CMV online dating for most men is a complete waste of time

MateriallyDetatched · 2023-09-18T03:47:46+00:00

Online dating is terrible for men because it makes dating ARTIFICIALLY hard. Also, you can't really tell if you click with someone unless you are interacting with them in person and not just a slideshow of someone's best photos.

Even with 99+ likes on Tinder the options are scarce, unless of course you're some extremely rare stud that has Tinder thots lining up to fuck. In that scenario you would probably have as many options as a slightly above-average woman.

Online dating will fry your dopamine receptors and the fact of the matter is that only an extremely small minority of men are attractive enough to have any success on Tinder, and by success I mean having at least one date or hookup per day that won't flake.

Not only that, Tinder's algorithm is literally designed to keep men lonely in order to get them to subscribe to Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold, and Tinder Platinum.

Forget the dating apps cause the Tindor girls are either mid, thots, or some Stacy harvesting simp-sponsored Instagram attention.

szclimber · 2023-09-18T01:14:44+00:00

Depending on age and location finding single women in the "real world" can be very difficult. Good luck

Safinated · 2023-09-18T06:30:22+00:00

Well, you can tell the 40% + of people who find their partners online that they are wrong. I don’t think they’ll care, though

Operatesinreality · 2023-09-18T01:40:47+00:00

I was always against online dating, it is so artificial. I went on it twice as an experiment, to have a leg to stand on saying it's a very fake feeling BUT I used a website so no swiping, it was reaching out. People could send you messages. I got so many messages in such a short time and all of them similar to each other it was overwhelming. I am not surprised you don't get much attention back if there are so many.

All of it seems so fake and silly and desperate. So I am with ya. Meet people in real life.

dumbumbedeill · 2023-09-18T01:28:09+00:00

Haha yeah and it are not decent matches iether mostly gargoils with to many issues to count on one hand. Apparently my pictures are not good enough for a normal girl that put actual effort in her self development.

jpla86 · 2023-09-18T12:35:27+00:00

As abysmal as online dating is for the majority of men, it's the only place where you can meet women. You can't talk to women in real life without being labeled a creep or a predator.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-09-18T01:16:52+00:00

I’ve gotten 500+ matches over the years and it only yielded one 6 month LTR and 6 hookups most pre Covid although the LTR happened after Covid.

I would say I’m a 7/10 lookswise but am a recent graduate and am the beginning of my career. Usually what gets left on read when I mention I recently graduated and that’s probably because I had health issues that meant I took time off and got my bachelors much later (27). So I probably don’t do well because women don’t want to date someone that old who only just graduated. But tbh, I’ve had girls in college who live with their parents still leave me on read after I mention my situation.

Hi_Iamlexi · 2023-09-18T12:09:51+00:00

The real issue is most men have no idea wtf they’re doing on dating apps. They either have blank profiles, aren’t honest about what they are looking for, only write about themselves and leave no opening for discussions, act entitled as all fuck - it’s wild. My partner and I end up dating so many more women than men and all the women we’ve dated feel the same way about the men on dating apps.

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-09-18T02:21:58+00:00

I wouldn't say a complete waste of time, as I met my boyfriend through it, and my coworker met her husband as well. Interacting IRL is more rewarding, but not always an option if you're disabled, have social anxiety, or trouble initiating face-to-face encounters.

Out of curiosity, which app(s) were you using?

RonMexico432 · 2023-09-19T17:36:27+00:00

It's silly. Guys want a hot girl with no effort SO bad. There's no logical reason to even have a dating account. Most of you aren't hot enough to online date in 2023.

saving_private_ryan_ · 2023-09-18T01:33:03+00:00

Even if you're attractive dating apps are a waste of time.

Source: have been hit on by multiple women IRL who I'm not attracted to at all.

I used to get hit on by nurses when I worked as a security guard for a medical office building. But I wasn't into any of them and some were single mamas so I backed off.

You can't meet single women IRL anyway (at least in the 30s range) so I don't even bother going out.

Freeman_Goldshonnie · 2023-09-19T16:33:48+00:00

Stupid take lmao, I'm normal and I found my girlfriend on Tinder. It took over a year to find someone I was compatible with, but when I did I found the right one. And even if you date IRL you can still passively use Tinder.

Independent_Score217 · 2023-09-20T08:18:18+00:00

All dating is a complete waste of time. Marriage and fidelity mean nothing. Just hire a surrogate. It's safer and cheaper.

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newoneaj1234 · 2023-09-18T01:25:07+00:00

for most men.It works for some guys.

DopeAFjknotreally · 2023-09-18T07:36:15+00:00

Agreed.

Focus on expanding your social circle without expectation for dates. Once you have a strong social circle, it’s easy to meet people irl

obviousredflag · 2023-09-18T08:13:27+00:00

I’ve tried online dating at several times in the last years and I’d say I only got 20-30 matches total. That’s probably with over 2,000 swipes.

That is absolutely normal. How do you only have 2000 swipes in a year? I get that in a month. 30 matches in a month is 1 date a week with only ~13% conversion rate of match to date. Conversations not lasting is a sign of you non-competitive conversation skills.

I did have a ~2% match rate in my Tinder time and went on 1-3 dates per week with about ~25 sexual partners per year from that. So match rate is not the problem. Also, that was done with a free account.

The alternative to online dating is you can go into the real world and actually get to know real people and use charm, charisma and humor to impress women instead of relying on a couple photos and a cheesy bio line.

If you use charm, charisma and humor to impress women after matching with them, they don't ghost you after 2 lines in the majority of cases. You also do not need to use cheesy lines in your bio.

So is it a waste of time? Everything you get 0 return from is a waste of time. That can also be true of real world dating. Do whatever is the best return for your time and resources.

Particular_Trade6308 · 2023-09-18T08:28:25+00:00

OP are you actually meeting women in real life? How many dates do you go on per month via real life?

Razieloo · 2023-09-18T08:35:59+00:00

There is a little contradiction with data: how can it be a failure for everyone if slightly less than half of the young people in the world are meeting through online apps/websites? surely this is not the complete picture

Razieloo · 2023-09-18T08:36:19+00:00

There is a little contradiction with data: how can it be a failure for everyone if slightly less than half of the young people in the world are meeting through online apps/websites? surely this is not the complete picture

Yomzie_hun · 2023-09-18T08:48:23+00:00

Me reading this after watching "Somebody"

princedune · 2023-09-18T09:23:41+00:00

Yes I agree they suck but they're the only option a lot of us have. Until theres an alternative, most guys will keep using them

Throwwaway4970 · 2023-09-18T09:53:26+00:00

Even for chads we don't get the quality we can get on real life trough other venues like social circle or acquaintances.

supremethrone · 2023-09-18T10:06:37+00:00

Most men use it because it's the only acceptable venue left for meeting women. Good luck approaching them anywhere else. Enjoy the creep label

ReplacementPasta · 2023-09-18T10:18:02+00:00

Online dating is mostly a waste of time for everyone involved. Unless you want bad-mid hookups.

Kizka · 2023-09-18T11:28:52+00:00

Yeah, I would agree with that, even for good looking guys. I'm ENM and my bf doesn't bother with dating apps. He has no problems attracting women IRL and forming connections but I think even he would struggle with dating apps. There are just way too many men in order to truly stand out and you can't really show your charisma fully through texts. If you're confident and open and have no issues interacting with women IRL, then dating apps are just a waste of time. But of course meeting new people and someone who's interested, also depends a little bit on luck if you're not the type to go out regularly. My bf is not a party person but was out once with friends for a celebration and that's where he met his current fwb, so yeah, a little bit of luck is also needed.

bruhminer · 2023-09-18T11:47:04+00:00

I only got 20-30 matches total. That’s probably with over 2,000 swipes. So a less than 1% return

That's pretty decent lol.

VTHokie2020 · 2023-09-18T14:06:40+00:00

Your mileage may vary. Online dating has never worked out well for me, but it has for some of my friends. Meeting people in real life - especially women - isn't easy depending on your circumstances.

It takes a lot of effort to build a good social circle that is conducive to dating. That same amount of effort could be use on optimizing the hell out of your profile and getting results like that.

I think it's a matter of preference. You either need to be top 20% in looks/pics for OLD to work. Or top 20% in charisma/social savviness for in-person dating to work.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-09-18T14:34:29+00:00

100% agree. A waste of time and money.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-09-18T17:30:32+00:00

True, and the dating app companies know this. The whole thing is set up to drain lonely men if money

AnonPinkLady · 2023-09-18T22:58:59+00:00

There's a few tips I've learned from online dating that help a lot:

Some people get tons of matches and can't even keep track of who is who so building a connection with someone first requires staying relevant with all of that going on. I recommend logging on every day and not letting the conversation die out, it builds a lot more connection than messaging once or twice a week
It's a lot easier to keep conversations going if you just send them interesting stuff you find online, while staying light hearted. Like sometimes I get nervous or don't know how to start a convo but every day I get new posts from wholesome memes type content or cat memes, something completely harmless and cute. So I'd send people those memes every day and it'd get the convo going again
Be completely honest about you want but don't apply pressure or push. Like I want monogamy and when I was dating I made my goals and interests and intentions very clear and focused on the people that were open or equally interested in the same thing
It's completely okay to let go of a match that doesn't work, don't get caught up in feeling like you have to keep trying it's okay to keep it moving when something doesn't happen.
Some of the worst people are ones that agree to meet you and go on a date the moment you match, they know nothing about you and are often a total shot in the dark, sometimes predatory. Some of the best dates you'll go on are the ones you've built anticipation for, for a week or two.

Visual_Classic_7459 · 2023-09-20T17:29:00+00:00

Yeah, online dating sucks for a lot of those reasons, but I would also add that the women on there need to stop demanding the type of men that they want when they don't deserve them, i.e. they want a six-figure man, etc. These expectations are the reason why the dating culture is this way. Some would say that's just how it is, but it also shows that this is why marriage is avoided by a lot of men especially with faultless divorce, alimony and all of these entitlements (notice i didnt say rights). I am just giving the bigger picture as I think it is often ignored and it plays a big part.

Title	CMV online dating for most men is a complete waste of time
Author	eriksen2398
Upvotes	86
Comments	131
Date	September 18, 2023 1:01 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16lhkbm/cmv_online_dating_for_most_men_is_a_complete/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-online-dating-for-most-men-is-a-complete-waste.1232159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232159

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