can live a hell lot more comfortably.

All that said, I have always been a firm believer of "Men lead, women follow", so I never expect women to approach anyway, granted I am more open to it these days, as it used to really catch me off guard and I would fuck things up through surprise.

I have also had the odd guy approach me, which I take as a compliment, but not really my cup of tea. And I also empathise with women a bit as I have been full on groped by a guy before.

Sorry-Place6291 · 2026-07-03T13:06:20+00:00

Depends on how I’m feeling. If I’m chilling and having fun, fully engaged with the world without stress girls will usually approach me. This isn’t super direct approaches they seem to want to get to know me post his is more day game like grocery stores and gyms. It’s very easy to turn this into whatever I want. If I’m approached it signals in my head I already won no matter how direct someone is about wanting me or being attracted to me.

I think we all can have this effect when we feel good. When I’m stressed I keep my head down til I figure out the thing that’s causing me stress. I get rid of it and I can go back to having fun.

Key-Proud · 2026-07-03T16:57:16+00:00

When I social proof.

I get: "You look like you have talked to everyone here" or "Are you the owner. I see you talking to everyone" or "We wanted to meet you earlier"

Guys approach me also when I am having a blasts

Peeps who are too shy to approach me orbits arounds me.... but are more welcoming to my approaches.

I am 5'6 asian ... lean muscle ... ok looks (I try to look mediocre to not use looks as a crutch)

ComradeCam · 2026-07-03T00:27:49+00:00

So I had it happened once.

I helped a customer by telling her I didn't have her syrup for a drink. Had an attitude. I gave it back. I told her I'll try and find it and order it blah blah. So I actually did order the flavor and several others. The next week or two I ran into her and told her hey I ordered it. This girl comes back after buying it or something and hands me a thank you card you get from our floral dept.

It was her number.

We had phone sex after wards that night. Didn't amount to much and I was pretty drunk when she called lol.

I still have her card. It was so fucking hot that she did that.

DevuSM · 2026-07-03T00:39:30+00:00

I just got hot and they're coming out of the woodwork.

The weird part is that right before getting hot they were way below acceptable.

Now they are actually all 7-8+ and I have no idea why.

Relevant_Occasion_33 · 2026-07-03T00:50:11+00:00

If a woman approaches me, most of the time it’s at bars, maybe once every five or six times I go, so if I do sets every weekend it’s like once or twice a month. I’d rate myself 6/10, maybe 7 when I was at my best fitness level and style my hair and clothes.

Outside of that, only twice during daytime, and that was with women I’d already met before, like one from high school and another I’d chatted with briefly from the same apartment complex who asked to me have drinks with her.

EquivalentFennel1130 · 2026-07-03T01:16:15+00:00

happened to me once, see asked me if I had a girl friend I thought she was just making conversation since we were classmates before. I asked her for her email.

Romnonaldao · 2026-07-03T01:42:26+00:00

Twice in my entire life

ImpossibleWaiting · 2026-07-03T02:22:27+00:00

Not often, only during social circle game. First time it happened I didn't realize it at all. It looked like a girl just doing whatever made sense at that time during the party. It's only later I got told she likes me. Then I was like "ooooh, that's right, she had anime eyes, she talked to me even though she didn't have to, she seemed excited for no reason".

Eye contact - all the time, at least 10% of all women I meet on the street. Sometimes a girl will stare back at you, sometimes she'll pretend to look in the other direction and turn back just to have another glimpse at you. Nothing is as clear as a girl looking at you even though she doesn't have a reason to.

Ancient_Weekend_4050 · 2026-07-03T02:41:44+00:00

Can you give me a time frame? Just 2wks ago at one bar I had 3 approach me but they weren’t my type but, if you go based off the year or 5yrs things change

WebNew9978 · 2026-07-03T02:54:14+00:00

They never have in my entire lifetime. Universally ugly over here

I_AM_ZOIDBERG · 2026-07-03T03:12:21+00:00

It happens rarely, but I noticed that sometimes you gotta help them a little bit. Last week at the park, I was going home and I saw this woman sitting not far from me. I got up and walked towards her, smiling with confidence and she said hi first! Sadly she had children, but it still felt good!

shinn497 · 2026-07-03T03:43:05+00:00

Never

Outrageous_Ladder680 · 2026-07-03T04:49:07+00:00

Evry hour

Deaf_Sentence · 2026-07-03T07:49:48+00:00

A few times but not too often

epimpstyle · 2026-07-03T08:02:49+00:00

They’ve never approached me just to get to know me, only to ask short, direct, and simple questions. And even that was years ago.

Women don't approach men, and socially, they aren't expected to. If they did, they’d automatically be labeled as easy, but if they don't, they come across as intimidating. Their only option is to put themselves in positions that give you, the man, the opportunity to approach them (which is why pre-approach IOIs exist). Still, even that part is tricky, because you shouldn't actually wait for an invitation from them, instead you always have to be the one looking for an excuse to be near them, so that when you finally do approach, it feels completely natural. That's the tough part, but very easy if you see someone do it in real life.

As I saw is difficult explaining because it can easily fall into the category of overthinking, being too technical or like you're trying too hard.... so if someone doesn't like the theory, then they either see how it's done or learn from trial and error (a method I'm totally against since there are tons of resources out there, there's no need to figure things out on your own).

Sean04_k · 2026-07-03T08:55:28+00:00

In a club environment like 5 times it’s very rare. I’m 5,9 and like a 6/10 if that helps

Left_Emphasis_5574 · 2026-07-03T09:41:07+00:00

Never? Hahahaha

JaraCimrman · 2026-07-03T09:53:14+00:00

Most women wont approach unless theyre absolutely smitten by someones presence. They dont have a reason to take the risk, they get approached plenty

urban5amurai · 2026-07-03T13:22:53+00:00

Maybe every 3-6 months, but I live in a capital city and it will be in bars/pubs.

Domingo_salut · 2026-07-03T13:44:15+00:00

Few times back in the days, though its never direct

Life-Ad-8908 · 2026-07-03T13:54:41+00:00

Like actually approach to express interest? 2-3X a year. Of If I went out more often it’s probably be more than that.

Efficient-Idea5959 · 2026-07-03T14:09:03+00:00

I'm none of the things you mentioned and I got approached many time at one point of my life atleast. I'm into fitness now, I look good now and I'm very confident and charming according to some but I was not like this a year ago, I was broke, I was not what I'd call a best version of myself and I was simply not that good looking to myself but for some reason I was approached by many at that time and eventually one girl, the prettiest one in the whole classroom managed to became my ex. And I get now I get compliments from my circle for being attractive and good looking but the girls who used to approach me, that number has gone to zero. I love to lie to myself that they are too scared because they think I have a girlfriend or I'm just too attractive 🤣🤣🤣. Honestly I'd rate myself 7-8/10 and I'm short.

NearbyRefrigerator81 · 2026-07-03T14:57:04+00:00

I'm never approached by women,and on Reddit,only gay men contacts me lol

Imscubbabish · 2026-07-03T15:32:27+00:00

Hahaahahahaaahahhahahaaaa

Imaginary-Pack8647 · 2026-07-03T15:45:09+00:00

No idea how its possible that u dont get approached with those stats

im 5‘11 with broad ahoulders but women and people in general odten tell my im very good lookign to model comments

i get approached almost every time
im out, when im not women hover around me or try to get my attention otherwise

maybe your face is kind of average? maybe thats the reason

im in central europe

laced1 · 2026-07-03T17:06:01+00:00

I was approached by a woman before at a coffee shop because I had a book she was interested in.

We dated for a few months and then she came out as a lesbian lol

Visual-Investment · 2026-07-03T19:17:57+00:00

I was approached at the gym this wednesday by a woman several years olde than me. First time this year.

We got lots of things in common and have been talking on the phone regularly since then.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-07-03T21:47:40+00:00

I’m also 6’4 and attractive. Basically never or very rarely

rawprimal · 2026-07-03T22:09:45+00:00

It’s less “approached” and more of just noticing girls will hit on me or try and shit test me. Most of the time theyre mid and im not really into it but I’ll play along. Then I think to myself oh this is how girls feel when they get hit on all the time 🤣

NegotiationFar4245 · 2026-07-03T23:06:53+00:00

Usually when I go to a bar, pub or club. Only twice at the gym.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2026-07-04T01:46:30+00:00

In all my years of interacting with women I think maybe 2 or 3 ever approached me

It's up to the guy to initiate and approach

If you were a woman would you approach a guy

FinalWranglers · 2026-07-04T01:58:58+00:00

I've been approached by gay men and women that are taken or even married with children. Single women like to be the selector. Some single women in the same group chats would add me on social media out of nowhere but they never initiated anything. The only times single women approached me were when I was travelling with them in group tours (they were all Europeans).

trmbn65 · 2026-07-04T03:34:51+00:00

Once. She was black and I am white for what it’s worth. Both around 30.

Chrome_Quixote · 2026-07-04T05:06:28+00:00

Never cat called? Where are you hanging out? Familiar environments, social events and night life should be getting you some cues if not approaches.

Lucky-Finish7331 · 2026-07-04T11:04:58+00:00

In America or where

osures · 2026-07-04T13:03:52+00:00

Very rarely. Funnily enough its always attractive ones. I guess its because they have a high self esteem. However I always fumble because that stuff is scary af

DueAssistance1516 · 2026-07-04T19:56:07+00:00

all about context/env.

happened to me a handful of times a decade, all while in denser areas. They will always retain deniability such as asking for directions. In clubs, you have better chances getting approached dancing and not alone, makes it feel safer.

a friend was a bus driver for a tech company shuttling their employees to work, said he got approached by white women while walking around its campus bc most other employees are non-white. Then they lose interest when they find out he’s a shuttle driver.

Old-Air-8336 · 2026-07-05T00:20:32+00:00

It’s happened one time while I was out. Just once lol

ManaDeus · 2026-07-05T00:51:26+00:00

Women do not approach the same way as men do, they do it in a “close enough for him to see me and make a move” pay attention to that, women will get in proximity, sometimes even turning their backs on you

Severe_Move_5638 · 2026-07-05T13:14:07+00:00

Play rummy at a bar with a friend and you’ll have every cute lady in the vicinity approaching

Dependent_Jump9873 · 2026-07-06T22:58:18+00:00

At raves it happens sometimes

Setanta95 · 2026-07-07T08:23:09+00:00

Never in my adult life

Khlqq · 2026-07-03T01:15:44+00:00

Never, I’m an attractive guy as well… an 8 or 9 on a good day. Yet i’ve never been approached once. The interesting thing is I never get approached by anyone. Yet my friend has people randomly talking to him all the time.

I think it comes down to how approachable you look. Just like we are “intimidated” by attractive women… they are intimated by attractive men. You being 6’4” certainly doesn’t make you easier to approach.

A 6.5/10 guy who looks happy/fun/approachable will have many more women coming up to him vs a male model who has RBF.

PuddingInevitable703 · 2026-07-04T21:42:54+00:00

On average atleast 2-3 times in a week I get approached by women

Title	How often do women approach you?
Author	CallRepresentative25
Upvotes	72
Comments	141
Date	July 3, 2026 12:06 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ulyx6o/how_often_do_women_approach_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-often-do-women-approach-you.1584142 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584142

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