Constantly getting ghosted after sex.

NPC1990 · 2024-06-30T23:06:29+00:00

Probably not good in bed or they aren’t looking for more than that.

SkippyHickenlooper04 · 2024-07-01T01:08:04+00:00

Maybe try dating women instead of having one night stands? One night stands are not the way to find a good woman and “settle down”.

Twister6900 · 2024-06-30T23:25:37+00:00

Is alcohol involved? Maybe they regret having sex and find it too awkward to explain to you or are afraid of you getting upset. I’ve heard woman say that before.

Jironasaurus · 2024-07-01T00:29:33+00:00

Could be bad sex. But retention has mostly to do with either lifestyle, or yourself.

notmarkcubaniswear · 2024-06-30T23:20:16+00:00

you gotta learn how to slow roll it

Desperate-Summer-463 · 2024-07-01T03:27:20+00:00

To me it sounds like you have to make a somewhat minor adjustment and redirect your effort towards a more appropriate direction. You're doing better than most guys already just by taking control of your situation and getting laid.

There was a point when I went thru the same thing that you're going thru. I was smashing somewhat often with the end goal of having a variety of sex partners in rotation. I was taking care of business in bed but I noticed that after having sex with a new chick every week for a couple months or so I still only had one or two girls I could count on for guaranteed hookups.

If you want a girl to stick around you should focus on building a connection instead of prioritizing sex. You don't even have to worry about having sex when you're dealing with a woman who is attracted to you because It doesn't take any effort to have sex with a woman who's attracted to you. All you have to do is be confident and not do anything that'll turn her off for long enough to be alone with her. It's literally that easy. If you focus on building a connection with her, then sex is just a formality as it should be when interacting with a woman who is attracted to you.

When it comes to the quality of sex, as long as you're presentable, clean and not a two pump chump with micro penis you're good to go. If you can get her to orgasm with foreplay, last 5-7 minutes and you can also communicate and take heed to what it is that she likes, you won't be seen as a guy who's bad at sex. If you're just good enough at sex, but you share a strong connection she'd enjoy sex with you way more than if you weren't connected so well. With women sex, your looks and your money are just a part of the whole package. That's why you see guys with women who have a higher smv than them. Think of the broke guys, funny looking guys and yes even fat guys with attractive women who are also faithful to them. It's mostly in the connection, the quality of the woman you choose and how you make them feel.

If you're already a fairly decent Sex partner then don't worry about sex so much. Sex is like your favorite food or treat. Even when it's bad it's still enjoyable. You really gotta fuck up bad and completely ignore the instructions to make your favorite food or treat unbearable. sex is kinda similar in a way.

Majestic_Bet6187 · 2024-07-01T01:53:47+00:00

I wish I had your problems lmaoo

Dismal-Revolution941 · 2024-07-01T02:13:56+00:00

The reason is because you give off the impression that all you want is to hook as you said you are having one night stands. Going on dates with women will give them the impression you are looking for a relationship

Onlymoneyleft · 2024-07-01T08:24:20+00:00

Eat more pussy man. Give her the hawk tua.

NomDePseudo · 2024-07-01T00:19:52+00:00

Do they know you want more? Assuming you’re actually pleasing these women in bed and don’t have some weird hygiene issues, they may assume you only want sex because you aren’t direct about setting up follow up dates. If you’re texting about “hanging out” women will read that as “he just wants to fuck.” If you like these women, and trust if they slept with you, they probably like you, state that directly. Being vague or nonchalant is how a lot of men end up with high body counts, but no relationship.

Onzalimey · 2024-07-01T05:04:00+00:00

Need to get better in bed. Even one night stands drunk will come back if you are. Although a lot less likely. Building a connecting and having chemistry is always the best way to have her likely come back though

JuelzyT · 2024-07-01T01:46:53+00:00

You aren’t giving them anything more to look forward to. Trust me, I come across the same issues, but I know what I’m doing lol. If you have a great time, then have long, energetic, exhausting incredible sex, the woman has nothing else to look forward to…I don’t understand it, but that’s just the way it is! Try not to get too sexual on the first date and get to know them more. Women can be just like men! Be careful.

Bebe_hillz · 2024-07-01T02:46:42+00:00

People are saying you're bad at sex but what im willing to bet is that you dont even do any real forplay. Have you gone for the 101DeathTriangle rule???

EdUNC- · 2024-07-01T00:21:08+00:00

How often do your date lead to sex?

AzizLiIGHT · 2024-07-01T02:36:42+00:00

For a long time, i was good enough to bang but not to date.

I was pretty confident, but dressed poorly and didn’t have a lot going for me in terms of life goals and finance. Get all your ducks in a row, grooming, fitness, and career mainly (among other personal development traits) and you will be a prize for these chicks.

CanoodleCandy · 2024-07-01T04:05:58+00:00

... you are having one night stands and expecting a relationship?!

You've skipped like 10 steps?

You need to get to know someone. Find common ground. Compatability is important. Friendship.

Your dick isn't going to keep anyone around. Dick is abundant and therefore low value.

domdomdom333 · 2024-07-01T08:37:42+00:00

Bro, you're already winning, a lot of us don't even get to the get laid part.

BritishBatman · 2024-07-01T09:18:14+00:00

As Eminem said "I've never in a club, met a woman worth knowing". I mean I don't agree with it really, but if you're meeting these women in clubs, then sleeping with them a few hours later, they're not going to want anything more after that. I can't remember what it's called, but there's a phenomenon where if you sleep with a girl too quickly, before you've built comfort, they'll get a feeling of sluttiness, which obviously most don't want.

Sandvicheater · 2024-07-01T01:35:07+00:00

Look I say this without any shade or beef OP but do you have a small dick?

heraldos · 2024-07-01T05:26:39+00:00

Go to latino dance they teach you how manage the woman body. Learn how to make oral sex to a girl. Dont open your soul after sex only enjoy the moment

GreekGamerHere · 2024-06-30T22:50:02+00:00

One night stand is awkward horny sex. It's not meant to lead to serious relationships as you don't connect with the other person. Dating leads to relationships, pure sex ends at sex.

Ronnyvar · 2024-07-01T01:30:35+00:00

It’s more likely that people just don’t settle down anymore, relationships are almost a thing of the past

Objective-Piano7112 · 2024-06-30T22:58:00+00:00

You're clearly bad at sex

Velvettouch89 · 2024-07-01T04:17:31+00:00

Women don't fall in love after sleeping with a guy one time. Don't communicate long term relationship. Go with the flow, have fun. Text the next day " last night was fire" and leave it alone. If they reach out, set a second date. Leave the talking to in person, keep texting minimum. Give them space if they want it. Do not chase. They're feeling you out. Don't get mad, creepy, clingy, or upset. Chill. There's more to it but this is it in a nutshell

Foxito_007 · 2024-07-01T08:11:49+00:00

Im in the same boat as you, lol. Every month, I meet about 30 potential women, but they see me as a playboy and only want something physical to boost their low ego . Some even say, 'We have 2 hours to do it.' I get defensive and tell them, 'You don't pay me for my services, so treat me with respect, not like a paid escort.' I guess we look good and sell ourselves well, but maybe we're not as great in bed as we think! 😂. Finally , Very very few cases they fall in love after the physical( 1%)

UnparliamentaryTea · 2024-07-01T08:57:06+00:00

Do you text these girls again after you hook up with them? What do those look like? Also, I’m hoping and assuming you’re building connection through pillow talk and that sort of thing night of.

It sounds like everything builds to the sex and then once that’s done, that’s it. Doesn’t mean you’re bad in bed, you could be amazing, but there’s nothing to keep her coming back.

Not sure if this helps, but something I’ve learned the hard way is that you should be really direct about your interest in her. Sometimes it can be awkward to broach the topic of having her come over again so you want to play coy, but at the end of the day, you’re two grown adults who had sex and that’s not something you need to hide. If you can let her know you’re thinking about her, enjoyed the sex, and want to do it again in a way that’s playful, direct, and not creepy, it should work out for you. At least it’s better than just normal pleasantries like “hey how are you?” as a follow up would be

DependentAd1504 · 2024-07-01T11:47:39+00:00

Don't just make them cum. Make their legs shiver. And yeah talk about that emotional stuff for the long term Relationships.

KahnKlingonme · 2024-07-01T16:42:41+00:00

Either you weren't up to their standards or they can smell that you wanted more than just sex.

Custer99 · 2024-07-01T18:59:22+00:00

See I wish I had this problem, I try and keep it casual and they always seem to want more and I feel bad.. that being said agree with the comments take things slow

herder123 · 2024-07-01T20:12:32+00:00

I’m in the same boat as u buddy

A-sop-D · 2024-07-01T20:49:56+00:00

OP mastered blackjack and gets bummed he's losing at poker.

DraconianOz · 2024-07-01T01:31:19+00:00

Don’t sleep with them first date. When you do that they obviously think it’s a one night thing.

twat_muncher · 2024-07-01T00:22:01+00:00

How are you meeting these people? It sounds like night game if it leads to a ONS. If you want a long term partner you gotta do the romantic thing and go on dates, and not try to fuck immediately.

Matthi889 · 2024-07-01T00:24:20+00:00

I’m guessing you are good looking dude..

NewOCLibraryReddit · 2024-07-01T00:26:15+00:00

[rant]

vin9889 · 2024-07-01T01:17:08+00:00

If you are a boy or girl, then both have different responses

BravoPUA · 2024-07-01T03:38:37+00:00

Triangular Theory of Love

What are you missing?

https://thebravohood.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Triangular-Theory-of-Love.jpg

Triangular Theory of Love

Psykisktrakassering1 · 2024-07-01T04:18:50+00:00

Where are you getting your one night stands?

If you are messing with only party girls, club girls, and yeah, it may turn out that way.

You attempt to debunk the possibility that you arent good in bed by saying that you have had some girls cum multiple times with you, but still leave.

Ok, what about the rest.

Also, what are you sayinng to girls leading up to sex? What are you texting them? How do you treat them?

burncushlikewood · 2024-07-01T04:41:41+00:00

I have the exact opposite problem, if the girls you're seeing are ghosting you it could be a few reasons, one could be bad sex, another could be you not giving them enough space or feeling any emotional spark. If it's the emotional spark you may need to focus on your inner game and finding a way to illicit a strong emotional spark from these women

MightyMagicz · 2024-07-01T04:48:37+00:00

You need to improve your fucking. Last longer and do multi-shots if you can. Also make sure they come and understand what turns them on and do it. So they keep coming back.

david-lee-roth- · 2024-07-01T05:11:26+00:00

You’re likely finding people that just wanna have sex with you. Are you really attractive? Do you have sexual features they’re looking for? Are they player types? Maybe slow it down a little if you want? Get to know them first. save sex till you really like them.

0xzeo · 2024-07-01T06:36:15+00:00

Well if you want to marry, get married and then have sex. It's always been like that "but what if the sex sucks", you work it out together as it should be

sentientsea · 2024-07-01T07:00:58+00:00

If you're getting one night stands you're not making girlfriends. You gotta hold back on the first meet to make a girlfriend

chance1829 · 2024-07-01T07:27:34+00:00

Probably you are quite bad in bed. Maybe there is some feature that is even universally repulsive. Women generally feel attachment much stronger than men do after sex and so if women are turning you down systematically there is some major problem with you, which is discoverable only during or after sex…

Tatleman68 · 2024-07-01T07:28:24+00:00

Have you tried focusing on the relationship itself without having sex immediately. Reject the sex and delay it

rm0234 · 2024-07-01T07:41:55+00:00

you're a probably terrible root

greg-- · 2024-07-01T08:01:28+00:00

POSSIBLY Bad Hygiene. If you can’t figure out why you’re getting cut off that most likely means there aren’t any obvious factors (to you). So narrow it down to things that these individuals sense that you don’t…. Your poor hygiene. I’ve been with some very attractive people that Ive cut off shortly after sex due to this.

Realistic_Guava9117 · 2024-07-01T09:11:25+00:00

What is your typical order of events to you getting a one night stand at a bar or club?

And also on tinder and fetlife, do you just get straight to the point and say hookup? You don’t even go on a date?

Difficult-Papaya1529 · 2024-07-01T11:47:09+00:00

Analyze your game

rainyday556 · 2024-07-01T12:25:39+00:00

Trying to settle down with a one night stand is probably not the best choice.

Striking-Estimate225 · 2024-07-01T12:38:39+00:00

move on

br00kish · 2024-07-01T13:27:45+00:00

If you make sex the only thing you offer, it has to be stellar. If women aren’t returning for more, the sex isn’t stellar, no matter how good you think you are in bed. You might think they are cumming multiple times but they probably aren’t, maybe just faking it to get the act over with. Try offering something other than sex (like companionship).

Silly_Randy · 2024-07-01T14:19:54+00:00

You've had decent responses.

Now tell us your game. Breakdown it down bro. Mans wanna get laid.

12amoore · 2024-07-01T14:30:16+00:00

Lmao “looking to settle down but every single one night stand leads to anything”

Is this a troll post? Do you really think after a 1 night stand anyone is gonna take you seriously for a long term relationship? Cmon

The_grass_ceiling · 2024-07-01T14:34:52+00:00

Here's an idea. Don't have sex so early .

Game for the sake of relationship is a bit of tweaking. Comfort and attraction are way more important . Sure sexual tension too, but you wanna keep it constant and not escalate to sex .

Only when she's in over her head do you spring the mattress on her

Research how to hit her pleasure spots more. Pro tip - when attempting missionary lift her legs up and hold her butt cheeks while you pump. Try to lean and rub your dick towards her stomach as you slide in.

Also if you not 20 anymore get on the treadmill and do some cardio. Stamina is hugely important to perform well for longer periods.

Get a Viagra or it's derivatives for extra support

And keep sex on the back burner until after date 5-7

TheGirlIUsedToKnow93 · 2024-07-01T14:43:25+00:00

I mean you said it in your post- one night stand so why would you expect a meaningful relationship from that. Not to mention it seems like you only want a gf cause your friend said you can’t keep a woman, like almost trying to prove to your buddies that you can do something. Lastly no girl wants a guy who has community dick. Like literally public property, it’s not attractive to women. Men might think that type of thing is cool to show off to your buddies but then here you are “can’t keep a woman” and feeling sad about one night stands. I guess male validation isn’t a good thing after all.

MermaidOfScandinavia · 2024-07-01T14:45:01+00:00

My advice is to wait with the sex until you have been on a few dates with a person who you like. They will probably not leave if they get invested in you emotionally.

ThaBromar · 2024-07-01T15:04:37+00:00

Sounds to me like you weren’t good in bed. If they hit you back up for another hook up, or even a date, you did something right in the bedroom

dexbigshlong · 2024-07-01T15:07:16+00:00

how hard is it for you to get a one night stand

billoverbeck00 · 2024-07-01T15:10:38+00:00

I have the opposite problem, if I don’t have sex with them after the first date I ALWAYS get ghosted but every time I do have sex they always stick around funny how that works..

Efficient-Age-5870 · 2024-07-01T15:26:02+00:00

the proof is in the pudding my mans

onyxS4int · 2024-07-01T15:33:04+00:00

Don’t overthink it, most folks in hookup culture, guys and gals, are are just looking to up their numbers and hit their quotas. If you want a gf/wife you need to start dating that style. Go on REAL dates and only date high quality women and make your intentions clear from the start. 99% will be scared away and filtered out, the 1% who don’t will be the top 1% of women, take your pick from there. FYI this is a lot of work!

katsumi907 · 2024-07-01T16:54:39+00:00

Why are you going for one night stands then wondering why they ended up as just that “one night stands”.

wspg23 · 2024-07-01T18:37:14+00:00

Lmao I thought I posted this bc same 😂😂

beanenator3000 · 2024-07-01T22:51:04+00:00

Try and think back on what were some consistencies on behavior, how they talked, or conducted themselves that could potentially lead to that “one night stand” mentality. Or ask some hard hitting questions regarding what you would want from a relationship. If they don’t match up to your standards, politely decline them and look for a woman more of your speed.

dobbs1997 · 2024-07-01T23:22:47+00:00

lol why did that comment hurt you though..?

Equal-Appointment461 · 2024-07-02T00:57:10+00:00

easy. cardio bro. it mean you suck during sex. I had the same problem. I do cardio everyday and i'm fucking like a dog or ox. killing them. cardi bro. everyday for 1 hour no matter what. You'll thank me later.

HowToStud · 2024-07-02T01:12:29+00:00

D might not be good enough but you might be getting also be getting too attached after sex. That can scare girls away even if they do want a commitment.

FIVE_6_MAFIA · 2024-07-02T05:43:36+00:00

Women use men for sex, too. It's weird, even if you make them cum they will still ghost

nicasreddit · 2024-07-02T11:52:30+00:00

No woman who wants a ltr wants a person who is constantly out there looking to satisfy himself with different women.

How are you showing that you want a long term relationship? I think you need to research what qualities begets ltr and do a lot of emotional work. Yes you will need to change but are you able to put in all the work involved? If not this is how it will continue. “Making the cum multiple times” doesn’t make women stay, it honestly shows your mindset that that is all you’re willing to give

straffingmachine · 2024-07-02T16:16:24+00:00

Simple. Terrible sex. No one gets a taste of a good food and does not return for more. Instead of being defensive, look inward and try to see what may not be working well.

Wonder-Ambitious · 2024-07-02T17:22:28+00:00

Haha!

digitaldisgust · 2024-07-03T05:24:12+00:00

You're probably garbage in bed or the girl(s) just wanted some quick fun and you misread the situation thinking they want a full-on relationship.

digitaldisgust · 2024-07-03T05:25:39+00:00

You seem pretty dumb, why are you trying to get one night stands to commit? Its ONE NIGHT for a reason.

Undertheradar11111 · 2024-07-03T21:54:09+00:00

Are you M or F

GiotaroKugio · 2024-07-04T22:43:34+00:00

Wait you guys are getting sex?

Cipamanz · 2024-07-07T14:51:59+00:00

I get it, man. You want more than just the short-term sparks—you want the fire that lasts. To help you out, I'll need a bit more context. What kind of interactions do you have with these women outside of bed? Are you just being the "fun guy," or are you giving them a reason to stick around for more?

Here's a quick tip: Balance the teasing with some genuine interest. Show them you're not just a good time, but also someone with depth. Now, give me more context so we can tailor a game plan for you.

sirensoflove · 2024-07-10T10:57:07+00:00

almost like you're expecting women in clubs not to be wh0res

ConfidentMongoose874 · 2024-06-30T23:17:38+00:00

I heard a dating coach talk about this issue one time. IIRC Don't have one night stands. Hold off a bit, maybe the 2nd or 3rd date. I think it was because a girls not going to take the relationship seriously if it's a ons. It's also going to constantly remind them they gave "it" up so quickly.

2024-07-01T00:53:37+00:00

The older I get, the less women want me, for sex or anything. I assume it's because I'm not rich and move on. I'm not gonna try and make a girl cum anyway, unless she's showing me she cares. I don't care about what a stranger thinks of my performance. It's probably cause you're not rich -not giving off husband energy. But the girls you select for a one night stand are party girls, so it's absurd to expect anything more. Accept the victory in getting laid.

DistributionPurple · 2024-07-01T10:24:32+00:00

Make them wait, there’s a YouTube video on man and women chemistry. I’ll see if I can find it. Men brain chemistry changes over time and . Women’s is quicker.

Found a different video but this is actually better and more science based.

Ted talk, you are welcome!

https://youtu.be/eyq2Wo4eUDg?si=MEgXbz4HTMy7jrmG

ydnawashere · 2024-07-01T02:09:33+00:00

Could be bc you’re ugly

snrolexx · 2024-07-01T03:13:00+00:00

No real man worth any thing doesn’t want a girl long term for a relationship if she sleeps with him right away

shimbleshamble · 2024-07-01T07:24:16+00:00

Maybe you need to wear your cap forwards

Title	Constantly getting ghosted after sex.
Author	Longjumping_Act9758
Upvotes	218
Comments	219
Date	June 30, 2024 10:46 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dsdslo/constantly_getting_ghosted_after_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/constantly-getting-ghosted-after-sex.1522907 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522907

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