Abusers wait to reveal his true colours until you’re baby trapped. Vet ruthlessly by enforcing your boundaries during courtship.

TERFSareawesome · 2022-02-28T02:53:16+00:00

Absolutely gross. Proof that a ton of these dysfunctional men come from pathetic pickme or just dysfunctional, nasty women. We cannot give other women an immediate pass or assume theyre "on our side" just because theyre also female. Plenty of them are just as degenerate and will team up against you

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2022-02-28T03:01:17+00:00

I can't imagine wanting to unnecessarily hold a hungry, crying baby. It's not pleasant or cute at all, the noise is designed to be so irritating you drop everything and attend to the baby.

hope-wallace · 2022-02-28T05:44:00+00:00

She needs to get the f out. After I had my son, ex ILs were staying with us. This was my first week postpartum. Keep in mind, I had been in labor for 48+ hours when I finally had him. Think sleep deprivation plus all the physical impacts of childbirth. Ex ILs visited during these 48 hours so they knew I was exhausted. After we get home, ex storms into our room one evening and demands, "what's wrong with you?!" I was physically and emotionally exhausted and struggling with getting the nursing thing going. Apparently because I was a zombie, I hadn't talked to his mom much and that made her cry. 🙄 God forbid I focus on resting and keep my child alive, but I was still expected to make small talk with Jocasta. Surprisingly, I still had a backbone and told him how tired I was and why and that I was fine with going down and explaining that to exMIL. He backed down and said he would go down and explain. By that point the damage was done. I never trusted him to have my back again. It was a slow downhill and involved alcoholism, financial abuse, and infidelity on his part. We officially divorced when my son was 12. Don't wait that long -- it's not worth the energy drain.

leadmemories · 2022-02-28T02:18:19+00:00

this is terrifying. i hope she leaves

askmeabouttheforest · 2022-02-28T02:21:50+00:00

Yeah, having a baby is one of the most dangerous things a woman can do. It also ties in with the push against abortion rights and against contraception - they want us vulnerable and at their mercy.

NowTruly · 2022-02-28T02:30:48+00:00

If OP’s husband didn’t show his true colors until the baby arrived, the speed with which he is escalating this is severely alarming.

I lived this. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It is truly hell on earth, while at your absolute most vulnerable point.

Just like this woman is experiencing, the psychopath also doesn’t fall far from the psychopath tree. That MIL….

What true “mother” could ever keep a crying, hungry baby from its mother? Answer: one that raised a shitstain to prioritize her needs over his young family’s.

In my case, I wouldn’t let the grandparents come over until they’d gotten their whooping cough booster (like you’re supposed to around a newborn.) My ex threw a fit about “making” his mother get a shot … then shortly after quietly said she’d gotten the shot. I was too exhausted to investigate — because what kind of monster would LIE about that, right?

Looking back, after watching every other incestuous offering he made that woman at his own kid’s expense over the few short months I was still with him, I’m 100% she never got the shot.

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-02-28T02:19:32+00:00

And she apologizes afterwards for making typos…she’s being badly abused.

Thestral-glow6 · 2022-02-28T02:31:33+00:00

I hope that poor woman actually takes on the advise that’s being given. She’s not safe.

windowseat4life · 2022-02-28T10:45:03+00:00

This is actually child neglect & would warrant a call to child protective services because it's an environment where the baby isn't getting fed when necessary. It's neglecting the baby's physical needs which (especially at this young age) is vital to proper health & keeping it alive. Also this environment of the baby not being allowed to feed when needed will have long-term psychology effects & the child will possibly have an unhealthy relationship with food when they're older (along with a host of other psychological issues from this).

This mother needs to file a report against the father & grandparents, leave the situation, & file for divorce.

AnniaT · 2022-02-28T02:46:57+00:00

What the fucking hell!!!

Determinedblonde · 2022-02-28T09:27:19+00:00

Save the son so he doesn’t end up evil like his dad.

oscine23 · 2022-02-28T03:14:56+00:00

This is when a big scary brother comes in handy.

ApartmentWeak1953 · 2022-02-28T06:40:33+00:00

It’s popular in Indian culture to live with in-laws for rest of the life . As if a husband isn’t enough .... I refuse to live with anyone’s parents after marriage and I haven’t yet had the guts to put this out as I know I would be getting a lot of outbursts from Indian men and preconditioned women to follow what’s been going on since centuries here .

mtan15 · 2022-02-28T09:32:47+00:00

I'd be at my mums quicker than he could blink.

Leeola_Mcgillicuddy · 2022-02-28T10:56:13+00:00

I remember being shook to my core when I watched a story of a woman in India who actually set herself on fire to try and escape a sick evil mother in law and her husband who were basically tag teaming her with abuse every day of her life. Her life was a daily hell with no escape. It is crucial for women to establish strict boundaries for "family" . This includes narcissistic type mother in laws and even their own mothers sometime. All women are NOT allies in womanhood. This needs to be understood.

Leeola_Mcgillicuddy · 2022-02-28T10:43:52+00:00

I keep saying these scrotes are often emboldened by their MOTHERS . Not all of them. But a lot of them. This mother is toxic and abusive as well as the scrote.

missisabelarcher · 2022-02-28T15:19:58+00:00

She needs to leave. She's only doing what a mother should be doing.

I feel so terrible for this woman. He's abusive and his family enables that -- and they're equally manipulative as well. She might be telling herself that it gets better when the baby gets older. It doesn't.

fuckbeingautobanned · 2022-02-28T09:32:45+00:00

Oh man, I'm not even a mother (yet) and I'm already seething inside by reading this. I'm filled with motherly instincts I didn't know I had, lol. She is SUCH a strong person for remaining so calm.

Softrito · 2022-02-28T15:24:48+00:00

Honestly this sorta sounds like something my brother would do to his wife, but if I say anything to her to show concern she paints me as the bad guy. Feel sorry for her future daughter-in-laws.

PollyannaPenny · 2022-03-01T06:16:01+00:00

This is also a warning not to date men who have an unhealthy attachment to their mommies.

ububTkuc · 2022-02-28T02:24:51+00:00

Wait wait don't tell me....the man and his mom are South Asian right??

Schadenfreulein · 2022-02-28T05:39:43+00:00

You are absolutely in the right here; your MIL is behaving very inappropriately and your husband is being even worse. I really feel for you because I've been in a similar situation. Hang in there.

XMochiixMochiiX · 2022-02-28T11:20:58+00:00

Makes me thankful that I'm child free. I'll never be stuck to a lvm because of a kid.

EsotericKnowledge · 2022-03-16T20:54:19+00:00

Hmm, I wonder who raised this bitchy little mama's boy?

Title	Abusers wait to reveal his true colours until you’re baby trapped. Vet ruthlessly by enforcing your boundaries during courtship.
Author	notallowed2havepizza
Upvotes	672
Comments	55
Date	February 28, 2022 2:06 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/t3430v/abusers_wait_to_reveal_his_true_colours_until/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/abusers-wait-to-reveal-his-true-colours-until.1104943 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104943

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