By definition of being the guy she ends up with long term, youre not the best she had had

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-10-19T19:52:51+00:00

Removed for OP abandonment.

RandomUsernameSkrrrt · 2021-10-19T16:26:48+00:00

By definition of being the guy she ends up with long term, youre not the best she had had.

This rests on the massive, unfounded assumption that the best she encounters leaves her. What if you are him choosing to stay with her? For some reason there's this idea that monogamy inidicates poor options and hence low value; indeed, a "truly" high value male would never settle down because he has OPTIONS. Well, prepare to have your worldview shaken: there's a difference between having options and pursuing them. High value is having options, not necessarily acting on every single one of them. Chad: "Sorry babe, gotta go fuck other women because I can because I am hot. I really like you but my hotness prevents me from only fucking you. Goodbye."

Plenty of people end up marrying the best they had. The sentiment is mutual both ways and the guy proposes, not abandons her. Imagine that, marrying the person you like the most. Impossible.
Good looks do not necessitate promiscuity. Ease of access does not imply interest of access. Just because you can doesn't mean you want to. Plenty of good looking women abstain from frivolous sexual encounters that could end in a "pump-and-dump" scenario in the first place because of, I don't know, something called standards and prudence? Foreign concepts, I know.

crookedsummer2019 · 2021-10-19T16:24:18+00:00

Right. Having sex with a guy who dumps us after is the best guy for us ladies. A guy who cares about us? What a loser! :/.

This nonsense.

For the millionth time and louder for the guys in the back: many women value and are sexually attracted to guys who want to care for and have a relationship with them. Stop trying to ‘sell’ this idea that being a player is what women want to settle for or actually prefer. Not all women want players. Not all women are into casual sex. If that’s what you want, then find women who are into that and go be happy about it. Never mind what other women choose. You do you.

houstongradengineer · 2021-10-19T15:39:49+00:00

I don't agree with this being a typical scenario. Pretty much what everyone else said about some guys wanting relationships and sex being better when you care about a person. What the hell did you mean when you said that was exactly your point to another commenter?

Razumnyy · 2021-10-19T15:49:15+00:00

What about people who are in long term relationships with the person they lost their virginity to?

Also, how does the guy moving on mean that he’s attractive at all? You think every attractive person is always aiming to get the most attractive partner and move on whenever they find someone better, and everyone else just takes whatever they can get and never leaves?

wtknight · 2021-10-19T15:48:37+00:00

Not every woman has casual sex. Furthermore, a guy could be the first man that a woman has ever had casual sex with and then have it turn into a long-term relationship. Your analysis only holds true if a woman had casual sex with men before and makes long-term guy wait, although even then some women will argue that they liked LTR guy the best and just wanted to wait with him because of pump and dump defense.

chubbybutt22 · 2021-10-19T16:06:05+00:00

The sex can get better with time with a partner. You learn how to turn each other on. You explore kinks. You have more trust. And this post just totally invalidates any notion of love.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-10-19T16:37:07+00:00

The likelihood of being someone's "best" decreases as their n-count increases, but its still possible.

LalaTheSecond · 2021-10-19T15:31:32+00:00

Best she's had for what? Great sex when you're in love with someone is going to be 100% better than with some random or FBW. It's not even close.

SaBahRub · 2021-10-19T15:50:49+00:00

You can’t imagine that other dudes suck in bed too?

cowfishAreReal · 2021-10-19T15:31:34+00:00

A guy can be very attractive and want a relationship. Different guys want different things. And women don't all agree on what guys are the most attractive, a guy that's considered average by most people could end up with a girl that thinks he's the hottest guy ever

cunningcaring · 2021-10-19T16:50:56+00:00

There’re is no logic to this post.

Novadina · 2021-10-19T17:10:10+00:00

Doesn’t line up with my experience or my female friends I’ve talked about this with at all. Most people think sex when in love is better than casual sex.

My husband is absolutely the best sex I’ve ever had. He knows it. Men just trying to get their dick wet and move on has never resulted in good sex for me. They usually are too quick, so I didn’t even orgasm, which just leaves me feeling unsatisfied and frustrated. When my husband and I got together we clicked so well we’d be staying up all night fucking. Also once we were together for years, there is an amazing bond and total trust you just can’t possibly have with anything short term. With that trust you can totally open yourself up sexually, share your deepest darkest sexual fantasies, and trust they will never hurt you and will put effort to fulfill them, and you do the same for them. This bond just can’t be matched, it vastly beats out any casual sex I had that went for 1 minute total 20 years ago.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-10-19T15:51:17+00:00

The average number of sexual partners that both men and women in the UK and the US have is seven. You've got pretty good odds of being the best of that seven. And you're assuming that every attractive man moves on - some actually want relationships, including the guy in this hypothetical scenario.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-10-19T16:24:25+00:00

This seems to assume mating is like a bubble sort where the best men in bed by default don't LTR and that women will all have sex with guys who are attractive and good in bed and get pumped and dumped.

This can be true, if and only if you take the subset of people playing the meat market game. You don't see the hot dude who has had the same girlfriend since he was 18 or the woman who LTRed up at a younger age either. They are simply not playing the meat market so you don't even know they exist.

NarniaFox · 2021-10-19T15:40:13+00:00

There are women who aren't into casual. They either have never done it or they've tried it out once or twice and haven't done it since.
Some LTRs start without marriage in mind, just for fun, sex and keeping each other a company.
A lot of people say that sex in relationships is better, because you get to know each other's preferences and you have emotional bonds. It's also known that women less often have an orgasm during casual sex.

Some personal experience here. When I was a teen, I was interested in starting dating someone so I could have sex with them. I wasn't comfortable with casual/FWBs situation though, I was totally inexperienced and I wanted to find someone who I was compatible to and could trust. It's pretty much how my husband and I have ended up together. We met at 16 and didn't really plan to get married any time soon. We were having great time together though, so as things developed, we saw that we theoretically we did want to spend our lives together and eventually we got married. So from some fun and easy relationships (although exclusive from the beginning) we've evolved into being more than 7 years together.

TomorrowsWar · 2021-10-19T15:43:48+00:00

Honestly this reeks of insecurity and jealousy of hot guys you feel like you don’t measure up to. We all know women can upgrade at almost any time. If she’s choosing to be with you it’s because she likes you more than the hot guys she can pull.

If all she wanted was to slam chads every night she probably could. But that doesn’t satisfy most women. So stop being insecure and jealous. It’s a weak disease

LeaveThisPlanet · 2021-10-19T15:38:28+00:00

Who cares who's this and that or whatever?

Seriously, who above the age of 14-15, has the time and the immaturity to actually think about this? Just be with the person you like/are horny for/love/whatever and that's it. Have fun, have a good time, try to make sure they do as well and end of story. Ffs, how old are you people in here? Only teenagers who are now getting rid of their zit, with zero life experience think like this. 🤦‍♀️😂

angels-fan · 2021-10-19T15:28:21+00:00

Unless the woman is an absolute babe and you are a very high value guy who gets the pick of the litter.

Sooooo.... Not by definition?

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-10-19T15:57:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-19T16:16:16+00:00

If you mean the man she had sex with in her 20s is not going to be the same man she has sex with in her 30s because that 20-something man is now a 30-something man, sure.

flamingoinghome · 2021-10-19T17:32:12+00:00

There's so much wrong here I'm not sure where to start.

Why is the handsomest man the best lay?

Why didn't this handsome man ever fall in love?

Where do women who are not "average or above" fit in?

Where do couples who started as casual FWBs or similar fit in?

Why can't sexy guys be commitment-minded?

Where are you getting any of this?

Ppdebateismental · 2021-10-19T15:59:19+00:00

Meh, all this obsession with “the best” anyone has ever had. My h was 40 when we got married with a huge n count. Was I the best? Good lord, I know I wasn’t as hot when we started dating as the chicks he was banging in his early 20’s. I teased him about a very attractive girl, 10 years younger than me once…he had forgotten he slept with her, then he laughed and said, oh yeah…I remember now!

He can’t get it up 10 times a week and keep it up for hours like my ex….who was 20.

Are we each other’s “best”? It doesn’t matter to me, I’m the best he’s got right now and we are pretty damn happy. Why the fuck is everyone so neurotic?

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-19T16:38:31+00:00

This is dumb. You both presumably dated other 20-somethings when you were in your 20s. That doesn't mean that the person you dated in your 20s was "the best you ever had." I would definitely say my partner at 50 is better than my partner at 22, and better than the partner I had at 22 is now that he is 50 himself. If you determine "better" to mean merely "younger", well, that can't be helped. We all get older.

NaturalQueer · 2021-10-19T17:10:58+00:00

Meh can’t speak for all people, I can say my husband is the best I’ve ever had, that isn’t the reason I married him, but it’s a nice bonus for sure. Out of the 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year I have sex doesn’t make up the majority of time, we do way more thing together than have sex. So even if he wasn’t the best, I’d still choose him because of all the other hours of our day.

funlightmandarin · 2021-10-19T15:57:59+00:00

Statistically, I'm probably average.

I ended up long term with my partner. He's the best sex I've had, he's the most attractive guy I've been with, and I don't look to "upgrade".

He's obviously not looking to upgrade either, because he could've done so. I've seen some of his exes, they're total babes. He wants to be with me, else he wouldn't be.

Also, I'm apparantly his "best sex" too.

So no, gotta disagree. This post seems like an inferiority complex about longterm partners having had past partners. It doesn't even make sense.

John_Oakman · 2021-10-19T15:42:01+00:00

The male that she ends up with gets her wonderful personality and great maturity from her life experiences. But then again, only LVMs care for those while real men of the manosphere distain those things.

DazzlingTie4119 · 2021-10-19T15:57:44+00:00

It's weird to me that men think this way. I always looked for my best fit. The person who share my morality, goals, hobbies, fits my conversational style, and fits with me physically. I don't really think there is a "ranking" of men. What my friend thinks is perfect I hate. One friend likes guys who are sarcastic and can banter with her. I like soft guys who are sweet and wouldn't ever degrade a partner for laughs.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-10-19T17:23:53+00:00

Don’t know, don’t care.

There’s chicks that jumped into bed with me and probably had the time of their life… but realized I wasn’t into the LTR thing with them so they picked someone more comfortable… doesn’t mean she likes me more. It just means she was more sexually attracted to me at the time, and that fit her momentary needs vs long terms wants.

Hell, there’s some chicks that have super high sex drives and are available to me 24/7 to fuck… but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna toss my girlfriend aside. My girlfriend makes me happy and I don’t want to pump n dump.

Finding someone that you’d hang out with without the sex is more important than finding someone who wants to have sex with you so you’ll hang out with them. And I’m sure women eventually learn the opposite (sooner if they’re smarter)

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-10-19T17:31:00+00:00

If a dude's only concern is being the best sex I've ever had, I'm not dating him lol

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-10-19T15:46:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CFinCanada · 2021-10-19T17:08:51+00:00

The best-looking? No. The best personality? Yes. The best tongue? Yes. The biggest dick? Yes.

So what's your point?

neetykeeno · 2021-10-19T17:50:33+00:00

I don't think it matters whether it is true or not. People who throw a shitfit when they aren't being treated as the most important, desirable and talented creature ever need to be removed from the gene pool. You aren't the best at anything, some guy in China or India or Norway is better. We can't even pretend to hide this fact from you all now there are billions and billions of people and an internet, and becoming a sulky incel who just won't try over the matter is, oh joy of joys, sulky petulant dudes doing exactly what we need done.

KirthWGersen · 2021-10-19T18:10:53+00:00

I'm not really sure how any of the women who I have had long-term relationships with could have been more aroused or wanted more sex.

I just assume they were same with all the other men they had been with.

If they were more or less aroused is irrelevant to me. I just enjoy being with them and having sex with them.

Braincellular · 2021-10-19T18:20:49+00:00

To some extent, maybe but not exactly. I don't think all women have alpha widows. The alpha widow is usually when there's some guy who satisfied both sides of her hypergamous filter and she couldn't lock him down, or maybe when she fucked up and didn't realize there was some guy she let go who she shouldn't have because it turns out he was the best she could have done (although I'm not sure this one happens all that often, usually when you're out you're out for good and it's because you failed the hypergamy test in some way, doesn't make you her alpha that she lost).

There may have been guys who aroused her at the time but didn't qualify as relationship material, whatever that may mean to her (like, she put him in the fuckzone-not-relationship-zone from the get-go because dumb reasons). Alpha widow isn't that either.

I also don't think it's a guarantee that a woman LTRing you it automatically means she's settling. It kind of depends on the woman and her situation. It probably is the case if you only satisfy the beta-bucks side of things. That's why men are so neurotic about notch count, with good reason, the more notches she's got the more likely she is settling, and/or there's some alpha widow in her past you can never measure up to.

happyface712 · 2021-10-19T18:23:04+00:00

I think this is a very toxic thing to put into the heads of a group of men who are already insecure, and it’s also untrue

mistresswhat · 2021-10-19T18:47:49+00:00

I don't agree. I think this is the most neurotic shit I've ever read.

Bandit174 · 2021-10-19T17:55:24+00:00

It depends on what qualities you have and when you met her.

If you're an average or worse guy and met her mid to late 20s then yeah she's probably had guys that were taller, more muscular, more attractive and more endowed than you.

If you met her in early 20s or you're an above average guy in terms of looks, height, fitness and dick size then it's possible that you're the best.

Overall, I think for most men their wife does not see them as the best they've had in any of those dimensions. Most women have fucked a guy who was taller, hotter or more endowed than the average man so if you're average in those categories you ain't the best.

Title	By definition of being the guy she ends up with long term, youre not the best she had had
Author	Artistic_Guest4386
Upvotes	4
Comments	129
Date	October 19, 2021 3:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qbdtmu/by_definition_of_being_the_guy_she_ends_up_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/by-definition-of-being-the-guy-she-ends-up-with.1078631 https://theredarchive.com/post/1078631

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