What is your opinion on men that read books or watch videos to get better with women?

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-12-17T21:56:02+00:00

I think it's fine, people should do whatever helps them get the results they want. Social interaction, sex and dating don't come naturally for everyone so there's nothing wrong with seeking out help and advice.

That said, they shouldn't talk about it with the women they date. There's nothing wrong with it in the abstract but no one wants to see how the sausage gets made.

CatoftheBanals · 2021-12-17T23:15:18+00:00

I mean, sure. Why not? As long as the advice isn't PUA bullshit about exploiting a woman's insecurities to get her to like you, then go for it.

LotBuilder · 2021-12-17T22:10:12+00:00

I don’t think it really works but if it gives the guy a sense of confidence then it’s worthwhile

PixelPicklePie · 2021-12-17T23:47:15+00:00

I could never understand the logic of condemning someone for bettering themselves. Tbh, it would put me off if a man hadn’t picked up at least a couple self help books. It shows a certain level of self awareness and ambition to improve.

In society, we are taught how to do most things but we refuse to break down social interactions to understand them better. As if social skills are some sort of illusive mystery that the lucky few are born with? Dating is a skill, along with everything else in life.

The importance of any self help practice, be it dating or another topic, is to take it with a pinch of salt. One should really THINK for themselves and analyse what they have read and interpret what advice is useful or what is actually true and so forth. There’s nuggets of wisdom from pretty much every book or video, even if it’s to recognise what not to do. We should constantly challenge our own perceptions via critical thinking.

Summary: men who invest in themselves are hotties

2021-12-18T02:17:25+00:00

Don’t mind at all. I read a lot of stuff about how the genders interact. It’s interesting to me and can be useful. It’s a green flag that you’re curious and intelligent enough to Want to explore something deeper

LittyKitsune · 2021-12-17T22:02:53+00:00

That entirely depends on the content creator.

If he is watching content from a dude who claims that women are horses in your stable and you let them out to greener pastures when she asks "what are we" then uh (checks notes) yeah we have a problem on our hands.

pinkestpeachy · 2021-12-17T22:29:54+00:00

wouldn’t care,,,do u boo

rosephase · 2021-12-17T22:57:01+00:00

I think a lot of PUA crap makes for aggressive inappropriate and shallow approaches.

I certainly wouldn't hold it against a guy for learning experimenting and moving on. But anyone using PUA stuff comes off... wrong. Like you are trying to interact with a dude pretending to be person shaped.

ConsultJimMoriarty · 2021-12-18T11:35:07+00:00

Watching porn to learn about sex is the same thing as watching romcoms to learn about love.

anamethatpeoplelike · 2021-12-18T19:56:52+00:00

honestly as a man and maybe im dumb idk, but a woman will deal with most of your retarded shit if you go down on her when she seems to be in a shitty mood, and make her cum first. do that and most women will actually not even mind paying for dinner. this is my experience. you people seem really overthinking stuff. hell i bet if you make her cum 3 times for your 1, she will make you a sandwich smiling like a dumbass.

relationships are not supposed to feel like a game of RISK

Current-Rain-5741 · 2021-12-17T22:38:28+00:00

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creekcrystall · 2021-12-17T23:49:52+00:00

I think it’s cute.

M_LaSalle · 2021-12-18T05:23:30+00:00

Leaving aside the question of whether the advice they are getting is worth their time and money, there's certainly nothing wrong with them seeking it. I would think more highly of a man who actively seeks to improve his odds than a man who does nothing. Now there's a lot of crap advice out there and that dating course by noted poon expert Crunch Hardtack may be a load of horse puckey. I wouldn't advertise that I was doing it. If Crunch gives bad advice, I'd rather have her thinking that I'm an idiot on my own than have her thinking that I'm the kind of idiot who paid for Crunch Hardtack's dating course. And if it works, well...I'm just a natural alpha seducer. Like old Crunch.

EDIT I suspect this is one area where Sturgeoun's Law applies in spades.

houstongradengineer · 2021-12-17T21:53:03+00:00

Depends on what the content is and how he applies it.

PreparationWorried33 · 2021-12-17T22:36:13+00:00

Mainly apathetic. That’s his business. However depending on what specifically he’s watching or reading I might take it as a red flag and a sign to avoid him.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-17T22:10:33+00:00

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Educational-Cut4177 · 2021-12-17T22:51:25+00:00

I think it’s kind of lame… don’t get me wrong, there might be some good advice out there, i think the book how to win friends and influence people is a must, but a lot of the dating advice out there is very sexist or based on very antiquated ideas that generalize women. I think if you have to read that kind if material then you might have other issues to work on, like extreme insecurities. But there’s good advice put there, Vaush and Hassan have some decent videos giving some advice

Treyokayy · 2021-12-19T15:01:03+00:00

Nothing wrong with it

midwestufohunter · 2021-12-19T17:41:27+00:00

Creepy

Vyrnoa · 2021-12-20T09:48:41+00:00

I mean i dont mind. Its better than doing nothing. Atleast youre trying to build character. If it works on some woman then congrats for you.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-12-18T02:55:08+00:00

I am being honest; it is not attractive — and that is only because of the lingering possibility of "book knowledge-hoarding paralysis/inaction" that often happens with these types. There is also the unattractiveness of lack of filtration of data fed to him to which he becomes someone he is not. Instead of filtering data; he absorbs it and becomes it rather standing on his own to feet. He does optimize himself; he loses it — as you see with Internet men that recycle washed out rhetoric of other men; taking dogma as the "truth" - rather than thinking independently or filtering truths from within it; and taking new information discriminately with a critical eye as an independent man (😍) rather than the helpless one (🤮). He goes from being "women's bitch," to being the bottom of another man.

Take the distinction between two Thinking types — an INTP man and an ENTJ. Both knowledge driven; but one more active to the point where all the books he reads are applied through actions indiscriminately to his public life. He reads "on the go"; not in stagnancy. This is why I never found INTP men romantically attractive; but platonically "cool" in comparison.

It is only attractive if he already has battle scars to show — a man that has learned women through trial and error is far more attractive than one with no experience. Whether he has been hardened or softened by the experience is irrelevant.

This is like reading "How to ride a bike?" for dummies and having no knee scars. It is even more attractive when you've read no books at all; but nothing but scars from falling. And now you are an expert at riding bikes.

Inaction will always be unattractive; men that read about women waste valuable time unless he has the attractiveness to compensate. For social activities, in general the best way to learn and improve is on the battle field. You don't lose weight by reading about being fit. That is my experience; go exercise. The only thing to take away from this is "reading books is not hot," bringing them into fruition, action in the form of optimizing utility is. As with intelligence, as with all other things.

DreamsOfWishes · 2021-12-17T22:05:17+00:00

I think it's great, I just wonder why that type of information gathering never includes female sources.

And I don't mean like... Books written by women on how to seduce women. I mean like... Porn or porn-like written by women, womens magazines, lifestyle blogs. Shit that women write, not with the intention of men reading it, but for the consumption of other women.

Like, I hear so many men go "I just don't know what women like. I've tried everything!!!".

...there's thousands of sources of shit that women like??? How??? I understand if you don't want to put in the effort, but don't act like it's rocket science when there's magazines full of porn fantasies for women getting sold in a magazine stands (talking about the anonymous confessions magazines - dirty version).

Don't ACT like women don't get horny or consume porn. THEY DO IT. It's just accepted. They read it on the FUCKING streets. What do you think 50 shades of grey is? Hmm?

...well did you read it?

No...

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-17T23:02:05+00:00

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Competitive_Pen2282 · 2021-12-17T22:34:13+00:00

I prefer men who spend their time doing something interesting and self-developing, getting expertise, becoming really good at something, not learning how to attract women.

ohdiddly · 2021-12-17T23:47:45+00:00

It would be a red flag tbh, only because most of the material around ‘picking up women’ comes from misogynistic pick up artists, rather than coming from actual women.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-12-17T23:46:15+00:00

Depends on the content. I don't think that you can learn how to interact socially from books and videos, as people and situations are too varied for that to even work and it's really just a skill you need to develop practically. But you can learn how to dress to suit you more or about different sex techniques which can be useful. The most helpful thing you can do is probably to consume content that fits your own interests as having passions and interests helps attraction and in general it's good for you so it's not time wasted.

acornfroggie · 2021-12-18T05:16:22+00:00

It's disgusting and sad. Some of those men are so depressed and brainwashed they think they need it. Other men do it for evil reasons.

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IcarusKiki · 2021-12-18T00:03:17+00:00

I don’t really care bc a well-taught man will hide it well.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-18T00:52:39+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-18T01:40:42+00:00

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Initial_Chemical7121 · 2021-12-18T02:50:37+00:00

I don’t like it personally but whatever makes someone else more confident.

DrnknParrot · 2021-12-18T07:54:19+00:00

Depends on what books/videos they're consuming.

unlike_glossier · 2021-12-18T15:26:38+00:00

My dad did that. Then he decided it didn’t work(they were outdated anyways) and is a major redpill guy now. Living with him was definitely something. Apparently I’m supposed to give my husband sex anytime he wants, even if i don’t feel like it, because he pays the bills.

Derman0524 · 2021-12-18T15:31:56+00:00

A lot of the advice out there is pretty bad advice in general. Like those videos ‘how to get ANY girl to sleep with you’ or bullshit stuff like that. It creates this negative connotation that women are in fact objects or prizes that should be claimed or won…….

That’s absolutely horrible advice but I think when people seek self help in that area, they start to realize that there’s a whole picture that has to be taken into consideration like men cleaning up their look/hygiene, fixing up their wardrobe, getting some hobbies, working out etc and when they become proud of the person they’ve become, that’s where the confidence builds up from

frank-98 · 2021-12-18T15:40:37+00:00

Yeah

nikki1810 · 2021-12-18T16:57:14+00:00

Depends on who your going to for your advice. For example, I personally think it's a pretty hefty red flag if a man only gets his information on women from men regardless of the media they are getting it from.

JazziestCabbage · 2021-12-19T18:44:18+00:00

It’s fine but I wouldn’t date someone using such material unless they were genuinely seeking an LTR

LadyDye_ · 2021-12-29T08:15:40+00:00

It's always good to improve yourself. If you want to get better at learning about women though I suggest actually listening to a woman. There's something so cringe and ironic about watching a man describe what a woman wants.

Current-Rain-5741 · 2021-12-18T04:03:19+00:00

Why do you want everyone's opinion?

wtknight · 2021-12-17T21:50:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	What is your opinion on men that read books or watch videos to get better with women?
Author	Novatonavila
Upvotes	30
Comments	198
Date	December 17, 2021 9:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rirqqg/what_is_your_opinion_on_men_that_read_books_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-your-opinion-on-men-that-read-books-or.1091916 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091916

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