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sayitonmyface
[–]cactiguy18 182 points183 points184 points 6 years ago (112 children) | Copy Link
But like.... what if you are social and get out almost every night and also aren't ugly.... then why are you single
[–]jodwilso 101 points102 points103 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Too hammered
[–]Terakahn 30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
What if you stopped drinking.
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
What is this an intervention?
[–]Terakahn 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Nah, but I did stop drinking. I did it to be social, but lost the desire to really be social for the most part.
[–]RUGUERRA -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Maybe you have antisocial personality disorder
[–]Terakahn 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Possible. I like being social. Wasn't always good at it. Now I feel I'm pretty good at it and can have a good interaction with pretty much everyone. But they get a weird feeling from me at some point and it goes off the rails. Still to this day haven't figured out a way to get past that.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Kill the wise one!
[–]matt675 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s not what that personality disorder is.
[–]Undiscriminatingness 45 points46 points47 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's crazy talk.
[–]jedderbob 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fucking a, this one hit too close to home
[–]cactiguy18 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok but wait why do I actually feel like this might be true LMAO
[–]BurnItDownSR 22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (37 children) | Copy Link
Because you don't know what you're doing.
And before you say "but I've been learning this stuff for years".
It may be that you're learning from the wrong sources or you're learning from way too many.
The wrong sources are just shit and they don't work. And learning from too many is like trying to create a picture with puzzle pieces taken from 10 different boards.
[–]gtrman571 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
So what are the wrong sources then? The right ones?
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Models. Just read that. Forget everything else.
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NairbHna 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s the attitude. Cheers to a good life
[–]BurnItDownSR 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If trying all the time is not good enough then try something else.
[–]surfinfan21 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes.
[–]hahah89gh 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There isn’t any lmaoo either you’re good looking and naturally have it or you don’t. You can’t learn humor, you can’t learn charisma, all you can do is hit on other areas (I.E. Looks or money).
[–]cactiguy18 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
I guess what I don't get is that I see my friends getting success without even trying. People have told me I am just as attractive as my friends, and personality wise we are very similar, I am even more outgoing then some of them, and yet for some reason women are just drawn to them instead?
[–]BurnItDownSR 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
Seems like your problem is that you're not putting in enough effort to improve at this.
You feel like its unfair that you have to work harder than your friends but that's life.
We get dealt different hands, that's just the way it is.
So you gotta work harder than your friends to get laid, so the fuck what? Do it.
I'm sure there are other things that come to you easier and to them harder.
We just gotta play the hand we're dealt.
[–]Andery21 14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
But do fucking what. You say work harder but bro any harder and I'll come off as a fucking sap. I feel like i just rolled a nat 1 on charisma and I'll never be that dude who incites extreme emotions from females. My buddy tattooed and werid as fuck has women all over him and he couldn't care less. I just don't get it. Ive tried reading watching going out and practicing and I pull pretty well maintain interesting conversation but cannot close to save my fucking life.... I am getting to the point. I either need to accept I'm going to be forever alone or just shoot myself in the fucking head because this painful loneliness is just eating away the little bit of happiness I have.
[–]cactiguy18 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah I feel this so hard. Trying any harder and it would just be... weird. I have great charisma in general but for some reason it doesn't click with ladies. I feel like we are forever destined to be that mediocre middle. We aren't incels or anything, and will occasionally have luck, but no where near like some guys inexplicably do
[–]Solanthas 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some guys have it and some don't?
Also consider if you are perhaps sabotaging yourself or subconsciously rejecting girls without realizing it.
If you deep down believe you're not worthy of a woman's attention, or you feel she isn't worth yours, it's gonna come across in your subtle or not so subtle body language. It has to do with something as simple as how you direct your attention.
Also, how do you handle those tiny windows of opportunity for action (to initiate conversation, to move closer, to touch, to escalate things emotionally, etc).
I am single myself for the last 3 years and not for lack of trying or opportunity, perhaps more due to lack of consistency and personal conviction on my own part that I am worth it. Also just needing to get my life together in general, typical manchild bullshit
Personally I have found the most productive state of being is where you're feeling good in your own skin, like you're happy with yourself and think others should be too, communicate your attraction but focus more on how good it feels to just express yourself and generally not give a fuck about how it's recieved
Also the times where I made progress were where I said fuck it, this is what I want right now and I'm gonna go for it and I'm curious to see where it goes and if it doesn't work out cool
Also believe it or not probably most guys feel this insecurity you just expressed even if they get lots of attention from women, because the women giving them attention they probably don't really care about
[–]cactiguy18 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I do put effort in though. And that is what I don't get. I guess I see it as unfair, yes, but unfair that they do nothing and I am over here trying my ass off and it still doesn't work.
Maybe I am still missing something though. Perhaps I haven't found what it is yet. I won't give up. I will keep trying till something works. I am just getting tired of it, that's all.
[–]blackberrydoughnuts 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I've seen this a lot and my guess is you're holding back because you're uncomfortable with your sexuality.
[–]cactiguy18 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Just need clarification, do you mean uncomfortable with my sexual orientation? Or just being sexual with others in general
[–]blackberrydoughnuts 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Like, uncomfortable being sexual with girls, uncomfortable hitting on them, uncomfortable making moves and escalating, uncomfortable with the fact that you want to fuck them.
[–]cactiguy18 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Ok yeah actually I think you may have hit the nail on the head. Come to think of it, my other friends are VERY sexual. Now, I'm not opposed to sex obviously, but yeah the idea of being overtly sexual with a girl is somewhat unsettling to me, even though I have had sexual experiences before.
I don't wanna come across as creepy/ invasive etc, I don't want to make them uncomfortable, and thus I hold back.
I get that it's a learning process, but I really don't know what to do.
[–]blackberrydoughnuts 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
You will come across as creepy or invasive sometimes. You will make them uncomfortable sometimes. That's unavoidable. No way to do this without making mistakes sometimes.
You just have to give yourself permission to escalate and be sexual. Make a conscious effort to try it, and just understand that it's part of the process if you make a mistake - that's the only way to learn. The better you are at this, the more mistakes you've made.
So give yourself permission to try and experiment even though you may make someone uncomfortable.
[–]Undiscriminatingness 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, ya gotta break a few eggs to make an omlette.
[–]hahah89gh -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hilarious that you just create the answer to try to make it sound like you know anything about this. 😂😂😂
[–]int-enzo 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I didn't remember my dad saying he needed sources, or knowing what he was doing.
Do you realize that humans have been in relationships for way more than 2000 Years right?
[–]alejandro_23455 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Times have changed. It’s not the same game your dad was playing at all. Your dad probably didn’t have to deal with social media, dating apps, women joining the workplace (maybe this one)
Having no real comparison I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say things have perhaps not changed as much as it seems.
I doubt the fundamental principles of male-female attraction have really changed, more like the social context and cultural trappings have.
[–]MrMemper 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s because the current social paradigm thanks to social media, is that 90% of women are wanting only 10% of men. Learn as much as you want. It won’t do much. 30% of American men in their 20’s and 30’s are incels and the number is increasing. We will match Japan in no time. In Japan 70% of the entire population of men are single. Marriage and children there are way down such that in 10 years or so, adult diapers are going to out-sell baby diapers. This is the US future as well no doubt.
[–]Solanthas 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Holy duck
You mean like.....(shudders to think)...reddit???
[–]Fiesta17 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Possible trauma that's too small to recognize. Had a buddy who's traditionally good looking, 9/10, and his mother is an alcoholic manipulative bitch. When he was probably 6 or 7 she grabbed him by the neck in a "loving" way but when he tried to knock her away it became a vice grip. It only lasted like 30 seconds.
Turns out this small little happening at a young age was enough to make physical touch an extremely intrusive behavior in his mind so kino was out of the question entirely. His only relationships were with women who threw themselves at him or had traumas of their own we worked through.
Finally met with a therapist about it thinking hes just autistic when the repressed memory came back. Started pushing against his trauma and forcing appropriate touching with women he's interested in and now he slays.
[–]Solanthas 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Super powerful insight, thanks for sharing.
Everybody struggling with relationships of any kind ought to give therapy some serious consideration
[–]Fiesta17 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It really changed my perspective on how I approached my own troubles. That therapist worked wonders for him and for those around him just having him share that story with us.
It made me look at my own negative self talk and try to find where it came from. Sure enough, I could pinpoint a small 15 second happening in my childhood to causing certain behavior any time a similar situation would come up.
[–]Solanthas 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fuck. You just blew my mind cuz I can remember my own shit too. Dang
[–]Fiesta17 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Self healing is the only way to find true change. Good luck :)
[–]cactiguy18 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I experienced emotional abuse growing up. Is it possible this would affect it? My issues aren't with physical touch, but with internal thought processes, which would make sense.
[–]Fiesta17 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely possible. Im no expert but any kind of abuse can stand in the way of developing and if it happens early enough in life, its almost like those skills dont exist. But just like talking, its not that the skill isn't there, its just waaaaay under developed.
Internal thought process, Id recommend chakra meditation. Use friends or find new, hippy ones, that are along the lines of peace and love for all and learn to accept things as they are before you start to change them. Only by loving what is can we begin to love what could be and only in love do we attract others to us.
[–]GomboAndGimlee 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
1) Talk to single women you're attracted to
2) Make it known you're interested in them, not just being their friend
3) Get their contact info, contact them, and set up dates
Which one are you not doing?
[–]cactiguy18 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I get lost somewhere between 2 and 3 ?? I talk to them and flirt, get their social media but.... They just.. shoe no interest whatsoever?
[–]HollowLegMonk 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Do they show clear indications they are interested during 1 and 2?
[–]cactiguy18 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not really? In general none of them really show any interest. They enjoy talking to me etc, want to get to know me, but it seems to be very platonic
[–]TheGreatConst 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe you waste way too much time on step one. It should be the shortest one, at most 30 minutes unless you will meet her regularly anyway (like a coworker, classmate, etc).
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
1, a little 2, and 3
The last time I spoke to a single female I was a middle school student. I have been attracted to a few in my 30 years, but none of them was single.
[–]poporn69 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I'm too picky, tbh. I also like girls who dislike me and don't like girls who like me...
[–]cactiguy18 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I think that might be part of my problem honestly. The girls I'm not into, they're into me, and the girls j actually am interested in want nothing do with me. I don't get it, why does it have to be this way
[–]Solanthas 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Feeling this HARD.
Growing up I used to believe the entire world was one giant love triangle where everybody was always attracted to someone who was attracted to someone else, etc etc.
Turns out it's easier to be your natural self around people you're not attracted to because you're not as preoccupied with their opinion of you, and this makes you more attractive to them.
And vice versa, when you're around people you want desperately to like you, you act in securely, which is less attractive.
I feel like this is also why my relationships I have had fail after a few months. Initially, it usually starts with her chasing me (When it does rarely happen) and so I am indifferent, and am my natural self. Then when I begin to be attracted to her/ develop feelings, I start worrying more and more about everything, and I slowly lose myself. Then she pulls away.
[–]Solanthas 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, that's insecurity and it's apparently a huge turn off to most women (and probably people in general). I'm learning a bit about transactional analysis where all interactions between people are essentially a transaction, where each person is expressing a need they are trying to meet, and offering up to meet someone else's need in exchange. Not to go too in depth but something I frequently find myself doing is asking others for their advice/input/opinion even if I don't really want it, or care what they think, or have any serious intention of following their advice. It's an expression of insecurity and what I'm seeking is reassurance and indirect approval. I see myself doing it and it's sometimes sickening. But anyway, hope some of that helps somehow.
Another point I was gonna make before, but is less relevant after your reply, is people who struggle with a repeating pattern of unrequited love (crushing on people who don't return those feelings). It can be a self defense mechanism because it's easier to pine after someone who is guaranteed to reject you (not attracted, emotionally unavailable, fantasy etc) because then since failure is a foregone conclusion, you're not actually taking any risk.
The real scary possibility is failing at a real chance at a relationship.
It’s not about being your natural self, around people you’re not attracted to you don’t care about making a good impression, you don’t care about if they find you attractive, you’re not trying to win them over. Around people you’re attracted to you try to put on a front, sell your “best” self and you try way harder to make sure they “like” you. This makes you needy and desperate, whereas with the people you’re not attracted to you come off as centered, secure and give off an abundance mindset. You’re not thristing around trying to show off you’re just chilling therefore they think you being around these women is normal and it’s the usual shit. So you need to have that same feel for the ones you’re attracted to then they will feel you’re always around beautiful women/men and if they don’t act fast you’ll get snatched up.
[–]Spaceman7Spiff 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I've been reading all the other replies to this and I have a thought that hasn't been addressed:
I have a friend. Mid-twenties, tall, unquestionably attractive, friendly, social, good job, own home, cool car, plenty of money... terrible luck with women. His problem is that he has basically no opinion on anything. He is so desperate for everyone's approval that he will avoid any inkling of conflict in any conversation. On a surface-level, he carries himself with confidence but as soon as you get into a one-on-one conversation with him on anything, it's obvious that he's completely devoid of self-confidence, and therefore, boring to talk to. His looks and status sometimes get him cute girlfriends but they never last more than a couple months because his lack of confidence makes him needy. Deep down, it's clear that he's a good guy but he needs to get to know himself better and develop his own thoughts and opinions and then learn to be confident in them.
Not saying this is your problem but I've seen this problem in varying severity all over the dating world... So, just something to consider.
I may be somewhat guilty of this?
I don't just comply with everything people say to me as it sounds he does. If I have a different opinion etc, I will say it. So though I don't think I am that extreme, I do relate to the other parts. I tend to be needy in relationships, and mine haven't lasted for more than a few months either. I am working on it/ have improved, and am not outwardly clingy and needy like I was with my first girlfriend. That shit was just... sad. But like you said, its severity differs, so I some aspects of this may relate to me. I'm not even entirely sure where the relationship insecurity stems from though.
[–]xileine 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
he has basically no opinion on anything
Is there a difference between this, and just being done/not giving a shit/not wanting to hear any more about something? Like, I have "no opinion" on politics, but I used to. I just got tired of what having an opinion about politics does to you, so I cut it out of my life like a toxic friend. Now I have no idea what's going on politically, and I actively avoid anything that would give me such an idea. I feel great. But does this read as "no confidence"?
[–]Spaceman7Spiff 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No, that's definitely not what I'm talking about. I mean he might offer a wishy-washy hint of an opinion and then completely abandon it at the first sign of a dissenting opinion. It's a very people-pleasy kind of behavior.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can be lots of little things. No one understands women and you cant as each person is different. You might show too much interest, you might show too little. You might not be spiking their interest enough (I struggle like crazy with this at times)
You can only find out what works for your personality with experience. Just keep trying different things and eventually you will turn into something that the majority of women are into.
All you need is an attractive face and you’ll hit what the majority of women are looking for.
[–]ddredden 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Being social and having social skills are not the same thing.
[–]cactiguy18 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have the social skills to make friends, I have lots of those. Idk I'm just lacking them in the flirting department ig?
[–]ddredden 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Intent is usually an issue (that is making it known and making it an explicit male-female interaction, assuming heterosexuality). All this assumes you actually have some level of game however; without it you'll just have social skills. Game/pickup is an art and science extension of social skills.
I can point you to some groups that may help
Yeah, that might be it. I feel awkward being too forward, it just feels out of place, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. The few times I have been successful is when I just said 'fuck it' and went for it, and hey it did pay off. I usually have no issue with say, teasing a girl, so that is my go to flirting method. Sure it works to an extent, but it obviously lacks.
So I get I should still work on that; I think what I don't get is that women are drawn to my friends (Who are similar to me looks and personality wise) right off the bat, before any of us have a chance to really interact with them.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Things that came on top of the mind. Could be: 1) Afraid of it(Or fear of unknown, you might be afraid on hows and whats of relationship) 2) lack of skillset(can be learned) 3) Deep down you don’t want that. And you’re seeking it because you think that’s what is normal in this society.
Could be other things also, but these are some generic I things.
[–]cactiguy18 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It can't be number one, I have had past relationships so I know what to expect.
May be a mix of the latter two. I do suppose I have rather high/specific standards, so that significantly shrinks the dating pool. As a result then I guess I deep down don't want it, at least not often. I don't want a relationship just for the sake of having one, I want one with someone I connect with. I guess my biggest gripe is more why haven't I met anyone like that, when I have been so social.
[–]InFa-MoUs[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
cuz you suck as person... /s no but seriously if this is true then you need to just make sure youre not being a dick to people.
[–]cactiguy18 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not being a dick to people. And look, I know it's hard to believe that from some rando off the internet, but really. I am not, and I have many friends I have made recently and many people who tell me I'm a great person. (Not trying to toot my own horn, just saying others don't think I'm a dick either)
[–]optionalhero 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fr we gotta stop perpetuating the idea that only hot people go outside and ugly people stay indoors.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I go out every day, take a stroll around the town and stay sober. It's something else. I think..
[–]hahah89gh 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That would be you are ugly to them. Again looks matter
[–]cactiguy18 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So I'm ugly to almost everyone? I mean, yeah I get that I'm not prince charming over here, but I'd say I am a little above average, especially in the last few months I've really worked on my appearance. And people tell me I am attractive, yet...??
Well it depends on the people telling you that you’re attractive. Women will avoid being hurtful or confrontational at all cost, and your close friends don’t want to put you down. If we take that you are above average look then you’re presenting what you have wrong, idk your life or anything but if you’re really attractive you will definitely know it. My little brother for example has been called a “heart breaker” since he was 11 years old, told by many women that “you’ll be fighting off all the women”. Now me for example I never heard any of those things except for the pity “you look handsome” which is just a plain term with no real meaning behind it especially when it’s said by your mom. My brother easily got women from all ranges and he was a shy introverted guy but because he was attractive women naturally approached him and rolled out the carpet for him so all he had to do was act. For me it didn’t matter what I did I could never succeed with women, weather I increased my income, lost a fuck ton of weight, spent hundreds on clothes and dumb ass haircuts/styles none of it made a real difference... women didn’t magically start looking at me more or anything they just let me be as I was before. So if you’re attractive take a solid look at what you’re doing and how you’re acting to see if there’s an issue.
[–]Aghayden 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Do you actually approach girls and ask them out or lead things forward in any way?
[–]cactiguy18 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No, but that's cause it never gets that far in the first place
[–]KC0023 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What do you mean? A few posts above this one you say you get their contact details but you never ask them out?
I don't get it.
Yeah. I get their contact but they don't show enough interest etc. It very much seems like a platonic thing?
[–]KC0023 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You got their contact detail so what more do you need to ask them out? I don't get it?
[–]passengerpigeon20 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is my worst fear, and I actually am ugly. At least right now I can live happily, lying to myself that my lack of success is due to a lack of hard work, and that I could get a girl if I tried. I know full well that that isn't true, and nobody at my university will really let me into their social circle to begin with.
[–]scriggle-jigg -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
You’re probably a shitty person and creepy
[–]Fiesta17 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Or traumatized without recognizing it. This a very important option for a lot of us and often times we're told things like you said and we blame ourselves until the right therapist wakes up repressed memories of abuse and it all makes sense.
Turns out even light traumas like someone binding you against your will "as a joke" can cause insane sexual repression in people no matter how good looking they are.
Oh shit. I hadn't even considered that. So it isn't even nessecarily explicitly a sexual trauma? Because I did experience emotional abuse as a child. Maybe I do have a more repressed physical one too. I have always been a little, different, when it comes to my sexuality. I can't quite put my finger in it but I'm definitely different than most people.
[–]Terakahn 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, I don't think at this point it's something I can even control. I give people the 'wrong vibe'.
[–]TallNerdFromSchool_ 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And you can fix that, completely
[–]cactiguy18 -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Right.. which explains why I have so many friends who love and support me....
[–]dukeofgonzo 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It doesn't. But it does beg some questions.
[–]scriggle-jigg 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That doesn’t mean you aren’t creepy or weird. I was just saying though I wasn’t targeting you or anything
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Very good point. Tho I should clarify that I also have many women friends, some of whom I am very close too. If that were me (and I can assure you it's not haha) wouldn't these friends of mine sensed it too?
[–]babyduck5 -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
A couple of things...first, if you go out "almost every night", you seem to be just a douche-bag looking to "hook up". Second, if you don't want to be "single", STOP "going out almost every night"! A place that serves alcohol is NOT the place to find someone to make you "not single". You have to find someone that you "enjoy" being with. That MEANS besides your "bro" friends. I am the luckiest man, in that, I found someone that I LOVE being with! That means, going shopping, watching football (she LOVES Alabama!!!), sitting on the couch just talking, making dinner in the kitchen, laying in bed streaming our favorite guilty pleasure on cable....I mean EVERYTHING! I would rather spend EVERY minute of the day with her than ANYTHING else I could think of.
Ok I'd appreciate if you didn't assume the worst? By get out every night I meant I don't sit alone at home all the time; I hang out with friends/ family. At most I get drunk and party once a week. I know very well it has to be someone I enjoy being with. I don't want a relationship for the sake of having a relationship, I want to meet someone whom I connect with. It isn't my 'bro' friends either?? I have an almost 50/50 mix of dude and girl friends that I hang out with.
Those things you mention doing with her, that is great; I am glad you found someone like that. That is also what I want.
[–]babyduck5 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Well, I didn't "assume". It came from your post. I was trying to say that look for someone you "like" first. Someone that you enjoy their company. To spend time just talking to and relating life experiences and opinions. I know a lot of guys who would rather spend time with their "buds" then spend time with their wife/girlfriend. I LOVE spending time with my wife.
I honestly have the opposite problem sometimes haha. The couple times I've had a girlfriend, I tend to enjoy her company so much that I over focus on her and I neglect my friends. I know it's bad, and I have been working on it, but it's hard. I've found a good way is if she gets along with my other friends as well and that way we can all hang out sometimes.
[–]babyduck5 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, it's very tough with the girlfriend-friends dynamic. I'm not sure how you would navigate that. There are so many variables, but its nice to start off with emotionally mature friends and girlfriend. I hope you can find that nice balance with both sides.
[–]rich_god 248 points249 points250 points 6 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
Actually, you’re single because you’re afraid of being in a relationship, because you have too much expectations and putting too much pressure on yourself and others.
[–]GalaxyFireworks 37 points38 points39 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I agree! Which is why I try to have low expectations and then magic things happen. Seriously expectations can lead to disappointment so quickly. Why not let this happen organically!? I'm with the love of my life now simply because I went to an anime convention rave and then months later invited him to come hang out with me while I was packing for a trip randomly and now we are inseparable. ^_^
[–]notpahimar 17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
anime convention ^_^
anime convention
^_^
Story checks out
[–]kloyber 22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If you met him at anime convention rave, you really must have low expectations
[–]GalaxyFireworks 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
lol we're pretty compatible! he went pretty spontaneously! he hasn't really gone to as many anime things as me.
That's what I would tell people if I went to anime conventions too
[–]GunwalkHolmes 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What's a good trick to make sure you keep expectations low? Seems like it's something that sneaks up on me when I meet someone without me even realizing it.
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
In my experience the women I’ve dated usually have more expectations and put pressure on me to be in a full relationship with all that entails for them. Not all of them, but most by far.
[–]rich_god 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
My comment is directed to both men and women.
If you are with people with high expectations, it’s because you feed them. It’s because you play the games of labels : you put words on relationships before making the experience.
For example, exclusivity. If the first time you sleep with someone you ask (or agree) for exclusivity, you’re putting too much pressure on something so fragile. If after two months you observe that none of you have had sex with other people, or don’t feel like meeting other people, not you can ask “hey, would you say we are exclusive ?”.
Use a descriptive approach, experience things as you want to experience them and then try to understand them. Don’t use a prescriptive approach guided by insecurities. Don’t try to control or own another person.
[–][deleted] 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]rich_god 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh yeah my bad. In your case you’re single because you don’t want to be in a relationship.
lol
[–]BurnItDownSR 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
When the majority of people you get are bad for you, its usually not them who are the problem, its you.
You're clearly attracting the type that have more expectations and put pressure on you to be in a full relationship with all that entails for them for some reason.
[–]Emperorerror 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No idea why this is downvoted. It's a very respectful and chill response to a slightly aggressive comment.
Well thank you! Personally, I think that measuring your comments by the amount of upvotes and downvotes you get doesn’t mean much. Who knows who is voting up or down or for what reason. It’s a big site, and I’m glad different views proliferate. I am a fucking idiot, but the hivemind can be wrong too you know! We all have our worth, even when social norms work against us.
[–]blacktortoise69 -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dont let these cucks say you are the problem and actually believe them. Maybe society is the problem? Why should you invest everything into every single person you like? They need to prove themselves just as much as you do.
[–]Bad_Wulph 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stop please no more I yield
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask yourself where are these expectations coming from? Have you learned behaviour of having expectations this from people?! Or is it self made. If you’ve learned it then probably some self awareness is needed as to why you’re following something that you might think is the righteous think to do. And if it come from within you then see within yourself if the expectations are genuine or something made out of thin air. Sometimes having expectations are good, but you should know that even being in a relationship you don’t own the other person. It’s their choice that they are with you. And not a compulsion. Just because the other person likes/loves to be with you doesn’t mean they have to behave in a manner which suits you.
[–]ilostmyfirstuser 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oof this is more accurate.
[–]Stelgard 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This
[–]ArmitageShanks69 112 points113 points114 points 6 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link
What about... you don't have social skills because you don't leave your house, and you don't leave your house because you're ugly?
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 35 points36 points37 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Well for the first thing, their ain’t any pill bud, it’s the right eating that you’ll have to do. Feed yourself with that food day in day out. And the body(mind) will grow. And for the second thing, the idea of being ugly or good looking comes only when you compare yourself with someone that you may think is good looking. So it’s not that you think you’re ugly, rather it’s the importance you give in your mind to the kind of people that you think who are good looking. Preaching self love, is the remedy for you. A quick help:Start with some healthy self talk. Talk to yourself in front of the mirror. Say good things about yourself. Make it a habit of 2-4mins daily, even if you have to fabricate it. It won’t take more than 21days(as per science) for you mind to start believing this.
[–]I_Took-This_Name 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's actually pretty solid advice, thanks, keep preaching it.
But fix the spelling first. Holy shit it's bad.
[–]surfinfan21 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m the funniest, most handsome and charming guy I know. I also don’t know many guys.
Last 3-4 lines connects to the power of your subconscious mind. And its true!
[–]j0sephl 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Maybe I should give this experiment a solid go. I don’t think I am a ugly dude. I dress nice, go to the gym, hold onto a career job, and etc but I feel like this might help push that self confidence further into the positive.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’ll work like charm I’m telling you, just believe in it.
[–]GomboAndGimlee 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
One strategy would be to have a banging body to offset the ugly face. If you have a bottom 10% face you want a top 10% body.
[–]Slowmexicano 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Ugly people get laid too
[–]ChuckEJesus 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
By ugly people.
[–]Slowmexicano 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Well what do you expect. Unless you got money or fame.
[–]Seneca_B 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Develop a great body. The face does matter, but fashionable, tailored clothes on a hot body with some social chops will solve most problems.
[–]HollowLegMonk 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Height’s not a deal breaker for most women. It might be a preference but it’s not a deal breaker.
[–]HollowLegMonk 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You know just the other day there was a post on Reddit about height in like r/datingadvice or somewhere, and there were literally hundreds of comments from women saying they had dated and/or found shorter guys attractive. There were a lot of short guys commenting that they had success with women too. My best friend’s dad is 5’3” and his wife is 5’11”. I have a friend who is 5’7” and he does great with women, he kills it. Some girls even prefer shorter guys like my sister. She is 5’4” and she has always gone for shorter guys. Both of my brother in laws were under 5’8”. Even if a woman says she only dates guys who are 6 feet or above she’s probably gone home with guys below 6 feet before. If you’ve got game it is an obstacle but not impossible by any means.
[–]OG_SourDeezNuts -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Get rich if you’re ugly and want to get girls hotter than you
[–]Sublem0n 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Incel thought process 101.
Plenty of "not rich" dudes meet women FFS... Including myself.
I'm going to school and love at home until my semester starts and I'm in a relationship for the past couple years.
If you think every complex issue can be boiled down into stupid phrases like "just be rich" you're going to have a bad time in life
[–]I_Main_TwistedFate 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But what if your rich and handsome?
[–]Sublem0n 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then you're not in here
[–]OG_SourDeezNuts 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Did you read my comment properly? Of course you don’t need to be rich to get girls. I’m saying if you’ve been very unlucky in the genetic lottery and your an ugly guy, getting rich is pretty much the only way your going to attract really hot girls, otherwise your mainly going to attract girls of the same attractiveness as you.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Money does work to an extend, but not always.
[–]Schroef 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah because money isn’t some magic spell, but because being rich is a result of having the personality traits a that lead to succesful careers and a rich social life (and even to good looks, to a certain extent)
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Only purpose of money is to make it less of an effort for you, by gaining access to things(materialistic, like the crowd you hangout or the places you visit, stuff like that). But it can’t make it effortless. And even if it does make it effortless, then there’s no point in chasing it bud, coz it just spoiled the fun of it at the first place.
[–]Schroef 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you missed my point— or I wasn’t clear.
There’s no purpose of money. As a guy, to put it black and white, you can be a ‘winner’, or you can be a ‘loser’, in the broad sense. If you’re a winner, a logical result is that you have a decent income. Another logical result is that you have a decent romantic interest from girls. That’s not a result of you having money, it’s a result of you being a ‘winner’.
[–]BurnItDownSR 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So why do you need to be at the point of richness before you get girls?
If you're developing yourself in all those great ways while you're still in the process of getting rich then why wouldn't you attract women along the way while you're not rich, just getting there?
[–]Schroef 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don’t. If you think you do, you’re not really looking.
Because there’s many, many guys who are not rich and have girlfriends. Come on, are you seriously not seeing all sorts of guys around you with girlfriends?
Because I do. Even when I was broke, when didn’t have my life together, I had some attention from girls (however much oblivious I was). It was very rare, but it was there, in hindsight. And most guys around me had the same, broke, ugly, whatever.
If you’re ‘developing yourself’, as you say, focusing on you being a good person, being mentally healthy, working on your social skills, working out, looking after yourself, you can ‘get girls’. Even if you’re broke. Be honest, proof is all around you.
If you’re not getting girls, you’re probably not really working on yourself, or you’re doing it the wrong way.
[–]Bobandjim12602 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not sure why he's being downvoted. It's definitely a method to both become rich and get a hot girl. I've literally seen this happen multiple times.
Yeah why tf have I been downvoted it’s legit the best way an ugly guy can get a really hot girl. If you don’t have the looks, hopefully you’ve got the brains to make it up for it haha.
[–]BurnItDownSR -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Acquire courage. It'll get you girls faster.
Then you don't have the balls to face the world with your ugly face. If you did you could develop the social skills in spite of that face.
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's pretty sad but true, especially with kids, I work with them, and the "good looking" ones always in the middle, always speaking, they have too many confidence. In the other hand, everyone ignores and hurts the ugly ones, so I already see they future.
We are aware of that, and try to help them and get rid of this ugly non ugly problem, but it's literally coded to them.
[+]sayitonmyface[S] -8 points-7 points-6 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Partly true, but you’ve conditioned yourself to think like this. There are plenty of guys who are not physically appealing but are scoring chicks like anything, now you give me the reason for that sir.
[–]InTentsInHere 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Plenty? They are the exception, not the rule.
[–]HollowLegMonk 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I don’t know, maybe it’s just me but I see guys who aren’t that attractive with average or above women all the time. I see the reverse a lot too. Not every relationship is equal in terms of looks. Most aren’t IMO usually one person is better looking than the other.
[–]InTentsInHere 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Maybe it's that men aren't as attractive as women, in general. So when you see a hot woman with a guy, you think he's not as good looking as her, but she's still with the upper echelon of good looking guys.
No I’m talking about guys who are overweight, average looking etc, that I see all the time with women who aren’t bad looking. Same with women I see who aren’t very good looking, maybe overweight etc with a guy who’s skinny and not too bad looking. It’s just not very common to see a couple who match exactly in attractiveness. This has do to with several factors such as personality comparability, but one of the biggest factors is power dynamics. A lot of people prefer to date someone less attractive them themselves because they feel like it will give them more power in the relationship and it will be less likely for their partner to reject them.
[–]InTentsInHere 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Definitely.
I think if you live in an area with a lot of wealth inequality, you'll see that too: attractive women with wealthy unattractive men. Where I live it's fairly balanced so it's rare to see any wealthy unattractive men with hot women because the wealthy married young either before they were wealthy or high-school sweethearts.
[+]sayitonmyface[S] -7 points-6 points-5 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why is it that ‘they’ are in the exception and it’s not you? Do you know the answer? And No it’s not the fucking luck. It’s because they know that whatever the cards life has dealt you, you have a choice, either to cry about it, or learn the game and win the hand.
[–]InTentsInHere 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I am the exception, dude. I am great with women despite my looks and have a crazy weekend lined up with four (!!!!) dope chicks. But I have to earn it the hard way. Let's not pretend it's a level playing field where looks are irrelevant.
[+]sayitonmyface[S] -9 points-8 points-7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What the fuck is your problem, you have women in your life, you know how to play it. What else are you crying for? Yes you have to earn it the hard way, yes it might not yield the same results but why the fuck do you expect it to be easy for you? It’s like crying to dealer Why have you been dealt with tough hand but the other guy with easy one. That’s stupid. Not every question has to be answered. That’s life. Take it or leave it. And from what you’ve written, I can tell you’re playing your hand pretty well. So keep doing that.
I get pissed off because when I'm hitting up a hottie, as soon as a handsome guy stands near her, it's game over. Sure I have a lot of success but it comes at the cost of monumental amounts of failure. I do get a bit jealous of handsome friends who just have it so easy. Why wouldn't I want the same level of easy access to hot pussy? I have to try harder, and get less. It's unfair, and it sucks. And if I have to complain about it on a message board, and hurt some handsome fellas feelings, because he wants to think he's super game master, but it's really his looks, big fucking deal.
Also what pisses me off is online dating. I've literally never had a single meetup from any app/site. Everything is in real life for me, because my looks don't cut it. And yet you'll hear women just throwing sex at hot guys. Like fuck, can I get some of that.
[–][deleted] 37 points38 points39 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
r/wowthanksimcured
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It was easy right?!
[–]Phauxstus 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
and also because you're ugly
[–]radicalspacegiant 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Okay what’s the definition of ugly? Dude you can work on yourself.
Is someone fat? Motivate yourself to lose weight.
Do you not have style? Read blogs on men’s fashion?
Weak jawline? Grow a beard.
Can’t grow a beard? Groom yourself get a good haircut/lifestyle - focus on other features.
You have acne? Everyone does. Try to get on acutane, visit a dermatologist. Take care of your skin. Hydrate.
And you do this to feel good about yourself. Not for the girls but so that you can feel good about YOU.
And you still have problems and defects? Can it be improved ? Do it. If it can’t ? Welp why bother over thinking.
More times than ever you’re hard on yourself way more than anybody else is going to be hard on you.
[–]Kevinclimbstrees 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
What if you don’t drink? Are you suppose to go out and drink sodas? I’ve done it and it’s incredibly boring. Not many other options to meet people on a Friday Saturday night except the bar, especially by yourself
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
If you’re going out alone and feeling bored then certainly you’re not in a good company. Change starts from within. It’s not about soda or drinks. It’s about whether you’re enjoying yourself first. If you’re not enjoying your own company then who’d?
[–]Kevinclimbstrees 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
It’s hard to enjoy yourself sitting at a bar watching tv when you can’t even hear the sound. I don’t dance nor would I like to, not my thing. I do enjoy shooting pool and darts but again, a bar is not a place I like to hang out on weekends.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Find some other place where you think you’d be celebrated then.
[–]Kevinclimbstrees 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Where do you recommend oh so wise one?
[–]HollowLegMonk 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask women what they do for fun. Go do those things.
The bar is just one thing to do out of thousands, and the bar is mostly for hooking up. You’ll meet higher quality women at say, an art event at a museum.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Fucking go to a mall. Stop this habit of ‘please spoon feed me’. You’ve got a problem, atleast use your brains to find a solution. Worst that’s gonna happen is you realising that place is not a worth to you. Then you go to some other place. And then another. Finally you’ll reach where you belong.
[–]Kevinclimbstrees 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I do everything that normal people do like go to the mall, restaurants, concerts, etc. If I see a girl that interests me I have no problem approaching her and asking for a number. What I don’t do is go out to a place specifically to try and meet women. Not my thing.
[–]Fiesta17 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Your problem is this mindset. You're comparing yourself to other people who are very much not you or even like you. There's no formula for finding a partner. Some people do it drunk at bars, some do it at sporting events, some do it in a library, and some even do it at church.
The common denominator is they were all doing something they either enjoyed or were obligated to, kept a good attitude about it, and crossed paths with someone they could talk to.
Focus on doing something, anything, and allow yourself to do it where you can be seen, and the birds of your feathers will flock to you. Stop following someone else's style and blaming the world for your decision making.
[–]Kevinclimbstrees 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Not blaming the world. I just think I’ve had shitty luck lately. I frequently go to the gym, hike, concerts, comedy shows, movies, restaurants, you name it I do it. I’ve approached women in every situation. I just think I’m afraid to commit. I don’t believe in marriage so that’s a big turn off for women. My parents were divorced when I was 6 months old so I didn’t know any difference. I’m not religious at all either. I spent 4 years bartending and during that time became sort of a womanizer. At that time it was too easy to pick up chicks, not even drunk ones either cause that was a turn off. I went from getting 3-5 numbers per week every single week for 4 years to now getting one a month maybe. Actually having to try in random situations is a tough transition for me.
[–]Fiesta17 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I mean, and I mean this earnestly, sounds like a lot of excuses. Theres definitely credence to exposure levels, IT guys dont have as many opportunities as a bartender for example, but the right hobby balances that quickly.
Barring the look at numbers of opportunity, its all about how you treat opportunity when it comes. Focusing on the lack of opportunity takes away from the opportunities presenting themselves. In this I speak from experience.
[–]plaze6288 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the problem. I only go out to meet a girl who also likes to hang home. I don't ever "want" to go out. I tolerate it to get what i want and women can def tell that Im not enjoying myself and would rather be home with my dogs watching netflix or playing pc games
[–]trznx 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Speak for yourself. I'm single because relationships require work and effort and I'm lazy and never finish anything I started.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sir you don’t have to answer me or anyone, if it’s a conscious decision that you’ve made about yourself or your life then kudos to you. But if you’re hiding from the part where you have to put effort into something that you created with someone(a relation as you call it) then probably you’re running from life. That’s called playing it safe. Bcoz life is not happy and cheerful emotions always. And I’ll tell you a secret, even if you manage to play it safe and try to be happy like that, it’ll get monotonous buddy. You won’t fucking like it. You’re being lazy is because you are afraid of those efforts or the bad emotions that the relationship will bring. It’s not a choice certainly, it’s fear. A fear driven life.
[–]trznx 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oof, I didn't know we were talking serious. I was half-joking, but if so
Look, I was in a long term relationship, almost 5 years. And it ended quite good, if you can say that about a 'failed' relationship — we realized we're going different difections and want different things in life and just like that we decided that it's over. We're still really good friends and she's always be an important person in my life.
Now, the most important thing I've gathered from that time is that any relathionship (friends, lovers, family) require attention and without it the enthropy of everything will slowly crush it into pieces and it will decay. You have to constantly move to stay in one place, so to say. Is it worth it? Right now I'm not sure. Of course I'd love to be in a fulfilling/loving/caring/respectful relationship, sure, but how long would it take? How much effort and time I'd have to put in it? And by the way there's never a guarantee that it'll work.
So for the time being I decided to live by myself and for myself. It's way easier. Yeah I'm not afraid of the 'bad' parts if I got you right, or the commitment, or whatever, tbh I never actually been 'hurt' by them, so no, it's not that. Maybe I'm getting 'old' but every time I think about it it feels more like work and less like something exciting, you know?
[–]plaze6288 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is so truth
[–]MrQualtrough 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Broad statement. You need to know the person to actually propose any kind of answer.
I have studied and completed psych, social psych, and a bit of biopsych but quit because it becomes too hard (neuroscience). Physical appearance is actually a very very strong factor. My social psych uni textbook actually says it is THE strongest factor and I can photo that of course.
After that is similarity, familiarity, and proximity as I recall.
Most desired personality traits are to do with similarity to the girl's own personality. Just a few are enduring such as extroversion, confidence, and low levels of neuroticism.
Well I haven’t studied psychology or anything but I can certainly tell you that being physically appealing is a plus point, probably it’s deep down rooted in our brains that being good looking has something to do with healthy genetics and that’s why we chase it. But that’s not the only criteria sir. If that was the ultimate truth then 7.6billion people wouldn’t have been here.
[–]Ensarovic 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Once I just send a follow request to a random girl, nothing special right? Then one day i look at my dm's and see the following: 'Who gave you the right to follow me you're ugly af.'
And just so you know she had like 700 followers already. Since then i haven't even thought about girls. In cloncusion: Yes i am ugly
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
‘In conclusion: yes i am ugly’ wow, I pity you bud, the way you’re concluding yourself or rather your life, with a remark from a girl who doesn’t even know you. The level of self respect that you have is too low. Talk some sense man, who the fuck is she to validate you. Why the fuck is your self worth so low that you have to take someones validation.
[–]Fiesta17 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Recognizing that oneself is ugly doesn't always mean self pity or low self esteem. Just a matter of fact understanding of one's life.
Allowing a shallow bitch from IG dictate your feelings about an entire gender, that is low self esteem.
Even if you're a cyclops, doesn't give that bitch the right to say shit like that to you. Ugly people are beautiful in their own ways (Susan Boyle, anyone?) and anyone stopping at physical appearance isn't worth your beautiful time. Not everyone even cares about physical appearance.
[–]xileine 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Put yourself in that girl's shoes: would you react like that because somebody is ugly? Nah. She was reacting for her own mysterious life-issue reasons, nothing to do with you. She just wanted to hurt you (or to hurt someone) and decided that you looked like the type of person who calling "ugly" would work as an effective insult, i.e. someone who would be sensitive about their appearance. She was bullying you. And it worked, it seems.
(If you were actually just ugly, and that was 100% of the reason she was mad at you for following her, she would have probably said something entirely different, because she'd assume that you'd have heard insults about your appearance enough that you'd be immune to those, so she'd try to think of something else you might be sensitive about.)
[–]martian009 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Actually you're single because you lack confidence and have a low self esteem 😊😊
Asking me or telling me?
[–]functionalsociopathy 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I'm single because I spent too long getting over my trust issues during by teens and early adulthood so now any of the women in my life who are worth being with are already in a relationship, engaged, or otherwise unavailable.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
7.6 fucking billion people, roughly half of it women, roughly 1/3 of your age bracket, thats still in millions. And you think all of these millions are not available?
[–]functionalsociopathy 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think the ones I interact with fall into one of a few categories: in a committed relationship, in a social situation where they don't want to start a relationship, a co-worker, 30+ and/or already has kids, single for a very good reason (sending out red flags like a soccer ref), or the once in a while case of a single and datable person. It's been a while since I've met one from that last category. I admit that I could find a new social group, I just need to work up the motivation.
[–]Bockon 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is me except I still haven't worked through my fucked up childhood. So, rope is likely in my future.
[–]Mylaur 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's a bit ridiculous to think of this way even though it's "maths"
[–]Fiesta17 -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
Nah, it's because you think like this, not because of this.
Edit: Not everyone is "already in a relationship, engaged, or otherwise unavailable." Millions of people aren't. If the ones you knew are than go meet new ones and quit blaming the world for your setbacks.
[–]functionalsociopathy 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That's true, not everyone is in a relationship, engaged, or otherwise unavailable. The ones that aren't tend to be single for very good reasons. There are exceptions to this, but not often. Also, I'm not blaming anyone so don't worry your little world view is safe. I made a correction to a blanket statement.
[–]Fiesta17 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
the ones that aren't tend to be single for very good reasons
I know you meant because they're psychotic or abusive or diseased but this just proves that you're the one with the "little world view"
There are soooooooooo many good reasons like, they came from an abusive family and took time to learn to love themselves and are beautiful people because of it. They had a cheater/Machiavelli of an ex they were with when they were young and it made them socially awkward, just like you, in their developing years. They used to be heavily involved in the church until they finally came to their senses. The exceptions are not few and far between, they're everywhere.
You're so narrow minded its no wonder your thoughts are constipated.
The exceptions are not few and far between, they're everywhere.
And yet I only seem to encounter one for every few hundred that I meet.
Also, there's nothing wrong with being involved in the Church as long as you don't insert personal values and local tradition into the gospel. Are you sure you're not just seeing what you want to see?
[–]Fiesta17 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And yet I only seem to encounter one for every few hundred that I meet
Right there. That's your problem. Anecdotal evidence does not mean it's the truth, just what you're choosing to focus on. Just like those stupid pictures online "is the dress blue or Grey" "are these shoes Grey or pink" etc. what our perception tells us is not the truth, just what we think.
Are you sure you're not just seeing what you want to see
This is literally the best example of irony I have ever seen plainly because of what I said in the first paragraph. I'm not telling you my perspective, I see most women as hornier deviants than men could ever dream of being. There is such an abundance of single women, even if I were to have one immediately after another, there a more out there than I could get through in a hundred years. Yet here I sit, single, but that's because of personal traumas I'm trying to work through, not external factors like "I'm not seeing them" even thought that's the mentality I came from.
And the argument of "there must be a good reason they're single" is the most stupid argument I've ever come across. If that were true, what does that say about the men in that situation? Especially since men are usually going for younger women. (not saying you've argued this, just throwing it out there)
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Alright let's say in leave my house where now
[–]Bobandjim12602 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes to all of those, also I'm ugly. Ha! I swallowed those no problem.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Work on your physical appearance, if not your natural appearance.
[–]Bobandjim12602 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Was joking bro. I'm all about that hygiene and gym life.
Don’t make an effort is more accurate
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You mean not being needy I guess, or rather an abundant mindset.
[–]andrest93 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And I am also ugly
[–]Wolf__Queen 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel personally attacked
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
how do i get social skills i don't even have friends. My early life was really abusive.
Practice. You're gonna fail, and it's gonna be embarrassing. Do it anyway. Go on vacation somewhere away from home and practice if you don't want to live with your mistakes
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Find them in books, podcast, videos.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
easier said then done what books what podcasts what videos?
Books-The way of the superior man, how to win friends and influence people. Podcast-mark manson Videos- RSD(youtube)
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Everywhere Man! Go outside and talk with people.
[–]HeatLightning 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
There are tons of reasons why a particular person is single. Only the person in question can really say.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I know its a choice. But we need to be aware whether it’s a conscious choice or an unconscious one.
[–]HeatLightning 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Sure, and I guess to some people posts like this can be helpful. I was just trying to point out the obvious with my useless comment 😀.
Personally, I was single most of my life because I was afraid to express sexual/romantic attraction, despite being quite good looking and outgoing.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Glad that you’re truthful to yourself. It shows confidence and self acceptance. Good for you bud.
[–]HeatLightning 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks! Yes, I've become muuuch more self accepting and confident over the years. I think those two things are intertwined :-).
Indeed they are. Everyone’s got their own learning graph. But what people don’t realise is that, that graph can be curved as per you need. You are the designer of your own life and not any power sitting in the sky, dictating our fates.
[–]ZlatanAgrees 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because i dont know where i should go and how to learn social skills haha
[–]gtrman571 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed - Now how to get social skills?
This hit home hard
You are single maybe because you just want to!?
What’s with the ‘maybe’? You either are or you you are not. If that maybe is there then think probably it’s not the choice that has put you in this but it’s rather something else, insecurities ‘maybe’?
[–]TheBackstreetNet 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For me it's just the first part. I can chat up girls, I just never give myself the opportunity to do so.
[–]iwantrootbark 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]YaniMN 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It has nothing to do with social skills. We just forgot everything about conversation or any social skills plus after 9/11 and high school shootings or any kind of shootings is making people really shallow and reserved and paranoid. Of course, we have learned to think like computers and we just do stupid short chat which is basically twittering.
Watch videos from the 1950s where people talk and exchange ideas respectfully and with class and mindful manner. Now is no sense and everybody wants to reassert themselves by all means necessary.
Why not both?
Got autism, in my case that means I can't handle sounds well and I'm a social wreck, so no bars for me or going shopping or other loud places, I'm ugly as well as overweight, the only thing I've got is dating apps and when in 4 months time you only get talked to like once or twice and 99% of the time they stop talking to me because ''haha small penis'' it destroys any and all self confidence you've got even further so at this point I'm fully convinced I'm just going to die without ever getting into a relatinship or having had sex.
Like it sounds nice ''just go out more!'' but it's not some magic cure that works.
i have social skills, i just dont trust women and let them close, they show interest, but i wont go any further. my love life is over... im 25
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bud just remember this, emotions are never permanent. They do trick you to believe that you’d last forever with these emotions but that ain’t true. So take what you feel, don’t resist. Bcoz it’s not going to remain as it is.
[–]zhico 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Try going to the date with a mindset of giving rather than gaining.
True that.
[–]chief_yETI 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
lack of trying, in other words
We don’t try things because either they are not important to us or we don’t have the necessary skillset to handle them(making us feel afraid and so we quit).
[–]zzw30-brix 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well shit you’re right
[–]GalaxyFireworks 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I actually had the opposite problem where I was trying to find someone to introvert with me since I seem to spend hardly any time at home! haha
[–]gigolobob 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hard pill to awallow
[–]RossTheNinja 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]vexroa7v 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dang
[–]HunkSeven 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I feel attacked because I'm above average looking and fitted. Yet...it's the effing Sahara desert near me
Be the fucking king of that desert then.
[–]HunkSeven 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm trying
[–][deleted] 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
You are an average of the 5 people you hangout with most. So if you want to be amazing at social skills hangout with those amazing people. If you can’t find them in real life, find them in books, podcast, videos.
[–]GrammarNazi25 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes but what if I'm actually ugly
That’s just an upper layer of you. Yes people are superficial these days but not everyone. Some do want to know the content of the book, and not reject it but it’s title.
[–]bigboyish 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol yes sirrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I feel attacked.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot here did.
[–]AsterixLV 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't say
[–]NoFap_FV 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Ok, swallowed the pill. What now smart pants?
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Gosh! Have some patience will ya?! Let it digest. Mean time why don’t you listen to some of mark mansons podcast.
[–]NoFap_FV 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Allright will do, thanks.
‘The way of the superior man’ read it.
[–]11nealp 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How does one acquire the socials.
Theory (from books, videos, podcast, or a social group from where you can learn) + practical.
It broke you because you are the kind of person who runs on other people’s validation for you. The self-talk that goes in your mind is not working for you, it’s working against you. Change it, before someone gives you a real pill to do that.
It’s tough to be a wussy I know. That’s ok, be like this. No one’s gonna harm you.
Just putting this out there. If you have no social skills
https://www.youtube.com/user/charismaoncommand
These guys taught me most of what I use to meet people and make good first impressions as well as architypical people and their skills and how to add them too my arsenal of Charisma. Can also be a confident boosting channel.
Second. IF you're gonna go meet people. Why not start a kareoke bar. Cause nothing screams confidence like singing Agadoo to a crowd of strangers.
Bingo!
[–]MeleeBroLoL 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How to fix. Send help plz.
[–]TeddehBear 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]eekozoid 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Por que no los dos?
[–]rap1102 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh fuck ow
[–]-BroncosForever- 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It could be both. So this post might be a slap in the face for some hahah
[–]clitorally-minded 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not the case that every one who has the same problem has it for the same reason, I see a lot of guys saying, "I don't meeting a lot of women because x and y and z so I never leave my apartment." Uh, how do you know that you wouldn't meet more women if you went outside once in a while?
[–]Pollo_Jack 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jokes on you, met my wife in cal three. We're alone together. She plays the sims next to me while I play pvp games.
[–]DennyBenny 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am glad I am not having to date in today's world.
Triggered.
And also" you" watch porn and smoke weed and eat snacks
[–]winningace 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And, please STOP idolising social media thots! It's as effective as cat calling. You'll be an incel for life.
[–]Theoldage2147 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No! I'm single because 5/11 and not 6 foot! I wan't easy pill waaaaa!!
Yep this exactly. But girls don't grow on trees so I'm not sure the answer to this problem.
Older you get the worse it gets too so after you hit 25 might as well just prepare for being single forever
Shut up
[–]nibbi43215 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
this is soo me :( I am weak at socializing with people and I dont know how to overcome this though i am trying
[–]TiedHands 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is true for some, but mine is truly because I'm ugly. I have great social skills and am out and about all the time. I have a very cool social circle, etc. I just happen to be horribly unattractive and that negates it all.
[–]lovelyafterthoughts 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same difference FeelsBadMan
[–]SgtMajMythic 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think it’s both tbh
There are no places where guys can get their start out, especially for guys older than 25... How do you expect guys to learn anything if you make it too difficult to actually develop any confidence? Especially when girls have this expectation that guys will just magically know what to do when girls send them signals, and magically have the confidence to go for it despite never having any prior experience...
[–]Fun2badult 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That really is a hard pill
Lol you’re probably right. But I try my best
[–]bradfordp 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have something different for you to swallow that would Make you popular!
[–]redsing92 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
True
[–]thanoscarsdead 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No I'm single because somehow no girl sees me as a potential partner lmao
[–]BarracudaRP 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Swallow This: There's profound wisdom in this post, but most of the comments are still excuses from Men who are not finding success. This comment is for you.
The Rules of Attraction cannot be negotiated. To educate yourself on attraction or seduction is good and fine. If you still aren't finding success with women, it's natural to wonder why. But to blame social media, dating apps, Society at large, feminism, or the success of other men with whom you are competing, is not only an excuse. It is a self-limiting thought that will prevent men here from finding the very things that they need the most (most often, identifying their own role in what has made them unattractive, such as being in a lack mindset instead of an abundance mindset. Women can smell your neediness a mile away.)
The Rules of Attraction don't change after you begin dating or even after marriage, this is not something you only need to master briefly. The core principle of Attraction is that you must work on yourself first as a man to increase your Value on the sexual marketplace, and to stop doing things that are so damn unattractive. You're not going to learn that by exchanging excuses with others who have the same problem.
Your internal frame (the way you see yourself, your world and your position in it) is crucial to displaying to others (women and men alike) that you are a high-value attractive man. Lifting weights is not just for Chads. Talking less shows you are high value. Practicing getting phone numbers is not just for professional pickup artists. This is also why JUST getting out of the house, or NOT being socially awkward is not enough on its own (although they help).
Being outgoing and friendly and having friends who tell you "you have a great personality", is not attraction. In fact, it's often quite the opposite. Attraction is generated, particularly in women, by men who are not afraid to say no, to take what they want, to walk away when they don't get it, and exercise a complete outcome Independence which comes from that frame mentioned earlier.
There are resources out there for men who are frustrated in relationships. I know, because I used to be one of them. There is no magic list of pickup lines (but once you're ready for live examples, RSDMax is a treasure trove). There is no arriving at some Holy Grail of attraction where I no longer have to participate in the game, or where I no longer have to try, but rather: I'm on a path of not only creating an attractive self, but intertwining it with my own process of self-actualization, if you can believe that from a random comment on a seduction Reddit.
Then at some point we realize that becoming the highest version of yourself is a much better mission than pussy, and that's when the real fun begins.
Easy pill to swallow for me...I've know that and been working on it for a long time and have improved greatly.
but why are you attacking us defenseless folk like this ?
[–]ArkaStevey 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seems about right
Naw, I'm single because I loath myself. I wanna beat the living shit out of myself when I see my reflection in the mirror. But I'm working on it. It's hard. But first thing first. I have to learn to forgive myself and lastly learn to love myself. Because right now, I wouldn't mind if someone shot me in the head.
[–]Seibzehn17 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Broe this sucks I can relate with the house part badly; my parents won't let me leave my house and I got a snitch grandmother that'll tell if i do
I left my country 10 years ago. Still have no social skills and I'm NOT ugly!
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
I’m single cause deez hoez ain’t loyal bruh
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Lol, my last was like this. But hey, nothing to worry, plenty of fish in the sea.
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Literally every woman I’ve dated has been an unloyal thot
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
1) First thats not you, could be a coincidence. 2) If it ain’t first(and you know it) the remember this bud ‘You attract what you are and not what you want’. And in that case - change your vibe.
[–]Sublem0n 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
I disagree. If this person is only dating "unloyal thots" then what does it say about him? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 years ago* (11 children) | Copy Link
That I’m living in a culture that promotes female degeneracy
[–]Sublem0n 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
INCEL ALERT, INCEL ALERT, INCEL ALERT
hint, the problem is YOU
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link
You don’t even know me and you’re calling me an incel based on a problem that is quite common for not only men, but women too. By simply holding a critical lens with respect to dating in contemporary western culture, I am automatically a bad guy in your perspective. Get a life lol.
Dating is hard, I think everyone knows this.
[–]Sublem0n 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Blaming others is a classic incel tactic in life. Think critically of yourself instead of saying "it's a common problem". No it's not lol. Self improvement and change is difficult... Dating is not
You may not be an incel now, but with that line of thought you damn near might be
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Yes it is. Lots of people get disappointed by the people they date and can even develop a jaded perspective. It’s pretty common. Negating the truth does not help you win internet arguments friend.
As for me, I date with good intentions. Usually learn down the line a woman is sleeping with multiple guys- keeping it a secret, get disgusted and move on. It’s pretty common.
[–]2023Bor 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
belongs here: r/2meirl4meirl
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Epilator is what you need then.
I also have got long hair. I don’t get thick beard, but then fuck that, I’m awesome anyway ;)
[–]Visualize_ 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then get a haircut?
[–]Alliaenor -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
People who tell that are always good looking or at least average, that's funny
[–]BurnItDownSR -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Found the guy who can't swallow the pills!
[–]Alliaenor 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh, i swallowed the pill long time ago, don't worry
[–]Highschooldropout001 -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
stupidest post ever
some people choose to be single
others do not want to be single
they go out and got social skills plus they look somewhat decent
yet they cant get a bitch
[–]missgnar 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ew, for the record, most women are vehemently turned off by the “can’t get a bitch” mentality & attitude.
[–]Highschooldropout001 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
its ok to call women bitches
they call themselfs bitches
they let rappers and musicians call them bitches
so why not normal people like me.
Women arent turned off by it
women are confused and they dont even know themselfs
you callling a women miss and madem will turn her dry
not wet ! and you will be friendzoned my nigga
[–]missgnar 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh sorry, you’re 14. I should have realized sooner. So sorry, I’ll see myself out.
This is a very narrow view of a tiny subsection of a small culture compared to the big picture.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Social skills is a very broad term. Seduction is part of it. So be precise what you have, skills to seduce or skills to socialise.
[–]Highschooldropout001 -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
you dont need skills
if your good looking
she either likes you or dont
its that simple
no pickup line will change her mind
If you aren’t seeking out for skills then why even lurking here on r/seduction bud. We all know it’s not JUST the looks, there’s something apart from looks which distinguishes you from that good looking guy at the bar. What is that? Is it the charm(that you learned to fabricate and now is natural to you) or is it something else? Do figure it out on yourself.
[–]Highschooldropout001 -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
if you have autism remmeber ur fucked too
Go for an autist then. No offence.
[–]hruebsj3i6nunwp29 -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
(X) Doubt
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
is this a suppository
[–]eelnitsud -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My trick to not finding a girlfriend is to always be traveling and working OT in an industry where there are no women.
[–]Goldenpanda18 -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I feel attacked, but seriously I needed this
This thing my prof used to tell us. That there are two types of people. 1) people who’re more like a Push-start- They always need some external push to get through in life. 2) People who are self-start- who are self motivated.
Always strive to be the latter one bud.
[–]SouthernOhioRedsFan -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
LOL! False!
[–]sayitonmyface[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Reveal the truth then sir.
[–]SouthernOhioRedsFan -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Simple: Looks = everything.
[–]sayitonmyface[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
mind blown away
[–]Fiesta17 -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Correlation =/= causation
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[–]cactiguy18 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Solanthas 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cactiguy18 8 points9 points10 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]blackberrydoughnuts 7 points8 points9 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]cactiguy18 1 point2 points3 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]blackberrydoughnuts 9 points10 points11 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]cactiguy18 9 points10 points11 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]blackberrydoughnuts 11 points12 points13 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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[–]int-enzo 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Solanthas 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Undiscriminatingness 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fiesta17 9 points10 points11 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Solanthas 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]cactiguy18 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Fiesta17 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GomboAndGimlee 4 points5 points6 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]cactiguy18 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]poporn69 4 points5 points6 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]cactiguy18 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]cactiguy18 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Solanthas 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]cactiguy18 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]cactiguy18 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Fiesta17 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]ChuckEJesus 5 points6 points7 points (9 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Sublem0n 10 points11 points12 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Schroef 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]BurnItDownSR -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–][deleted] 22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Kevinclimbstrees 5 points6 points7 points (9 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Kevinclimbstrees 3 points4 points5 points (7 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Fiesta17 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Fiesta17 -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]HeatLightning 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]HeatLightning 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]gtrman571 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]sayitonmyface[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]YaniMN 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]sayitonmyface[S] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zhico 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]sayitonmyface[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Sublem0n 3 points4 points5 points (12 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Sublem0n 2 points3 points4 points (10 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Sublem0n 1 point2 points3 points (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]BurnItDownSR -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Alliaenor 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Highschooldropout001 -3 points-2 points-1 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]missgnar 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Highschooldropout001 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]missgnar 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fiesta17 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Highschooldropout001 -2 points-1 points0 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Highschooldropout001 -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]hruebsj3i6nunwp29 -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]eelnitsud -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Goldenpanda18 -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sayitonmyface[S] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SouthernOhioRedsFan -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]SouthernOhioRedsFan -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Fiesta17 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link