Many women, by believing in "their worth", believe unattractive men aren't worthy enough, which is kind of a contradiction

fakingandnotmakingit · 2023-09-27T23:01:08+00:00

Believing your own worth is internal. Denying other people their worth is external.

Believing your own worth is simply saying "this is what I expect in a relationship. These are my boundaries. This is what I want."

Men and women can both do this.

Being rejected is not denying your worth

Stop tying being worthy to dating. You can be a great man in many metrics and therefore be "worthy" of love. But your lifestyle or personality might not be compatible with 90% of the opposite gender. That doesn't make you less worthy as a person. People can have their boundaries and you can have yours.

Here's an example of different worths. If you were a woman who was attractive, beautiful and intelligent but also wanted an equal relationship ad an equal partnership that would make you almost incompatible with 90% of men in the 1800s England. That doesn't make her any less worthy. She's just not compatible.

You can be a beautiful woman who wants to be a traditional housewife. But also believes that a man must provide for all her needs and she will do all the household chores. And a man doesn't get a say in how she raises her children. Because that's a women's role. However lots of men who don't want to be the only breadwinner will not be Compatible with her. Or men who want to be more active father's.

You can be a man who wants a rural lifestyle but lives in a country where 90% of women live in the cities.

None of these have to do with "worth" and everything to do with compatibility

Knowing your worth is making sure you are happy single and you will not accept relationships don't make you happier than you are now.

If you can't make the person you like happier than they are now that doesn't mean you are not worthy of them. Just that the two of you aren't supposed to be together.

Sillysheila · 2023-09-27T23:04:39+00:00

It’s not that unattractive men have no worth, it’s just that some people are not attracted to them. It’s very hard to have a good sexual/romantic relationship if you don’t want to kiss or have sex with someone. How do you even suggest women go about this?

twistednormz · 2023-09-27T22:49:20+00:00

the self-esteem of these girls contradicts the self-esteem of those unattractive men.

No. You having self esteem doesn't take away from the self esteem of others. That's why the word "self" is in there. Your self esteem applies only to how you see and feel about yourself, not about the esteem others hold for you. It's as if you're arguing that women should have less self esteem lest the poor men feel worthless. But those men need to work on their own self esteem.

Able-Imagination3695 · 2023-09-27T23:07:12+00:00

No, you've got it twisted. Their worth isn't determined by a man, period. It is difficult for you to understand this concept because of how much you center women, sex and relationships in your life. What you're having a difficult time with here is the realization that average women - at least the women you consider average - do not seem to center men, sex and relationships to the point where they're willing to date and be relationships with men for the sake of it.

That's the thing, that's the struggle you guys are having a hard time coping with. It's not that "their worth" is indicated by a 10/10 billionaire, it's that they'd rather be alone and enjoy their lives as single women unless someone who can genuinely improve her life and well-being comes along.

unlike men who have to work for the romantic experiences they want

Yes, because you are a male existing in the Animal Kingdom. Take it up with mother nature - it's important that females get pregnant but it's not important that every male gets a chance to fuck and procreate. In fact, it's better if the weaker males don't.

grillopie · 2023-09-27T22:57:02+00:00

I dont know why you have to see every action as victimizing. Believe in your worth is about your own actions, not about others. Its not “believe your worth is way better than these plebs out here.”

It basically means stick to your own standards, your own desires in a partner, dont settle just because you find it tough. Men should do this too.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-09-27T22:47:23+00:00

You won't be an option to her if she doesn't find you attractive. Her self esteem could be buried in a graveyard somewhere and she isn't going to want a man that she finds ugly.

blebbyroo · 2023-09-27T22:47:55+00:00

I disagree I think often times (not always of course) men show they have low self esteem or low social skills or low confidence and that combined with mediocrity in other area like job/finances, style, humour, and looks makes women who have high self esteem think that they aren’t on the same level.

That’s why there’s always the stories and anecdotes of the average- below average guy who does well because of his social skills and “game”. These guys put off a vibe of high self esteem, and people with that vibe are attractive even if they aren’t extremely good looking.

hungrychick404 · 2023-09-27T22:50:49+00:00

Most of the time when I hear people talking about “knowing their worth”, it’s in regards to behavior, not appearance.

Dstar538888 · 2023-09-27T23:28:25+00:00

Here we go again with this number shit 🙃 nobody owes anyone else attraction or attention regardless of how hot or ugly you think they are, people are allowed to either pursue people that they are attracted to or remain single, that’s their choice 🌝

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-09-27T22:58:57+00:00

they believe in their worth and in the process they say the unattractive men who want them don't have enough worth, they believe those men are not good enough for them, they won't give those guys a chance because "they believe in their worth" and "they know what they deserve".

Because they aren't interested. You can be attractive, and not all women are going to be interested in you.

silverhippo15 · 2023-09-27T23:58:19+00:00

Man... the girls here must be sick and tired of discussing mid guys. That ain't fun.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2023-09-27T23:28:11+00:00

You can’t negotiate physical attraction.

If someone tells you they aren’t interested respect that and yourself and move on. No need to desperately lash out to try to get them to change their mind. It will not work and it will only make you look worse.

trettles · 2023-09-27T23:55:27+00:00

I think this is more about not putting up with abuse, ill treatment, negging, cheating, laziness, etc. More women shouldn't compromise on this stuff, in my opinion.

Justwannaread3 · 2023-09-27T23:20:09+00:00

Having self worth does not mean you view other people as unworthy. That is not how it works.

Having self worth also shouldn’t be (and in well adjusted people is not) predicated upon having any other person view you as “worthy.” Self worth is an internal function.

figuringLifeIsGood · 2023-09-27T23:23:17+00:00

not being compatible is not equivalent to not being good enough

AceOfSpadesGymBro · 2023-09-28T00:09:38+00:00

What you are saying is that you give women the power to be the jury, judge and executioner of your own self worth. You are making the opinions of total strangers more important than your own opinion of you, although those strangers know nothing about you and you have known yourself your entire life.

Unless, of course, you happened to agree wjth the opinions of those strangers? In that case, tit may want to fix how you feel about yourself.

Safinated · 2023-09-28T00:12:05+00:00

Nope

You’re either acceptable to me or you’re not

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-09-27T23:42:51+00:00

The market dictates your worth in this particular market. That's all there is to it. "Believing" has nothing to do with anything. It's pure delusion.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-09-28T01:13:01+00:00

Who cares what they believe - if they're wrong they'll 'pay' for it by being single and unwanted by the men they want.

If they're right and those 10/10 men want them then they're on their level by definition.

The only thing you need changing your view about is why do you think other people's beliefs are even your business? Go to the market and see what your worth really is, don't go online and try to hypothesize others' worth.

onion_rings_addict · 2023-09-28T01:18:26+00:00

it's not like there's a finite amount of self esteem and women are having it all, men should also have self esteem.

also men's worth isn't based on how women value them and vice versa

WilliamWyattD · 2023-09-28T05:18:26+00:00

There's no contradiction. Women are humans, and humans have egos that need feeding. When any human has leverage over another, they tend to use that position of advantage to feel superior to the person they are advantaged over. This soothes us. Makes us feel high status. We get the sweet chemical brain rain.

So yeah, in women's eyes men are often led around by their dicks and seem weak because they will do anything for sex. So most women will on some level feel superior to men for this because, again, this is normal. Humans will take any excuse to feel superior to someone else.

sweetbrown89 · 2023-09-28T10:26:16+00:00

Dating is a compatibility check, not a result of worth

Someone I’m not attracted to is not compatible with me

Someone very unattractive in my eyes is also not compatible with me

Does this have any reflection on their or my worth? No

I may be compatible with them — according to them — but that doesn’t magically make them compatible to me, according to me

We all determine who we find compatible or not

A 3 out of 10 woman who believes in her worth will not magically be compatible with a 10 out of 10 man who does not see her as such

This isn’t that hard

10throwawayantsy · 2023-09-28T02:31:42+00:00

Unattractive men have always treated me horrifically so I don't give chances anymore

Lenovo_Driver · 2023-09-28T03:01:50+00:00

This place seriously needs to do something about these bullshit made up posts where dudes here go on long tangents arguing against talking points that they’ve made up in their heads..

There really needs to be a if you’re quoting someone actually source the quote rule here. Cuz it’s ridiculous how dumb these posts are..

ratboi34 · 2023-09-27T22:56:35+00:00

Women don't want to actively pursue, but wait for men to pursue them. That's why women manifest, which is all you can do when you are waiting and when they do, they jump to an ideal, because it's all happening in their mind and in your mind you are allowed and able to go to an extreme. It's like men fantasizing about sleeping with supermodels. The difference is that we actually have to actively do shit to get what we want and we get confronted with reality very early. If men manifest, they know they'll stay in fantasyland forever. Some women are more realistic about it, some are not. Some stay idealistic forever, some succeed and some snap out of it. That's why a lot of women will tell you at some point, that the right person is not the one that causes the most emotion but gives you the most safety or sum shit.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-09-28T05:52:52+00:00

It's not zero sum. Everyone can be enough. Someone can be enough and incompatible with you, so you may be worth more than being with someone you're incompatible with. On average, however, women have lower self-esteem than men so are less likely to think they're enough. You're vastly overestimating the portion who believe in their worth

xTakki27 · 2023-09-27T23:47:53+00:00

Some women think they deserve a 10/10, even though they are not even a 6/10 and they are not willing to put any work to be more attractive, they think they deserve a 10/10 just for existing and "believing in themselves".

You mean, 80% of all women think, that they deserve a mix of Elon Musk and Henry Cavill just for existing and it's pathetic...but it confirms that 80/20 rule...

Even worse, if they look like Lizzo and have a personality like a chainsaw chain...

Wolvengirla88 · 2023-09-28T19:16:58+00:00

Women: I am worthy of being treated well by a man who is not looking for a mommy. Men: this is so unfair!

RonMexico432 · 2023-09-27T23:16:05+00:00

Women think if they believe hard enough that everyone else will believe they’re a 10 too.

Savings_Effort_9513 · 2023-09-28T00:13:36+00:00

Women are more narcissistic than ever before mainly due to the insane amount of simps and losers that are paying for multiple girls onlyfans

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MistyMaisel · 2023-09-28T00:52:03+00:00

So, maybe, but mostly no.

Usually the better you feel about yourself and the more confident and secure you feel, the more readily you will see the good, positive, and worthy of praise characteristics in others.

Insecurity and self-doubt is so corrosive in part because it makes you project your own internal feelings onto other people quite naturally. If you aren't great, no one else can be. If you aren't happy, no one else can be.

Whereas if you feel secure and confident, it's much easier to project that onto others.

A lot of women saying they know their worth have been in bad relationships because of their insecurity and trauma and are realizing they're allowed to expect better of the next man and that if a man shows the same red flags, this time they can avoid him because they finally like themselves enough to know they deserve better than that.

A lot of the poor treatment and relationship damage we accept comes from a place of believing we deserve bad treatment and aren't lovable.

Sufficient-Print-705 · 2023-09-28T01:59:34+00:00

I think what is happening is for many reasons women have elevated their dating expectations to delusional levels. For a woman to admit that she is a 4 but is looking for a 9 and up, is to admit that she is compeltely entitled. To get around this women create these schemas in their head that all women are 10s and their inherent amazing value. Look at body positivity and how these women think they are very attractive even though almost no men agree with that.

The concept that women use to say they are all 'know their worth' and 'wont settle', is to push the delusion one step away. Accepting the blatantly obvious truth that these are just women wanting better than themselves, they can just claim that some universal truth exists of women's inherently crazy high value.

Look at feminism for delusion. Most of the concepts of feminism can be boiled down to an innaccurate view of the world and human nature based on what wish wish was true because it would benefit them.

Wolvengirla88 · 2023-09-28T06:41:51+00:00

The same men that post things like this would never in a million years date a fat woman or a woman with a chronic illness or children or a disability Or facial disfigurement.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-09-28T11:48:34+00:00

Yeah, believe it or not it's not actually about men at all. I know that might be difficult given how obsessed men are with women, but..... it's not.

Operatesinreality · 2023-09-29T08:29:40+00:00

I don't think any of this matters in reality.

I see it this way: I have my view on my looks and my character that are according to what I like and value. When it comes to dating? I don't care how others see me, what they see as worthy or not. I know what I AM interested in other people and I can get it. So that's all.

Title	Many women, by believing in "their worth", believe unattractive men aren't worthy enough, which is kind of a contradiction
Author	depressed_apple20
Upvotes	1
Comments	114
Date	September 27, 2023 10:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16tyevi/many_women_by_believing_in_their_worth_believe/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/many-women-by-believing-in-their-worth-believe.1233256 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233256

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