What are your views on casual sex for women?

Elegant-Surprise-417 · 2023-01-04T06:05:46+00:00

I think our cultures pursuit of pleasure in general has lead the majority of people into a pit of despair and unseen repercussions disguised and regarded as liberation, freedom and choice… We are like children eating sugar for every meal because it tastes good but bears no substantial nutrients.

West-Ad-9697 · 2023-01-04T07:27:16+00:00

I don't think people can avoid bonding over sex, especially after the first few times they have it. ANd breaking that bond, sometimes within the first few minutes after popping - leaves a void inside us all.

I think men have it easier in that sense, but like most things, it's a switch. Men after around 7 partners, especially short term turn into cold fuckboys that don't care or trust a woman they fuck. But they still can bond. They still can lead and offer support, comfort and warmth - they just don't default to that. You can be the biggest man whore, and a sweet little thing asking to hold her, still melts your heart.

While for women it varies like with most things but after 4-10 - their bonding pattern gets fucked up... especially if those 10 occur early in life and happen very fast one after another. And that's kind of the sexual development journey of most women. They get 1-2 hot girl summers, and they don't love the same again after that. (until they meet the "right guy"). Literally. Women after a certain period will intentionally avoid any form of attachment and dehumanize their partners emotional needs because they are terrified to the human connection.

A man that gets 10 plus partners early in life, is a beast - either sociopathic or a social king. But I doubt you can find a college educated woman - even unattractive ones that struggle to not get to 10 in college. In fact I think if you don't score 4 in a summer you're kind of weird, and quite closed off. That ease of breaking your bonding hymen is why TRP doesn't think "experience" for women is as valuable as your sex ed teacher would. A man, can always find a soft girly "pick me" to just share cuddles with. A woman, can not go back to being a basic "pick me" that just wants to share cuddles with a man - especially for a man she doesn't respect or admire, that doesn't pull out the hidden girly girl behind years of disappointment and emotional self neglect.

For the best bang for your relationship - marrying your childhood sweetheart will result in the best bonding and overall relationship satisfaction. But we don't live in a culture where you make the most out of what you have - we think options abound and if this doesn't work - next guy will be better because I am more experienced. Well that's the thing about bonding, experience makes bonding harder - your walls are higher, your PTSD is spiked, you are more restrained - and this in turn creates a feedback that makes your partner keep a distance and then you spiral into feeding one anothers anxiety.

That's why cold cats, and dark triad men are so good after you broke your bonding mechanism, they don't care, they don't need you to be close, they don't create the feedback loop. And that's why, the only men you can bond with after a few rails are exactly the wrong men you should bond to.

saraimarsena · 2023-01-04T06:15:26+00:00

red pill theory for women states that:

women are the gatekeepers of sex
casual sex is so easy for women to obtain that it requires no strategy , and is not the ultimate goal for women overall
it is best for women to keep their n count as low as possible
women dangle “sex” to get commitment

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-01-04T14:03:51+00:00

My view is that dudes need to chill: it’s just sex.

wwwArchitect · 2023-01-05T02:04:21+00:00

For me, unless you’re banging a 10/10 supermodel, casual sex is literally charity hooker work. You’re subconsciously telling a random dude “I wanna have your babies!” And you’re not getting sh* in return for that insane lopsided exchange.

throwaway164_3 · 2023-01-04T05:52:30+00:00

As a redpill man, I think casual sex is great.

All of my LTRs began with casual sex. We all evolved to have lots of sex, and it feels great (e.g. see bonobo societies)

SmarmyPapsmears · 2023-01-04T06:06:56+00:00

I think people should be allowed to do whatever they want sexually; but also don't get mad when I (or men) don't want to date you.

Preme2 · 2023-01-04T06:16:50+00:00

Casual sex is detrimental to both men and women. The majority at least. In terms of women, I think they use casual sex as a means to attract men out of their league. Without casual sex, I don’t think many of them would get the same attention or engagement from those men.

Same logic as to why women wear revealing clothing when they go out or post “thirst traps” on social media. It gets attention.

It’s never smart to play the lottery in your 20’s. You’re not going to win so quit asking, gambling is addictive and these women get hooked on chad. There are better ways to spend your money, like stocks and bonds. Much slower but pays off in the long run. Many women would rather wait until 30+ to do this. It’s illogical.

KirthWGersen · 2023-01-04T10:30:52+00:00

Opposition to casual sex does not come from the red pill.

It comes from certain cultural attitudes and personality types, who refuse to accept that women are women. The "red pill" guys who express such attitudes are generally men trying to use red pill techniques to achieve blue pill fantasies: they refuse to actually "take the red pill".

The red pill view is to accept the world as it is and arrange your own life in a manner that best achieves your aims within such a reality. That can take all kinds of forms, but not living in a conservative fantasy.

GhostofCamus · 2023-01-04T13:08:20+00:00

I'm cool with it, but I wish they'd invite me more often.

nastyfella · 2023-01-04T05:39:15+00:00

Everyone should do what they want and date who they want. Body count doesn’t affect your worth. Also it’s ok to prefer a low count partner. However in most successful relationships people will have similar numbers. I understand why the double standard exists but I don’t like it. I wish you all happy fucking

TheWronged_Citizen · 2023-01-04T06:15:37+00:00

Hot take: (EDIT: I don't particularly care if a woman has had some or even moderate amounts of casual sex in her past), as long as she's able to be faithful within the context of a committed relationship.

An above average looking woman with a normal libido is likely going to get many, many chances to hop in the sack with attractive men. I'm not saying they should spread their legs for every one of them, but I can't really blame them for taking some of these men up on their offers...

Now, I'm to understand that women who engage in a lot of casual sex may have negative effects on their pair bonding or whatever. Sure, perhaps there is some truth to that. But I'm not referring to women who sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry. I'm just talking about an average or above average looking woman who has casual relations every once and a while. Not really an issue for me

WilliamWyattD · 2023-01-04T16:03:56+00:00

I think that 'casual' sex is generally bad for men and women. By casual, it means sex without some sort of socially or communally supported architecture for dealing with the emotions that arise in sex. Monogamous relationships is one such thing. Polyamory tries to do it as well, though it may not succeed for other reasons. There may have been historic tribes and communities with some other approach to sex that worked for them. Certain types of swinging communities seemed to work pretty well in their time, but part of that was picking the right types of people. Older, more mature, and in rock solid monogamous relationships. More modern day 'swinging', which can be more about younger, hotter couples seeking the same, seems more problematic.

Without guidance for emotions, you make yourself colder as a person. You go through too many awkward moments that do damage. What do you do when you feel like cuddling after sex after just meeting? Doing so might be inappropriate and cause other problems; not doing so is suppressing that natural bonding mechanism and making yourself colder as a person. You are training yourself to see humans as just bodies and objectifying them for that.

Lots of casual sex when you are youngest and emotions run hottest seems the most damaging. There is definitely a gender asymmetry here, in general, due to how men and women are typically built. Casual sex is worse for women. But that doesn't make it good for men.

AndrewPotato34 · 2023-01-04T16:04:37+00:00

If you're a man and think casual sex is the epitome of masculinity and you're toxic and you're gonna shame men who don't see it that way you're trash and lowborn

Mean_Veterinarian688 · 2023-01-04T07:38:15+00:00

Their body, their choice. They have all the right, and the only right to do with it as they please. I on the other hand, have all the right to disqualify them from being considered a long term partner if they did it in the past.

Challenger350 · 2023-01-04T08:08:36+00:00

Not to be taken seriously for a long term relationship. FWB only.

This is for women that actively seek casual only.

Swordfromthecement · 2023-01-04T12:26:09+00:00

The main reason I don’t think highly of casual sex is because I’m not able to have as much as I’d like or as much as women are able. I don’t think large experience gaps between two people are good when it comes to relationships. It seems like in the post online dating world that gap is getting wider and wider.

That’s not to say having a bunch of random sex is good or that it will have no effect on you.

Dat_Dudd · 2023-01-04T12:36:04+00:00

This is all subjective and people can disagree.

The thing about women I don't understand is their idea of having fun is being a complete cum dumpster for 30 different guys.

Why instead of being a cum dump for 30 different guys, can't you find 1 or 2 and just fuck away til your hearts content, the sex would be FAAAAAR better then too anyways than a bunch of ONS.

In my subjective opinon,women have to stop being cum dumps. The reason why men don't want to know their partners number (and I have known this to be the majortiy of men) is they don't want to look at the mother of their children as a walking cum dump.

nandi2 · 2023-01-04T20:55:52+00:00

No one should be having sex outside of marriage and reproduction.

Mean_Veterinarian688 · 2023-01-04T05:24:21+00:00

A note about me: I have trouble interpreting statistics - i know promiscuity predicts infidelity to some extent but because it doesnt predict it 100% what does that mean? cause some people are less able to be monogamous or find the necessary depth of value in marriage, its not all just poor behavioral conditioning. and what does it say about all the different sexual styles and orientations. i hope someone understands what im getting at. like theres a huge landscape of sexual styles, lgbtq+, polyamory, monogamy, somewhat interested in casual sex but fundamentally monogamous, not interested in monogamy or polyamory and just interested in casual sex or short term relationships (not sure if that one exists actually), only interested in monogamy etc and i DONT mean orientations that would change after a total therapeutic process given its possible i mean actual fundamental unchanging orientations

KayRay1994 · 2023-01-04T06:43:52+00:00

so if men can have all the casual sex they want and the woman shouldn’t - who should the men be fucking?

Lord_Thanos · 2023-01-04T07:41:31+00:00

I don’t care. It’s just hedonism. It’s not deep at all.

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-01-05T02:20:51+00:00

I really don't care what women do I won't marry one regardless I won't move one in my home or have a child with one.Im not the poom poom police

I will laugh when they hit the wall after being ran through for decades and no man will commit to them and they can't figure out why

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Fancy-Respect8729 · 2023-01-04T08:39:25+00:00

I really don't care. What do you think I'm doing.

LupeDyCazari · 2023-01-04T11:40:11+00:00

What the?

Women should stay celibate until marriage?

Lots of guys on this sub would be happier if they converted to Islam, saved up money, moved to Saudi Arabia and bought a woman, no?

What use do I have for a virginal woman? I've been with virgin women before, like real virgins, not that kind of, ''I've sucked cock and got my ass fucked but I've never had my holier of places touched, so in the eyes of Christ I'm a virgin,'' and let me tell you, no matter how hot the girl is - it's still boring and annoying and not-enjoyable to sleep with a virgin.

Shroomhunter93 · 2023-01-04T11:47:24+00:00

I mean the higher the body count higher the chances of an std and not worth the time investing in if she voices from dude to dude.

gate18 · 2023-01-04T13:23:14+00:00

I think red pill's success hinges on manipulating reality to pretend men are the same and women are the same.

It's a conservative mindset (which we all have, even the extra-woke-liberal). We ignore the vastness of reality and create strawmen.

What are your views on casual sex for women?

I don't give a fuck. Women that want casual sex will have it. As long as laws aren't set to prevent them, and as long as anti-casual-sex people don't become criminals and start attacking people that are into casual sex, I don't care.

And you shouldn't either! It's none of your business that people you don't know do.

women should be celibate until marriage and no women

Not only that, but people should also work for me for free!!

Think about it, what's the difference?

"I want people over there to be my slaves" vs. "I want women over there to be celibate"

In both cases, we can create laws to enforce it, but what's the difference?

If you want to marry a virgin, even though I think you are a dick, go a head! If you find a virgin and if she wants you, fine. But what's to you what women do with their bodies?

Ego.

gymbro718nyc2 · 2023-01-04T15:45:46+00:00

I know that women would have way more casual sex if men weren't either just trying to get in their pants and pump and dump OR trying to wife them up right away.

You have to understand that for a woman to sleep with a man who then never calls her back is the same thing as you taking a girl out to a nice dinner and a Broadway show, and later on when you walk her to her door and try to kiss you, she says "hey not so fast, I only like you as a friend". Ouch, that hurts really bad because you feel used. Well, women feel used as well.

But then they have the other problem, of guys who act like boyfriend material and who women feel they need to either impress or kick the tires. So when a guy presents himself as boyfriend material and wants to wife her up, of course she puts sex on hold, because she doesn't want him to think of her as a slut. She kicks his tires and tries to find out if he is really serious, etc. and if he is not that great she chooses not to make the transaction because it will mean another notch on her belt that will make her less marketable to other men.

If instead men told her that he will be there for her whenever she wants and that he will be loyal and cool, BUT at the same time promise her that he will not seek a relationship with her or try to be her boyfriend, she will be much more likely to have sex with him recreationally. No judgment, only non judgmental acceptance.

Of course, guys can never think in shades of grey and it's either one extreme or the other. You don't need to cheat women out of sex, guys. They already want to sleep with you but don't want to feel they are paying a cost (getting used for sex and the guy never sticking around) and they also don't want to get super involved with every guy they sleep with who wants to wife them up.

asshole67throw · 2023-01-04T16:29:13+00:00

There’s a difference between quick sex and casual sex.

Sex on a first date does not have to result in casual sex or one night stands.

As a guy any one night stand I’ve had, I’ve been pretty much prepared to see them again.

And generally the only reason we didn’t enter some sort of relationship was because of logistical reasons or I did something to fuck up the attraction (when I was younger and inexperienced, completely blue pilled, needy/desperate cringe texts etc).

FYI I don’t think casual sex is healthy for men either.

The two can be separated. But casual sex is literally masturbation with someone else. Good sex is an emotional connection which escalates in to the physical.

Additional_Speech164 · 2023-01-04T17:22:28+00:00

Good bc we won’t settle for mediocre.

despisedlove2 · 2023-01-04T17:24:55+00:00

RP is a self help manual for men.

It doesn't prescribe what women should do. It only teaches men to treat women according to their actual worth.

nunchuckbitch27 · 2023-01-04T18:23:16+00:00

I find this “red pill” mentality to be complete bullshit these guys are gross you can’t have it both ways if you are looking for a relationship and you want to “pair bond” and you think having a low body count is how you do that then both men and women need to have a low body count if you want a “high value” woman you need to be a “high value” man it’s really that simple you can’t be a high value man if you don’t actually value women these “red pill” guys are making it obvious that they don’t value women they see them as either sex objects to use or wives they can dominate it’s the Madonna/whore thing you can sleep with the whores because you have to in order to prove your manhood and then you settle down with the virgin if you value and respect women you don’t treat them like this now that being said I also find “hook up” culture gross it’s incredibly superficial both genders are just looking to have casual sex with as many of the best looking people they can they think it’s liberating but it’s really causing self esteem problems and sexual insecurities in both genders and that’s why it’s getting so difficult for people to find meaningfully relationships

David16th · 2023-01-04T19:43:37+00:00

That's shit, both for men and women

Ambassadior · 2023-01-05T00:56:24+00:00

RP acknowledges that many, if not most, women have casual sex and aren't these pure angels men romanticize them to be. It's not based in some ideology of what women should or shouldn't do, it's just the truth beyond the illusion.

KissCutMe · 2023-01-05T02:42:27+00:00

The pair bonding thing is dumb and not proven. The only thing that’s made it hard to have healthy relationships is the lying and abuse in the toxic ones. Not the number of bodies I have lol. If I had the same number of bodies and each body had been healthy? We’d be fine. You can achieve that damage with 1 body or 100. Quantity is irrelevant.

SmilesRHere · 2023-01-05T02:43:22+00:00

Love that women have casual sex and approve it, life has been full of fun thanks to it.

How the hell (with whom?) would men have casual sex if 99% of women were celibate until marriage and never ever cheated?

The concept is totally flawed and moronic, there’s absolutely no logic or possibility for it. For men to have casual sex, it means women have to have casual sex as well and statistics show both average partner counts throughout life and ratio of married men and women cheating is very close.

Runoutofideas777 · 2023-01-05T15:05:18+00:00

I think many modern women treat sex like it’s not a big deal because of their abundance of options. They can’t understand where guys are coming from because it requires no effort for them and they can get it reliably at any time they wish.

As men we don’t get that privilege; casual sex is instant validation, sexual gratification and I can’t tell you how many times a random lay would have brought me out of depression and made my week.

So, in conclusion, having loads of casual sex is a great privilege and I can see why women do it;

However as a man I’m more concerned with what happens after she’s done with her “slutty years”. I think men need to be aware of the “reformed hoe”: far too many women get a lifetime worth of dick from dudes in their 20s and then turn to the safe guy they curved in college for a quick and easy bailout when they’re 30+.

it’s depressing as fuck to think that the chick that wants to “take it easy” with you, might have previously handed it out for free to 60 other dudes before you.

I don’t have a problem with body count if I’m just trying to fuck, but as man who knows his worth and has a little bit of self respect, I would never date a woman who has slept with 20+ guys.

eyewave · 2023-01-06T07:15:52+00:00

I actively encourage it so I can get some :p

Swaggy_Mcswagson · 2023-01-09T16:55:13+00:00

Personally I believe if they enjoy it they should indulge you only live once. For me I don’t find it attractive at all and it’s a %100 dealbreaker if a women has done anything casual.

Title	What are your views on casual sex for women?
Author	Mean_Veterinarian688
Upvotes	14
Comments	269
Date	January 4, 2023 5:18 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/102uv8z/what_are_your_views_on_casual_sex_for_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-your-views-on-casual-sex-for-women.1147127 https://theredarchive.com/post/1147127

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