How do you handle being approached by scrotes?

purasangria · 2021-12-14T22:42:33+00:00

"I have a boyfriend" marks you as another man's territory and he's more likely to go away and not bother you further. They get nasty when told "no," but seem to take it less hard when they think you would date him, but shucks, you're taken.

I never give them my phone number, ever. They can find out all kinds of things just from your phone number.

ewokblubber · 2021-12-14T23:10:49+00:00

Sis, I'm afraid giving them your number, even when immediately blocking afterwards, creates a safety hazard.

They might not be able to actually text/call you, but simply by having the number, they can reverse search it. There are search engines and services, some free, some not, that can spit out the data of the person the number is registered to- full name, address, all the good stuff.

If you do not feel safe refusing them your number, either give a fake one or create a google voice number- that way, your phone will ring should they test-call you right during your conversation, but your actual data is not connected to the number they have. Of course, you can then block them on the google voice number.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-12-14T23:07:02+00:00

Step one: pretend I don’t hear him

Step two: (assuming step one fails) Pretend I don’t speak English

ceramicunicorn · 2021-12-14T23:50:13+00:00

Great tips so far!

I’ll add that behaving and moving in ways which are outside of the Sexy Lady Script have served me well. The movement being that arm-swinging butch walk that you see Kate McKinnon doing in the Verizon commercials, the behavior being whatever Maxine from the Hallmark cards might say, in a cantankerous old bitch tone. Men who don’t see women as people tend to view them in a very narrow way that dovetails with the services they would like to procure (for little to no effort). So, a woman moving and behaving like an elderly truck driver with mental issues is enough to confuse them/make pp go soft (if you watch the eyes you can see the “why not lady who look lady do lady thing?” bewilderment, as they struggle to continue to sexualize and dominate the interaction) for the 10 seconds I need to get away. Someone that seemingly out of touch with their femininity is the opposite of appealing/an easy target.

Also pepper spray for more extreme cases 🤷🏻‍♀️

sleepysiri · 2021-12-14T22:52:56+00:00

I pretend I don’t hear them and quickly walk away or pretend I spotted a friend, or got a phone call.

AdmiralRando · 2021-12-14T23:30:26+00:00

I’m not sure how well this works for others, but I treat them the same way I treat those people who are trying to sell me a cable plan at the grocery store. A bright, friendly, dismissive “no thank you!” And keep walking.

Saga-the-fierce · 2021-12-14T22:28:36+00:00

Honestly, I don't tend to completely mind my own business. I'm usually very aware of my surroundings and can spot the potential approaches from a mile off. Resting bitch face combined with what I like to call the "terminator walk" prevents approaches. I'm also good at bluntly saying "NO. Not interested" before quickly walking off while they are still taken aback. I'm also not afraid of getting into a scrap if I have to, and I genuinely think this energy comes off which makes me less of a target.

fancy_tetrahedron · 2021-12-15T01:19:53+00:00

I live abroad, so I start speaking in my native language and pretend I don't understand them. They can't take it personally, so it works like a charm. Never underestimate how dangerous a broken male ego can be.

frustratedmarxistfem · 2021-12-15T09:00:39+00:00

I try to sell them something. Or act like I'm in their neighborhood with a petition.

Just cut them off and talk right over them, "Oh, hi! I'm here with Fight Back Atlanta, were a non profit organization that funds treatment for at risk youths and I'm looking for- "

It has never failed to make them literally change characters and slump away embarrassed. Half the time they even thank me lmao

DiosaCordilia · 2021-12-14T23:28:49+00:00

I always have my headphones on and don't make eye contact 9 out of 10 times so I'm not approachable, I don't look approachable either because; why? For real. I'm going somewhere and I don't want to get picked up at a fucking busstop or anything 🥴 If someone reaches out to me, I look them dead in the eyes and say: 'No interest'. If I feel unsafe, I just say that I have a boyfriend.

I would likely to keep up with the 'no interest' part, especially if it's in a public space. If he asks you why, you say 'because I don't, I would like you to leave me alone' and straight up walk away. If he would still approach you then, you say 'If you don't go away, I'm going to scream really hard' and if that's not helping, well, scream and/or run, or kick him in the nuts. Would not suggest violence actually but if he's blocking you for example, then you gotta do what you gotta do.

Plus if something like that happens, immediately report him to the police.

Stay safe out there Queens 💜

londochig · 2021-12-15T01:34:30+00:00

Memorize a Text Now or Google Voice Number. Have a fake name handy. Text now is better. You can keep blocking and easily change numbers.

DO NOT give out your real number. I've been able to find people's full name, addresses, family members, social media, etc from their real number. And that was not using any paid app. I found all that info for free online while vetting.

Edit: similarly to the comments below I've also played dumb, walked in the other direction pretending to be on a phone call or just pretended not to speak English. But if you're not feeling safe, the Google Voice to text Now number would be good. They don't know you are texting from an app. It just looks like a regular text or phone call. Unless you're an iPhone user the message colors will differ for non iPhones I think

hiphopanonymous98 · 2021-12-15T00:54:48+00:00

Dead stare, blink, “oh… no thank you”. Walk away.

Sewud · 2021-12-15T01:14:20+00:00

Sad to say but if you've made an effort and look nice men always flock. Or even if you're wearing rags if you're young and your face and hair is visible they'll flock. What's good to avoid men is hide your face and hair (mask, sunglasses, hat) as well as your body (long loose clothes).

warinmymind94 · 2021-12-15T05:32:37+00:00

I lie and say "thanks, but I already have a boyfriend"

Usually the guy will then say something like "hur hur he must be a lucky man"

Thats when I'm already in the process of walking away and I'll say "have a nice day"

lolmemberberries · 2021-12-15T00:25:01+00:00

I walk away from them. At this point, I don't care whether they assume I didn't hear them or not.

Heather619 · 2021-12-15T08:25:47+00:00

Just stare at them and don't say anything. Creeps them out.

If they're persistent - "I already told you that I'm not interested."

Granted, I'm built like a linebacker and have more muscle mass than most women, so I have the advantage of looking intimidating.

faultierin · 2021-12-15T09:22:31+00:00

I have a „dont come to me” vibe and dont experience it. Big headphones, not smiling around and straight posture do the trick

Jinxhourglass · 2021-12-15T01:23:26+00:00

As others said, don’t give out your phone number. If you want to keep doing this method, download a fake call/text app that can send all calls to voice mail and lets you pick a phone number from another state. To account for the numbers you have given out, make sure all your socials aren’t allowed to find you via contacts. Don’t give Instagram your phone number, Facebook has a setting so that people can’t search for your profile by your phone number and linked in does too. Tiktok and Snapchat also have connect your contact options where other people can find you if they have your number even if you blocked them.

LR_today · 2021-12-15T01:40:31+00:00

I have a second number through a free texting/calling app that I give out. Most skeezy scrotes will verify that they got your number. I also use a fake name.

InjuryOnly4775 · 2021-12-15T07:25:58+00:00

Nope. Some clown wants to get crazy he will meet his match. 😂 I will call the cops so fast if someone is inappropriate and believe me, no man wants a visit from police.

Ninja_Flower_Lady · 2021-12-15T08:46:35+00:00

On top of the safety issue with giving out real number, they can retaliate by signing your number up for weird shit

highoncatnipbrownies · 2021-12-15T12:21:59+00:00

Never ever give out your number. If you feel you have to (like they will call you right there) get yourself a Google voice number or one of the temporary texting apps.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-12-14T23:52:51+00:00

Just say you're married.

subgirlygirl · 2021-12-15T02:37:26+00:00

"I'm married," with a quick means-nothing smile, then walk away.👣

ShegoGreen · 2021-12-15T21:42:32+00:00

I say the main thing to focus on is getting away as fast as possible. Be very direct, and leave. I never have had a positive experience by staying to chat.

oceanbreeze88 · 2021-12-15T05:16:14+00:00

What does scrote stand for? Ty. Also, I would give a google voice number or ask him to download the telegram app, give him my screen name which cannot be searched on any social media platform (or I guess you can make one up but if he’s standing there searching it in your presence…). Then block him later. Telegram is like WhatsApp but more confidential and the person won’t pop up in people you may know on social channels because you never gave them your phone number.

scorchedsouI · 2021-12-15T06:19:18+00:00

I just run away pissed. If they follow me I usually scream and swear loudly. Has happened a few times.

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2021-12-15T07:39:38+00:00

Have a fake number memorized! Be in a rush to leave so he doesn't ask you to make sure you got his text/call on the spot

Rusticular · 2021-12-15T09:54:52+00:00

"Fuck off." Or, occasionally, "get fucked."

Shot_Presence_8382 · 2021-12-17T19:03:37+00:00

The blank stare; look through them, not AT them 😒

Title	How do you handle being approached by scrotes?
Author	Bekinditsfree
Upvotes	227
Comments	50
Date	December 14, 2021 10:19 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rgivdq/how_do_you_handle_being_approached_by_scrotes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-handle-being-approached-by-scrotes.1092421 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092421

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