Online dating will not decline in popularity because women aren’t receptive to approaching or being approached

wonka___vision · 2024-06-04T12:00:53+00:00

However, women do not want make the approach

Virtually all women would be incels if the roles were reversed.

I always chuckle when women make fun of the incels. It's akin to someone born into wealth making fun of the poor kid. "If only the poor kid tried a little harder he could be as rich as me" they think. Such poor situation awareness.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-06-04T00:24:46+00:00

The reason why online dating will not decline is because men are too desperate, and they are willing to pay hundred or even thousands of dollars on the apps just in the hope of getting a woman. There is also a very predatory tactic revealed by someone who worked for tinder that they will eventually create a fake attractive woman profile, match with unpopular men so that men will pay for tinder gold to see their match. Scummy tactic.

brap-attack · 2024-06-04T01:10:16+00:00

The problem is people are becoming more atomized and less socialized. The idea of just striking up a conversation with a random person, especially an attractive woman is just not something young men (or women) do anymore. If we were honest. it's down to fear. I personally don't like talking to randoms, it scares the fuck outta me. I assume every person wants to go about their business without being interrupted. I also assume women will not be receptive to yet another dude trying to chat her up. I've had more success in hobby groups since you can assume attendees are open for a chat.

KayRay1994 · 2024-06-04T01:49:47+00:00

And yet, its literally been declining in popularity the past year or so and the majority of users have always been men (best case scenario you’re looking at 65/35) - apps have always been more popular to men than they were to women and now the apps have fully been gamified

Sure_Tourist1088 · 2024-06-03T22:31:36+00:00

Oh OP, all you need to do is approach 100 women — something no woman on earth would ever do — and not take it personally when you are brutally rejected, and you too can find the 4/10 of your dreams who thinks she’s settling for you.

Wattehfok · 2024-06-04T01:46:17+00:00

Fuck me. Everyone’s interactions have become so heavily mediated by the internet that you’ve all forgotten how to talk to each other like fucken human beings.

Some dudes here think that they’re going to be descended on by the Radfem Stasi and sent to the Gulag for man-crime because you said hi to the cute chick at the bar.

Meanwhile, some of you women are out here acting like the occasional brief, mildly awkward interaction with a dude you’re not attracted to is the absolute worst thing you can imagine.

Human interactions are weird and awkward and frequently confusing. I wish some of you would just embrace that a little bit more and just talk to each other like people.

Damned kids need to get off my lawn…

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-06-03T22:30:05+00:00

insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2024-06-04T00:43:35+00:00

Most dating apps tend to be oversaturated with men… most women aren’t using them tbh

jay10033 · 2024-06-03T22:22:48+00:00

Depends how attractive you are as a man. One man's "eww, get away from me" is another man's one night stand.

Alternative_Poem445 · 2024-06-03T23:39:41+00:00

men are afraid of being labeled a creep because its dehumanizing and almost all women believe they belong to a lower caste of men that must be punished.

proffessorCouch · 2024-06-04T00:31:51+00:00

Only men who are caring and considerate of women’s feelings will avoid approaching, cause it bothers women. Asshole dudes who don’t give a damn if it bothers women will still approach. Meanwhile online, women will get so many messages that they will ignore most and only those assholes who persist and persist no matter how much it annoys her will get dates. So women will end up with only assholes, haha

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-06-04T02:36:52+00:00

Online dating is soul crushing for men, and akin to dumpster diving for women. You only do that if you don't have other options or have no problems dealing with trash. As a man you can learn where and how to approach and how to read signals. Then try it in more appropriate places. But I agree that there aren't enough places for people to meet each other.

And you can try meeting somebody online without going to dating apps. Like online communities have meetups sometimes.

youarockandnothing · 2024-06-03T22:12:52+00:00

No, what's happening is a third option, where just less people date overall because women are getting fed up with dating apps but don't really know where/how to be approached by quality men either.

Horned-Beast · 2024-06-03T23:43:05+00:00

It already has for men. There have been major news article's describing how those apps are having a rough time enticing marriage or relationship minded men to join.

It's only the ones seeking quick sex that are joining and there aren't near enough men to satisfy the huge demand of the women. Even the app designed to allow only women to connect first, changed its policies to let men message first to tth and entice them and it hasn't worked.

We have abandoned match making events and businesses, club attendance was reported significantly decreasing and men aren't even approaching in public or business atmospheres. The well of men is fast drying up with more men opting to stay single or search for partners internationally.

hungrychick404 · 2024-06-04T00:05:10+00:00

But aren’t women less open to being approached on dating apps too these days? I’ve heard dating app usage is going down, especially with women

Glass-Violinist-8352 · 2024-06-04T11:06:35+00:00

Maybe they will decline with dating bots and robots lol

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-06-03T22:52:15+00:00

Men have also heard stories online or from friends of men who have been made of fun or called harassers for trying to make a polite approach.

It's doesn't matter if it's polite, if it's unwanted or out of context.

People expect to mingle in social venues. If you and ten women are at a social venue in order to see a band play or watch a sport you are all mutually interested in: you already have a built in reason to chat. Sometimes it works, sometimes it fails. No big deal, that's what social venues are for.

The sole reason that cold approach in non social venues is disliked is because the men who choose that route do so because they are asocial and cannot compete in social venues. They go out in search of sitting ducks who are too polite to walk away from an awkward proposition.

Men find a woman's appearance sufficient reason to approach. Women prefer to spend time with a man they already know has similar interests and potentially similar values.

Every single time I'm cold approached, it's from a Mormon or Witness who uses their cold calling/sales training to come on way too strong, and it's as off-putting as having a used car salesman barge into the coffee shop and try to sell me a car I don't want.

There is a solid reason used car salesman's smarmy techniques work better on a car lot than in Target. And that's the exact same reason cold approach works better in a social venue. Because the expectation for both is this: he has chosen the appropriate venue for a sales pitch, he knows his audience is likely looking for the product, and he isn't afraid to socialize with other people around.

Having said all that, men will do whatever the fuck they want to do anyway, but if a man cold approaches a woman trying to buy tampons in the grocery store, he is likely to be treated with the same respect and courtesy he has shown her.

Realistic-Cry5394 · 2024-06-04T00:15:54+00:00

I saw a study where women found 80% of men unattractive. Women are not going to approach men when they aren’t attracted to most single men.

Positive-Quality1100 · 2024-06-03T22:00:06+00:00

Dating apps are here to stay, they're really the easiest and safest way to find someone interested in dating you. If you're struggling on dating apps the outside world won't be easier.

eli_ashe · 2024-06-03T23:46:45+00:00

'men have heard stories online....' nah, those are real things that happened. recall, AWDTSG and so called red flag groups exist and actively harass men whom they think 'deserve it'. there are a host of women who've done gone lost their minds.

Salt_Alternative_86 · 2024-06-03T23:01:30+00:00

It's already declined because men left.

Lanaglu · 2024-06-03T22:32:07+00:00

I think generally the safest place to find people for dates friend of a friend type situations because that way the person has at least been vetted a bit so you have some information about them.

but a lot of people don't have friends anymore. Online dating does have some benefits like you don't have to be around the man before dating, it is safer talking online than it is chatting with some random guy on the street. On the other hand, online men can be more abusive with little consequences because their behind a screen and this is something that pushes a lot of women off online dating.

For me the biggest issue with online dating is finding someone local, I can find great people who share interests and are great to talk to but so few people I can actually meet

Bassist57 · 2024-06-04T02:20:36+00:00

Women are massively privileged on online dating. Oceans of men to choose from.

TopEntertainment4781 · 2024-06-03T22:09:22+00:00

Or you know, you could encourage your local government to invest in free third spaces?

antarctica6 · 2024-06-04T07:07:34+00:00

Online dating will not decline in popularity for the simple reason that they're based on the same psychological ticks as slot machines and sports betting apps. Men are suckers for gambling.

Intrepid-Rip-2280 · 2024-06-04T17:07:32+00:00

It's only a tip of an iceberg. The average worth of people who are searching for a match on dating apps is generally so tremendously poor that staying with eva ai sexting bot and renting prostitutes from time to time seems to make more sense.

yodawgchill · 2024-06-04T17:47:21+00:00

I think a lot of time it depends on the approach. I generally don’t like being approached, but that is because pretty much every time I’ve been approached it was not a fun little chat and was very uncomfortable or scary. I’ve only ever been politely approached in a good environment one time. That was great. That is welcome. However, a lot of guys don’t realize that the hatred for being approached generally comes from a lifetime of experiences with guys who come up to you and are assholes or they say shit that is absolutely horrifying and makes you feel like running to your car.

apresonly · 2024-06-03T23:03:46+00:00

women aren't the ones that make up 80% of app users...

Medical_Sense5953 · 2024-06-03T21:54:44+00:00

There are plenty of ways for men to approach women in social spaces hating don’t come off as creepy or intrusive. It all comes down to approaching a woman as a person rather than a sexual interest. It can honestly be something as simple as complimenting a part of a woman’s outfit, like her shoes, rather than commenting on her overall appearance, and maybe asking where she got them to engage her interest in further conversation. It’s really that simple.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-06-03T23:33:05+00:00

Just gonna leave these here

https://catholicvote.org/new-data-shows-dating-app-are-declining-popularity-among-millennials/

https://www.wfft.com/news/business/singles-are-sick-of-dating-apps-here-s-what-they-re-doing-instead/article_a8357d67-5ed9-58b3-89c7-5f27877250a6.html

https://www.newsweek.com/dating-apps-decline-tinder-bumble-match-1842834

https://www.kare11.com/article/news/local/kare11-extras/dating-apps-decline/89-a6378d82-4f79-47d0-bb42-3be11aa3722e

NY_epigenes · 2024-06-04T04:07:08+00:00

I've had men approach me over the years in the wild and I never viewed it as creepy. Only positive experiences for me, thankfully. I have also approached men, too. But I am 41 and likely an older generation from most of the people here.

superlurkage · 2024-06-03T23:32:19+00:00

There was never a time when cold approaching a stranger was the best way.

girl_in_flannel · 2024-06-03T22:53:22+00:00

Do men not realize that striking up a light convo in the spirit of flirtation isn’t the same as street harassment? I think men are overthinking it and villainizing themselves in the process. When I was single I loved when men lightly flirted with me while out and about.

DoinIt989 · 2024-06-04T00:29:14+00:00

Online dating is already on the decline. Plus most women are more receptive to being approached than using an app

Also, from what I've read, a lot of "singles events" that pop up actually have an issue with too many women.

dJ_86 · 2024-06-04T04:30:04+00:00

Legalize prostitution. It would solve so many problems.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-06-03T21:34:34+00:00

You know that there are many more men picking online dating than women while women are driven off the apps, right? And that most people prefer to meet potential dates in person? That women generally want to be approached more?

shadowrangerfs · 2024-06-04T00:31:32+00:00

You could have singles events. No men will nervous because it is an event specifically for approaching and being approached.

jhunter2015 · 2024-06-04T10:34:30+00:00

It’s definitely a systemic social problem, most women are unattracted to 80% of men. Single women don’t go to social groups at all so it’s mostly dudes. This is what happens when society becomes too comfortable, women have their pick of the litter

DarayRaven · 2024-06-03T21:50:45+00:00

This reminds me when they asked mystery of how dating has changed over the last two decades and well he said people still wanna have fun through social interactions regardless if we live in the online era

I mean for me it was a bit of both as a Millennial, growing up before 2013 you either met women through social venues-school,church,friend groups etc so l get that part but l'm also young enough to realize it's all about image these days

Also l said this earlier, if you want to overcome approach anxiety=approaching more, really simple

AutoModerator · 2024-06-03T21:31:31+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-06-03T21:31:31+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Top-Middle-2791 · 2024-06-04T06:00:47+00:00

However, women do not want make the approach

I think it's the main reason. And precisely because of that

There are also a lack of spaces where it’s expected or accepted to approach.

However

men are nervous to approach because of being perceived as an intrusive or a creep. Men have also heard stories online or from friends of men who have been made of fun or called harassers for trying

And thats somewhat overblown in online discussions. In practice it just won't work in a more banal way, women just decline your proposal

No_Matter_8648 · 2024-06-05T00:16:55+00:00

OP has fundamentally misread the situation both parties are mad for very different reasons & where you move the game to is irrelevant! If you move them in person like speed dating the exact same thing happens. Damn near 100% of men are deemed below & non options.

This is the exact reasons why the dating apps are dead which they are by every measurable metric! What happens next is hard to say but it’s certainly very BP whether you think so or not.

To anyone wondering how it’s possible for a majority of women to be rejecting its rather simple. Any girl 5 & up is going for 8 & up which is almost impossible… we call it Chad or bust.

Women below the 5 (obese women) which I call 1-3s pursue average guys but even average guys don’t want big chicks so basically they might string her along for awhile but I see those relationships end all the time even after years. I guess some guys rather mediocre kitty instead of none & we can understand that.

Men are upset cuz the average guy gets zero matches & zero opportunities with women. The women are mad cuz they only reach for guys wayyy above them & get pumped & dumped. These are two very different problems op & only one of us have the power to fix it. We call it accountability but the women absolutely hate it. Either way really depressing stuff…

Difficult_Falcon1022 · 2024-06-05T00:56:39+00:00

Where I live it's always (in my lifetime) been a weirdo move to hit on women at the street level (bus stop, supermarket etc) but totally acceptable in third spaces (pub, venue, wedding etc).

I do agree that a lack of third spaces has a serious impact on community building and social interactions which of course includes romantic relationships.

I think that whilst it cannot be pleasant to worry about being made fun of, nearly every woman has had some kind of creepy behaviour from men. It's worse to have your personal space violated than your request to enter someone else's space denied because it's terrifying and you were also minding your own business.

SlavePrincessVibes3 · 2024-06-05T13:25:46+00:00

Except it is already declining, at least for women. On Bumble, for example, the ratio of men to women was somewhat reasonable. Now, women make up only 25% of Bumble users. And when you add in that half of that 25% is probably bots and the result is a rather bleak picture.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-06-03T21:49:46+00:00

If you’re not approaching, it’s your loss 🤷‍♂️

RelativeYak7 · 2024-06-04T00:20:00+00:00

I think online dating is better than in life approaching and we are better off for it. I would never have met my dude without the apps.

bzl33 · 2024-06-03T21:58:20+00:00

prioritize finding someone when you're 18-25 and you'll be fine. you can approach and meet new people more easily when you're in that age group. once you're in your mid 20s onward, you're playing a losing game.

Ok-Party263 · 2024-06-04T21:00:06+00:00

I see your point, but it's not all doom and gloom. While online dating has its flaws, it offers a way for people to connect who might not meet otherwise. The key is to balance online interactions with opportunities for in-person meetings. Events, social clubs, and activities centered around shared interests can create those spaces where approaching feels natural and welcome. Change is possible with a shift in social norms and more emphasis on creating approachable environments.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-06-03T22:51:41+00:00

As a married man, I can afford to lightly flirt with women here and there. I can tell you from personal experience that women love to be approached by men of quality and caliber.

However, if you use some or most of the following words to describe yourself: “average, ugly, short, unattractive, undesirable, shy, autistic, neurotic, boring” or any of their variations, then approaching women is probably not the right approach for you (pun intended).

If you use the above words to describe yourself, then you will need to take a very hard look at yourself and fix all the things that you don’t particularly like about your personality until you become a guy that is worthwhile of being your best friend.

Until then, leave the approaching to men who like themselves.

obviousredflag · 2024-06-04T08:19:53+00:00

This is just a myth people tell each other to have a reason to stay passive and not overcome their fear of rejection.

So we’re all doomed to an unhappy world of online dating and nothing will change that.

Oh that was easy for you, right? A call to action for women, combined with a "oh well, i guess i just can't approach!"

Creepy guys get called creeps. Normal looking/behaving people have no issue politely approaching women basically anywhere. But creeps don't know they are creeps, that's why they flood the internet with stories of being called a creep/harasser for just being polite.

How do you know if you are a creep? By approaching women and being called a creep. Change your approach until you are no longer called a creep.

You have a very low chance to get called a creep if you avoid most things that make you creepy.

https://www.wikihow.com/Not-Be-Creepy

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-06-04T11:51:08+00:00

OLD has been around for 20+ years, before that there was video dating, before that there were personals ads in newspapers

OLD is just an evolution of an alternate way of meeting people.

arsenalfc4life1500 · 2024-06-03T22:19:38+00:00

Not for those of us who actually have the courage to go outside

Title	Online dating will not decline in popularity because women aren’t receptive to approaching or being approached
Author	eriksen2398
Upvotes	110
Comments	578
Date	June 3, 2024 9:31 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1d7g7df/online_dating_will_not_decline_in_popularity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/online-dating-will-not-decline-in-popularity.1520471 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520471

Comments